**If We Had A Million Galleons**
to the tune __If I Had a Million Dollars__ by the Barenaked Ladies (click here for a midi link)

(A/N: Okay, this song is very weird, but it is not any more weird than the original. It is also very repetitive. I highly suggest you listen to the original to fully appreciate -- or at the very least, understand -- some of the humor of this filk. It was really funny to me at 1 a.m...)

FRED: If we had a million galleons

GEORGE: If we had a million galleons

FRED: We'd make lots of fake wands

GEORGE: Fake wands that squawk and turn into chickens

FRED: If we had a million galleons

GEORGE: If we had a million galleons

FRED: We'd make ton-tongue toffees

GEORGE: And send a few to dear old Dudley

FRED: If we had a million galleons

GEORGE: If we had a million galleons

FRED: We'd buy Dad a new car

GEORGE: A nice Muggle automobile

FRED: If we had a million galleons

BOTH: We'd build our store!

FRED: If we had a million galleons

GEORGE: We could make-up business cards

FRED: If we had a million galleons

GEORGE: Lee could help -- it wouldn't be that hard

FRED: If we had a million galleons

GEORGE: Maybe we could put a little tiny spell on the cards...

(BOTH SPEAKING)

FRED: Yeah, like it would stick to their fingers and wouldn't come off until they came to the store...

GEORGE: ...yeah, then we'd take the card off after they bought at least three things!

FRED: Hey, some people may not like that!

GEORGE: Well, can you blame them?

FRED: Well... yeah!

(SINGING AGAIN)

FRED: If we had a million galleons

GEORGE: If we had a million galleons

FRED: We'd buy Ron new dress robes

GEORGE: But not dress robes with lace, that's cruel

FRED: If we had a million galleons

GEORGE: If we had a million galleons

FRED: We'd buy a magical pet

GEORGE: Yup, like a Phoenix or a Billywig

FRED: If we had a million galleons

GEORGE: If we had a million galleons

FRED: We'd make loads of canary creams

GEORGE: Oooh, all them crazy feathers everywhere!

FRED: If we had a million galleons

BOTH: We'd start our store!

FRED: If we had a million galleons

GEORGE: We wouldn't have to floo to our store

FRED: If we had a million galleons

GEORGE: We'd fly on Firebolts 'cause they cost more

FRED: If we had a million galleons

GEORGE: We wouldn't have to eat Mum's dinners

(BOTH SPEAKING)

FRED: But we would eat Mum's dinners

GEORGE: Of course we would, we'd just buy her really expensive ingredients

FRED: Yeah, that's right, like all the fanciest wizard condiments

GEORGE: Mmmm....

(SINGING AGAIN)

FRED: If we had a million galleons

GEORGE: If we had a million galleons

FRED: We'd eat a ton of chocolate frogs

GEORGE: But not eat real live frogs, that's cruel

FRED: If we had a million galleons

GEORGE: If we had a million galleons

FRED: We'd make our own bombs

GEORGE: Yeah, like dung-, letter- or cherry-

FRED: If we had a million galleons

GEORGE: If we had a million galleons

FRED: We could buy Dobby the house-elf

GEORGE: Haven't you always wanted a house-elf!

FRED: If we had a million galleons

BOTH: We'd own our store!

FRED: If we had a million galleons

GEORGE: If we had a million galleons

(repeat 2 more times)

BOTH: We'd be rich!