The Sugar Quill
Author: Darwin's Apprentice (Professors' Bookshelf)  Story: Letters to Mum  Chapter: Chapter Two: Out with a Bang
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Dear Mum

A/N:  Thank you to Stella for the great job as beta!  She has a great knowledge of canon that keeps me from posting the mistakes I make.  The best compliment I can give is that I like my work much better after you have had a go at it.  And thanks to Hope and Rich for making Stella's job easier. 


I know this letter is not technically a Missing Moment, since it is not mentioned in canon.  But I am convinced the twins, even though they are Gryffindors, would  have used an owl to tell Molly this bit of news.. 


Out with a Bang!


Dear Mum,


Right.  There’s no easy way to say this Mum.  So sit down and take a deep breath.


Fred and I quit school. 


Are you still with us?  We wanted to tell you first, before you heard it anywhere else.  Now Mum, it’s our decision.  And we are of age.  So, try to understand this is what we want.  (We feel we did the honourable thing leaving school on our own rather than waitin’ round for that cow, Umbridge, to throw us out!)  


Now, you might get a letter from Hogwarts about some of our recent escapades.  We won’t deny it.  It was us, 100% through.  Some of our better work, actually.  But we made sure that both ickle Prefect Ronnie and baby Ginny were nowhere near the … erm … incidents in question.  Wouldn’t want Ginny to get in trouble and keep her from makin’ prefect next year.  Everyone in our family’s been a prefect, you know! 


You probably don’t agree with our decision.  But when they kicked out the Headmaster, we reckoned it wasn’t worth staying any longer.  If that lot have their heads so far up their arses cauldrons they can’t see Dumbledore is worth keepin’, then it’s not a place we want to be associated with.  The only reason we went back to Hogwarts this year in the first place, was out of respect for you Mum.  After Dumbledore left, we only stayed so we could take our N.E.W.T.s.  And even then, only because we knew that’s what you wanted.  Speakin’ of N.E.W.T.s, we did get a letter from Professor Flitwick telling us that he’s givin’ us an honorary N.E.W.T. for one of our products!  He said our Portable Swamp was a “really good piece of magic”.   Anyway, we don’t reckon employers will be askin’ to see our N.E.W.T.s.  Because…


Are you still sitting down? 


Say hullo to the owners and founders of Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes! 


Now before you fly off the broom handle and send us a Howler, please listen to our side.  We know you think we’re just havin’ a lark.  But Mum, we haven’t just run off with our wands half-drawn.  Here’s proof we’re serious:


            1. We have an accountant, a business license and a corporate bank line at Gringotts.  You know we must be a good risk if the goblins’ll give us an account!  


            2. We have fine-tuned most of our products.  Thereby giving several first years an opportunity to earn some pocket money and show their Gryffindor courage at the same time.  Don’t worry.  They weren’t hurt.  Not permanently.  Our products are safe and they work!


            3. We have an investor who thinks enough of us that he has financed our whole operation.  And Professor Flitwick even offered to write us a letter of reference if we need one.  We’re hoping he’ll be a spokeswizard for the company and endorse some of our products.  We think he may have been a prankster in his younger days.


            4. We’ve leased premises on Diagon Alley.   Nothing fancy, but it’s a great location and big enough for a fair-sized workroom in the back.  We can even kip there if you’re so mad you don’t want us stayin’ at the Burrow. 


We already have enough orders to break even this month.  Plus, we’ve verbal agreements for three corporate accounts that will put us into the black straightaway.  Two professional Quidditch teams and the Nimbus Company!  The Quidditch teams (Puddlemere United and the Holyhead Harpies!) want our Weasleys’ Wildfire Whiz-bangs for every home game next season.  The managers think they’ll be great crowd pleasers!  That’s nine months worth of orders!  Nimbus has asked us to provide entertainment for the release party featuring the debut of their new fall line.  They also want us to provide entertainment for their company Halloween party. 


To be honest, we used up most of our inventory just before our sudden departure from Hogwarts.  So, it’s going to mean long hours for us this summer to produce what we’ll need for our corporate clients and the shop.  We’re hoping to hire Ron and Ginny to mind the shop front this summer.  Top wages, Mum!  That will leave us time to focus on production and marketing.


If you need us, Mum, you can reach us at Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes, number 93 Diagon Alley, London.  We’d love to show you around!  But let us know before you come by Floo!  There’s a charm on the fireplace that turns every third person into a largish beaver for ten minutes.  (Kids will love it, but we’re afraid parents will think it’s a bit of a dam nuisance!)


We know that you’ve always wanted us to work for the Ministry.  While we respect you and Dad more than any witch and wizard we know, we’re dead convinced the ministry is not for us.  Specially right now.  We’re sure you’ll see that we are serious about this and well prepared. 


Mum, you knew we were going to follow a different path than the rest of the family.  This is something we have to do.  Have to!  We can’t walk away from our dream.  If this whole thing explodes in our faces (which happened last night, but we’ve fixed that) we’ll find other work.  We are Weasleys.  We are proud of that, and want to make you proud of us, too. 


Tell Professor Dumbledore that we are ready and willing to join his “crowd” when he thinks we’re ready.  We believe in him.  We believe in you.  Please believe in us.








P.S. We’ve included a box of our Extendable Ears.  Don’t throw these out like that lot you confiscated last winter!  We think that crowd you’re runnin’ with will find them dead useful.  We sure have!    They are free, compliments of Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes.  Because we feel we owe Professor Dumbledore somethin’ for his sporting attitude over the last seven years.

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