Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter. I’m only doing evil things with the characters.
She
watched from her bedroom window with dark eyes as he strode across the lawn, mussed
ebony hair whipping in the summer wind, broom clenched in his fist. His back
was to her, straight as a steel rod, his spine never giving way to gravity. He
walked swiftly towards the woods near her family’s house, and she knew he
wouldn’t be back for hours, not until the last possible moment. Her mother
would worry; her brothers would wonder. She would leave him be.
Harry
needed to be let alone; she understood that. After her experience in the
Chamber of Secrets, she hadn’t talked to anyone at home for almost a month.
Granted, this was slightly different than that summer three years ago; she
hadn’t lost someone to death like Harry had. Sirius was gone, and who knew how
long it would be until Harry accepted it. She didn’t know.
He
needed help. He didn’t speak; he barely ate a thing, no matter how hard her
mother tried. Not even Quidditch interested him
anymore. All he did was sit in the lawn, or go into the woods and fly his Firebolt in solitude, above the ancient pines and oaks. She
wanted to help. She hated seeing him like this. It pained her to no end. But it
wasn’t her place. She had to leave that to Ron and Hermione. No matter what
experiences she shared with them, they were Harry’s closest friends, the only
ones he could confide in. She was just his best friend’s little sister.
Ginny
turned away, pushing her errant hair from her face, back to the retreating
figure disappearing from the view of her window, and pushed him from her mind.
Here it was almost the end of July, and she’d only written one letter to Dean
since the end of term. He would grouse at her lack of attention towards him if
she didn’t send another one soon.
~*~
She
watched him from behind her lashes as he picked at his food during supper. Her
brothers were around her, being their usual boisterous selves, trying to ignore
Harry’s lack of participation in the fun. Her parents were looking from each
other to Harry and back, talking through their eyes and expressions, and
berating their sons when one would go too far in the antics. It seemed like a
normal Weasley supper, with the laughs, the food, the
company; but appearances can be deceiving.
He
didn’t notice a thing that was going on. His eyes were cast at his plate,
watching with an unseeing gaze as he pushed the appetizing meal around on his
plate. Mrs. Weasley had made all his favorite foods
for every meal since he had arrived three days ago, but he barely touched his
dish. Everyone saw; no one said a word to him about it.
Ginny
wanted to say something, anything. But he needed time. And she couldn’t anyway.
It would embarrass the both of them, and she did not need her brothers to catch
wind of any of her concerns. She would never live it down.
Suddenly,
Ron nudged his best friend. “Aren’t you hungry, mate?” he asked nonchalantly,
gaze going from Harry’s full plate of food to the startled, empty green stare.
There
was a pause in the action at the table. Ginny gaped slightly at her closest
brother, amazed. Ron, the thickest of all her brothers, had done the
unimaginable: tried to be sensitive. He was trying to draw Harry out, make him
interact. She could hardly believe it.
Harry
stared at Ron for a moment, then looked away. “I’m not
really hungry, actually. Great food, though,” he replied quietly.
Ron looked dejected at his failure. Mrs. Weasley looked as if she might cry for a moment. The
tension in the small dining room overwhelmed Ginny; she could hardly sit in her
place across from the only dark head in the room. She wanted to run, forget
Harry was here, forget she still felt for him. It was
too hard to swallow. She had Dean. She didn’t need Harry. Harry needed himself.
Abruptly,
she stood up from her seat. Her movement startled everyone at the table, and
Harry lifted his eyes to hers, seeing something she couldn’t place swimming in
the green irises. She swallowed hard, and pasted on a tired grin. “Lovely supper, Mum. I’m a bit tired, so I think I’ll head
upstairs. See you all later,” she commented, voice mockingly cheerful, and
walked out of the room, plate in hand. She dropped her dishes in the sink, and
rushed out the kitchen door into the garden.
The
warm night air flew into her lungs, and she exhaled, collapsing onto a bench,
taking deep breaths as the stars twinkled down on her in the midnight sky. A half-moon hung
low on the horizon, yellow with the summer glow, casting a muted silver light
around her as she sat alone, driving all thoughts from her mind. It hurt to
think this much.
She
had been on the bench for a little while, calming herself in the silence of the
yard, when she heard the aggravated strains of Ron’s voice as he moved about in
his room. He was most likely speaking to Harry, trying to get him out from his
shell of grief and silence. She felt odd listening to the conversation, and she
wanted to move from under her brother’s window, but was too relaxed to move
from her bench.
“Harry,
what do you think? Honestly, Dean? Bloody hell if he’s good enough for her.”
Ginny’s
eyes bugged open. Talking about her and Dean? Who the hell did that idiot think
he was? He had to be the thickest person around. Harry wouldn’t take part in a
conversation about her and Dean. It didn’t matter to him what she did. Ron was
a bloody prat for bringing it up!
“She
could do a lot better than Dean. He’s a nice bloke and all, but not good enough
for her. Harry, I don’t like this one damn bit!”
She
rolled her eyes. Bloody hell, Harry wasn’t going to listen to this. Why would
he? She made a mental note to fill Ron’s sock drawer with spiders in the
morning. That would show him. Stupid git.
There
was silence above her. She sighed in relief. Thank Merlin that was over!
“I
don’t think she really likes him, Ron.”
Her
shock at hearing Harry voluntarily speak more than four words at a time was so
great that she gasped rather loudly. It took a moment more for her to realize
what he actually said. Her disbelief at that was so strong that she promptly
fell off the bench onto the grass.
