Romania (or "I am Charlie!")

A filk by Lilac to the tune of America from West Side Story

(Click on the song title for a midi link to help you sing along!)

CHARLIE:
I am Charlie, an older Weasley
And you can tell I'm not measly.
Since I work with dangerous dragons,
I'm muscular and buff and handsome,
Brave and smart and kind some.
Modesty notwithstanding,
I'm a piece of eye candy.
I'm playing with fire lit'rally.
Don't forget me, I am Charlie!

My life is hot in Romania,
Dragons I've caught in Romania.
Got burned a lot in Romania,
Norbert I've got in Romania.

A Gryffindor Seeker was I
Following Snitches in the sky.
Now I follow dragons for fun.
(Snitch ain't got nothing on dragons!)

My life is great in Romania,
Keep dragons straight in Romania.
Burn salve can wait in Romania,
Scars I don't hate in Romania.

Don't like to go to the Burrow
'Cause Mum's brow at me will furrow.
She fusses all over my burns,
Saying her stomach it will churn.

It's dangerous in Romania.
I'm courageous in Romania,
And flirtatious in Romania,
With death, of course, in Romania.

I've handled Norwegian Ridgebacks, Common Welsh Greens,
Hebridian Blacks every day, people!
And when you hear the Welsh Greens go, "Roar, Roar, Roar!"
Better get out of the way, people!

There's also Hungarian Horntails, Swedish Short Snouts,
Peruvian Vipertooths, people!
And when I'm getting scorched I go "Hee, Hee, Hee!"
That is why my name is "CHAR"-lie!

Marry some day in Romania?
Well, who can say, in Romania?
She'll have to stay in Romania,
With dragons play in Romania.

When all of us gather at home,
Outside St. Ottery Catchpole,
We rid the garden of brown gnomes
By tossing, 50 feet's the goal.

I'm living free in Romania.
All right by me in Romania.
Safe as can be in Romania?
No guarantees in Romania.

My brother Bill and I help set up tables
By floating them up in the air, people!
And when they collide hard we laugh, "Ha, Ha, Ha!"
Then fix the leg in a flash, people!

I'm older than Percy, the twins Fred and George,
Then comes Ronald and finally Virginia..
We have fun saying phrases like, "Oi, Oi, Oi!"
Big families can be such fun, people!

Miss them when I'm in Romania.
To them I'll write from Romania.
Send Fred and George to Romania?
Not in your life in Romania!

Went to Hogwarts for the first task.
Brought dragons four (What kinds?)-- Don't ask.
Mommies with eggs, they are restless.
How get egg? Anyone's guess is.

War I might fight in Romania.
Dragons in flight in Romania.
Don't get uptight in Romania.
Not scared of heights in Romania.

So that's the end in Romania.
Time we've well spent in Romania.
Hope we are friends in Romania.
Goodbye, THE END in Romania!

(A/N: I know that the Weasley's live by Ottery St. Catchpole, not St. Ottery Catchpole, but the latter fit in the cadence of the song better...just so's ya don't think I'm ignorant about my favorite fictional family. A big thanks to Catherine and Ara Kane for their kind words and encouragement. Please review to let me know what you think!)