Notes and disclaimer:
All elements from the Harry Potter books belong to J.K. Rowling.
Besides J.K. Rowling's characters, there are some original and semi-original
(Miki Moon) characters featured in my story. You're welcome to use them
in your story, if you want to for some reason. ^_^ Just give me credit
in your author's note.
"Maybe what I did was wrong... Nah!" was said by Angelica on Rugrats.
Rugrats belongs to Nickelodeon.
All elements from Pokémon belong to Nintendo. And I'm sure Team Rocket's
motto is perfectly original! ^_^
I did my independent project (which, alas, unfortunately, wasn't independent
enough to spend hours coloring itself with cheap color pencils, and so
I had to do it) on Muses.
The following people contributed insults for Parvati to say (some of
them were used for Pansy! ^_^): Cairnsy, Fallen Angel, and Topaz. Thanks,
Cairnsy, Fallen Angel, and Topaz!
I got a lot of my character names from http://www.virtue.nu/misanthrope/names/
Thank you so, so much to Arabella of the awesome sugarquill.net for
beta reading this! Her comments were so valuable and helpful to me and
this story and I really appreciate the time she took to read this story,
especially as it's a bit long.
Enterprises of a Lipgloss Loving Gryffindor
Lavender didn't remember exactly which day it was of her month long visit
to Parvati that the inspiration for Team Chocolate Frog had sparked in
their minds... It had been a shared tug of duty at first that had evolved
into a series of conversations between the two... You-Know-Who had returned
and, from the owls they'd gotten, their fellow Gryffindors seemed to be
a bit out of spirit. But what could they do about it? And then suddenly
it had seemed so easy that they had almost wondered why they were the
first ones to think of it... But of course, they were the best ones for
the job. They would form a team of people to cheer up and protect the
Gryffindors! And, of course, they would on the team. They were the best
two divinators in their year (well, okay, so being good at divination
didn't have that much to do with anything, but still) and in the top portion
of their class, if lagging behind more obsessive students like Hermione...
And besides that, they were rather "nice girls, at least in most matters...
And wasn't it always "nice girls" that accomplished this sort of task?
So declarations had been made, schemes had been devised, and Miri Norton,
the daughter of a family friend of the Patils who was in the year below
Lavender at Hogwarts, had been enlisted as secretary... They spent the
rest of their summer poring over Muggle books: the well known and helpful
"How to Win Friends and Influence People" and "The Power of Empathy,"
as well as the less well known "Making Friends With Complete Gits: A Beginner's
Guide" and the less helpful "Curious George and the Dump Truck." And when
school started again in two weeks, they would be ready. But first they
had a short trip to take...
Olivia Paredes was a robe maker with a mission. Well, actually she wasn't...
She just told the customers that to distract them from drinking up all
the complimentary tea and pumpkin juice, but, nonetheless, she was a rather
good robe maker- in fact, she fancied herself one of the best in London-
though of course she never told anyone this. Today had been a quiet day
in her shop, less eloquently known as the second room in her flat. A few
fittings for school robes, a couple of pick ups... Nothing out of the
ordinary. But in few minutes she was expecting two young ladies who had
been rather reluctant to discuss what exactly they wanted when they had
met her at the Torres' garden party. And, if she wasn't mistaken, they
had just exited from a Muggle taxi and were preparing to climb the rather
steep stairs that led up to her flat. A few minutes later there was a
knock on the door.
Olivia opened the door, and found her self face to face, as is customary
when one opens doors that someone has knocked on, with her young customers.
They looked about sixteen, which was probably right, as, -and Olivia was
rather proud to know such a detail as this- they were starting their sixth
year at Hogwarts. Both were dressed in sunglasses and trench coats. They
removed their sunglasses, allowed their eyes to meet Olivia's, winked,
and then dissolved into giggles.
"Er," said Olivia. "How are you?"
The girls murmured something obligatory as they took off their trench
coats and followed Olivia into her "shop," where they took a seat on the
small couch. They were both about the same size and had gone to great
pains to assure that they looked as similar as they could. Both wore ordinary
red robes and had their hair cut to chin length.
The girl on the left had very pale, goldish hair and large blue eyes.
She looked slightly nervous, but was placating herself with a large bag
of candy from her handbag. She nudged the other girl, pointed to their
trench coats, which they had hung on Olivia's coat rack, and burst into
The other girl had chocolate brown skin, large brown eyes, and a handbag
identical to her friend's in everything but color. Her black hair was
slightly crimped, giving the impression it had been worn for a long time
in a braid of some sort. Which was probably right if she knew the Petals,
or whatever their names were... Olivia was never much at names...
"Er, so," said Olivia when the girls' giggling had subsided slightly,
"what can I do for you, er, Patty and Violet?"
"Parvati and Lavender," corrected the dark haired girl none too politely.
"Er, yes," said Olivia. "What can I do for you?"
The two girls made elaborate gestures and finally the dark haired girl,
Parvati, leaned forward in a confiding manner. "You see, we're on mission,"
she said, unknowingly stealing Olivia's main cost reduction strategy.
"There've been tough times at Hogwarts and a lot of our fellow students
are a bit wrapped up on this Voldemort fighting deal. We want to raise
Gryffindor's spirits! We're Team Chocolate Frog and we want to make a
difference! So you see, we'll be needing robes..."
"Ah," said Olivia supportively. "You've come to the right place, girls!"
"Ah, good!" said Lavender. "You see, the address you gave us got pumpkin
juice spilled on it and we really couldn't be quite sure whether it was
Pine Street or Vine Street you lived on, and when you opened the door
we were nearly sure that it was you, but there have been some nasty coincidences
with twins living on similar sounding streets and such and until now...