Ron
must have been gaping like a beached fish, because there was a moment of
silence after Harry’s sentence. Then, she could hear him cough. “Really, Harry?
Good. Maybe this will all be over before the summer ends. Feel up to a game of
chess?”
Ginny
was in such a state that she tuned out Harry’s curt reply
completely. She lay back in the grass, slinging an arm over her eyes, and tried
to grasp the last minute or so of her life. Harry didn’t think she really liked
Dean. That meant that Harry had been paying attention to her actions over the
past few days. Why did Harry care about what she did?
Had she been missing something in his behavior since his arrival?
She
didn’t have any answers. Neither did the grass, the trees, the bench, or the
stars. She should know. She asked them all before finally racing up to her room
to a sleepless night.
~*~
She
was mortified. Never again would she leave the bathroom without being fully
dressed. Never again would she shower while he was in the house. Merlin, she’d
kill herself as soon as she got back to her room.
Harry
stood in the hall about one foot from her, looking down on her. She was flat on
her back, wincing, eyes shut tightly to block his eyes, a towel wrapped around
her body.
A very short towel that only came down to
mid-thigh.
She
cursed her brothers violently inside her head. Did they even take into account
the fact that she, as a girl, could not wrap her towel around her waist? Damn
slimy gits. This was entirely their fault. They
always used up the larger towels because they were so damn tall! Damn them.
Above
her, she could hear the beginnings of a chuckle. A deep,
quiet chuckle that she hadn’t heard for many a day. She cracked an eye
open, feeling a light blush on her cheeks, and saw Harry’s mouth quirking up
into an amused grin as he looked at her toweled form. She froze, shocked. Harry
was smiling of his own accord. Both her eyes popped open, and the two teens
stared at each other, one slightly more pink than the other.
Suddenly,
Harry laughed. It was soft, but it was there. And, no matter how flushed she
was, lying on the floor in a towel, Ginny could safely brag that she’d---not
Ron or Fred or George---she’d made Harry Potter laugh for the first time since
they left him at King’s Cross over a month ago. Even in her uncomfortable
position, she could fully appreciate that fact, and wonder about it.
He
shook his head, and leaned down, lifting her by the waist. She clutched at her
towel, praying to every deity in the high heavens that it stayed exactly where
it was. His hands were wide, callused, and he was quite strong. The growth
spurt he had had over the past few months had filled him out a bit, and she
could tell as she leaned against him, steadying herself. Quidditch
had made him strong, and she could fully appreciate the effect it had had in
his muscles. She was appreciating a lot in that short moment.
In
the back of her mind, she realized that this was a wretchedly inappropriate
situation for a girl who had a boyfriend, but she was drowned out by a voice
inside herself that was screaming, “HARRY IS HOLDING YOU, WITH YOU IN NOTHING
BUT A TOWEL! WHEE!”
She
felt decidedly warm as he set her on her feet, taking his hands from her waist,
and grinning at her. His eyes were twinkling at her, emerald fire that she
hadn’t seen for a long time, and a feeling of…pride filtered in through her
system. She had made Harry laugh, just by running into him and falling to the
floor in nothing but a towel. Somehow she doubted Ron could do something like
that.
“Are
you all right, Ginny?” Harry asked, the humor still in
his voice.
She
smiled slightly, crossing her arms over her chest. Merlin, she had to be as red
as a tomato by now. “A bit bumped, but fine. I’m terribly sorry for running
into you, Harry.”
Not.
He
grinned. “That was an accident? Damn. And here I go thinking it was your
birthday gift to me.”
She
blushed harder, if it was humanly possible. She had forgotten it was his
birthday.
He
smiled slightly at her face, liking the way her hair was strewn around her
shoulders, matching the color of her skin at the moment. All had been forgotten
once he had felt the impact of her form against him, and seen her tumble to the
floor in naught but the short white towel. For a moment, he could barely remember
his own name. All he knew was that this was the best present he had ever
received. Well, except for maybe his Firebolt...
She
saw his mouth harden, his eyes close off, and her heart plummeted. It was his
birthday. He wouldn’t be getting anything from Sirius, and he’d just realized
it. She gazed at him softly as he stepped back from her, eyes going to the
floor, back straight and unwilling once more. And her mind gave a little sigh
of sadness as she remembered Dean’s letter had come this morning, and she
needed to answer it.
Harry
cleared his throat. “I’m glad you’re all right, Ginny. See you at breakfast,”
he said quietly, and turned away to head downstairs.
Ginny
leaned against the wall, watching him go. Somehow, she really didn’t feel like
talking to Dean right now.
~*~
Ginny
sighed as she brushed the soot off her clothes, waiting for Ron to come out of
the fireplace at the Leaky Cauldron. Harry was already there, leaning against a
wall in a darker corner of the pub. He was completely blank, closed off to
anyone who tried to look. But, Ginny could see edges of grief around his face,
and it pained her. He hadn’t really smiled since their run-in on the second
floor on his birthday, and that had been over a week ago. Of course, he had
smiled and thanked everyone for their gifts that night, but everyone could tell
his heart wasn’t in it. Frankly, her heart hadn’t been in it, either.
The
letter she had got from Dean was something she had expected, but didn’t need to
see right then. He had wanted to break up. The distance was getting to him, and
he had found another girl closer to him: Parvati Patil, actually. She had always liked Parvati,
and didn’t begrudge anything to her at all. The two had seemed to like each
other a bit, and Ginny had always wondered why Dean had asked her out to begin
with. So, she’d written back a friendly reply, saying it was all right, and she
hoped Parvati would make him happier. It had gone
over well with him, and they’d agreed to stay friends. Of course, they’d been
friends to begin with, and they actually hadn’t done anything during their
short-lived relationship. Still, as fine as she was with it, Ginny had been
gloomy the rest of the day. Female reaction, she supposed. By the next morning
she’d been fine again.
