The Sugar Quill
Sugar Quill Community
- S.P.E.W (SQ History)

Fan Fiction and Writing
- Ask Madam Pince
(Story Submissions)
- Floo Network (Links)

Forums

Administrative Links

Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 5

Reviewer: JuicyJuiceDate: 2005-08-27
Reviewid: 131053Chapter: 1
...well now I'm even more in love with Snape then I was before! Good story, very well written. It could have used a bit more conflict, though.

~JJ

Reviewer: mouleeDate: 2003-08-05
Reviewid: 45476Chapter: 1
wow, taht was great! i wish i cud write as wella s u! the characters r so humanly erected! i luved it! the ending was spectactular! thank u!

Reviewer: CrystalDate: 2002-11-11
Reviewid: 8774Chapter: 1
Excellent story! You have a good ear for dialogue and I like your descriptions, as well.

Sarah is a likable, believable OFC - not in any way a "Mary Sue." I commend you for making her a Ravenclaw, since they get short-shrifted in fanfics; and making her the new Hogwarts librarian, instead of the DADA teacher. There are so many Snape/DADA teacher fics floating around out there, to have him fall for a librarian is a breath of fresh air and originality. Plus, Snape is the type to want an *intelligent* woman. I see him as the kind of man who prizes brains and good sense in any woman he might fall for.

The *one* thing I would change in your story is to cut out *some* of the descriptions of Sarah's clothes. I don't think lots of wardrobe descriptors are necessary - such as what she wore to the Quidditch match, etc. - a simple "Sarah wore blue in honor of the Ravenclaw team" might have sufficed. But this is a tiny quibble in an otherwise well-written fic.

Thank you also for not making Charlie a monster, even though he dumped Sarah. Hey - they were young, they grew apart, BFD! Happens all the time IRL and it doesn't mean anyone is at fault. Brava to Sarah for getting on with her life and finding a good man to share it with.

Finally, I liked that you gave Snape's perspective on Harry. Since this is not a Trio-centric story it's good to see them from a professor's perspective. Snape telling Sarah that she says Harry is "a nice enough kid" but that he's broken rule after rule, and Snape has had to save his neck many a time, is something we don't get to see in the books but looked at this way, one can well understand why Snape would get exasperated with Harry.

Good work! Special congratulations, again, on your terrific OC.

Reviewer: becDate: 2002-08-17
Reviewid: 2266Chapter: 1
sweet story
not much to it

Reviewer: YolandaDate: 2002-08-04
Reviewid: 813Chapter: 1
I really enjoyed reading this story. Sarah was a very likeable character. I think I admired her for her attitude about the break-up with Charlie. She just had this quiet, self-assured, calm that really rang true.

I'll mention a couple of things that stood out to me first. I like the way you use her belief in him to give him the opportunity to believe in himself. I'm glad someone else sees him as a potentially decent husband.

I also liked the fact that her brother lives in Vancouver. I enjoyed visiting British Columbia a lot. It would be great to live there, I bet.

I found your writing style very evocative in a subtle way. You're very good at subtle physical clues-like eyes meeting, glances for longer than necessary. I could read a lot of emotion by what they were doing.

Some of my favorite quotes: "Stop mooning, Severus. If you're lonely it's your own fault. Loathsome bastard. You don't become a Death Eater, or a spy, for the companionship." LOL!

"Was he always, well…that…sexy when he got angry in class? I wouldn't have noticed anyway, with my head constantly in the book or the cauldron…but he really does have beautiful eyes." Yes, he does!

"You used to be my teacher, and now I'm working with you, and what the hell was I thinking?" That was spontaneous and cute.

Thanks for a fun story.

The Sugar Quill was created by Zsenya and Arabella. For questions, please send us an Owl!

-- Powered by SQ3 : Coded by David : Design by James --