The Sugar Quill
Author: Aubade89  Story: Forest Rehab  Chapter: Default
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Forest Rehab

Forest Rehab


            “...If you had only listened to me…”

            Hermione’s repeated words stung Harry’s ears as he, Ron, and Hermione trudged along the path leading into the heart of the Forbidden Forest.

            Hermione continued on her tirade of Ron as they walked.  “If you had ONLY listened to me, none of us would be here.  What on Earth were you thinking, Ron?”

            “Er…” there was no denying the hilarity of Ron’s inability to reply.

            “Fine, if you are incapable of normal speech as well as forming actual thoughts, I’ll help you: YOU WEREN’T THINKING AT ALL! What other excuse could there be for stuffing Mrs. Norris in the Slytherin House Points hourglass?! How in the world you managed to do it is beyond me…”

            Harry stifled a laugh as Ron mumbled under his breath, “And Merlin forbid something be beyond you.”

            Unfortunately, it appeared Hermione heard him.  “I heard that, Ron!”

            “Alright, that’s enough, you two,” Harry said, ignoring Ron and Hermione’s disgusted expression at having been referred to as a unit.  “It doesn’t matter whose fault it is; because we’re already here.”

            And indeed they were.  Filch’s punishment for Ron and his “accomplices,” was doing community-service clean-up on a portion of the Forbidden Forest that had been “Overly used,” as he put it.  Harry wondered very much what “Overly used” meant.

            “So…er…what exactly are we supposed to do?”

            “I, I think we’re just supposed to…I, I…I’m not sure…” Hermione replied, disconcerted at her failure to calculate the situation.

            Ron looked as though he would like nothing more than to make Hermione even more aware that she was not sure, but didn’t get a chance before yelling, “Oy! Gross,” and jumping backwards straight into Harry.

            “What?” asked Hermione, alarmed.

            “Something’s - look- something’s…oh, just look!”

            Hermione turned around.  Harry didn’t bother to; he knew that Hermione would explain everything out of Harry’s need to look.


            Thoroughly disappointed at Hermione’s not having taken the liberty of explaining the reason for her own outburst of repugnance, Harry finally turned around, only to meet the sight of a rather plump Thestral excreting on a nearby tree.

            “But what’s doing it?” Hermione asked, speaking to no one in particular.

            “I…I dunno! Whadayou reckon, Harry?”

            It was then that Harry remembered that he was the only one of the three who could see Thestrals.  “Well, isn’t it obvious?”

            Ron looked quite taken aback.  “Er-isn’t that Hermione’s line?”

            Harry chose to ignore this.  “It’s a Thestral!”

            A look of dawning comprehension appeared on Ron and Hermione’s faces simultaneously  “Ohhhh!”

            “But, but, but that would mean…”

            “…You can see it, Harry?”

            “Oh, I can see it, alright.”

            “I wonder why we can see its poop…I suppose it’s because it’s not really part of the Thestral, per say…mind you, I wouldn’t mind it being invisible, it would give us an excuse not to have to clean it up.”

            “What?!” Ron and Harry exclaimed in unison, highly perturbed.

            “Well, isn’t it obvious?”

            “Finally, something predictable!” said Ron, grinning slightly.  But just as soon as his smile had manifested on his lips, it faded into oblivion. “What’s obvious?”

            “Well…it’s quite obvious that our punishment from Filch is to clean up this portion of the forest!”

            “We already know that, Hermione,” said Harry, exasperated.

            “Yes, but I don’t think Filch mentioned that this particular portion of the forest is a communal digestion ground for all of the creatures that reside within its entirety!”

            At this Harry and Ron gave up watching the Thestral empty any remaining fesses of itself to stop and stare at Hermione.

            “It’s-we’re-what?!” Harry managed to say.

            “Well, hadn’t you noticed the smell?”

            “Yeah, but I just thought that was Ron,” said Harry, admittedly more than half expecting to hear an indignant “Hey,” from his male best friend – but none came.  Harry turned around and was surprised to see Ron already saying various charms to rid the place of its filth.

            “Ron!” Hermione screeched with a pleasured tone noteable in her voice, “I’m impressed! I would have thought you, of all people, would resent having to do this job! Well, what are we waiting for, Harry? Start helping him!”

            About halfway through their job, Harry spotted a Bowtruckle on a tree from out of the corner of his eye.



            “You were the one who identified Bowtruckles in Care of Magical Creatures last year, right?”


            “Well, is it common for them to write random letters in hearts on trees?”


            “Then what’s this one’s explanation?”

            Harry turned Hermione around to face the tree the Bowtruckle had manipulated.

            “R and H…what could that mean?”

            “I dunno!”

            “R…that might be you, Ron, and H…Harry, I’ll bet that’s you! Ron and Harry!”

            “Well, I have always found Harry oddly attractive…”


            “Only joking!…sort of…”



            The end.

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