No
one in her family knew yet, except her mother, so she was still getting teased
about not being “Ickle Ginny-winny”
anymore. She didn’t mind it, so she didn’t bother to correct anyone. But since
they were getting their school supplies at Diagon
Alley today, she was sure the cat would be out of the bag, since she knew this
was the day Dean was going to be here, and they were sure to see him with Parvati.
There
was a flaring up of green in the fireplace, and Ron fell out, running a hand
through his hair, and brushing off his robes. “Sorry I took so long, mate,” he
said to Harry quickly. “Mum was being Mum.”
Harry
shrugged, and nodded. Ginny sighed again. “Ready, Ron? It’s already noon. We’re supposed to meet
Hermione now,” she reminded her brother, grabbing his arm, and dragging him out
into the sunshine. Harry followed them out, and the three weaved their way
through the bustling street, silent as they made their way to Flourish and Botts.
At
the entrance, she saw the familiar bushy head, and grinned. “Hermione!”
Hermione
turned, waved, and rushed over. Ginny watched with smug satisfaction as the
older girl hugged her brother tightly, Ron’s eyes popping out as he noticed how
Hermione had filled out during the summer. Ginny grinned. Her brother had to be
the thickest guy around if he couldn’t see how much Hermione liked him.
Harry
got a quick hug, too, and then Hermione unexpectedly embraced Ginny. She didn’t
expect that; the Trio was back together, so she just reckoned she would slink
off, and let them be together. Obviously, Hermione had other ideas. She slipped
an arm through Ginny’s elbow, and waved to the two boys. “Come on, you two!
Let’s go get our books! Honestly, I’m looking forward to this year quite a
bit,” she exclaimed cheerfully.
“Of
course you are, Hermione. It wouldn’t be you if you didn’t look forward to
learning,” Ron teased, poking Hermione in the arm.
Ginny
rolled her eyes. Here they go again.
“And
just what is that supposed to mean, Ron?” the brown-haired girl asked heatedly
as they entered the bookshop.
Ginny
shook her head, ignoring Ron’s response, and detached herself from Hermione’s
grip. She slipped off unnoticed to the back of the store, and pulled out her
booklist, ready to browse. She could hear Hermione and Ron arguing over on the
other side of the shop, and she groaned. “I feel so sorry for you, Harry,” she
murmured to herself, reaching up to grab a book.
“Why?”
She
let out a squeal, and dropped her arm, turning sharply to see Harry standing
behind her. There was an odd look in his eye as he looked at her, a look of
curiosity and displeasure that she had never seen before. She craned her neck
to look at him, and leaned against the bookshelf. “Excuse me?”
“Why
do you feel sorry for me?” he repeated, stepping closer to her. She could feel
his breath on her skin, and she shivered, searching his gaze. He was unhappy
with her. Why?
Abruptly,
it hit her. All his life everyone had pitied him: his life, the death of his
parents, the things he had to do to survive. Now, he would be pitied for the
loss of his godfather. The one thing he hated, other than being a celebrity,
was being pitied. And now he thought she pitied him the same as everyone else
She
took a deep breath, and smiled at him cheekily. “Because you
have the most argumentative friends in the world, Harry. I would hate to
get stuck in the middle of them all the time,” she replied cheerfully, assuring
him with her gaze. I don’t pity you. I
want to help you.
He
stared at her in minute shock for a moment, and then let out a chuckle. She
gaped. That was the second time she had made Harry laugh of his own volition.
Maybe this would become a trend of some sort.
He
grinned slightly at her. “They are difficult, aren’t they? Sometimes I have the
urge to just shove them both in a cupboard and not let them out until they’ve
admitted they like each other.”
She
laughed lightly. “A novel idea! She’ll be with us for
the next two weeks. Let’s do it.”
“You’re
on.” His grin stretched across his face, making his eyes light up in amusement.
“We can only hope your mother doesn’t kill me.”
“Oh,
she won’t. She likes you too much. She’ll say that I have led you down the path
of sin, and get angry at me,” she said, tone mock-serious.
Something
flitted into his eyes, and he stepped closer to her, robes brushing against
hers. “Led me down the path of sin, have you? I feel like I’ve missed the
trip,” he murmured roughly, eyes darkening into black as he watched her face.
Her
heart pounded, and she took a few very deep breaths. Her veins were filled with
liquid fire, making her feel very much like a phoenix as it’s engulfed by the
flames that end its life. She felt like she was about to end, and take the
whole bookshop with her. His mouth was getting very close to hers...much too
close...extremely close...
“Oi! Harry! Where’d you go?”
Harry
reeled away from her, breathing shallowly. Their eyes met, and Ginny felt weak
as she saw the darkness floating in their green depths. Her knees wobbled, and
she knew that if he didn’t look away, she would faint right there.
Ron
rounded the shelf, looking curiously at his best friend and his sister. “Why
are you over here, mate? Hermione’s found all our
books on this side of the shelf.”
Harry
tore his eyes from Ginny, and looked at his friend. “I...I was just wondering
if Ginny needed any help,” he supplied lamely.
Ron
raised an eyebrow, but shrugged. “All right, then. Ready,
Ginny?”
