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Dumbledore's Army
Review(s): 47

Reviewer: Glom GloomDate: 2005-07-14
Reviewid: 127141Chapter: 1
Are you going to update this?

Are you are you are you? I know that you have waited a long time and it is pre-OotP, but it is also really good. What happens next?

Reviewer: LairyFightsDate: 2004-12-17
Reviewid: 107990Chapter: 5
Look down at earliers review!!!

Give me more chapters! Is Remus going to get a girl?

Reviewer: LairyFightsDate: 2004-12-17
Reviewid: 107989Chapter: 4
I really like your chapter titles. How do you come up with them? I personally think that it would nice if you had a new chapter.

Or are you giving up on this story?

Reviewer: LairyFightsDate: 2004-12-17
Reviewid: 107988Chapter: 3
Heh heh! Who gets the chair now!

This is fun AND funny

Reviewer: LairyFightsDate: 2004-12-17
Reviewid: 107987Chapter: 2
nice.

Reviewer: LoonyLunaLoverDate: 2004-12-08
Reviewid: 107254Chapter: 5
Hey this story is really good. You got the characters spot on. And it is kinda creepy how you predicted stuff that would happen in tOotP!! Have you abandoned this story or are you gonna finish?

HEEEEE HEEEEEEE HEEEEE!

Reviewer: Glom GloomDate: 2003-08-20
Reviewid: 47961Chapter: 5
Hey! Are you ever planning on continueing this? I know its AU now but pleez!

And you even got to be right about Hogwarts getting a political officer type person. Though yours is way nicer than Umb*tch.

Reviewer: LDate: 2003-03-10
Reviewid: 23534Chapter: 5
i love this!! but what's going on with Hermione??

Reviewer: Ara KaneDate: 2003-03-10
Reviewid: 23500Chapter: 5
What a lovely chapter. I enjoyed looking at Harry and Ron's synergy through a teacher's eyes :) I'd also love to find out why Hermione wasn't submitting her own essays.

Poor Hagrid. I can just imagine those Giants killing him. I hope he gets vindicated! How exactly, I don't know -- maybe the Giants who killed Hagrid could run into Voldemort and then Voldie could in turn be beaten soundly by the Order. That would be nice.

Reviewer: ArleneDate: 2003-03-09
Reviewid: 23435Chapter: 5
Ohhh! I like it a lot! Keep writing and update soon! Excellent writing!!!! :)

Reviewer: ArleneDate: 2003-03-09
Reviewid: 23357Chapter: 4
Very very good! I like it a lot! Keep writing! Excellent story!

Reviewer: MerusaDate: 2003-03-09
Reviewid: 23356Chapter: 5
I really like this story. The point of view changes are a wonderful change, especially since the majority of ff writers stick to the canonical POV. You write your chapters very well. I like Nia a lot, and I'm glad Remus has found a friend! Perhaps eventually more than a friend, hee hee...until a full moon rolls about. You've written your characters correctly. Write again soon!

Reviewer: Glom GloomDate: 2003-03-08
Reviewid: 23306Chapter: 5
Everything is getting so sad! And I feel almost sorry for Nora.

Reviewer: Ariana DeralteDate: 2003-01-06
Reviewid: 15369Chapter: 1
I like the pov you've chosen to write from. The start was interesting as well, though I'm amazed that all the professors weren't a bit more shocked to see a severed head arrive over breakfast. I think Kip impressed me the most as a character and I liked the way you are fleshing out knockturn alley. Cheers.

Reviewer: DurayanDate: 2003-01-03
Reviewid: 15056Chapter: 4
Quite an intriguing tale you have going here! Hope you continue it soon! Your Snape is quite well done, as are all of your first-person voices. You do a lovely job of making clear that Snape, in spite of his relationship with Dumbledore, still doesnt quite comprehend him. I really liked Snape's impression of chaperoning dances to be up there with spy missions in the the ratings for unpleasant experiences.

Keep it coming!

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2002-12-29
Reviewid: 14342Chapter: 4
Iím loving the alliteration of your titles :)

> There is something uniquely fun about sneaking back into school under an invisibility cloak after midnight with the full permission of the Headmaster.

LOL He certainly is his fatherís son, isnít he?

> It made me want to keep from standing too near, but Ron, who kept Ďaccidentallyí bumping into her, didnít seem to mind.

And the trio grows up. I wonder if Hermione is as cognizant as Harry as to just how "accidental" those collisions are. Iím glad to see Harry taking responsibility for himself at the end of the chapter as well; so far heís simply been reacting as things happen (except for the Triwizard Tournament); itís about time he started being proactive and researching everything he can. I canít wait to see what he comes up with.