Ow, Parvati, stop jabbing me in the stomach with your elbow!"
"We'd like them in white, please," said Parvati, smiling sweetly. "And
with 'Team Chocolate Frog' printed on the back. And could you have them
done by next week or so?"
"Are you nervous, too?" Lavender asked confidingly, leaning on the window
as they sat waiting for their friends in one of the compartments of the
"Of course not!" said Parvati, in a reassuring manner. "We'll do great...
Two sweet, friendly girls, our depressed housemates who obviously need
us... It will be easy!"
Lavender considered this. "Well, I guess so," she said, in a manner
that implied exactly the opposite. She paused. "It was rather nice of
Miri to agree to be our secretary, wasn't it?"
Parvati nodded. "It isn't entirely an unfair bargain though..."
Lavender sat up at this. "Bargain?"
"Er, yes," said Parvati. "Don't worry about it though..."
"What type of bargain?" she asked.
"Oh, nothing important," Parvati said dismissively, "I just promised
Miri someone.. er, something for her service. Just a trifle, nothing concerning
you of course, Lavender, er, dearest..
Parvati never called her "dearest. "What did you give her, Parvati?"
"Oh, hardly anything... Really, don't worry about it, La..."
"What, Parvati?" demanded Lavender, her already high pitched voice making
an almost miraculous leap of an octave.
"Dean," Parvati mumbled.
"Dean?" gasped Lavender. "But, Parvati, he's my boyfriend!"
Parvati took sudden interest in floor of the compartment. "Well, perhaps
she'll settle for Seamus..."
Lavender gasped again. "No, Parvati! She can't have Seamus! He's mine!"
A look of bafflement crossed Parvati's face. "But, you said..."
As if by magic (or perhaps just a Plot Device?) Dean and Seamus burst
into the compartment.
"Hi, Lavender, sweetheart!" they exclaimed and each kissed her on a
cheek. The stopped, glanced at each other, and then at Lavender.
"Bugger," said Lavender.
Parvati shook her head sadly. So much for the "nice girl" factor.
"Could you pass the marmalade, Lavender?" asked Parvati, taking two slices
of toast from the platter. It was the breakfast of their second day back
to Hogwarts, and Parvati, Lavender, and their want-to-be-minions were
more interested in eating than in getting their timetables.
Lavender passed the jar to her. "I wonder what sort of house Dean would
like to live in," she said wistfully.
"Probably one in the shape of a soccer ball!" Seamus answered, ignorant
of any allusion to co-inhabitance or matrimony. "You should see his room!
There are West Ham posters all over the walls! And he even has a West
"What I don't get, Dean," Parvati said firmly, turning to face him,
"is why it's called West 'Ham.' Especially now that that tall bloke's
on the team. Doesn't he only eat kosher food or something?"
But Dean was gazing into the distance, his eyes fixed on a paled haired
girl at the Slytherin table.
Meanwhile, the subject of Dean's adoration had devoted herself to comparing
timetables with two of her Slytherin year mates, Elaine and Miki.
"It's rather silly how we compare our timetables every year when we
know they'll always be the same except for Arithmancy and such!" laughed
"No one asked you to join us, Moon," Elaine responded coldly, passing
her schedule to Pansy.
Miki backed away, slightly hurt.
Pansy studied the schedule. "Ouuu, Elaine!" she exclaimed. "We've got
all our classes together again!"
"Ah, good!" said Elaine. "I do hope Jordan and Blaise have dropped Care
of Magical Creatures like they said would, though. They're so annoying
when they're around Draco; a class without them would be a treat!"
Pansy nodded. There was a pause.
"Hey, look!" said Miki, pointing at Dean. "There's some Gryffindor bloke
staring at you!"
"Ugh, and he's a Mudblood too!" Elaine shuddered, ignoring Miki's "Don't
curse, Elaine!." "Oh, I'm so sorry for you, Pansy!" She patted Pansy on
the shoulder, her touch lingering ever so slightly.
Dean was fairly certain that his somewhat crush on Pansy Parkinson was
nothing more than that. Pansy was pretty, of course, in a blond, broad
nosed sort of way. But she was also a prejudiced, gossiping liar, certainly
not qualities that anyone sane would look for in a girlfriend. But the
masses had never considered Dean sane...
But no, Dean was certain that he neither liked nor loved Pansy. And
the fact that he fancied her was surely just a sign of how low his life
"Is there anything wrong, Lavender?" asked Parvati, after her best friend
had run weeping hysterically in their dorm and flung herself onto Parvati's
Lavender nodded, her sobs subsiding slightly.
"Ah, good," said Parvati, relieved. "You'll get off my bed then?"
"I nodded, you insensitive, optically-challenged jerk!" snapped Lavender,
sitting up and shooting a disgruntled glare at Parvati.
"Well, I'm sorry, I thought you shook your head!" responded Parvati.
She sighed. Normally she would have been more sympathetic. Normally she
would have tried to comfort her friend and coax her into feeling better
with oblations of candy and lipglosses. But, as normally as she had succeeded
in acting towards Lavender during the past few days, she still rather
upset about Lavender dating both Seamus and Dean. It wasn't that she disapproved.
Parvati would have done the exact same thing in Lavender's situation and
she recognized this. But it just seemed unfair, completely unfair, that
Lavender should be dating two people, when she, Parvati, the most, in
her unbiased opinion, beautiful, attractive girl in the entire year, had
no one to date at all. Not even an offer! She couldn't understand it...