She
shook her head, looking down at her list. “I just need one book off of here.
I’ll find it quick, I promise,” she said softly, looking down at the floor.
“Ok,
Ginny. C’mon, Harry. Hermione’s waiting.” Ron turned away, headed towards the
cashier’s area.
Ginny
felt Harry brush by her and her stomach churned. She had been so close to him,
so very close. Now, she couldn’t even meet his eyes. It was like being eleven
again, squeaking and hiding as she saw him come near. At least before this she
could meet his gaze and have an intelligent conversation with him. Now...she
wasn’t sure what to do.
Quickly,
she found her book and joined them in the queue. Ron and Hermione carried the
conversation as they paid, not even noticing that Ginny and Harry were
completely silent, he watching her, she watching the floor. When they stepped
back out into the street, they set off to Leaky Cauldron to get some lunch,
stopping to talk to classmates on the way. Ginny could see Dean and Parvati walking out of the doorway to the pub, hand in
hand, and she moaned softly, grabbing at the back on Ron’s robes. “Ron, let’s
go somewhere else, please?” she asked hurriedly, but it was too late.
Ron
turned to Ginny, outrage all over his face. “That’s your bloody boyfriend over
there, Ginny! With another girl!”
Hermione
gasped, wide-eyed. Harry looked rather murderously towards the smiling Dean,
and Ginny felt a small bit of pleasure at the sight. But, she shoved that away,
and looked at Ron. “No, it’s not. It’s Dean with his girlfriend, Ron,” she said
calmly, feeling a headache coming on.
Ron’s
eyes bugged out. “But, you’re his girlfriend!”
“No,
I’m not.”
She
had never felt so silly in her life, being interrogated by her brother with his
two closest friends watching carefully. But she brought this upon herself, so
she had to deal with it. “We’re not together anymore.”
Hermione
gasped again as Ron goggled at her, and Harry looked almost triumphant. “Oh, Ginny! When?” Hermione asked,
patting her hand.
Ginny
sighed. “Since Harry’s birthday. I didn’t want to ruin
it, so I didn’t tell anyone, and then I just...” she trailed off.
Ron
suddenly gave a sigh of relief. “Thank bloody Merlin.”
Hermione
smacked him as Harry tried to cover up a snicker. “Honestly! Ginny, are you all
right?” she queried, shooting a glare at a cheerful Ron.
“I’m
fine, Hermione. I guess...” She looked up at Harry. “I guess I didn’t really
like him that way,” she finished slowly, watching as the meaning of her words
dawned in Harry’s eyes. They were the words he said to Ron about the whole
thing. She didn’t know how he would take that, but it was said.
Ron
shrugged. “Fine with me, as long as you choose a bit better next time, all
right?”
Hermione
rolled her eyes. “Honestly, Ron! Can’t you be a bit more sensitive...” Her words trailed away as the two of them walked into the
pub, leaving Harry and Ginny outside, looking at each other.
Harry
cleared his throat. “I’m sorry about Dean,” he said, not sounding very sorry at
all.
She
smiled. “Don’t be. I’m not.”
There
was silence between them as they were jostled by hurried wizards and witches,
gazing at each other carefully. She wanted to jump and scream in frustration,
leap into his arms, and kiss him so hard the breath would be knocked out of
him. But she didn’t, and finally he went inside, motioning to her to follow.
She watched the door shut on his back, and wondered if that was all she’d ever
see of him anymore: his back as he walked away.
~*~
That
cupboard really did sound like a good idea.
Ginny
could barely stand the sounds of another Ron and Hermione fight. And yet, there
it was, not even noon, and they were at it
again, in the part of the garden below her room. They had just hit the five-minute
mark, and were still going strong. As
usual, Harry was stuck in the middle of it, and he looked like he was going to
double over in laughter very, very soon. Ginny watched the three of them from
her window, and sighed. Yes, that cupboard sounded like a lovely idea. With a
week left until they all had to leave for Hogwarts, peace would be a welcome
thing at The Burrow.
Suddenly,
in an unexpected action, Hermione wheeled on Harry, who was choking with
laughter as he sat on a bench and watched. “And how are you really doing,
Harry?” she asked angrily, red-faced.
Harry
froze. Ron goggled at Hermione, looking slightly relieved to be out of harm’s
way. Ginny’s breath caught, and she let out a groan of displeasure. Not the right thing to say, Hermione. Not
the right thing at all...
“I’m
fine, Hermione,” Harry said evenly, all humor aside.
“You
bloody well aren’t, Harry,” she shrieked. Ron fell to the ground in shock when
he heard the curse fly out of her mouth. She continued on. “You’ve got to talk
to someone, Harry! Bottling up everything won’t help you at all!”
“Don’t
tell me what will help and what won’t help, Hermione! You haven’t lost anyone
because of your own stupidity, so don’t think you can have any idea of what I’m
going through,” he roared, standing up and looking so furious that Ginny wanted
to cower. ‘Heaven help Voldemort, when Harry gets his hands on him.;
Hermione’s
look softened, and she reached out. “Harry, please talk to me,” she pleaded.
“Ron and I are worried about you.”
“You
shouldn’t be. I’m fine,” he retorted curtly, and walked off, headed for the
forests once more. Ginny could make out his Firebolt in his clenched hand. He walked away,
back straight as a ramrod.
Through
her shock, she could hear Hermione sniffle, and Ron do the most sensitive thing
he’d ever done in his whole life: he comforted her, and hugged her as she cried
softly. Ginny could hardly believe it; but there were more pressing things at
hand. She didn’t want to leave Harry alone right now. Feeling slightly
possessed, she ran out of her room, flew down the stairs, and headed off to the
forest after him.
