You've had action!
You've had adventure! You've
had action-adventure!
But you've never had anything like this!
Harry
Potter and the Days of Our Lives As The World Turns Towards the
Guiding Light!
The DRAMA!
RON - Harry, I've got something to tell you.
HARRY - What is it, Ron?
RON - I'm pregnant. And Remus is the father.
HARRY - Remus! How could you?
REMUS - My love for Ronald
overpowered my normally rational mind. Oh, cursed emotions!
HARRY - No, literally, how could you? He's a guy!
REMUS - And what a guy!
The ROMANCE!
HARRY - Ginny, let me love you.
GINNY - It's too late, Harry. I've given my heart to someone
else.
HARRY - Okay, is the rest of you accounted for? I don't need
much.
The SUSPENSE!
VOLDEMORT - Who would you have me kill, Potter? Your love or your
family?
HARRY - You haven't been paying very close attention to the series,
have you?
Have I mentioned the DRAMA?
RON - Hermione, I have something to tell you.
HERMIONE - You're pregnant with Remus' possibly lycanthropic love
child?
RON - Yes, actually. Who told? Was it Harry?
HERMIONE
- No, I read it in Hogwarts, a History of Tawdry
Student-Former-Teacher Affairs.
RON - Can I borrow that when you're done with it?
I feel pressed to repeat the importance of the ROMANCE!
HERMIONE - Luna, I think I'm in love with you.
LUNA - A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
HERMIONE - I'm so glad you feel that way!
The... what other
categories are there... SCI-FI!
SIRIUS - Look at me! I'm dead, and yet I'm running around being
myself! Wheee!
SNAPE - Black? Are you here to show me the error of my ways by taking
me back to my former Christmases?
SIRIUS - Sure, why not. It's not like I have anything better to do.
The DANGER and/or INTRIGUE!
DRACO – Look, we don't have time to argue, you'll just have to
trust me.
GINNY – I find that dangerous.
HARRY – And yet, I'm intrigued.
The ANGST!
NEVILLE - I don't have parents.
HARRY - Word.
Feel the PAIN of your favorite characters!
HAGRID – My name is Rubeus, an' I 'ave a problem with alc'ol.
A.A. MEMBERS – Hi, Hagrid!
Experience their JOY!
REMUS – Push, Ron, push!
MIDWIFE – It's a girl!
RON – Does she have a tail? Sharp teeth? Bloodthirsty
eyes?
MIDWIFE – Not so far as I can tell.
REMUS/RON – Hurrah!
Coming
soon to an asylum near you. Check local listings.
