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| Dumbledore's
Army |
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Review(s): 64
| Reviewer: stubefied | Date: 2007-01-14 |
| Reviewid: 146856 | Chapter: 1 |
That was very creepy. The tone was just right, especially chilling at the end.
"Its voice rustled in his mind like dead leaves. 'You shouldn't have told.'"
*shivers*
The characterisation of Neville I was a little iffy on. His voice telling the story is real and haunting, but I feel like he would be stupid-brave enough to have tried to take on the monster originally, but not stupid enough to have finally told on the one day it could get him. However, I know this was written a while ago, before he'd been characterized as much, and it does make the story work perfectly. |
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| Reviewer: MadHatterLovesGinny | Date: 2006-06-27 |
| Reviewid: 143771 | Chapter: 1 |
| Wow. That was the second time I read the story. The first, I couldn't have a restful night's sleep. It's an amazing story. How did you come up with that idea? Great job! |
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| Reviewer: Kay | Date: 2006-01-17 |
| Reviewid: 138651 | Chapter: 1 |
| O! That is SO creepy. Very good, although Neville seemed a little out of character with his story-telling. I liked it very much. |
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| Reviewer: Adriana | Date: 2005-09-24 |
| Reviewid: 133159 | Chapter: 1 |
| Omg. Wow, that's a great story, but it freaked me out past my wits, espesially since I'm easilly scared. Anyway, it was a great story. |
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| Reviewer: REI | Date: 2004-07-29 |
| Reviewid: 94639 | Chapter: 1 |
OMG
that is scary
write more
what happens
does harry save the day ,again?
personaly
i think Ron or Hermione needs to show off their stuff and do some serious @$$ kicking!!!!!!!!!
but thats just me :)
*REI* |
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| Reviewer: Deidre | Date: 2004-04-26 |
| Reviewid: 80307 | Chapter: 1 |
Wow! That was soo weird! But I loved it all the same! Keep up the good work! I love all of your peices!
toodles yo~
Deidre |
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| Reviewer: Artemis | Date: 2004-02-08 |
| Reviewid: 69946 | Chapter: 1 |
Oh...my...dear...gosh. What a story? That thing - what imagery. Holy moly, this is an amazing story. I've never been this frightened. Poor, poor, Neville. I can only hope that he didn't get swallowed by that thing...maybe he managed to run and get help.
Ahh, this was fantastic. Brilliant, keep up the good work. |
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| Reviewer: DTTW | Date: 2004-02-08 |
| Reviewid: 69902 | Chapter: 1 |
| woah. this is really, really freaky. It totally creeped me out. Scary. Eerie. one of those other words that mean the same thing. This is just completely, totally scary. |
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| Reviewer: Midnight_White2000 | Date: 2004-02-07 |
| Reviewid: 69862 | Chapter: 1 |
| That was really, really freaky and cool. I've read it already about five times, and I still get freaked out. Very cool and original. You know, that would make a great horror movie... |
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| Reviewer: Sanction to GREMLIN | Date: 2003-06-09 |
| Reviewid: 36031 | Chapter: 1 |
| The mujina is an actual creature of Japanese folklore, but I took a lot of liberties with it--like bringing it to England and such. I wrote a whole description in the fantastic beasts thread in the Pensieve. You can check it out if you're interested. |
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| Reviewer: GREMLIN | Date: 2003-06-07 |
| Reviewid: 35709 | Chapter: 1 |
| I knew it would happen and it was still creepy! Great job with that! Is the creature made up by you, or a real myth (what an oxymoron: real myth)? Lesson to be learned about promises with evil beings: always keep your promise. |
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| Reviewer: Wynne | Date: 2003-04-26 |
| Reviewid: 29647 | Chapter: 1 |
| *yelp* This was SCARY! It's very, very Neville... yet so ominous... and you really do a good job of telling a ghost story. I'm so jaded to them, but I still got the shivers from this. |
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| Reviewer: Talking Purple Rabbits | Date: 2003-03-23 |
| Reviewid: 24948 | Chapter: 1 |
Aaaaaiiii!!!!
I've read this before, but it doesn't stop from giving me those chills....ugh...
<brilliant, bloody brilliant>
~TPR |
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| Reviewer: kayjal | Date: 2003-03-21 |
| Reviewid: 24792 | Chapter: 1 |
ewwwwww this was freaky. way way too scary
wow. you are way too good...eughhzz.