Why did everyone seem to fancy Lavender and not her? But Lavender seemed
genuinely distressed... "Okay, then, what's wrong, Lavender?" Parvati
"Miri quit!" Lavender replied, in a sniffley sort of way. "She said
that if she couldn't have Dean or Seamus that she wouldn't be secretary!
Oh, Parvati, I thought she loved us! I thought she loved me!" Lavender
began crying again.
"Oh, so Miri fancies you, too, now!" responded Parvati bitterly. Lavender
stopped crying abruptly and started to say something. "Sorry," said Parvati
quickly. "Er, got a bit carried away there... That's really too bad, Lavender.
But don't worry, we'll manage together, with friendship and, er, teamwork
It was the evening of the day after Miri had quit, and Lavender was decidedly
suspicious. Parvati was acting very odd. Just that morning, Lavender had
caught Parvati kissing her own reflection. Now Lavender was quite fond
of her best friend Parvati, and though, in all honesty, modesty wasn't
among one of Parvati's virtues, this was a bit immoderate.
"Er, Parvati," Lavender had asked, "just out of curiousity, of course,
why did you just kiss your reflection?"
Parvati had simply smiled in the most patronizing fashion and had proceeded
to pat Lavender on the head.
Lavender had never been patted on the head by someone so close to her
own size before.
Currently, Lavender was sitting in a chair with Parvati in the Gryffindor
common room. Dean and Seamus were sitting on the floor below, playing
a soul-stirring game of Exploding Snap House. Well, as soul-stirring as
such games generally got.
"Well, ta ta, off to study!" exclaimed Parvati, as the editor of this
story pondered whether there was some sort of motive for this or if the
writer had simply written Parvati horrendously out of character.
"So," said Lavender conversationally, "Parvati's finally cracked..."
Seamus looked up at her, grinning slightly. "I believe we three have
been set up, Lavender," he said quietly.
"Oh," replied Lavender. "Bugger." Silence made its cameo. "Hey, Dean,
Seamus, I'm sorry about that whole going out with both of you deal. Rather
unfair of me, I admit."
"That's okay," Seamus and Dean both replied. Silence made another cameo,
now confident that it had been mentioned in almost as many fics as Simon
Branford had, and Dean and Seamus added cards to the Exploding Snap Card
House in turn.
As Seamus placed one of his last cards on, the card house exploded,
singeing his eyebrows.
"I win," Dean informed Seamus coolly. "Want to play, Lavender?"
"Sure," she replied. And all was well.
Niamh Kavanagh let out a sigh as squeals obviously belonging to Parvati
and then kissing noises erupted from the Gryffindor table. "Ah, it seems
that Parvati and Dean have finally gotten together," she said, amused.
Cho Chang glanced over at where the Gryffindor fifth years were sitting,
mildly interested. "Er, no, I don't think so, Niamh," she replied. "Parvati's
just gotten something in the post... I can't quite see what it is, though..."
"Her name's Suklaa," explained Parvati, "and she's my and Lavender's mascot!
You see, we're Team Chocolate Frog, and we're going to cheer up everyone
in Gryffindor, and Suklaa means 'chocolate' in Finnish! Get it? Mum sent
her to me!"
"Er, that's nice," replied Lee Jordan. "Go away, please."
Parvati frowned and stomped over to Ashanti Jordan, Lee's younger sister
and a first year Gryffindor. "Your brother was rude to me, Ashanti!" she
"Well, no offense, Parvati," Ashanti replied, "but you've already told
everyone a million times! It's getting rather repetitive..."
Parvati glared at her. "You're just jealous!" she snapped, clutching
the grey and white kitten even tighter. "Don't worry, my ickle baby Suklaa,"
she coeded. "Mummy and Lavender love you! And everyone else does too,
they're just jealous... Yes, they're jealous of Mummy, they are..."
Ashanti shook her head disapprovingly, and backed slowly away, having
made the decision that certain upperclassmen of hers were rather mad...
"Hermione?" Parvati asked her dormmate, slightly nervous. She had known
Hermione Granger since their first year, but they had never exactly been
friends. But, then again, Hermione would certainly be honored at a beautiful
girl like Parvati asking for her advice. Unless she was still upset at
Parvati over the things Parvati had called her at breakfast. But no, Hermione
was a sensible sort of girl. Surely she wouldn't be bitter over being
called a "pathetic bookworm who Harry and Ron are only friends with because
they feel sorry for her" or "a know-it-all prefect who all the first years
are afraid of, and I don't blame them." "Would you mind giving me a bit
Hermione looked up from her book. "I suppose not," she said warily,
"but do hurry; I have a Prefects Meeting in fifteen minutes."
Parvati smiled, relieved at her acceptance. "Well, okay, you know that
house elves club thing you had last year?" she asked. "You know, what
was it called... Barf? Puke?"
"Yes, spew!" Parvati agreed. "Well, how did you get people to take you
"I never figured that out, I suppose," Hermione responded crisply. "Everyone
regarded it as a joke." Hermione narrowed her eyes, perhaps in remembrance
of her classmates' indifference to her terribly important cause. "Why
do you ask, though?"
"Well, Lavender and I have this thing called Team Chocolate Frog," explained
Parvati. "Our goal is to boost Gryffindor's spirit. But no one takes us
seriously, and they hate our mascot, and Lavender and I always mess up
when we do our motto!"
"Maybe you don't have enough confidence," suggested Hermione. "How often
do you practice your motto?"
