My name is Narcissa

Narcissa Black-Malfoy is a character that we don’t see much of…all we know is that she has an unpleasant expression and that she’s the only family member that Kreacher still respects.

 I see her as being quiet, icy and “touch-me-not”, and I wonder what made her the way she is. Maybe she was not “an evil one”, but just got lost in the grip of her blood…

Please take a look at AgiVega’s drawing “The Black sisters”- I think she captures Narcissa especially very well.

Thank you Zsenya, for being so helpful. You’re always the first one to see – and judge – my stories.

All characters mentioned belong to JKR.

My name is Narcissa. Narcissa Black.

I’m beautiful. Everyone says I’m beautiful. Except for Sirius and his friends.

They don’t say anything. They don’t know that unruly red curls and fiery green eyes can never be as elegant as golden-blonde and ice blue.

That’s how Sirius describes my eyes. I hear him whispering to his friends. He says they are pieces of ice. He sneers as he says it, but doesn’t he realize that a true Black never shows his feelings? It makes you too vulnerable.

A Black is not vulnerable, not ever.

He doesn’t know that. His dark eyes glow and smolder and sparkle and snap, and you can always tell what he is thinking, what he is feeling.

If you look at me, you think of snow and ice and purity.

But inside my heart is all Black. That’s what Sirius says. I am proud of this, of living up to my ancestors, but he is contemptuous. He wants nothing to do with me.

Sirius is my cousin. He is exactly my age. We used to play together, but then he started acting different. I don’t understand him anymore. Bella says he is not a true Black.

 Bella is my sister. She’s as dark as I am white, but just as beautiful. She is two years older than I am, and she is always right. Bella always knows better than I do.

She hasn’t spoken to Sirius since he was Sorted into Gryffindor.

I am a Slytherin.

A true Black is always Sorted into Slytherin House, Bella says.

My younger sister, Andromeda, is not in Slytherin either, but Bella doesn’t mind, even though she is not very fond of Andromeda. Bella says that Ravenclaw is a dignified House. Andromeda is pretty and friendly. I don’t see her much, though. We don’t have the same friends. Andromeda is not a disgrace to the House of Black.

Sirius is, though, Bella says. Sirius is a disgrace to his blood. To OUR blood.

But…one doesn’t choose one’s house, does one? Sirius couldn’t help being Sorted into Gryffindor.

But the Sorting Hat can see inside you. It knows what you are truly like.

Sirius is brave and loyal and smart and impulsive…I wasn’t surprised when he was Sorted. Not really. Gryffindor seems right for him. But how can a Black be a Gryffindor? I don’t understand sometimes.

And Bella and I haven’t spoken to him since then.

Sirius and his friends say that I am cold, icy, that I have no feelings. This is not true. Inside, I burn.

But a true Black does not show her feelings. That would make us powerless in the hands of those we love.

…A Black does not show love, either. Nor hatred. No strong emotions. A Black controls her feelings.

A Black is quiet but always in command – of herself and of others.

Sirius lets others see him laugh and cry. He lets others see, and participate in, his joy, his pain, his fear.

But a true Black never asks for help. A true Black is not weak.

Sirius has turned his back against his family, his blood.

My name is Narcissa, and I am a Black, and a Black does not betray her heritage, no matter what.

But sometimes I look at Sirius and I wonder…what it would be like…to feel alive.