He
was in the clearing she liked so much, surrounded by pine trees many times
older than Dumbledore. She stayed near the edge, taking a seat against a trunk,
and watched as he dived carelessly, letting his feet skim the grass before
swinging upward in time to avoid a tree trunk. He was fluid, graceful; he
looked like he had been born on a broom. It was beautiful to watch, and Ginny followed
his every move, seeing how dangerous his grief made him. Every muscle in his
body was attuned to the broom. He looked more handsome up there against the sun
then she had ever seen him look before. He was dark, brooding, and angry; she
loved every second of it.
Soon
after she arrived, he landed near her, locking his gaze with her chocolate
eyes. His gaze wasn’t empty anymore; it was full of dark fury and pain. She
scrambled to her feet nervously as he ate away the distance between them with
his wide stride, wondering idly if this would be better if she were in a towel.
“Did
you come here to talk?” he asked harshly as he came up to her, trapping her
against the tree trunk. His eyes were wild, his hair even crazier, and he
gripped his broom with white knuckles.
She
licked her lips, and shook her head. “No, I didn’t come to talk. I came so you
wouldn’t be alone,” she replied softly, not able to pull her stare from his
eyes.
He
dropped the Firebolt to the ground, and grabbed her
shoulders. “Good. I don’t want to talk,” he murmured hoarsely.
She
gasped as he pinned her to the tree with his lean body, slid his hands down her
bare arms, and slanted his mouth over hers. Her body went limp in his arms, her
hands sliding up to wrap around his neck, pulling him even closer to her. One
callused hand came up to cup her cheek, and she closed her eyes, surrendering
to the dark frenzy overwhelming her as his mouth moved over hers. He opened
himself to her, and everything he felt flowed into her as she let him enter her
mouth.
It
was painful, hurtful, full of self-loathing. His grief
became her own, and she could feel his suffering, his dark, overwhelming anger
towards everyone and everything that was happy and whole. He had a huge gap
within himself, and she saw the hurts he had endured throughout his life from
his uncle’s family, students, teachers, Voldemort. It
was all she could do not to cry, because she was so struck by the depth of his
pain. She loved him for being this dark, brooding man with so much suffering,
who still could live his life.
She
felt his hand in her hair, releasing it from the neat ponytail it had been in,
letting it fall around her face. His other hand was trailing lightly up and
down her side, teasing the flesh beneath her shirt. Her hands were tangling in
the hair at the nape of his neck. She was burning up, engulfing the clearing in
flame, losing herself in the dark taste of his mouth, forgetting to breathe,
merging into him. And, suddenly she couldn’t breathe. She had no more air left
in her lungs, and he seemed to have the same problem. She didn’t want to let
him go, not after such a long time getting through to him.
They
couldn’t stay the way they were any longer. Their lips broke apart harshly, and
she opened her glazed eyes, meeting his fiery emerald irises bravely. His hand
stayed on her waist; her fingers were still ensnared in his hair. They were
breathing shallowly, hearts pounding in unison. A flush held both their faces,
and Ginny didn’t know what to do. He wanted more; she could see that in his
eye. Why did he want her? Why was he doing this?
Suddenly,
a low groan escaped his mouth, and he leaned down to her again. She met him
halfway, giving herself up to his ravenous mouth.
It
was still dark, but she could feel something softer in his attack, like he
wanted to savor her. She knew that this was a bad position to be in, especially
since her five brothers were notorious for sneaking up on her when least
expected. She didn’t care; this was too wonderful to care about her family
right now. She never wanted to leave this forest, never wanted Harry to leave
her arms.
She
felt him begin to retreat behind his usual wall; he wanted to hide again. He
hated exposure, and she had to make it better. She tightened her hold on him,
poured everything she had into their kiss. He held on for a moment longer
before releasing her lips, bringing his head up from hers. His gaze was
frightening naked, baring everything to her, and for a spilt second, she saw
something she had only dreamed she’d see in his eyes: he liked her more than
she thought.
Then,
it was gone, and the only sign she had of his being flustered was his heavy
breathing. His eyes were empty once more, and he took his hands from her body,
leaving her weak-kneed against the tree, feeling rather cold without his warmth
near her. She gazed at him, pleading for something, anything.
He
reached out, and touched her cheek. “Ginny...I don’t know what...I...” He was
too flustered to make up a rational sentence. He wanted to explain it away.
Ginny
prayed her legs would keep steady, and she walked the few steps to him.
Standing in her tip-toes, she leaned up and kissed his cheek, smiling slightly.
“Harry, if you want to talk, you know where I am,” she murmured, voice husky
with feeling.
He
watched her back away slowly from him with a mixture of amazement and longing,
and she smiled crookedly before turning away back to the house. She waited
until she was safely in her own room before bursting into tears, falling to her
bed and praying that he would talk to her soon. That kiss had let everything
out, and she had never felt so exposed in her life. If only the exposure was a
good thing.
~*~
She
flipped over onto her stomach, trying to ignore the soft breathing coming from
the other side of her room as she tried to go to sleep. It was one
o’clock
in the morning. She should be dreaming blissfully by now. But, alas, no such
luck. Bloody kiss. Bloody holiday. Bloody
boy. Bloody hell.
Ginny
heaved a sigh, and sat up in bed, looking decidedly cross. She didn’t want to
be awake; that would mean thinking about Harry, and she didn’t want to do that.