Parvati imagined that they must have practiced it at least once during
the summer. "Every so often," she replied.
"Well, practice it even more!" urged Hermione. "Maybe you can practice
over by the Astronomy Tower! No one ever goes there..."
Parvati considered this. "That's a good idea!" she responded. "Ouu,
I'm going to go write a note to Lavender telling her to meet me by the
Astronomy Tower before dinner! Oh, they'll take us seriously once we've
practiced, I just know it! Thanks, Hermione!" After Hermione assured her
that she was most welcome, and insisted that Parvati was to come to her
any time she needed advice, Parvati began on her note, puzzling over the
fact that Hermione had crossed her fingers as she had said all that. It
must, she decided, be some sort of strange Muggle custom.
Niamh Kavanagh, Ravenclaw Prefect, prided herself on being an amiable
sort of person. She made friends easily, and her circle of friends included
students in all houses. For this reason, the Head Boy and Head Girl had
assigned her to go to survey random fifth students in all houses, which
she had been given a special pass to enter. Her first stop was Gryffindor.
She flashed her pass at the Fat Lady, who reluctantly let her in, and
proceeded upstairs to the dorms. She first went to the fifth year girls'
dorm, where she found Parvati, who was sealing a piece of parchment.
"Hello," Niamh read from her parchment, "my name is Niamh Kavanagh and
I am a Prefect at our school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
I am conducting a survey, which asks various questions concerning the
management of our school, Hogwarts. I will first read you the questions
out loud and then give you a form to fill out. Please be completely honest.
Your name will not be disclosed. Here is the first set of questions: Please
rate the following people, on a scale of one to ten, with ten being the
highest: Head girl, Angelina Johnson, Gryffindor; 5th year Prefect Siwanw
Walbeoff, Hufflepuff; 5th year Prefect Hannah Abbott, Hufflepuff; 5th
year Prefect Justin..."
"Hi, Niamh!" exclaimed Parvati cheerfully. "You're doing a survey? That's
wonderful; I'm so proud of you for being a Prefect, you know! Here, bring
this note to Lavender for me, she's watching Gryffindor's Quidditch practice!
I'll answer your survey questions later, I promise!"
"Okay," agree Niamh, pocketing Parvati's note, and heading out the dorm
to the Hufflepuff. "See you later then, Parvati!"
Niamh hummed as she headed out of the Slytherin 5th Year Boys dorm rooms.
Finally someone had had the time to complete a survey! Of course, Gregory
Goyle had given all the Slytherins tens and anyone from another house
the lowest rating possible, but that could be strictly a coincidence.
She entered the Slytherin 5th Year Girls' dorm room, where dark haired
Elaine Mosvepres, in manner similar to that of Parvati Patil, was sealing
a note. Elaine looked up and saw Niamh. "Will you give this to Pansy,
Niamh?" she asked. "I think she's down at the Quidditch pitch watching
Parvati had said the same thing. "Isn't it a Gryffindor practice?" asked
Elaine checked the Quidditch schedule on the wall. "I believe so," she
responded. "You might look in the bushes..."
"Er, okay then..." Niamh said, refraining from further comment as she
placed the note in her pocket with the one to Lavender. "But will you
answer a few survey questions first?"
Elaine nodded absently.
"Oh, good!" exclaimed Niamh. "Thank you so much, Elaine! Okay, my name
is Niamh Kavanagh and..."
About an hour before her dinner, Niamh Kavanagh delivered Lavender Brown
the following note:
My Dear One Who Is More Beautiful than the Plant Whose Name She Bears,
My darling, we have been friends, best friends, ever since our first
year at Hogwarts together. In fact, you are the only one at Hogwarts whom
I truly feel affection for. Every day when I wake up, I am so thankful
for you, my dearest friend. I've never been able to say this out loud,
but I love you. And I will love you forever.
Your Best Friend
"I promise you, Lavender, I did not send you the note!" insisted Parvati.
"That's not my handwriting and that's not how I feel! I mean, we're friends
and all, of course, but this sounds, well.. Hey, maybe it wasn't even
for you! Lavender's not a plant, it's a color!"
"Actually," said a voice from behind them that belonged to Colin Creevey
(except for during that unfortunate incident where in a sea witch had
confused him with some mermaid named "Ariel," taken his voice, and used
it until the Ministry had finally convinced her to give it back to him),
"Lavender is a plant. We're growing it my Herbology class!" Both girls
turned bright red. "Er, not that I was, er, listening or anything..."
Colin began to walk away.
"It's okay, Parvati," Lavender assured. "I believe you. And I do believe
you're right when saying it was for someone else or such! But it was so
odd to get such a letter, I'm certain you can imagine my reaction... Well
you probably can, I mean, you're not terribly imaginative, no offense,
but it's the sort thing..."
"I'm glad we've worked this out," said Parvati, hugging Lavender in
a manner that would have been pleasing to the inventor of the word "platonic,"
had he not been a grumpy sort of man who hated children. "And the message
I intended you to get suggested that we practice our motto every afternoon.
Hermione said that we ought to rehearse by the Astronomy Tower, as no
really goes there."
"Ah, that's a good idea!" Lavender replied. "We can start tomorrow.
Here, let's go over it!" Parvati agreed to this.
"To protect our spirits from devastation!"
"To unite the Gryffindorian nation!"
"To denounce blood prejudice, which we're sick of!"
"To unshroud the future from the stars above!"
"Team Chocolate Frog, bounce off at the speed of light!
"We're two girls who know what's right!
Lavender and Parvati burst into wild cheers.
