The Sugar Quill
Author: Lilac  Story: Rich Death Eater's Son  Chapter: Default
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Rich Death Eater's Son

A filk by Lilac to the tune of Blister in the Sun by the Violent Femmes

(Click on the those underlines for links to that song so you can sing along!)

THE SCENE: Malfoy, with Crabbe and Goyle walking behind him, is strutting around the dungeons on his way to the Slytherin common room, acting like he owns the school. Malfoy is the lead singer (of course), Crabbe is on guitar, and Goyle is on the snare drum, which is strapped around his thick neck like he's a drummer in a marching band.

MALFOY:
When I'm a walking,
I strut my stuff
'Round these dungeon halls.
Girls on the stairs
Can't help but stare
'Cause I say with a drawl,

"Check me out, ladies!
I'm a rich Death Eater's son.
Check me out, ladies!
I'm one cool Slytherin."

Since I was one,
Dark Lord's been gone
But Dad's still a D.E.
Helps that we had
Such a nice pad and
Vaults with lots of money.

Outta my way,
I'm a rich Death Eater's son
Outta my way
Pure-bloods this school will run!

Musical interlude...Malfoy smirks at all of the Slytherin girls, making each of them swoon. Crabbe and Goyle get a chance to show off their musical "talent" -- the term "talent" being used loosely here -- on their respective instruments.

(Quietly singing to just Crabbe and Goyle)
Those stupid twins
Say with big grins
Potter's Slytherin's heir.
That's so untrue!
Wish that I knew
Who is really the heir.

(A little quieter)
Dad said to stay
out of his way,
Keep my bloody mouth shut.
But if I knew him,
Then I could help him
Get rid of wizard mutts.

(Whispering)
School's full of danger;
Hope that it's Granger
Next in line to get stoned.
Tut! What a shame
To see her name
Etched upon a tombstone!

They arrive at the common room door. Not wanting to wait behind the crowd of Slytherins slowly shuffling in, Malfoy shouts loudly...

Outta my way,
I'm a rich Death Eater's son!
Outta my way,
I'm one cool Slytherin!

Everyone moves to let them through first. Crabbe and Goyle continue to play while Malfoy struts his stuff for all he's worth all the way up to the Boys' 2nd year dorm room


[A/N: This is dedicated to the talented B. Nonymous (because, for some crazy reason, he really likes this song parody, and he asked me ever so nicely), and to the lovely Mrs. Nonymous, and their soon-to-be family of four! This filk was inspired by an interview with Daniel Radcliffe where he said that he was currently "into" old punk rock music. When I was in Jr. High and High School back in the day, the Femmes were considered a bit "punky". Oh, and sorry if this song doesn't portray Draco in a very kind light -- that was on purpose :-D. Hey...I calls them likes I sees them!]

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