> I reminded myself that with Sirius, the war would always take precedence. If I were in danger, he would be at my side at a momentís notice, but if I was lonely or unhappy he wasnít always able to take the time to help.

Iím not sure I can see this happening in canon, but itís plausible enough as a situation. And Harryís feelings of resentment (and then guilt) are very natural.

> The thought of all the things the Weasley twins might do to my letter while Ďkeeping it safeí spurred me out of bed.

Hee :) The tiny snippet of WeasleyTwin Goodness was delightful. Iíd love to see more of it in the next chapter.

Whatís Hermione doing with Professor Snape that Harry doesnít know about? Hmm. . . youíve certainly got my curiosity piqued.

Reviewer: TayloireDate: 2002-12-22
Reviewid: 13567Chapter: 4
This fan fic is great! I loved the bit about S.B. that was hilarious. And its great you threw a little R/H in there. That was sooo funny. Update soon *tayloire*

Reviewer: MrRobertsIIIDate: 2002-12-19
Reviewid: 13333Chapter: 4
But when Fred inquired loudly if Seamusís middle name was perhaps Boris,
-Made me laugh!

Once I thought about it, the answer was almost pathetically obvious. I needed to study. I needed to teach myself about protections spells, curses, dueling, and at least enough about the Dark Arts that they would not surprise me.
- I couldn't agree more.


Your writing style is just fine for Snape, but when you write Harry and Hermonie it makes them sound like they are 3 times their age.

Reviewer: Glom GloomDate: 2002-12-18
Reviewid: 13269Chapter: 4
Oh! How is Sirius going to get him into the Restricted Section?

Reviewer: Ara KaneDate: 2002-12-18
Reviewid: 13226Chapter: 4
Great chapter as always, Gwena! I liked reading about Naughty!Ron and the hullaballoo about Harry's letter and Sirius' initials. You captured Harry's sobriety and occasionally wry sense of humor very well. More soon, please -- but finish your homework first! :D

Reviewer: RugiDate: 2002-12-18
Reviewid: 13223Chapter: 4
Love the new chapter! It was such fun to see it go through its many stages of completeness. I especially enjoyed the beginning scene where Harry is doing battle with his feelings of Leftoutedness. And I am enjoying the next chapter too (though nobody gets to read it yet but me. hee hee!)

Reviewer: Dien AlcyoneDate: 2002-12-10
Reviewid: 12129Chapter: 3
Hey, this looks very interesting. What happens next? Three chapters is not enough! I look forward to the rest of the Order's meeting. More, please!
~d.a.

Reviewer: CrystalDate: 2002-12-08
Reviewid: 11749Chapter: 3
Let me start off by saying I love your characterizations of both Snape and Hermione. You are doing a great job with them.

I thought that Hermione writing a missive on dental floss was very funny. Being that her parents are dentists, she probably knows all about the stuff. Does she like the mint-flavored kind? I also liked the subtle hints of R/H'ness you are throwing in - Hermione looks forward to reading Ron's scribbled lines over Viktor's long letters. Yup, that's love!

Your description of an "Order" meeting in the Shrieking Shack was funny, as was your description of Mr. McGonagall and Arabella Figg - another ToughOldBird!Mrs. Figg, I am happy to see.

One of my favorite lines was: "Those words always had an ominous sound to them. Many of the worst experiences in my life, from spying missions to chaperoning dances, had started with Albus asking me for a small favor." I can just see it. Poor Severus, having to (gasp!) entertain a woman for an evening!

I am looking forward to more.

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2002-12-07
Reviewid: 11596Chapter: 3
> I had never though of Deadening Draught as a particularly useful potion. It acts as a temporary emotional anesthesia. For one hour the drinker is separated form their emotions and able to think with perfect logic. However, when the effect wears off, all the repressed emotions well up at once. If the potion had been used to suppress anything particularly nasty, the backlash could easily drive the drinker to insanity.

Ooh! What a wonderful, creative idea. I might have to ask permission to borrow this at some point :)

> Many of the worst experiences in my life, from spying missions to chaperoning dances, had started with Albus asking me for a small favor.

Hee! Oh, thatís probably so true. . . Snape would never volunteer to chaperone a dance, Iím sure.

> my recital of Kipís conditions seemed to light a fire in Miss Grangerís eyes. I realized with a shudder that I had just inadvertently given the Know-It-All a puzzle

Hee! That is exactly what Hermione would do. Just look at how she reacted to finding out how the house-elfs were treated!

Again, a few typographical errors, but they donít detract too much from the flow of the story. Very good work! I love the voice of your Snape. Do you intend to alternate between Snape and Hermioneís POVs throughout the story, or to add others? More, please!