"That was wonderful!" exclaimed Colin Creevey. The girls stared at him.
"Er, yes, must be going!" He walked away again as he did before, except
for the "turning back to continue to listen in" bit.
Celeste Sinistra was, in general, a content witch. She had a loving husband,
a charming home in the center of Hogsmeade, two adorable children (Jyoti
and Hesperus), and a steady job as professor of Astronomy at Hogwarts
School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. But, in all honesty, however steady
and noble her job at Hogwarts was, it didn't pay much. So Celeste had
taken a second job with a Muggle company called Nintendo. She was currently
working on a television show that would be released soon in Japan and
released in the States about two or three years later. It was called Pokamon.
Or Pokuman. Or something. Her current job was to "translate" (a.k.a. rewrite)
the motto of these two characters called Rocket Gang. Already she had
decided on a new name for them: Team Rocket. It had all the glamour of
"Rocket Gang" but without the Angry Mums Calling In Because Their Darlings
Have Joined Gangs, and It's All Your Fault, You Know!! potential. As for
the motto, however, Celeste was stumped... But lately she had heard a
certain two Gryffindor fifth years who called themselves Team Chocolate
Frog reciting something outside her tower. A motto. And one day Celeste
Sinistra wrote down every word they said...
Lavender Brown sat in the first seat of the first row in Transfiguration.
It was, in general, a good seat. The middle students in each row were
always in Professor McGonagall's view, but the students on the corners
were blissfully out of site. Parvati, who sat behind Lavender, had also
managed to obtain a corner seat, so Transfiguration class was always filled
with whispers and words of advice. And, as Ron Weasley had said, no matter
what grades Lavender got in Transfiguration, she would always be, in a
sense, number one. Ron found it amusing to tell her this every class,
and Lavender dearly looked forward to next year when they would begin
learning Human Transfiguration.
Unfortunately, a week or so after Lavender and Parvati began practicing
their Team Chocolate Frog motto, Lavender's seat became forever tainted.
Lavender and Parvati had rushed into the classroom, only to find that
Peeves was mistaken and that they weren't late to Transfiguration. Lavender
had suspected that Peeves was being, as in past experiences, less than
truthful, but thought it possible that her and Parvati's constant motto
recitation had had a reforming effect on Peeves' character.
Lavender was putting her book bag down on her desk when she noticed
a piece of parchment in her book basket. She picked it up, read its contents,
and turned pale.
"What's wrong?" asked Parvati, noticing her distress.
Wordlessly, Lavender handed her the piece of parchment.
"Oh no!" Parvati said, after reading it, distressed. "Come here, everyone!"
she shouted. "I think you all have the right to read this..."
The other Gryffindors gathered around Parvati, each silently reading
the prophecy written in pink ink on the parchment:
One who lurks among you soon,
Whose last name really isn't Moon,
Who'll wreak havoc and cause fright and fear,
And steal candy and dear Sevvie's beer.
Oh evil creature from the store,
It is the Anti-Gryffindor!
"It's a prophecy against us!" exclaimed Dean, perhaps, in his outrage,
unaware at the obviousness of this statement.
"Well, it's a good thing whoever wrote this is a prophet, not an author!"
exclaimed Ron above the rumors. "It's terrible!"
"Really!" agreed Hermione. "Is it really an 'evil creature from the
store?' or was that the only thing the brainless git who wrote this could
thing of to rhyme with Gryffindor?"
"I wonder what the 'Anti-Gryffindor's' doctor thinks of his candy and
beer diet?" joked Harry.
The three friends walked back to their seats, laughing, and Neville
Lavender shook her head sadly. She hoped they would live to regret their
ignorance and-hard headedness. But why did they have to draw poor, innocent
Neville into their corruptness? She and Parvati must go talk to Professor
Trelawney about them, she decided.
"What are we going to do?" asked a Gryffindor.
Lavender straightened her shoulders and took the piece of parchment
back from Parvati. "I'm not sure," she told everyone, quietly. "Parvati
and I will consult Professor Trelawney, for sure. She's so knowledgeable
about these things! And if she doesn't have any suggestions, maybe we'll
just have to bide our time. But whatever's the matter, rest assured that
Team Chocolate Frog will get to the bottom of it. We'll protect Gryffindor
and defeat the Anti-Gryffindor. We promise."
Parvati burst into tears. "Oh, Lavender!" she weeped. "I'm so proud!"
The second that sentiment was uttered, Professor McGonagall walked into
the room. "Here I am," she announced. "Get to your seats. Why are you
crying, Parvati? Is there something the matter? Get out your textbooks,
class... Is that a note, Lavender? Bring it here, please..."
Elaine and Pansy were studying together in the Slytherin common room,
reviewing their History of Magic notes, as well as the notes they had
received during History of Magic.
"Have you seen that Anti-Gryffindor poem we made up during Transfiguration?"
"No, Pansy, I haven't," Elaine answered.
Pansy shrugged. "Oh well... Someone must have thrown it away or something..."
Elaine agreed that that must have been the case. "Er, Pansy?" she asked.
"Did you ever get that note I sent you through Niamh?"
Pansy paused in recollection. "Oh, yes!" she said, finally. "I couldn't
come, though, Jordan and I had detention for talking..."
Elaine stared at her, confused. Was this some sort of metaphor? "I don't
think I understand, Pansy," Elaine said.
"Well, you said you wanted to meet me at the Astronomy Tower to practice
- did you mean Quidditch?, a half hour before dinner," explained Pansy,
"but I couldn't come, because I had detention. Sorry about that, though."
