The Sugar Quill
Author: IsabelA113 (Professors' Bookshelf)  Story: Interdepartmental Memos  Chapter: Default
The distribution of this story is for personal use only. Any other form of distribution is prohibited without the consent of the author.

June 24

Author’s Note: This is my take on the “firelegs report” mentioned in Chapter Seven of OotP. Both Arthur and Kinglsey have great senses of humor, and I bet they couldn’t resist having a bit of fun…Thanks to Zsenya for the beta.

 

 

 

June 24

To: Arthur Weasley, Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office

From: Kingsley Shacklebolt, Auror Headquarters

Re: Sirius Black investigation

 

Mr. Weasley,

 

Information has lead my department to believe that Sirius Black may be traced through the purchase of certain Muggle items called firelegs. I will need a report containing any and all information you have regarding these items, their purchase, and relevant Muggle laws on my desk by the end of the week.

 

Kingsley Shacklebolt

 

 

June 26

To: Kingsley Shacklebolt, Auror Headquarters

From: Arthur Weasley, Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office

Re: Your memo

 

Mr. Shacklebolt,

 

I am afraid that I will be unable to prepare any reports for you this week. My own office is terribly busy, and as I do not have the luxury of delegating my assignments to members of other departments, I must see to that work myself. As it is, I may have to work late and miss the wonderful roast that my wife is preparing for dinner.

 

Arthur Weasley

 

 

June 27

To: Arthur Weasley, Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office

From: Kingsley Shacklebolt, Auror Headquarters

Re: Delay

 

Mr. Weasley

 

By all means, see to your own work. I should hate to impose upon your busy schedule to aid in the capture of an escaped mass murderer. Nonetheless, I expect to see that report on my desk in a week’s time. Pity that you had to miss the roast, I am sure that it was very tender and juicy.

 

Kingsley Shacklebolt

 

 

July 4

To: Kingsley Shacklebolt, Auror Headquarters

From: Arthur Weasley, Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office

Re: “Firelegs”

 

Mr. Shacklebolt,

 

After extensive research, we at the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office have found no references to firelegs, nor any evidence that such a thing exists. I respectfully suggest that you look into tips from your informants before sending busy colleagues off on wild pixie chases.

 

Athur Weasley

 

 

July 8

To: Arthur Weasley, Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office

From: Kinglsey Shacklebolt, Auror Headquarters

Re: Firearms

 

Clearly, I meant firearms, not firelegs. An honest mistake on my part that should have been caught by your office. I am not the expert on Muggle artifacts. I respectfully suggest that your office be more thorough in researching requests from departments that have limited knowledge of the Muggle world. I, myself, have some difficulty getting around Muggle London and it often makes me late for meetings.

 

Kingsley Shacklebolt

 

 

July 9

To: Kingsley Shacklebolt, Auror Headqaurters

From: Arthur Weasley, Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office

Re: Your report

 

Mr. Shacklebolt,

 

Thank you for clarifying your request. Now we will be able find the information you asked for. This whole process could have been simplified if you had taken the time to get us the correct information in the first place. You will receive a report when we have finished our research.

 

Arthur Weasley

 

 

July 17

To: Arthur Weasley, Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office

From: Kingsley Shacklebolt, Auror Headquarters

Re: Firearms report

 

Mr. Weasley

 

Perhaps in your department you are unused to working on a schedule, but I would like to reiterate to you that this report is an urgent matter. I expect to see it on my desk with no more lollygagging about.

 

Kingsley Shacklebolt

 

 

July 21

To: Kingsley Shacklebolt, Auror Headquarters

From: Arthur Weasley, Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office

Re: Casting apersions

 

Mr. Shacklebolt

 

I do not appreciate your tone. I most certainly do understand urgent matters, as I have been out of the office most of the last week dealing with objects that pose an IMMEDIATE THREAT to the Muggle population. Your report will be on your desk when it is finished. There are two people in my department, and a great deal of work to be done so I would recommend that you refrain from casting aspersions on our working habits. I am so distressed at your insinuation that I probably won’t even enjoy the strawberry rhubarb pie that my wife is making for dessert tonight.

 

Arthur Weasley

 

 

July 24

To: Arthur Weasley, Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office

From: Kingsley Shacklebolt, Auror Headquarters

Re: Deadline

 

Mr. Weasley

 

Have that report on my desk on Monday morning at the latest. My superiors are ready to have my head over this information, and if I do not have it I am sure you can imagine which direction my finger will be pointing. Believe me, no amount of pie will improve things if they come down on you, no matter how unbelievably delicious it is.

 

Kingsley Shacklebolt

 

 

July 28

To: Kingsley Shacklebolt

From: Arthur Weasley

Re: Completed report

 

Mr. Shacklebolt

 

Attached you will find a full report on firearms. If you need any further information, I suggest that you assign the research to a junior member of your own department, as mine is too busy at this time to pick up the slack for others. And, sir, I can assure you that there is little in this world that my wife’e pie cannot fix.

 

Arthur Weasley

//
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