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2002-12-06
Reviewid: 11544Chapter: 2
> I escaped to my room to rest and conserve emotional energy at frequent intervals by claiming the need to complete summer homework assignments.

LOL Thatís a mouthful. Leave it to Hermione to be erudite at a time like this.

Hmm. . . Hermione doesnít write to Harry or Ginny at all over the summer?

> Mr. Potter has just demonstrated one of the most important principles of defensive magic: Be creative. If you do not know the specific spell to accomplish a task, use one that will achieve a similar result.

This lady certainly knows what sheís doing. Good for her. Iím glad to see the series of competent (if sometimes dangerous) DADA teachers continue.

A few punctuation and capitalization errors.

Reviewer: Emma DalrympleDate: 2002-12-06
Reviewid: 11540Chapter: 1
> I was unable to perform the spying myself as I had done during the Dark Lordís first reign, but inevitable because some of my conversations with Quirrell and hence Voldemort had betrayed my true loyalties.

Ooh. . . thatís a point that is rarely brought up. People always assume Snape will go back to spying for Voldemort, but his behavior to Quirrel during Harryís first year was rather telling, wasnít it?

I like the clipped diction and sentences you use here. Just right for Snapeóhe has never been one to elaborate or give more details than necessary (unless it involves insulting someone).

> I practiced looking comfortably menacing

Hehehe. . . your Snape is wonderfully snarky.

> It is a generally accepted pattern that only intelligent followers turn traitor.

Hmm. . . interesting. But very true. No one suspected Peter, after all.

> He has even less tolerance for carelessness and stupidity than I do.

Heh. Thatís hard to imagine.

A few capitalization errors in this.

Reviewer: oybolshoiDate: 2002-12-06
Reviewid: 11519Chapter: 3
you've made a good start - it's an interesting premise & I like the fact that you've brought up the whole Quirrell/Voldemort knowledge about Snape problem (at least I think it's a problem).

Reviewer: JulianeDate: 2002-12-06
Reviewid: 11499Chapter: 2
>Unfortunately, the homework assigned was barely enough to fill a week.

That's our Hermione! I like the way she talks her way to her conclusions, and her logical evaluations of everything that is happening.

Commissar Garrett is a hoot! I love her fussy dialogue. You're so good a creating distinct voices for each character.

>And Slytherins were subtly more isolated and regarded with a bit of suspicion. If the changes had been large, I could have adjusted quickly. But the slight changes gnawed at me. I felt that I was always out of phase with everyone else.

Again, great description. It makes sense that Hogwarts would be more subdued after Cedric's death and the return of Voldy.

>It was possibly the least dramatic Defense Against the Dark Arts class I had ever attended

LMAO....

Reviewer: JulianeDate: 2002-12-06
Reviewid: 11497Chapter: 1
Ooh, *wonderful* opening! Shocking, but told in Snape's voice, kind of funny at the same time. I like the tone you give to Snape - supercilious, arrogant, and impatient. Very canon!

>Kip is best thought of as a part of Knockturn Alley. As he acknowledges neither mother nor father, it is almost possible to believe him bred from the very cobbles.

Lovely description!

I've always been fascinated by how Voldy's organization might work, and you've given some fascinating hints in this first chapter! Can't wait to read more.

Reviewer: CatherineDate: 2002-12-06
Reviewid: 11494Chapter: 3
Good characterizations!

I could use more cohesiveness between the character changing, but the voices, dialogue and details are good.

Catherine

Reviewer: JestanaDate: 2002-12-04
Reviewid: 11159Chapter: 3
Interesting. I especially like the MoM witch, Commissar Garret. She likes Snape! And annoys him! Perfect combination. :-D I liked the DADA lesson. You've characterized Snape perfectly. I don't think I would change a thing about him. Bravo!

Reviewer: Ara KaneDate: 2002-12-02
Reviewid: 10907Chapter: 3
I could swear I've read and reviewed this before...maybe I just read it *blush* and then lost track of it.

Anyways, great story, Gwena! I liked it back when I first read it and enjoyed reading the latest installment. I agree that the head was gross and the DADA class cool. I also liked Snape's descriptions of the Order meeting, especially the friendly rivalry between Dumbledore and Arabella Figg. I'd love to see more of them in later chapters, and am curious to read about the Trio's initiation into the Order!

Reviewer: Glom GloomDate: 2002-11-17
Reviewid: 9379Chapter: 3
Hee hee! Poor Snape. Trapped making conversation with a tedious woman! And what is Hermione thinking of? More problems for Snappy!

Reviewer: YolandaDate: 2002-11-10
Reviewid: 8652Chapter: 3
This was priceless and perfect Snape having a bad day. No wonder the poor man is often in a bad mood. I loved his musing about having been tortured at the hands of the Dark Lord, so that he should be able to survive a few hours with Commissar. And the plea at the end to keep Hermione out of his business was just too funny. Poor Sev, everyone is out to get him!