"That's not what my note said!" Elaine replied, confused.
"Hmm," said Pansy, considering this. "Maybe Niamh gave me the wrong
the note... What did your note say?"
"Nothing important," responded Elaine, quickly. "Don't worry about it,
Lavender started on her second page of parchment of her essay on hexes
for Defense Against the Dark Arts. They had Mad-Eye Moody again this year,
though he seemed somehow different; most prone to assigning essays among
other things... Not that any of the teachers' behavior was normal; they
were all acting decidedly odd. Even for teachers. She chewed on her quill.
It tasted of ink. What Lavender really wanted was a few sugar quills,
but it was only forty-five minutes before dinner... Hmm.., she thought.
"Have you ever done something that you know your parents would disapprove
of, but you did it anyway because you were at boarding school and they'd
never know?" Lavender asked Parvati, who was sitting next to her.
Parvati got a misty look in her eyes. "Oh, yes!" she exclaimed, giggling
in a manner that, for some odd reason, reminded Lavender of Parvati's
most recent giggle of Witch Weekly's monthly "Tips that Will Make Your
Date Simply Magical!" feature. "You see, in second year, Padma and I asked
Mum and Dad when we could date and they say fourth year (isn't that unbelievable?),
but there was this bloke I fancied, well, actually it was Fred Weasley,
and I asked him out anyhow!"
This wasn't exactly what Lavender meant, but she didn't bother to correct
Parvati. "Ouu!" exclaimed Lavender, "did he say yes?"
"No," replied Parvati sadly. "And all his friends laughed at me."
"I'm sorry," Lavender said sympathetically. "Anyway, what I was thinking
was that we should go up to our dorm and eat some candy; even though it's
near dinnertime, I mean..."
"Ouuu!" exclaimed Parvati. ("Ouuu" had been an essential part of Parvati's
vocabulary, even since she and Padma had gotten their first subscription
to Witch Weekly). "Great idea, Lavender!"
The two raced up to their dorm and over to the large box with an attached
microphone between Lavender and Parvati's beds that contained their joint
candy stash, nearly tripping over Suklaa. "Which magazine should a witch
buy weekly?" Parvati said into the microphone. That had been Witch Weekly's
slogan when they had purchased the box. Of course, the fact that it was
inscribed into the box didn't make it the best of passwords, but such
thoughts simply did not occur to them back then.
The box opened.
It was empty.
Lavender gasped. "The Anti-Gryffindor has struck!" she exclaimed, shocked.
"He's stolen candy already! What should we do, Parvati?'
Parvati looked, possibly for the first time in her life, skeptical.
"Are you sure your parents haven't just a cast the No Candy Before Dinner
Spell on you?" she asked. Parvati's parents had done this to her and her
sister once, but Padma had found the counterspell. "They could have done
it in your sleep, even..."
Lavender shook her head. "That's impossible," she replied frankly.
"Ah, they trust do you, do they?" replied Parvati, in a manner that
implied she was speaking of something she'd heard of, but never experience.
"No," Lavender replied, giggling, "you're so dense sometimes, Parvati!
They're Muggles; Muggles can't cast spells!"
Lavender, Parvati, and Seamus exited Professor Snape's dungeon, feeling
quite irritated. Dean was absent from their company, which wasn't unusual
as of late, stalking the Slytherin girls. Lavender, refusing to believe
that anyone she had gone out with could fancy someone in Slytherin, insisted
it was part of his clever plan to stop the Anti-Gryffindor that he would
soon disclose to them. Parvati was of the opinion that the sleeping house-elf
that Dean had accidentally stepped on had put something in Dean's food.
Seamus reckoned that he was trying to win Snape's favor so he wouldn't
fail Potions (Not that any of them believed a Gryffindor could so easily
win Snape's favor. Or win it at all.). Which all came back to the reason
that the three Gryffindors were so disgruntled.
It had been their first Potions since the fated day that they had discovered
the Anti-Gryffindor prophecy. They had gotten into groups of three (to
the disgust of Pansy Parkinson and another Slytherin girl, Dean had insisted
in being in their group) to make Sleeping Draughts. Snape had given Lavender,
Parvati, and Seamus' Sleeping Draught a failing mark.
As they reflected on this, Hermione Granger, who had stayed behind to
ask Professor Snape something about their homework, exited the dungeon.
Parvati motioned to Lavender and Seamus and they stepped in front of
Hermione, blocking her path.
"Excuse me," said Hermione, attempting to step passed them.
"Not so fast!" Parvati said loudly. "Do you remember how you said that
you didn't think the Anti-Gryffindor prophecy is true?"
Hermione did, and, if this was what they were leading up to, she still
believed it to be rubbish and "I wonder that the three of you aare still
wasting their time thinking about it instead of studying for your OWLs."
Parvati stared at her, scandalized. "How can you doubt the prophecy
now?" exclaimed Parvati. "You've just experienced the line about the anti-Gryffindor
'stealing all of dear Sevvie's beer' in action!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about!" objected Hermione. "Now
if you'll please move, and perhaps consider getting lives while you're
"Ouuu! Let me explain!" Lavender replied. Lavender was obviously another
user of the all-expressive word "Ouuu." "Okay, well "Sevvie" is Professor
Snape because his first name's 'Severus!' It's a nickname, I imagine.
It's like 'Vicky' is a nickname for 'Victoria' or 'Willie' is short for
William, or, well, I imagine you get it, and the reason he was being so
awful today in because the Anti-Gryffindor's stolen all his beer! Just
like George Weasley, he gets so upset when..."
