The Sugar Quill
Author: Anione Graton  Story: Lay My Head Down  Chapter: Default
The distribution of this story is for personal use only. Any other form of distribution is prohibited without the consent of the author.

Lay My Head Down

A/N: Thanks to Seldes Katne for everything, and being my wonderful beta-reader! I can officially say it now: I’m free! I’m free! Just kidding, you’ve been great!

 

I love this song… and every time I hear it I get inspired. Only Hope by Mandy Moore is one of my all time favorite love songs. I had to make this a complete Ron and Hermione moment. I am the pathetic queen of R/Hness… but anyway, on with the story…

 

 

There’s a song that’s inside of my soul

It’s the one that I’ve tried

To write over and over again

 

Hermione Granger was laying on the bed in her Hogwarts dorm. She was troubled, which was something that didn’t happen to her very often. A red leather bound book sat in front of her, opened to the middle. Her new white quill pen was in her hand, the blue ink that came along with it at the ready.

 

She was ready to tell her journal everything. She was ready to write about her troubles.

 

She was going to fill this journal from front to back about one Mr. Ron Weasley. She had just ended a very vicious row with the redheaded boy in the common room. She was so disgusted that she couldn’t even watch him leave before she ran straight to her dorm.

 

But it wasn’t what they had said that truly bothered her. Oh, what he had said certainly bothered her, but that wasn’t really it.

 

It was the fact that he had looked at her in that cold, distant way. As if he didn’t know who she was. All she could manage to do was stare at him angrily and not hatefully. However Ron had a gift for giving the Look of Death when he was angry with someone. He had mainly used it on Malfoy, but he had shown it to her.

 

‘Troubled is not in Hermione Granger’s vocabulary, Journal…’

 

I’m awake in the infinite cold

But you sing to me over

And over and over again

 

“Insufferable. Demanding. Bossy. Opinionated. Stubborn. Ill tempered. Willful. Ruthless.”

 

But you forgot beautiful. Charming. Fiery. Wonderful.

 

Oi! Voice in my head! Concentrate on this History essay!

 

Ron Weasley worked diligently in the library, something he never expected to do. Although after getting into the unbelievable fight he had just had with Hermione, he couldn’t help it. Nothing else, no matter how hard he tried, would get his mind off of how angry he was with her. At this rate however, he was doomed to sit and think about it.

 

Setting his quill down, he stared at the notes he had scribbled on the page. They became a huge jumble of inkblots after a while.

 

He wasn’t angry with Hermione for saying the things she said. She was simply reacting in her best ‘Hermione’ way to his obvious ‘Ron’ statements. He could be so thickheaded sometimes.

 

No, he was truly angry for the way she had seemed to lose her resolve as the fight continued. She had dared to look into his eyes and lost all hope of being any stronger. Where had that wonderful spirit gone?

 

So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands

And pray to be only yours

I pray to be only yours

I know now you’re my only hope

 

He’s impossible!

 

I’ll never get through to her.

 

Hermione let the quill slip out of her fingers. Pushing the journal out of her way, she dropped her head down onto the soft sheets. She couldn’t let herself think about the way Ron was staring at her. She could still feel the cold pinprick in her heart. It hurt so much. To think that she had feelings for this person that went deeper than any friendship and he was so cruel as to give her the Look?

 

Ron shoved his books out of the way and buried his head in his arms on top of the table. What was he doing? He couldn’t hide from Hermione forever. He couldn’t hide from his heart. He liked her and he had for a long time. At this rate, they’d probably be getting married in their eighties.

 

Where had she gone? Had she finally decided it was time to give up, and in doing so, had lost her will to fight him. Apathy was the opposite of love. Was that it?

 

Sing to me the song of the stars

Of your galaxy dancing and

Laughing and laughing again

 

After finally lifting her head up, Hermione pulled herself into a sitting position. She wiped tears from her eyes before they had a chance to run down her cheeks. Why was she letting this get to her? Maybe it was the things she said.

 

“You’ll never amount to anything, Ronald Weasley, if you keep letting simple things distract you!”

 

“You’re throwing all your potential away for a bunch of garbage!”

 

“Why are you acting so foolish? You know what I’m saying is right!”

 

“With that attitude, you’ll never BE anything. EVER.”

 

Hermione’s eyes welled with tears. Oh, how wrong she was.

 

When it feels like my dreams are so far

Sing to me all the plans that

You have for me over again

 

Ron lifted his head up and rested his chin on his arms. His blue eyes clouded over as he thought about the events that had occurred only thirty minutes ago. He was so upset with Hermione. She was constantly nagging him about getting his schoolwork done or being more efficient and caring more about his work. The way he was ‘carrying on’ would get him ‘nowhere.’ He had gotten so annoyed with her comments that he blew up.

 

“I don’t care what you have to say, Hermione! Your opinion doesn’t count!”

 

“Why don’t you stop being an incessant nag and leave me be?”

 

“Go away, Hermione. All you’re succeeding in doing is throttling me!”

 

“Nothing you ever say to me is going to make me change my ways, Hermione. You have no control over me, do you hear me? NONE.”

 

Ron felt tears creep slowly out of his eyes. Oh, how wrong he was.

 

So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands

And pray to be only yours

I pray to be only yours

I know now you’re my only hope

 

Hermione threw her head down on the bed and sobbed so hard, her shoulder shaking moved the bed. The words she had said were cruel, bitter, and cold. What had she been thinking? It was Ron. RON! He was never going to change, not even for her, as he had so clearly stated.

