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OF THE THIRD SUGAR QUILL SUMMIT
the Third Annual SugarQuill Summit dedicated to H/Hrs
and H/Drs, our worthy opponents in the Battle of the Relationships and able cohorts in
the enjoyment of all things Harry Potter
recorded by Moey)
DATE:03/30/01 - 04/01/01
PLACE: SQ HEADQUATERS (SQHQ) IN AN UNDISCLOSED,
UNPLOTTABLE LOCATION ON THE EASTERN SEABORD
PURSER ON THE GOOD SHIP R/H
SPECIAL GUEST STAR ON THE GOOD SHIP R/H
CAPTAIN OF THE GOOD SHIP R/H
B BENNETTPROFESSOR, GOOD
SHIP R/H GOODWILL AMBASSADOR
FIRST MATE OF THE GOOD SHIP R/H
When we last left our Heroines………
Elanor Gamgee had just set off her new
invention - a Giggle Grenade. The smoke began to clear and the laughter subside; that is the laughter from those of wizarding blood.
The Muggle men and woman that had so blatantly crashed the party were still laying on the floor gasping between guffaws.
"Who let the Muggles in? Why would
you let the Muggles in?" Moey glared at Zsenya.
"Damn you, Moey! Damn you for being
so right!" Zsenya proclaimed.
"And smart!" Elanor Gamgee
"And funny!" Arabella shouted.
"And sexy!" exclaimed Absolutely
"Well then, let's get rid of this
lot, shall we?" Grinning Ron said, glancing at his brothers and Harry.
mate," Harry deferred to his best, non-traitorous friend.
"Why thank you." Thankful Ron
quickly pointed his wand at the tall, brown haired bloke that thought
mispronouncing names was oh-so funny.
The Muggle disappeared and Ron blew on his
wand. "You next," said Muggle-removing Ron to Harry. Harry aimed his
wand at the pleasant girl with blonde curls and *poof* she was gone.
"Dude! Thank heavens!" exclaimed Arabella.
"I was afraid that people would think I was a lesbian. Not that there's
anything wrong with that…"
"Of course not," George and Fred
chimed in together as they pointed their wands at two of the three remaining
Muggle boys left.
The one with the guitar shouted,
"Make sure you drop me at my gig!" as he vanished. The remaining boy
requested to be placed in front of the computer that would no longer be
occupied by Elanor, who stayed up until finishing her story. His last words were
heard as "…videos and cigarettes at the 7-11!"
"Bye! Tee hee
tee hee," Elanor giggled at the disappearing
There was one boy left. "Who's
he?" asked Questioning Ron. Harry shrugged and together they pointed their
wands and removed him from the bar.
"That was B's brother. Hey, what
happened to B?" Moey asked looking around the room. "She was with the
one that had the ponytail and fang earring." Fred, George, Ron and Harry
all exchanged glances, stifling laughter.
"You know what I think-" Harry
"Oh, who cares what you think!"
Elanor Gamgee shouted vehemently.
"Hey, I still haven't showered,"
said Unshowered Ron. "Any of you ladies care to
join me in a bath? Although it would be nothing new to me, because apparently I
do this sort of thing all the time you know."
"You do what all the time?" Moey
"Have baths with beautiful
women," replied Out-of-Character Ron. "It helps to wash off all the
chocolate syrup and whipped cream."
Just then there were three *pops* and B,
Bill and a yet unidentified redhead suddenly reappeared in the bar. Bill was
wearing nothing but his fang earring and a loincloth. "Where have you
been? We've been so worried!" shouted Zsenya. "And who is this?"
Zsenya was staring at the new boy, who was also only wearing a loincloth.
"I was busy," said B. "Bill
really needed to be removed from his pants. This is another Weasley brother,
Charlie. Charlie works with Dragons." B was looking at Charlie admiringly.
"Check out his kewl dragon tattoo." Charlie
had a tattoo of a Welsh Green. He was able to make thin jets of fire shoot out
of it's snout. The tattoo was barely visible beyond
the edge of his loincloth. "Doesn't it Rox?"
B asked. The girls all nodded in agreement.
"I see that and I'm
liking it." Arabella was staring at Bill. "I say we remove the
remaining boys from their pants as well. Shall we ladies?" Immediately the
boys' clothes were exchanged for the Good Ship's official uniform.