"George Weasley is not an alcoholic!" Hermione objected hotly, ignoring
Seamus' sad whisper that "their friends are always the last to know."
"And Snape didn't seem any worse than normal to me..."
Parvati sniffed. "Well, perhaps that's because he didn't give you a
failing mark on your potion!"
Lavender and Seamus nodded.
"Neville turned into a rabbit and had to go the infirmary when he drank
some!" Hermione replied. "Did you expect to get full marks?"
Parvati and Lavender shook their heads. "Typical prefect answer!" Lavender
The three friends turned their backs in unison and walked away haughtily.
Or at least tried to. Seamus tripped over Lavender and Parvati and broke
his leg (which rather ruined the effect), and spent the rest of the evening
in the middling company of Neville in the infirmary.
Interlude: A Day in the Life of Lavender Brown
Lavender Brown was, alas, a bit of an "airhead." She got reasonably good
marks in school, but would have gotten far better marks if she had studied
more. She was an avid Witch Weekly fan, spent an immoderate amount of
her allowance on lipgloss, and simply wasn't among the more lofty Hogwarts
students who considered themselves above gossip. But Lavender was far
from being uncultured. She enjoyed such refined hobbies as visiting and
literature. And there would come a Saturday when Lavender would get to
enjoy both of her much-accredited hobbies...
It was a Hogsmeade weekend and Lavender, as always, had plans. Parvati,
Niamh, Padma, Hannah, and she were leaving right after lunch to spend
the rest of the day shopping at Hogsmeade. Lavender was very excited.
But for this morning, she would read in the common room.
Lavender looked over the books she had gotten from the library, unable
to decide whether to read "Our Adventures: Transfiguration Camp," Twins
Monserrate and Concetta have go to Transfiguration camp! Will the summer
turn into a big mess?; "Head Over Heels," Head Girl Megan Sinclair has
fancied funny, practical joke loving fellow Quidditch team member Lance
Kelly for years. But will he ever be serious about their relationship?;
or Victoria's Secret, Victoria Woodhouse is an America transfer student
with a secret; but why do all the Muggle-born students keep laughing at
her when she tells this?. Lavender finally ending up choosing Head Over
Heels, which, for some terribly bizarre reason, Angelina Johnson was always
raving about. Pausing briefly to pat Suklaa on the head, she headed down
to the common room.
"Ah!" exclaimed Parvati, snatching Lavender's book from her and looking
at the title. "Let me know if you like it. I know you'll like Victoria's
Secret, it's so good! Hermione said it was funny, though, but it I didn't
think it was exactly funny... Maybe she was thinking of some other book..."
Lavender took her book back from Parvati, agreeing that that must have
indeed been the case.
Honeydukes had been founded three hundred years ago by Sir Knimlinger
IV. Sir Knimlinger had captured his rival dukes, shrunk them, soaked them
in honey, and sold them as candy to small children. Even in current times,
Honeydukes was less than wholesome in the way it obtained its candy, buying
most of it off the black market and producing the rest by the labor of
thousands of enslaved unicorns. But Lavender and her companions were ignorant
of this and were once again patronizing what many Hogwarts students considered
the best shop in Hogsmeade.
As they entered Honeydukes, Parvati and Hannah raced to the chocolate
section, while Padma and Niamh proceeded swiftly towards the sugar quills.
Lavender, however, lingered at a display of her favorite candy, lipglosses
that became edible at the stroke of midnight. Suddenly, she was lifted
from the ground. A blindfold was tied over her eyes and a handkerchief
stuffed in her mouth.
"Mpmph!" she objected.
To her horror, she was picked up and her kidnapper began to walk out
the store. Her kidnapper's grip then weakened and she fell heavily onto
Hogsmeade's rubble pavement.
"Lavender, I am so, so, so sorry!" was the first thing Lavender heard
when she opened her eyes. Hovering over her infirmary bed was her somewhat
dear friend Seamus.
"Er," said Lavender.
"No, really, I am so sorry, Lavender!" he continued. "I really didn't
mean to drop you! It was just a prank and I've seen the wrong of my ways
Lavender stared at him, confused. "Er, what?" she asked finally.
Seamus gasped, burst into tears, and ran weeping out of the infirmary.
Lavender shrugged and found a copy of Witch Weekly in the pile of magazines
on the table by her bed. The witch on the cover quickly stuffed a bag
of Honeydukes' chocolate back into her purse and struck a pose, leading
Lavender to reflect over the incident that had taken place at Honeydukes.
Just then, Madam Pomfrey marched quickly into the room, dragging a still
sniffling Seamus behind her. "Lavender," said Madam Pomfrey, "this boy
seems to think you have amnesia... What did you say to him?"
Lavender shook her head, confused again. "I don't know why he would
think I have amnesia!" she exclaimed. "I didn't say anything the least
bit like that to him. Seamus, don't worry, I remember every bit of what
happened up until the bloke who was kidnapping me dropped me on the pavement!"
Seamus suddenly understood. "Lavender," he told her quietly (apparently
"Lavender," was a favorite conversation starter of both Madam Pomfrey
and his), "I was the one who kidnapped you."
Finally, Seamus' strange remarks of the past couple minutes began to
make sense. "Ah!" she replied, pleased that her confusion had finally
lowered to only her normal level. "I get it! That's okay!"
Seamus looked slightly shocked. "You're not angry?" he asked.
Lavender shook her head, this time in denial instead of confusion. "Nah!"
she responded. "Niamh, Padma, and Hannah are a bit boring... No offense,
of course... I mean they're nice, seriously, but just the tiniest bit
dull. Not that that's a bad..."