She wanted to sleep, but nothing could make her sleep. She tried sheep, hot
milk, reading Hogwarts, A History; nothing would work. She was doomed to be
awake until this issue of Harry of resolved.
It
didn’t seem like the issue of Harry would be resolved anytime soon.
She
had avoided him the rest of the day, which wasn’t hard to do, because he was
avoiding her, too. She had played jokes on Bill with Fred and George, discussed
Quidditch with Ron, got some tales about a dragon or
two from Charlie, and then spent the rest of the day commiserating with
Hermione on the thickness of men. A productive day, all in
all. Except for one thing:
She
had not got to kiss Harry senseless at all.
It
was a contradictory train of thought, she knew. She wanted to avoid Harry, but
she also wanted to kiss the living daylights out of him. She wondered if he
felt the same way. And then, she promptly collapsed on her back, marveling at
her idiocy. She rolled onto her side, facing the wall, and sighed. Life had
been a lot simpler twenty-four hours ago.
Suddenly,
a hand went over her mouth, and she let out a tiny squeal of shock. Someone
swung their arm over her waist, and pulled her to their lean, muscled form.
“Shut up before Hermione wakes up,” she heard Harry’s voice hiss, and her eyes
popped.
“Harry?”
she whispered from behind his hand, craning her neck to one side to see him.
There was nothing behind her. She gasped quietly, causing him to groan in
frustration. She paid him no mind. “Harry, where are you?”
“Can’t
you tell?” he muttered, pulling her to his chest more tightly.
She
blushed hotly, thanking the gods that it was dark. “Well...yes and no, Harry.
Why can’t I see you?”
There
was a quiet rustling, and suddenly Harry's dark head popped out from the air,
grinning rakishly at her. "Hello."
His
hand muffled her scream, and she smacked the arm holding her to his body.
"Bloody hell, Harry," she exclaimed through his hand. "You have
an Invisibility Cloak!"
"Handy,
isn't it?" he whispered cheekily. "How do you think I get to have so
much fun at Hogwarts?"
She
giggled quietly, and rolled onto her other side to face him. At the look in his
eyes, a warm blush began on her face again, and suddenly, she remembered that
Harry was in her bed in the middle of the night. In an
Invisibility Cloak. Looking like he wanted to...
"Harry,
why are you here?" she asked softly, cutting off her thoughts before they
could continue in that vein.
He
gazed at her. "I wanted to talk."
"Now?"
she inquired incredulously.
He
looked ruffled. "Well, you said any time I needed to talk, you'd be there,
so I..." he trailed off, and it seemed to Ginny that he was
blushing---though she couldn't really tell.
"Well,
yes, but I thought you would wait for a more reasonable hour. Like
daytime," she replied gently.
He
looked at her miserably. "If you want me to go, I will."
She
shook her head, and sat up, pulling him with her. The cloak fell off, and she
found him wearing only pajama bottoms underneath. Her heart skipped a beat, but
she refrained from staring with some restraint. "No, Harry. If you want to
talk, talk to me. I wasn't getting any sleep anyway," she added
wryly.
"You too? We're doomed," he
moaned, dramatically swooning and leaning his forehead against her shoulder.
She smiled at nothing in particular, and
lifted his face from her skin. "We should probably talk somewhere else,
though. Away from the people who are sleeping," she muttered
enviously.
Harry
grinned, and pulled her off the bed, wrapping his cloak around the both of
them. "C'mon."
They
left the room silently, walking down the hall towards the stairs as quietly as
possible. Getting down the stairs was a trick, because of the creakiness of the
old wood, but Harry solved that by picking Ginny up and carrying her down,
eliminating her chances of making a noise.
It
was an odd feeling to be carried by him, and she could barely keep herself
calm. One of her arms was wrapped loosely around his neck, and she began to
idly play with the hair at the nape of his neck. She felt a shiver slip through
him, and halted reluctantly. Too much, too fast.
Talking first, then snogging.
When
the pair reached the living room, Harry gently let her down on her feet, and
led her in towards an overstuffed chair by the fireplace. She took a seat, and
was surprised when he plopped down next to her. There was enough room for both
of them in the chair, but having him stretched out along her did not help to
keep her mind on present issues.
There
was a minute or two of silence, and Ginny wondered whether he was actually
going to speak. She was just about to give him a prod in the right direction
when his voice, soft and tired, filled her ears.
"He
was the closest thing I've ever had to a father. He was a bit more like a
teenager than an adult, but that's what made him great. Anyone could relate to
him---well, almost anyone."
Harry
paused, looking straight into the fireplace. Ginny watched his profile
carefully, leaning against him in an act of comfort. She realized how difficult
it was from him to speak like this, and he needed to know that it was all
right.
He
smiled slightly. "It was like having my father back, or at least the
person I thought of as my father. That's something I really appreciated. Sirius
watched over me, worried for me, cared for me. I guess that's really why he's
dead." His voice caught in his throat.
She
touched his shoulder. "You didn't know. It was an act of instinct to go to
him when you thought he was in danger. No matter how it looks, you were just
being you," she said softly.
A
harsh laugh left his mouth. "Yes, me. A stupid
boy searching for trouble, looking for danger, trying
to be the hero."
She
wanted to weep. How could he see that when he looked at himself? "No,
Harry. A man who wanted to save a loved one; born into danger, trying to find a
way out of it; a normal man who just wants to live his life in peace," she
replied thickly, forcing her tears down into her throat.
