Author's Note: This is the third installment in my ‘-ing Series’. The
first one is Leaning, which I submitted to the First Annual SQ
Tournament, and the second is Thinking. When I decided to write this, I
didn’t intend to make it a piece of sugary and fluff, but it ended that way.
So, be prepared! :)
Thanks Lallybroch for the beta!
the weeks following Hermione’s birthday she and Ron regularly disappeared for a
few minutes between classes or for hours after classes and during weekends.
They weren’t always found in the library when they disappeared; and even when
they were there, they weren’t always studying.
happiness stamped in their faces was what stood out the most. They looked
was thrilled that her brother and Hermione had finally admitted their feelings
for each other, which had been pretty obvious to her and all Gryffindor Tower
for quite some time. They were made for each other. They were perfect together.
as Ginny watched her brother and his girlfriend studying together, she felt sad
because she knew that she might never get a relationship like that with Harry.
sighed and tried to remember how everything had begun.
since the Triwizard Tournament, Harry had closed himself even more than he
already was. Or at least he had tried to; Ron and Hermione had prevented him
from isolating himself completely. And once the twins had graduated, leaving
Ron as the only brother Ginny had with her at Hogwarts, Ginny had become part
of their small circle of friends, and helped keep Harry away from his island.
first Harry had continued treating her as Ron’s younger sister, like he had
done since the first time they met, but gradually, they had become friends.
and Hermione’s feelings for each other and Ron’s cluelessness about them
provided highly entertaining moments for everyone around them; Harry and Ginny
had shared many amused glances because of them. It was something that only the
two of them in the group shared. Ginny still remembered the first funny remark
she had made about her brother and Hermione, which had caused Harry to smirk on
a particularly quiet day of his.
just as they were getting closer, Harry started to drift away from Ginny again.
At first she thought it was because of all the time he had to spend with
Quidditch practices and homework, but eventually she came to the conclusion
that there was more to it than that. Harry was behaving like he was avoiding
her. Around that time, she started noticing that Harry blushed and stuttered
whenever he went near her, just like he used to when he was close to Cho Chang.
Or just like Ginny used to when she was younger and actually sent Harry a
dreadful Valentine poem and one year later a Get Well card.
first, Ginny had disregarded that as a something out of her imagination, or
perhaps she was just hallucinating. After all, she still cared deeply for
Harry, even though he had never ever encouraged her to, and therefore she
wasn’t sure about all of it. But time and time again Harry’s actions repeated
them; Ginny had caught Harry looking at her with dazzled eyes often enough.
Ginny had questioned Harry’s strange behavior, and had done so in more than one
occasion. At first, she had been evasive, and Harry always managed to find a
way around her questions. Eventually Ginny had begun to be quite incisive about
her questions, but he still managed to escape her.
that Friday night when Hermione was at the library studying and Ron was serving
Detention with Snape.
could no longer keep wondering about Harry and his feelings towards her, or she
would become insane. It was one thing to dream about Harry without any kind of
hope, knowing that her dream was bound to remain a dream, but with his
confusing actions giving her a small thread of hope… She had to know if her
dream could become true.
have I developed horns or something?"
looked up from his Transfiguration homework startled. "What?"
heard me. Have I developed horns? Because that’s the only explanation I could
come up with to why you have been acting so strange towards me for a while now.
I mean, what other reason would you have to keep staring at me and blushing
every time I catch you gapping at me but a gruesome physical defect?"
blushed deeply. He looked like he wanted to run from the common room, like he
had in so many occasions when questioned by Ginny, but this time she had
ambushed him. Ginny had situated herself between him and the two possible exits
he had: the Fat Lady’s portrait and the staircase that led to the boys’
looked at her for a moment, uncertain, and finally answered in a whisper.
can’t tell you."
Why can’t you tell me? I know I’m not Ron or Hermione, but I *think* I have the
right to know, since it concerns me. And don’t you dare lie to me," she
said, in an unusual display of anger for her.
please…don’t ask me this…I can’t…"
I want to know. It’s been driving me crazy for weeks now, and if I don’t find
out what it is, I think I will actually become insane and have to be sent to
was hoping to lighten the mood, but Harry’s face only darkened more.
sat down across from him and whispered. "Harry, I’m sorry. I think joking
about whatever this is about wasn’t the smartest thing to do. But I need to
know why you’re acting so strangely near me. Or will I have to accidentally
spill some Veritaserum in your pumpkin juice one of these days?"
looked at her, his eyes a mixture of feelings Ginny couldn’t begin to decipher.
"I...I have never felt this way about anyone before, not even Cho."
