Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. They belong to J.K. Rowling. This is a non-profit fanfiction written by a
fan for the enjoyment of other fans.
Author’s note: I would like to thank a friend of mine, trio, as well as Sugar
Quill’s Stella for beta-reading this.
you considering refusing the Dark Lord?”
shook my head automatically. My eyes
remained fixed on the stone floor, staring at, yet not seeing, the cracks on
the uneven surface. I didn’t dare look
up, too afraid that my eyes would reveal the confusion I felt. I knew that Lucius was family. But I also knew that he would not make any
exceptions when reporting his doubts to the Dark Lord.
must die. You do understand that.”
blinked as I slowly registered the statement.
No… NO! That was precisely what
I did not understand!
finally tore my eyes away from the floor and looked up at him. His facial features were completely devoid
of emotion as his steel grey eyes bored into mine. Why? I wanted to
ask. But I hesitated. I should…
I wanted to! But I couldn’t.
Dark Lord does not need to tell you his reasons.”
heart skipped a beat. Was Lucius
reading my mind?
considering that we are cousins-in-law, I will tell you that the Dark Lord has
been informed that Siruis Black is very likely to be the one chosen as the
Potters’ Secret Keeper.”
Keeper…? Potter? The name rang a bell…
naturally, our Lord has other plans regarding who the Potters’ Secret Keeper
finally broke eye contact. My mind was
reeling. I didn’t know what to
think. I didn’t want to think
should be honoured that our Lord has given you the task of killing him.”
Honoured…? I suddenly felt sickened. Sickened as I had never felt before. I was supposed to be honoured to kill my own
remember that I had been more than elated when the news first came that the
Dark Lord would be giving me a very important assignment. Mother had been immensely pleased when I
shared the news with her. She patted me
on my back, and told me she was proud that I was going to make myself more
useful in our ever-honourable-and-great cause…
But never… Never in my life had I expected what Lucius
would tell me to do. Sirius was no
Mudblood! The blood that flowed in his
veins was as pure as ours!
was one of us,
One of the very
people we were fighting for…
was trembling. I knew I was, but I
couldn’t control myself. My knees were
going to give way. I was going to
collapse onto the floor before I could help it.
have the night to consider. I will be
back at dawn.” Lucius’s voice broke
into my thoughts.
couldn’t look up. I couldn’t even nod.
trust that your choice will not be…
a loud crack, he was gone.
fell to the floor.
be fully pure is the greatest gift that was bestowed on you. On us.
at them, Regulus. Do you see how they
watch us with envy in their eyes? Our
blood is priceless. For we… are pure.
not be afraid to tell the half-breeds and the Mudbloods that you are above
them. Because that is an unchangeable
finally has the right idea about things.
This is how things should have been done all along. The Mudbloods should have been eradicated
mother and I are proud of you, our little king. By joining the army of Lord Voldemort to fight bravely for the
cleansing of Wizard kind, you have chosen to serve a noble cause.
what noble cause was this?
question wasn’t a completely unfamiliar one.
I had found myself having doubts before, almost asking this very
question, but I had always managed to push it away before it formed fully in my
head. I didn’t need to question. I knew the answers! I knew that the Mudbloods, the half-breeds,
anyone who wasn’t a pureblood, was unworthy!
Hadn’t I always been told so?
Yet… why did that question still
linger? Why did I still remember those
words that Sirius had told me when I was six?
aren’t always right, you know? And you
don’t always need to listen to them.
I found myself wondering. What was it
like to have a Mudblood as a friend? Or
should I say… a Muggle-born? I had never tried befriending one
before. They were as much a taboo on my
friends list as the dark creatures like vampires and werewolves. Thus I had never even wanted to speak to one
during my time at Hogwarts.
had never given them a chance, had I?
it took me this long to think about that?
turned, freezing on the spot as I realised who it was.
recognise me?” A slight grin was on his
shouldn’t be talking to him. The
blood traitor! I hear Mother’s
voice screaming in my head.
eyebrows creased. A part of me missed
chatting with him, yet… I didn’t want
to be seen being friendly with a traitor, and furthermore, a Gryffindor, would
I now? Even if he was my brother. Cross that, Mother had said that he was no
longer a part of our family.
I carefully twisted my lips into a sneer.
should I?” I asked coldly.
grin on his face vanished.
glad to see that you’re doing fine,” he
barked, sarcasm dripping from his voice.
hesitated. Should I also be sarcastic
and reply “Same goes for me”? I’ve never
been very good with sarcasm.
took the decision off my hands.
be careful with your choices. Don’t go
ruining your life now, alright?”
stared at him. At the unexpectedly
gentle tone of his voice. At the
genuine concern in his eyes. For that
moment, he was no longer the blood traitor Mother had accused him to be. He was my very dear brother.
carriage swayed as the train curved around a bend. The jolt seemed to awaken me from the dreamlike state I was
falling into. Suddenly it all came
back. Blood traitor, useless scum… The string of curses came out in a rush in
my head in Mother’s voice as I forced myself to remain clear-headed about who I
was speaking to.
The first thought against him I could force
from my mind, I spoke aloud, “What are you trying to do? Control my life?”
said nothing. Just continued to look at
me with this strange look in his eyes.
wasn’t used to him being quiet. I was
used to him shouting, raving, yelling when he was provoked. But he wasn’t anything like that today. And in a way, it frightened and unnerved me
more than any amount of screaming could have done.
he turned away.
watched his figure become smaller as he strode down the narrow corridor. I suddenly realised… this had been his last year at Hogwarts and
he was not going to go home, which meant that this might be the last time I’ll
be seeing him, actually talking to him.
I felt an impulse to shout out, to call him back. To tell him, that I cared about him too. But
for some reason, I didn’t.
couldn’t do it.
first life I took was a horrible experience.
Even knowing that she was a Mudblood did not help. Nothing ever really did. Despite the knowledge that the people I was
killing were either Mudbloods or their equally worthless Muggle relatives, I
still had nightmares.
had convinced myself that the misery the nightmares left me with was worth
it. For I was fighting to cleanse
Wizard kind. As uphill a task as it
couldn’t kill him.
I couldn’t kill Sirius!
couldn’t kill my own brother!
for the Dark Lord.
for anyone else!
don’t want to!
didn’t know what to do.
did the only thing I could think of doing.
my desperation to escape,
from this house
from Lucius Malfoy
from the Dark Lord
Dark Mark burned fiercely on my left arm.
But I bit back my tears. I
wasn’t going to turn back now! Or ever!
careful with your choices. Don’t go
ruining your life now, alright?”
once, I felt that I was making a right choice. A proper decision of my own.
once, I felt just a little worthy of my name, Regulus. Not “the little king” as my parents used to
say I was. But rather, Cor Leonis,
the Lion’s heart.