He
turned his face to look at her glittering eyes, the expression on his face one
of pain. "I didn't ask for this," he rasped. "I didn't want
this."
She
smiled crookedly, and slipped her hand into his. "I've never thought you
did," she answered honestly, heart bursting with love for this dark,
tortured man.
"What
if everyone I love dies because of who I am, Ginny?"
She
paused, meeting his gaze with blurred eyes. It was an honest question. It
deserved her honest answer. "They won't die because of you, Harry,"
she started slowly. "They'll die for you."
Harry
grasped her hand tightly, rendered beyond words. The clock in the hall chimed
one-thirty as they sat in silence, feeling each other out, waiting for the
other to speak. Ginny, who had been waiting in acute discomfort for a reply,
was about to blurt out something she knew she'd regret when he spoke again.
"I
don't want you to die for me, Ginny," he said hoarsely, taking her other
hand. "I'd rather die for you."
Whatever
Ginny was expecting from Harry, that was not it. She
forgot to breathe. She forgot to think. She just stared at him, mouth slightly agape,
and tried to figure out just what to say to that.
I'd rather die for you.
Merlin,
she wanted to die right there. Did that mean...what she thought it might
mean...?
In
her bewilderment, she even forgot Harry was sitting next to her, looking very
uncomfortable, possibly blushing like a Weasley. And
only when he made a move to disentangle their fingers did she realize what had
happened. Harry would die for her. He fancied her a bit more than she’d
realized.
Panicking,
she clutched his hands in hers, stopping him from moving an inch from her.
Their eyes met; hers were wild, his were miserable. "Harry, you dying for
me would be a waste of your life," she murmured.
"Why?"
he asked roughly.
She
squeezed his hands, and leaned over to touch her forehead to his. "Because I would die anyway. I can't live without you
around me, Harry," she replied softly.
It
was like she had told him he had become the captain of the Quidditch
team. His eyes lit up, and suddenly she was wrapped tightly in his arms, cheek
against his bare chest, and he was whispering something incoherent in her ear,
breath hitting her skin in lazy spurts. She shivered, and curled into his
warmth, slipping her arms around his neck, and pulled herself up his form to
look into his eyes. She had to know what was going on, because she was highly
confused. Fairly happy, but highly confused.
"Harry,
are you telling me that what happened this afternoon wasn't an accident?"
she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
She
could see his blush, even in the dim light. "No, it wasn't. I'm sorry if I
hurt you, but---"
She
covered his mouth with her hand, glaring mockingly at him. "If you ever
say you're sorry for today ever again, I'll hex you faster than you can say Quidditch," she warned, grinning despite her
words.
He
kissed her palm, and when she removed it, he smiled impishly. "I know
enough of your temper to know that you'd do it."
"Harry,"
she said seriously, "why me? What have I done to make you like
me?"
He
smirked. "Walking around in that towel certainly helped."
She
smacked his shoulder lightly. "I'm serious!"
"So
am I," he shot back, causing her to smack him again, this time a bit
harder. He chuckled. "You make me laugh, Ginny. You've been able to make me
laugh this summer without even realizing it. It’s just something about you that
makes me happy."
She
pondered his words for a moment, and sighed. "I think that is the most
sensitive thing you have ever said in your life, Harry," she commented
proudly.
He
raised an ebony eyebrow. "Have you known me all my life?"
"From
what I've seen of you, I gather you don't say sensitive, deep things
often," she retorted cheerfully, settling in his lap.
Harry
grinned rakishly, a mischievous glimmer appearing in his eye. "I might not
say them, but I certainly do them," he murmured, trailing a finger up and
down her spine. She shivered, feeling his fingertip through the thin material
of her nightdress.
"I'll
give you that," she said in a low tone, lifting her face upward as he
leaned down.
This
time when their lips met, it was gentle and slow, making her pulse rise and
fall with each movement of his mouth against hers. She felt only joy now; the
grief and darkness from their last kiss was pushed away, palpable but
overlooked as a more thorough exploration began on both sides.
Ginny
felt the liquid fire race through her veins, and she let out a soft moan,
tangling her fingers in his hair as he stroked her side with one hand and
cupped her cheek with the other. She pressed against him, and let herself be
lost inside the senses he evoked in her, spiraling into him as far as he would
let her. There was still a wall around the deepest parts of him, the parts she
had glimpsed in their kiss earlier, but she didn't worry about breaking him
down completely. She was content with giving him comfort for his grief, letting
him sense the depth of her feelings.
"Ginny,"
he breathed as they broke off for air, gasping softly. "What are we going
to do about your brothers?"
Dazed,
she gazed at him in confusion. What did her brothers have to do with anything?
He
raised an eyebrow. "Am I going to be subjected to a slow and painful death
if they find out I've been leading you down the path of sin?" he asked,
bringing back her words to him in the bookshop with a fond smile.
She
blushed, but retained her composure. "You might. We just won't tell
them," she stated defiantly, brushing a lock of ebony hair off his
forehead.
"What
about your parents?" he queried, running a finger along the curves of her
face.
She
shrugged, trying not to melt with the touch of his fingertip. "I don't
care, Harry. My parents adore you, and my mother’s probably been trying to get
us together since I was ten! My brothers can sod off."
"Easy for you to say. You're not the one
leading their baby sister down a path of sin," he grumbled cheerfully,
getting another light smack on the arm.
"They'll
get over it. I'm a big girl now. If I want to go down the path of sin, I
will," she replied, kissing his cheek gently.