*chills run down my spine* its um...*gossebumps break out* nice i guess |
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| Reviewer: Rockap | Date: 2003-03-10 |
| Reviewid: 23483 | Chapter: 1 |
| *Shiver* Man, that was VERY scary. This is a great scary story. I'm still kind of shivering in the dark in front of my computer. *It probably wasn't such a smart thing to read this in the dark...* Anyways, it was a great story. VERY SCARY! |
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| Reviewer: chaka | Date: 2003-02-17 |
| Reviewid: 20673 | Chapter: 1 |
| Really good. I was reading in huge anticipation of what would happen next and the end made me, well, gasp. Really brilliant. Lovely portraited Neville, on the top of it all. After reading this I think I'll read more scary HP fanfiction. :] |
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| Reviewer: Valentina Black | Date: 2003-02-05 |
| Reviewid: 19074 | Chapter: 1 |
Woa. That was soooo creepy. Hell, I've got trouble breeding now. That was extreme. I am sooooo not going to go to sleep tonight. Perfect story.
VB |
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| Reviewer: Aristyar | Date: 2003-02-05 |
| Reviewid: 19051 | Chapter: 1 |
UGH and ARGH and WOW. I keep glancing behind my back and staring at people's faces now...
*shiver*
That was brilliant. And very, very scary.
~Aristyar |
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| Reviewer: Kee | Date: 2003-01-13 |
| Reviewid: 16088 | Chapter: 1 |
| Really really good. I couldn't help thinking though, it might even work better in an original setting. Maybe it's just that I don't like seeing bad things happen to Neville though. |
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| Reviewer: Lee | Date: 2002-12-21 |
| Reviewid: 13564 | Chapter: 1 |
| OK, this sent major chills up my back, especially the part where Timothy goes over to the little girl and she has no face, that really freaked me out. The part where you're describing where they meetthe creature, the bend in the lake with the rock and the yew tree..perfect use of small details achieving a major effect. Great work! |
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| Reviewer: Circe | Date: 2002-11-21 |
| Reviewid: 9732 | Chapter: 1 |
| Sanction, I can't believe I haven't reviewed this yet! It's an old-fashioned creep fest and you handle it brilliantly. The 'monster in the dark' is scary enough and you really give us the feeling that Neville is terrified as he recounts his tale. Having *Seamus* (and he's very in character, I think) do what he does is the final freak-out factor. I didn't look into shadowy corners for days, thanks very much. |
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| Reviewer: Sam | Date: 2002-11-10 |
| Reviewid: 8624 | Chapter: 1 |
| That is NOT COOL. I'm going to have nightmares tonight! <shiver> I have this very clear image in my head of two faces sticking together like gum, and it's scary stuff. >< |
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| Reviewer: Jaime | Date: 2002-11-05 |
| Reviewid: 8215 | Chapter: 1 |
Ok, that was seriously creepy. It definitely deserved the award it got. O_o Whoa. I can't stop shivering now. Eek.
Superb. ;) |
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| Reviewer: Sweeney Agonistes | Date: 2002-11-01 |
| Reviewid: 7777 | Chapter: 1 |
| Eeps! This was SCARY -- not a good thing to read tonight! Now I'm all freaked out...*excellent* job. |
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| Reviewer: Jenni Snake | Date: 2002-10-30 |
| Reviewid: 7627 | Chapter: 1 |
| What can I say except that I absolutely loved it! Scared me completely out of my mind, and that was in braod daylight! I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight or tomorrow night - thank you, it's an amazing story for Halloween! |
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| Reviewer: Lauryn | Date: 2002-10-30 |
| Reviewid: 7604 | Chapter: 1 |
Perhaps I should elaborate...
Bloody wonderful! Made me nearly crap myself...It's great, though...
I loved the begining, when he's telling the story. It seems like he was talking to me...like a monolouge or soemthing.
Really good. Really really good. |
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| Reviewer: Lauryn | Date: 2002-10-30 |
| Reviewid: 7602 | Chapter: 1 |
| AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But...but...but! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| Reviewer: Megan | Date: 2002-10-30 |
| Reviewid: 7591 | Chapter: 1 |
FREAKY! I absolutely loved the ending:
“Let this be a lesson to you, Neville,” said Seamus from behind him.