He blushed at his unwillingly confession. "I mean, I’m sure that I’ve
never felt this way about anyone else before. Ginny, I…I…I think I’m in love
was speechless for a moment. She didn’t know what to think or feel. She had
considered this possibility, sure, but she had credited it, at least partly, to
her feelings for Harry. Hearing him admitting those feelings, however, just
made it sound even more unbelievable. She whispered in what she hoped would
sound like a controlled voice, but ended up broken and embarged by tears
threatening to fall. "It’s not funny to play with people’s feelings,
Harry. You know how I feel about you, you’ve known since my first year, but you
don’t need to throw it at my face just for fun."
moment Harry looked like he would reach out for her hand, or say something, anything,
but he didn’t. The solemn look on his face was the only thing keeping Ginny
from yelling at him. She couldn’t believe him; he wasn’t telling her the truth.
if this is true, why haven’t you told me so before now?" she asked, her
chin high up in defiance and disbelief. It was also a good way to keep the
tears at the corner of her eyes from falling down her cheeks.
mouth hung open. What the hell...? "I don’t get it…"
my mum died trying to protect me. Cedric died just because he was with me. I
don’t want Voldemort to try and succeed in killing you just because he found
out how important you are to me." Harry said all this in a rush, as if he
was pushing the words out of his mouth despite any fear he could be feeling.
was so stumped that she didn’t pose any obstacle to Harry when he got up and
left for his bedroom. He left Ginny behind to deal with all the thoughts
running through her head, and the warm and fuzzy feeling that had spread all
loved her. Harry loved her. Harry loved her.
stayed the whole night awake, not even bothering to go up to her bedroom. She
needed to sort out her thoughts.
Harry came back downstairs the following day, much earlier than any Gryffindor student
with nothing to worry about would on a Saturday morning, he found Ginny in the
exact spot he had left her.
he asked tentatively. "Did you stay here all night?"
looked up at him, and by the terrible look on his face she knew he must have
spent the whole night awake as well.
got up and approached Harry, never taking her eyes off his. He just stood
there, as if mystified by her fierce look. Ginny had reached a decision. Not an
easy one, but the only that felt right.
she got right in front of Harry, she quickly got hold of his cheeks in her
hands and kissed him. She felt more than heard a muffled cry against her lips,
but it was not long before she felt his hands tentatively being placed on her
she opened her eyes, she saw that Harry had his still closed. He opened his
eyes after a moment, and Ginny saw happiness in them. But intermingled with
that feeling, she could also see a deep sorrow.
what’s wrong?" she whispered.
we can’t be together," he whispered back.
not? If this is because of Voldemort, like you said, you’re being stupid. I can
deal with him. I’ve dealt with him, and on my own, for a year. Ok, I almost
died at the end of that year, but I'm older now. More experienced. Ready to face
him if I have to. You can’t push me away for my own safety. I won’t let you.
And if you thought that I wouldn’t notice the changes in your behavior towards
me, you underestimated me. Now I know the reason for that, and you can't just
push me away." She had said all that really quickly, before Harry could
interrupt her to point out that Tom Riddle was a far cry from Lord Voldemort,
and that she had only survived because Harry had saved her from the Chamber.
couldn't help but smile at this reminiscence. The fact that she had always
being a very talkative girl had granted her the capacity to give a speech
without any need to pause for air. The years of putting up with her brother's
teasing had finally paid off, it seemed.
had looked at her for what seemed like eternity. Ginny could see the silent
battle going on inside his head through his eyes, but didn't know which side
he spoke up. "What if, instead of pushing you away, I ask you to
stay away from me?" Ginny opened her mouth to argue but Harry interrupter
her. "If I defeat Voldemort, then…"
if you don’t? We will never be together!" Ginny almost yelled at Harry.
if we get together and I die..."
pained look on Harry's face softened Ginny's voice. "Better to suffer from
something lost than to suffer from something I never had."
what if he tries to hurt, or worse, kill you?" Harry said that almost in a
whisper, the little color that he had on his face vanishing.
felt tears streaking down her face; Harry’s pain and hers were too much to
bear. She wiped angrily at her eyes with her hands, took a deep breath, and
spoke in a very controlled voice. "It’s my life; therefore I decide
how I want to live it, or if I’m willingly to risk dying. It would ruin my life
not to be with you."
you would still have a life to be ruined." Harry cupped her cheeks with
his hands, and ran his thumbs over the tears that stubbornly kept coming.
better to love and die than to never have loved. I don’t want my life without
love in it. It wouldn’t be worth living." She had finally stopped crying.
are other men in the world..."
you are the only one I want."
looked at each other for a moment, the full realization of what had transpired between
them just out of their grasp. Never before Ginny had felt so grown up, so
mature. And it was time to share with Harry the idea she had had during the
night. "We could keep it a secret. No one needs to know about us."
Almost as in an afterthought, Ginny added, "And that will also come in
handy in order to avoid my brothers teasing."
had to laugh at Ginny's reasoning, but he quickly turned serious once again. He
dipped his head towards hers, and their lips met again.
was jerked out of her reverie, back to the present.
Are you all right?"
smiled. "Yes, Harry, I’m fine." She looked at Ron and Hermione, by
now finished with their studies and snuggled up together on the other side of
the room. "I was just... thinking."
for her hand under the table where they were still studying, and squeezed it
lightly. "Don’t worry, Ginny. Someday. Perhaps not soon, but someday. I
won’t let Voldemort take that away from us. He has taken too much
smiled at Harry. "We, Harry. We won’t let him."
smiled back at her, his eyes glinting with love and, for the first time that
Ginny could ever remember since they had met, hope. Hope for a future after
Voldemort. A future with her.