He
smirked. "As long as you don't go down it with anyone but me, I'm
happy," he murmured, bringing his head down to nuzzle her neck lightly.
She
closed her eyes with a sigh, starting to get dragged down into his soul again. Then,
a thought suddenly hit her, and she pulled away from his mouth. "Harry,
about that path of sin we're traveling..."
Green
eyes met her in half-concern, half-worry. "Yes?"
She
grinned mischievously. "Don’t you think Ron and Hermione need to start down
it, too?" she asked innocently, watching the meaning of her words dawn in
his eyes.
He
gave her a salacious smile. "Tomorrow, Ginny.
Tomorrow," he whispered before pulling her mouth back up to his.
She
gave a happy little sigh. She knew the perfect cupboard, too.
~*~
"You bloody prat!
Harry, let me out!"
"Ginny, if you don't let me out of here
this second, I will tell Harry all about that time---"
Ginny
cast a quick Silencing Charm over the door of the linen cupboard, blushing furiously
as Harry quirked an eyebrow at her.
"Tell
me all about what time?"
She
smacked his arm, and crossed her arms over her chest. "She's just
babbling. Don't bring it up again," she warned, casting a murderous glare
at the silent closet.
Harry
grinned down at her, and pointed his wand at the door. "Finite Incantatem," he muttered, ending the charm.
She
groaned quietly, and wedged a chair underneath the doorknob before the two
arguing teens could escape the confines of the closet. "There. Good thing
we took their wands away," she commented quietly, sliding to the floor
across from the closet door.
Harry
sat down next to her, taking her hand loosely in his. "This should be a
good form of entertainment."
She
leaned her head on his shoulder, and sighed. Not twelve hours ago had she been
tossing and turning in bed, trying to find a way to sleep without thinking of
the boy next to her. Now, she was holding his hand, leading him down the
"path of sin" like she’d promised, and all was looking very amusing. She
giggled quietly, listening to Ron and Hermione bicker.
"This
must be your fault, because I don't understand why they would lock me in a
closet," Hermione said hotly.
"Oi! Why me? I bet Harry's
mad at you for what you said yesterday about his attitude," Ron retorted.
Ginny felt Harry tense up, and she moved closer to
him, resting her face in the crook of his neck.
Hermione
sniffed. "I apologized! I didn't mean it! It was your fault I said that in
the first place!"
"Me?
How do you reckon that, Miss-Know-It-All?"
"Because
you got me so irritated in the first place, you thick moron," she
shrieked, and Ginny could hear the smacking sound of skin against skin,
combined with Ron's cry of annoyance.
She
felt Harry shaking, and when she looked into his face, she could see him trying
to control his laughter. Her own mouth started to twitch, and she buried her
face in his shoulder, giggles escaping her lips uncontrollably. His arms
wrapped around her, and they sat in each other's arms, controlling their laughter
as best as possible as the bickering continued.
"Thick?
I am not thick!" Ron's tone was full of outrage.
"Yes
you are! You're even thicker than Harry, if you can't see what's right in front
of you," Hermione shot back, tears edging her voice.
There
was a minute of silence, and both Harry and Ginny looked up at each other. Was
this it? The moment of truth?
Ron
coughed. "What do you mean, Hermione?"
Hermione
heaved a sigh of frustration. "Honestly, Ron! What do you think I
mean?"
Ginny
rolled her eyes, and sighed. "How thick can you get?"
"Not
thicker than me, I think. Look how long it took me to notice you," Harry
remarked thoughtfully.
She
giggled softly. "Lord, Harry! When did you notice me?"
"When
I came back to The Burrow this summer," he answered immediately, lightly
flushed.
Ginny
shook her head. "I mean when did you actually start liking me?"
He
kissed the top of her head. "I've always liked you, Ginny, especially
since you sent me that Valentine," he said teasingly. She scowled at him,
and he grinned down at her. "But, it was the towel that really did it for
me, I think."
She
stared at him. "The towel? But I was still going
out with Dean when that incident happened!"
He
frowned at her in consternation. "Do you really think that would've
stopped me from kissing you yesterday?" he asked, arching a brow.
She
opened her mouth, stopped, and closed it again, blushing furiously as all Weasleys do. "That was the most embarrassing, exposing
moment in my life," she muttered, burying her face in his shirt to hide
her flaming cheeks.
He
chuckled. "It's one of my favorites. Ginny Weasley
in a towel: the turning point in my life," he intoned seriously,
tightening his hold on her.
She
sighed happily, curling into him, and tuned back into the conversation in the
closet.
"Why
didn't you just say something, Ron?" Hermione asked quietly.
"I
don't know...I was just nervous, I suppose," he muttered.
"Oh,
Ron," Hermione breathed.
And
then there was silence in the closet.
Ginny
stifled a giggle. "Maybe Ron's not quite as thick as I
thought."
Harry
snorted. "Shall I put that under 'Famous Last Words'?"
She
lifted her face and stuck her tongue out at him. "Shut it, you," she
warned playfully.
"Or what? You'll lead me down the
path of sin? Sorry, love. I've already been exposed to that." he
countered, leaning down to kiss her.
She
smiled against his lips. "Then you lead, because I’m frightfully tired of
pulling you along," she murmured as he touched his mouth to hers. A dark
moan left his throat, and he caught her mouth with his, sending shivers of
pleasure down her spine. As she matched him move for move, she sighed
blissfully inside her mind.
Thank god for towels.
Who knew they could expose so much?
A/N: Thanks to my SQ
beta Beth and my other beta Anne!