“I know. I’ll remember to—“
“—Always keep my promises.”
AWESOME! |
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| Reviewer: Miss Pince | Date: 2002-10-29 |
| Reviewid: 7565 | Chapter: 1 |
That was scary! REALLY scary!!!
Your style is excellent. Despite the the scaryness it was a pure pleasure to read. |
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| Reviewer: Sanction | Date: 2002-10-29 |
| Reviewid: 7538 | Chapter: 1 |
Hi everyone! Thanks for reading 'Secret Game'. You know, in all the excitement (ahem!) of cutting down this story from its original 2,600 word length, I quite forgot to add some kind of disclaimer or author's notes at the beginning. Since I can't really do anything about that now that the story's out, I'll post it here instead:
"Author's foreword: Aside from the usual fanfiction disclaimers, I wish to add that all those who have selected this story expecting to read about dancing bears, please click on your browser's back button now. Thank you."
Happy Halloween everyone! |
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| Reviewer: Poppy P | Date: 2002-10-29 |
| Reviewid: 7526 | Chapter: 1 |
| That scared the poopoo out of Poppy! That was very gasp worthy. Poor, poor Neville. I think the fact that it was Seamus made it even more scary somehow. Great job! |
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| Reviewer: Cynthia | Date: 2002-10-29 |
| Reviewid: 7523 | Chapter: 1 |
| Uhh...uh...uh...I'm so freakishly scared I don't think I'll talk to anyone on Halloween! |
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| Reviewer: Anna | Date: 2002-10-29 |
| Reviewid: 7486 | Chapter: 1 |
| Oh. My. God. That has to be the creepiest story I've read. Definitely a scary Hallowe'en. I got goosebumps reading it. And the end! This was evocative, original, and fantastic! Well done! |
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| Reviewer: Queen of the Tinfoil Fish | Date: 2002-10-29 |
| Reviewid: 7470 | Chapter: 1 |
That was so creepy! And so very wonderful. A warning to anyone that cares to listen: never read this after having six cups of coffee on a dark night.
Anyroad. The ending was wonderful! :) The description of the transformation was so...well, for lack of a better word, wonderful! I could really see it!
I'm going to be looking over my shoulder for a long time now...grr. |
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| Reviewer: Elizabeth | Date: 2002-10-28 |
| Reviewid: 7464 | Chapter: 1 |
| Holy crap! Here I skipped the story that is "the scariest story ever posted on the SQ" and read yours instead - and still get scared silly! Holy freakin' crap! I am covered in goosebumps. I don't think I'll ever trust anyone again on Halloween. Very nice work. :-) ::shivers:: |
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| Reviewer: Seldes Katne | Date: 2002-10-28 |
| Reviewid: 7450 | Chapter: 1 |
Very simple, straightforward, and scary! You set up the mood of the piece very effectively; even though I could guess at the end, I still felt a shiver after the final sentence. The "mujina" is an unfamiliar creature to me, so in addition to reading an excellent story, I also learned something.
But I'm glad I read this during daylight hours.... Brr! |
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| Reviewer: Katinka | Date: 2002-10-28 |
| Reviewid: 7405 | Chapter: 1 |
AAAAAARGGHH!!!
Holy crap, that was scary! I'm very glad I read this in the afternoon, as opposed to right before going to bed. I think I'm going to be seeing that faceless image anyway -- eep! ;) |
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| Reviewer: Booklovr | Date: 2002-10-28 |
| Reviewid: 7401 | Chapter: 1 |
AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!! OMG that was SO SCARY!!!!! Poor Neville! OMGOMGOMG! *Hyperventilates and flops over*
By the way, whoa. Good.
~Booklovr |
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| Reviewer: Jennlee | Date: 2002-10-28 |
| Reviewid: 7287 | Chapter: 1 |
| Yikes - this was very intense - and scary/creepy like a Halloween story should be. Good job. |
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| Reviewer: Aly Teima | Date: 2002-10-27 |
| Reviewid: 7243 | Chapter: 1 |
Ooooohhh, creepy, so creepy. I love your writing, but that gave me goosepimples. Reminds me of that awful moment in "Saving Private Ryan" *shudders sincerely*
Excellent job, please update "Phoenix and the Serpent soon!" Pretty please?
-Aly |
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