"Hot redheads in
loincloths.Woohoo!." Elanor exclaimed,
surveying the men. She had another sip of her Gred
and Forge and that was it. She was now officially drunk. .
"You know, Elanor, you may find Harry
boring, but the two of you have a lot in common," Moey said. Harry could
barely stand and was looking down at his uniform with glazed eyes. "Both
of you are total lightweights!"
"My First Mate is turning on
me!" Elanor slurred. Arabella gave Moey a high five.
"Is there an owl-post door in this
place?" Zsenya asked, surveying the room. "I want to check my
"She just wants to see if Doctor
Cornelius is back in town," Arabella laughed. "She wants to flirt
"No!" Zsenya said. "I want
to check on SQHQ."
"Yes," Elanor Gamgee said,
attempting to stand up and failing miserably. "We must find out what my
Arch Nemesis Captain of the Cruiseliner H/H is
doing!" *grins at Captain Penny*
"All this talk about arch enemies is
making me thirsty," Thirsty Ron said. "George, how about some more Butterbeers?"
up!" George replied,
stepping over to the bar. He and Fred began pouring the Butterbeers
while the ladies looked longingly at the loincloths. It had become very quiet
as the girls were engrossed in what seemed to be the beginnings of Potter Porn
when two *pops* broke the silence. A tall man with dark hair and a slightly
shorter, more distinguished man with flecks of grey
in his hair appeared.
The loincloth laden boys exclaimed.
"This calls for a round, I'd
say!" Fred started pouring tequila for everyone. "Two Fingers - your
favorite!" he said as he sent Sirius' and Remus' glasses flying toward
Zsenya and Moey had been occupying
themselves over near the wizard jukebox. After conspiring for a moment they
turned as a song began to play.
"How can I just let you walk away?
Just let you leave without a trace?" they sang.
"Oh Sirius, it's our song,"
Remus said taking his friend by the hand and looking into his dark, murky pools
of unrest. Moey and Zsenya began to cry.
"You're the only one that really knew
me at all," Moey and Zsenya were still singing between tears. "Take a
look at me now, there's just an empty space. There's nothing left here to
remind me, just the memory of your face…"
When the song ended, Still Unshowered Ron proclaimed, "Let's put something on
that's a bit more cheerful." With a wave of his wand, REO Speedwagon began blaring through the room. Everyone began
to dance, in a 1980's Breakfast Club fashion to "I Can't Fight This
Feeling". Everyone except for B.
"B, don't you want to dance?"
"No but you can," she smiled.
"Is that your hand on my butt?"
"It sure is! Now dance." B then
turned to Charlie, "You too, Dragon-boy!"
Since Harry was too drunk to dance,
Arabella went over to look at Charlie's tattoo. "Where can we get one of
those around here?" she asked. The rest of the girls listened intently.
They were all very keen on getting tattooed after their T-shirts had turned out
"It's been outlawed in this
village," Charlie replied. "It's an hour's broomstick ride to the
next town with a wizarding tattoo artist."
The girls were disappointed but decided
they could wait. They started dancing again to Air Supply's "Making Love
Out of Nothing at All."
When they were finished dancing, Even Sweatier
Ron once again put his suggestion out there. "You girls really should join
us for that bath."
"Oh yeah!" said Harry, barely
able to pick his head up off the table. The rest of the boys looked eagerly at
"We have Sugarquills…."
Tempting Ron said in a singsong voice.
The girls all looked at one another when
suddenly an owl came racing in through the window,
dropping a roll of parchment into Zsenya's lap.
"What is it?" asked B with an
anxious look on her face.
"Is it urgent?" Arabella questioned,
still staring at the boys.
Zsenya held a look of horror on her face.
"It can't be!" exclaimed Moey.
"Please tell me they didn't!"
shouted Elanor Gamgee.
Zsenya looked up at her friends.
"It's happened. It's what we have feared."
As she said those words, horrified looks
spread across each and every one of the SQ girls' faces. There was an intake of
breath from the group as she said these next words…
"An H/H spy has infiltrated the Sugar
To Be Continued…..
will happen next? Will the SQ Gals catch the H/H spy? Will they secure SQHQ?
Will Harry sober up? Will Sweaty Ron ever
get to take his bath? Will the SQ Gals get their tattoos? Join us in six weeks
to find out! Same SQ time; same SQ channel.
The Sugar Quill was created by Zsenya and Arabella. For
questions, please send us an Owl!
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