The Boy Who Lived
The Boy Who Lived
It’s quiet
in here, so very quiet.
I used to
love being alone, in silence. When I was little, silence meant Aunt Petunia and
Uncle Vernon were asleep, and I could get up and wander around the house without
anyone yelling at me. It meant Dudley wouldn’t try to punch me as soon as I got
out of the cupboard, and it meant I wouldn’t have to run and hide. I could just
walk around, quietly, like a normal boy.
As I grew
up, silence became less frequent. I had friends now, wonderful friends, who
rarely left me alone. But I still treasured the silence, and the quiet moments
spent besides those I truly loved, Ron, Hermione, Sirius …and Ginny.
We never
had the chance to talk, Ginny and I. But sometimes, I reckoned that silent
afternoons spent sitting side by side, hands clasped together as we stared at
the lake, were enough to convey my feelings for her. There was, after all, no
need to talk. Not yet, at least.
I am not so
sure of that, right now. Fear held me back then,
and I, the boy who loved silence so much became, unwillingly, a prisoner of it,
unable to break out and say what I was really feeling.
And then
everything was black, and I was stranded
here. Wherever here is. All I know is that it’s dark, and cold, and silent. The
silence is my only companion here, and on days like this I wish with all I have
left for someone to come in and break it.
I don’t
even talk anymore. My voice sounds foreign to my own ears, and frankly I’ve
become tired of hearing myself. At nights, when I close my eyes, I will see and
hear Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall and wake up hoping to hear
someone breaking the silence, and getting me out of here.
But it
never happens. The days go by, and the silence seems to grow thicker and thicker
until it engulfs me almost causing me to stop breathing. My only companion,
besides the voices in my head and my dreams.
Dreams …of dead people.
It didn’t
take long to work out that Dumbledore was dead. I had seen the flash of light,
and even if the hope that he could have survived never left me, deep down I
knew he was dead. Professor McGonagall, on the other hand, that was a big shock.
I remember her battered and beaten, but still standing, when the world went
black and silent around me.
But they
visit me every night, both of them. And as much as it hurts to know that these
two people who taught me so much and gave up
everything for the world to have a second chance at peace are gone, every night
when I see them in my dreams, I give a small prayer of thanks to whoever is
listening for the fact that they are alone.
Because
that means everyone else is alive.
My thoughts
go to Ginny first, but I am sure she’s all right, at least. She was standing
close to me, her eyes alive and her smile bright just before Voldemort’s curse
hit me, and I was engulfed in darkness and silence.
Ron and
Hermione were kneeling not so far away from Ginny and me, holding onto each
other, and the knowledge that if I am to stay trapped in here, at least my best
friends in the world have each other and they
will be happy together is enough make me hold
out hope for the world outside.
But, then
my thoughts run to Remus and Sirius, and it’s almost as if someone took all the
air from my lungs, and left me feeling battered, beaten and hopeless. Because, I
am almost sure Sirius is dead.
He was
lying down, his eyes bright and his mouth quirked in a smile as he tried to talk
lightly about his condition, but his face betrayed the pain he was feeling, and
I could see understanding in Remus’ grey eyes. Understanding, and a pain so
profound I didn’t think I could ever feel anything like it. His voice was broken
as he tried to talk, and his eyes were filled with tears as he chided Sirius for
being so foolish. He wasn’t worth dying for he said. Sirius should have stayed
away, and saved himself. But Sirius was shaking his head, and clasping Remus’
hand, and the look that passed between them was filled with the kind love that
many people talk about, but few
understand.
And, that
was the last I saw of them.
Now there’s
nothing but the memories of them, the people I loved, and who loved me. Nothing
more than silence, and too much time to think about them.
Sometimes,
my thoughts turn to other people. Neville, for example, one of Voldemort’s first
victims. My heart contracts at the thought that he would never get to understand
how important his sacrifice had been in the end. How without him we would have
never defeated Voldemort. How each and every sacrifice counted.
Those are
sad thoughts. Through it all, a rather happy one still remains, and amazingly
enough it concerns Professor Snape.
He’s
probably a hero now, one of the biggest heroes of the war against Voldemort, for
he was the one to reveal Voldemort's location and his plans. He was the one, who
spied on Voldemort for so long, at the risk of his life. He was the one who, in
the end, made it all possible.
And now
he’s out there, being glorified by everyone while I am here, slowly going mad,
and I can’t help the surge of bitterness that threatens to consume me. I was,
after all, Voldemort’s deadly enemy, and it wouldn’t have made sense for the
curse to target anyone else. Still it burns, that in the moment Voldemort
vanished for good, so did I, hidden from the world by an ancient curse few
people know about.
It’s almost
like being buried alive.
Except that
when you are buried, people have a place to visit you, and mourn, and pay their
respects. I’m alive, and yet, it will be easy for everyone to forget me, for
it’s almost as if I never existed.
I’m the Boy
who Lived.
Except, of
course, that I won’t live in people’s memories for too long.
My eyes
close as despair fills me, and just like that, I can see Ginny’s ethereal figure
walking towards me. No, I want to yell out. Not you, Ginny. You can’t come here,
only the dead come to visit me. Not you, Ginny. It can’t be you, I couldn’t bear
it.
But she
keeps walking towards me, her arms outstretched, beckoning me, and I take a few
hesitant steps before finding myself in her arms, surrounded by her glow, her
scent, her strength, and I feel like I’m falling, deep into a precipice and I
can’t do anything about it.
My last
conscious thought is that she’ll catch me.
Epilogue
The silence
that had been my companion for so long has been replaced by voices, many voices,
all telling me things, asking me things, and for a moment if feels like my head
is going to explode from all the noise. The information is too much, and so I
just lay there, my eyes closed, trying to understand what happened.
I was
saved, saved from the curse.
Someone
found me. And the silence was broken. There is laughter, and tears around me.
Odd noises reach my ears, and I struggle to identify them, not really caring if
I do. And voices, the voices of the people I love float around me, and I can’t
help out but let out tears of joy as I open my eyes and let light and noise in
once again.
I am not
alone anymore, and not silent now. Ron and Hermione are beaming at me from their
spot besides my bed, their smiles brighter than anything I’ve ever seen and
their hands clasped together. Remus is smiling softly, too, his grey eyes full
of tears, like the last time I saw them, but this time, I am ready to believe
they are tears of happiness as his eyes travel back to Sirius, snoring softly on
the bed besides me, blissfully unaware of the many people invading the room, but
amazingly alive, and getting better.
There’s a
small part of me wanting to grieve for Professor Dumbledore and Professor
McGonagall, but as I look around me, my hearts tells me that they would have
wanted me to enjoy this moment, and take care of a few things first. I’ll have
plenty of time to mourn later. Now, it’s time to right a few wrongs.
Ginny
first, and then Professor Snape.
It’s time
to get that happy ending we’ve all been wanting.
I know
exactly where to start.
The End
A/N: I am not sure this could
really be called the end, since there’s a third part coming, from Ginny’s POV,
the final piece to this trilogy I am sure you all thought I was never going to
write. I blame Elle, from disappearing from my life. She’s back now, so I
figured without someone to blame, I would have to start writing. This one is for
you, my MIA sister. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.
Any R/S references you may find
are unintentional, and I blame Ami and Tori for them. I really didn’t mean to.
And, a through explanation of
what exactly happened to Harry is coming up in Ginny’s POV of everything. It’s
vague for a reason, you know. *winks*
