The Sugar Quill
Author: Lilac  Story: If We Had a Million Galleons  Chapter: default
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If We Had A Million Galleons

to the tune If I Had a Million Dollars by the Barenaked Ladies (click here for a midi link)

(A/N: Okay, this song is very weird, but it is not any more weird than the original. It is also very repetitive. I highly suggest you listen to the original to fully appreciate -- or at the very least, understand -- some of the humor of this filk. It was really funny to me at 1 a.m...)

FRED: If we had a million galleons
GEORGE: If we had a million galleons
FRED: We'd make lots of fake wands
GEORGE: Fake wands that squawk and turn into chickens

FRED: If we had a million galleons
GEORGE: If we had a million galleons
FRED: We'd make ton-tongue toffees
GEORGE: And send a few to dear old Dudley

FRED: If we had a million galleons
GEORGE: If we had a million galleons
FRED: We'd buy Dad a new car
GEORGE: A nice Muggle automobile
FRED: If we had a million galleons
BOTH: We'd build our store!

FRED: If we had a million galleons
GEORGE: We could make-up business cards
FRED: If we had a million galleons
GEORGE: Lee could help -- it wouldn't be that hard
FRED: If we had a million galleons
GEORGE: Maybe we could put a little tiny spell on the cards...

(BOTH SPEAKING)
FRED: Yeah, like it would stick to their fingers and wouldn't come off until they came to the store...
GEORGE: ...yeah, then we'd take the card off after they bought at least three things!
FRED: Hey, some people may not like that!
GEORGE: Well, can you blame them?
FRED: Well... yeah!

(SINGING AGAIN)
FRED: If we had a million galleons
GEORGE: If we had a million galleons
FRED: We'd buy Ron new dress robes
GEORGE: But not dress robes with lace, that's cruel

FRED: If we had a million galleons
GEORGE: If we had a million galleons
FRED: We'd buy a magical pet
GEORGE: Yup, like a Phoenix or a Billywig

FRED: If we had a million galleons
GEORGE: If we had a million galleons
FRED: We'd make loads of canary creams
GEORGE: Oooh, all them crazy feathers everywhere!
FRED: If we had a million galleons
BOTH: We'd start our store!

FRED: If we had a million galleons
GEORGE: We wouldn't have to floo to our store
FRED: If we had a million galleons
GEORGE: We'd fly on Firebolts 'cause they cost more
FRED: If we had a million galleons
GEORGE: We wouldn't have to eat Mum's dinners

(BOTH SPEAKING)
FRED: But we would eat Mum's dinners
GEORGE: Of course we would, we'd just buy her really expensive ingredients
FRED: Yeah, that's right, like all the fanciest wizard condiments
GEORGE: Mmmm....

(SINGING AGAIN)
FRED: If we had a million galleons
GEORGE: If we had a million galleons
FRED: We'd eat a ton of chocolate frogs
GEORGE: But not eat real live frogs, that's cruel

FRED: If we had a million galleons
GEORGE: If we had a million galleons
FRED: We'd make our own bombs
GEORGE: Yeah, like dung-, letter- or cherry-

FRED: If we had a million galleons
GEORGE: If we had a million galleons
FRED: We could buy Dobby the house-elf
GEORGE: Haven't you always wanted a house-elf!
FRED: If we had a million galleons
BOTH: We'd own our store!

FRED: If we had a million galleons
GEORGE: If we had a million galleons
(repeat 2 more times)
BOTH: We'd be rich!

//
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