The appearance of Mr. McGonagall was also very funny. I can imagine he would be a balance to her seriousness.

Very interesting plot and fun characterizations.

Reviewer: RugiDate: 2002-11-07
Reviewid: 8411Chapter: 3
"However, the main cause of my cringing was that it was stuffed full of people.

Noisy people."

This is my favorite part! Its so SNAPE!

Reviewer: BlueBellFlameDate: 2002-10-19
Reviewid: 6658Chapter: 2
you left a cliffhanger! you left a cliffhanger! argh!

Reviewer: YolandaDate: 2002-10-17
Reviewid: 6513Chapter: 2
Gwena, the first thing that struck me was Hermione's consideration for her parents. You really characterized her well and I hope my own child would act that way--yes, even though she didn't tell the whole truth.

Commissar Garrett was a hoot. And to think that Snape would be their saving. Hee! I bet he gets into it with her eventually, although I guess he has to worry that Fudge has seen his Dark Mark.

I love Ignia and her class was very interesting. What a great idea to have spells interact and react, much like drugs would.

Another good chapter.

Reviewer: Kate GriffithDate: 2002-10-17
Reviewid: 6497Chapter: 2
I like Prof. Antiope's motherly face and tranquil demeanor. Nothing flashy. But I'm wondering if her advice to cast a spell to achieve a similar result to the one actually desired marks her for trouble? I don't think I've read that before.
Also like the way you used different type for the two narrators.
"If the changes had been large, I could have adjusted quickly. But the slight changes gnawed at me. I felt that I was always out of phase with everyone else." - Hermione, Chap. 2
Good line. Is 'phase' what the British use where an American would say 'step'? I noticed that was different. And I recognize the sentiment. I adjust to big changes much better than small, annoying ones.

Reviewer: RugiDate: 2002-10-17
Reviewid: 6488Chapter: 2
Hee hee! Congrats on the new chapter Gwena! I love the annoying political officer and I can't wait to see the next part up!

Reviewer: usakoesmDate: 2002-10-17
Reviewid: 6483Chapter: 2
what a great fic! you've got the characters' personalities down perfectly. i can't wait for the nexy chapter :)

Reviewer: majiklmoonDate: 2002-10-17
Reviewid: 6482Chapter: 2
this is great. I love the new DADA prof.

Reviewer: GinnyDate: 2002-10-17
Reviewid: 6477Chapter: 2
This is very interesting, wonder what happens next.

Reviewer: wslamexeDate: 2002-10-16
Reviewid: 6476Chapter: 2
wow i likde this one very much...
hope to see more from it soon...
wsl

Reviewer: A.L. de SauveterreDate: 2002-10-11
Reviewid: 5973Chapter: 1
Gwena! I LOVE the tone of your Snape: wry, detached -- a bit of a cynical, world-weary... Sherlock Holmes (okay, maybe not the best parallel, but Snape's wonderful nevertheless). And the diction you use is PERFECT. The well-placed beats, pointed pauses, all superbly done. I enjoyed reading it all, but some of my favourite lines are:

<<Considering the black paper and odd stains on the parcel, I began to suspect that I would not be finishing my early morning repast. And the presence of Mortin&#8217;s severed head in the package only confirmed my suspicions. >>

LOL! I mean, one shouldn't laugh, but... LOL!

<<"Considering that she is now dead and delivered to me in this unnecessarily dramatic fashion, I believe it is safe to assume that Voldemort questioned her loyalty.">>

These words *would* come out of his mouth!

Snape's observations about others, too, are PRICELESS, including this about Kip:

eg. <<In all honesty, when I think of his reasons for joining Voldemort I can most completely state them as &#8216;why not?&#8217;. >>

And the blithering Palson reminds me of the irritatingly loquacious Miss Bates in Austen's "Emma", of all people... yes... people.

Great start! I can't wait to see how this unfolds.

Axelle :)

Reviewer: Glom GloomDate: 2002-10-08
Reviewid: 5704Chapter: 1
Really fun Snape! Its cool to climb into the old Potions Master's head!

Reviewer: YolandaDate: 2002-10-07
Reviewid: 5650Chapter: 1
Eep! The head was gruesome, but these are the real bad guys and this is how they play. I like your Snape's cool, analytical demeanor. He is so not James Bond and yet so much better. Intriguing start.

Reviewer: RugiDate: 2002-10-07
Reviewid: 5640Chapter: 1
Hee hee! Well you finally got the story up! Good for you! I am really impressed with your Snape and I thought the head in the eggs was a wonderful touch of gruesomeness.

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