 

Yet it bothered her when he never tried. He could have so much more going for him if he used his true potential. It irked her to see him waste it. But perhaps he had been right. She was too meddlesome for her own good. He was stubborn as a donkey when it came to certain matters. No amount of poking and prodding could ever get Ron to change his ways about schoolwork.

 

Schoolwork wasn’t the real issue.

 

Use your potential and your heart, Ronald Weasley. Look at what is right in front of you. A girl who you’ve never noticed was a girl before is looking at a boy in a different way. She doesn’t want an internationally famous Quidditch player at her side. She wants the truehearted boy that’s been there faithfully for six years. At least… until you gave her that Look.

 

Ron buried his face in his arms again when he felt the tears really bubble up. She was constantly on him about everything, why was that? Why didn’t she bug Harry for once? Well, of course she bugged Harry, but not nearly as much as she did him. Why was that? Did she get some sort of pleasure out of watching Ron squirm underneath her tirades?

 

But she was right. He wasn’t pushing himself to be all he could be, and he deserved all the nagging he got. If it hadn’t been for Hermione, he wouldn’t have gotten half as much work done as he did. She wasn’t going to be around forever.

 

Or would she?

 

I give you my destiny

I’m giving you all of me

 

I need to talk to him.

 

I need to talk to her.

 

Getting up off of the bed, Hermione grabbed her journal, picking her wand up off of the nightstand, performing a simple Lock Charm on the book, and shoving it under her bed. She raced out of the dorms and hoped in her heart of hearts that Ron was sitting in the common room.

 

He wasn’t there.

 

Ron got up from the table, packing his things up and carrying them with him out of the library. He had to talk to Hermione and find out what had happened to her halfway through such an intense and routine bout. He also had something that he desperately needed to get out. He knew exactly where she was, as well. In her dorm.

 

Yet as he rehearsed over and over what he was going to say to her, he was met with an unexpected surprise.

 

Hermione was standing at the foot of the stairs.

 

I want your symphony

Singing in all that I am

At the top of my lungs

 

Hermione opened her mouth to speak but couldn’t. Ron was right in front of her, carrying a huge stack of books. Was it possible? It couldn’t have been… was it really him or a different Weasley?

 

Ron couldn’t move his legs to get up to her. He wanted to stare into her face, to make sure it was going to be real. He couldn’t lose her this time. Finally, as if by some miracle, Ron’s legs unlocked and he got to her slowly. All Hermione could do was stand in complete silence.

 

“Ron, I―”

 

“Hermione, listen―”

 

They stopped again and Hermione decided it was time to find out what was going on. If he had given her the Look, why was he here, talking to her?

 

“Ron, I don’t know how to say it, so I’ll just blurt it out.” He waited in anxious anticipation. “I’m sorry.” He was slightly disappointed. “I need to realize that you are going to do things on your own and I shouldn’t badger you about it. I didn’t mean to degrade you.”

 

Ron was rocking back and forth on his heels. He was desperate to say something, anything. She wouldn’t look him in the eye. She was playing with her hair, looking down at her feet, going on about how sorry she was for being rude. He kept remembering what he had rehearsed saying trillions of times. Somehow, all reasonable words had slipped from his tongue.

 

“You have this gift you don’t even realize, Ron. When we were… fighting… you turned everything off.”

 

This jerked his head up. He finally found the words to speak. “I turned everything off? What about you?”

 

She looked surprised. “What about me?”

 

“You looked at me and I saw it happen… you deflated. You were just… gone. It was like you didn’t want to fight anymore.”

 

“I didn’t.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I saw the look you gave me, Ron. That cold stare you give Malfoy so often. I was done fighting after I saw it. It was all over.”

 

Ron’s jaw dropped. He hadn’t even realized he had given her the Look of Death, as she and Harry so jokingly called it. No wonder she had lost the will to fight. “Hermione, I―”

 

“I just wanted to tell you I was sorry.” She turned to walk away when Ron screamed the first thing that popped into his head.

 

“I love you, Hermione.”

 

I’m giving it back

 

Hermione turned around so slowly she could easily make out every crack in the bricked wall of the staircase. Her heart was thudding hard enough to hurt and her eyes were misting with tears. He couldn’t have said what he had just said.

 

Ron’s entire face had gone flame red, but he wasn’t sorry he had said it. It was a gigantic relief to have said it out loud. All he had left to be worried about was her reaction.

 

The tears in her eyes falling out, Hermione realized that that was what had been wrong all along. The entire time she had thought she was angry with him for wasting his potential, she had actually been angry with him for not noticing she was in love with him sooner.

 

And she took a step forward. She found herself moving closer and closer to him until they were so close that Ron’s breath caught in his throat.

 

So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands

And pray to be only yours

I pray to be only yours

 

He gave in. He couldn’t help it. He dropped his books, wrapping his arms around Hermione’s small waist. He pulled her even closer than she had been a moment before and stared into her eyes. She was incredibly beautiful. How had it taken him six years to notice?

 

It was a Charm. A Spell. It was something. He closed his eyes and dropped his forehead down to meet Hermione’s. Her eyes closed as well in the gesture. Her shaking hands climbed steadily up the length of Ron’s gray uniform sweater and wrapped around his neck. She clasped her hands behind his neck and thanked whoever could have possibly been listening for the miracle she had received that day.

 

I pray to be only yours

I know now you’re my only hope

 

Ron expertly maneuvered his head down and met Hermione’s lips, capturing her in a complete embrace of love.

//
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