"I noticed that you were looking at candy lipglosses display," remarked
Seamus. "Do you like candy lipgloss?"
"Ah, yes!" replied Lavender, with affection directed first at candy
lipglosses and then at Seamus for his audience. "I always wear candy lipgloss
for parties and such where I'll be staying up late! It's almost as cool
as real lipgloss... They're my favorite candy!"
"Really?" asked Seamus. "Wow! They're my favorite candy too!"
Lavender had found her soul mate.
Lavender awoke to a rather drawn out scream. (And the author's Subject
of Her Independent Project (see Notes) definitely isn't going tell you
that when the author originally thought of the sentence, she mentally
described as the screams as "blood-curdling," because if she did, you'd
think her to be a really cliche writer... Oops.) She jumped out of bed,
instructing her self to remain calm and remember what she'd learned during
Skills for Emergencies at Wizarding Summer Camp, and drew out her wand.
Before her stood a pale-looking Parvati.
"What happened?" she asked her, mentally running through all the medical
spells she had learned. "Where are you hurt?" Suddenly she froze. She
had forgotten the healing spell for poison tipped arrow wounds below the
knee! Parvati would die and it would be all her fault!
She burst into tears and Parvati patted her on the shoulder. "Poor Lavender!"
she said. "I should have known that you would take this even harder than
I would! But don't worry, we can buy more candy!"
Lavender stared at Parvati in surprise. "Candy?" she exclaimed. "What
does candy have to do with anything?" She studied Parvati. "You don't
look too bad. If I can get you to Madame Pomfrey's, you'll still live!"
"What are you talking about?" replied Parvati. "I'm not going to die
or anything... Well, maybe... I really liked my Cotton Candy Bubble Gum
Light Rose Sparkle Glamour Witch Lipgloss and they only make Bubble Gum
Cotton Candy Pale Rose Sparkle Glamour Witch Lipgloss now... But we can
buy more candy, I'm sure!"
"You mean, you haven't been wounded below the knee with a poison tipped
arrow?" asked Lavender.
Parvati shook her head. "Of course not!" she responded. "But the Anti-Gryffindor
has stolen all our candy again and my Cotton Candy Bubble Gum Light Rose
Sparkle Glamour Witch Lipgloss!"
Lavender gasped, her former fear of her friend's death temporarily forgotten.
"It stole our candy again? That's awful!"
She looked at Parvati, who straightened her shoulders. "We've got to
do something, Lavender!" she said determinedly. "We can't allow ourselves
to be pushed around anymore! We are Team Chocolate Frog and we are going
to take a stand! No matter what we have to do, no matter how much work
it takes, even if it costs us our lives, we must defeat the Anti Gryffindor!"
"Or we could just tell Professor McGonagall!" suggested Lavender. "I'm
sure she could figure it out." Parvati looked scandalized. "Or not..."
And from that day forward, they practiced their motto for an extra ten
minutes every day.
Pansy Parkinson was not having a good day. Elaine was, with the headmaster's
permission, of course, spending the day with her mother in Hogsmeade,
leaving her in the less than satisfactory company of Miki, Blaise, Jordan,
and Millicent. Currently, she was on her way to dinner, and, as Miki was
still studying in the dorm room and Millicent was beating up Hufflepuffs
in the bathroom, she was accompanied only by Blaise and Jordan.
This did not please Pansy. She hadn't always disliked Blaise and Jordan.
She supposed it had started in their fourth year, when Blaise and Jordan
had started Operation Flirt with Draco. Some of the Ravenclaws had laughed
appreciably when she had called it that, but, sadly, Blaise and Jordan
had made up the name themselves. The worst thing was that Draco had actually
started enjoying it. This caused severe annoyance in Pansy's life. It
wasn't that she fancied Draco. He was too conceited for even Pansy's tastes.
As adoring as Blaise and Jordan were of him, Pansy had a feeling that
he would always be his own biggest fan. But he was the only "dateable"
boy in the year, and Pansy had rather liked being the only Slytherin girl
in the year that he paid attention to.
"Look, Pansy!" giggled Blaise, pointing to Dean, who was once again
trailing her. "There's your boyfriend again!"
"I knew that Gryffindors were supposed to be 'brave,'" added Jordan,
"but I didn't know one would be 'brave' enough to go after pureblood Slytherin
like you!" Both Jordan and Blaise found this hysterical, Jordan especially
so, and burst into loud giggles.
Pansy sighed and then turned around decisively. "Do you value your life,
Thomas?" she asked.
Dean smiled at her. "Life without you is meaningless, dearest," he replied.
If possible, the giggles of Blaise and Jordan became louder.
"Leave me alone!" shouted Pansy.
Dean smiled again. "Of course, dearest," he said. "But first, will you
let me ask you one question?"
"Fine," Pansy responded, in the most indifferent tone she could muster.
"Will you go out with me?" asked Dean, his eyes glazed in the most annoying
Jordan and Blaise clutched each other's arms for support, but gave up
and collapsed onto the floor. They were immediately trampled by a group
of peeved looking sixth year perfects.
"I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last person on earth!" Pansy
responded acidly. Obviously she didn't hold herself to the high standard
of rarely using cliches.
Dean stared at her, dismayed and then walked off.
Pansy rolled her eyes as she escorted her friends to Madame Pomfrey's,
not allowing herself to feel the least bit sorry for Dean. Surely even
he couldn't have been so naive as not to see that one coming.
"Hello, Elaine!" exclaimed Miki, as her year mate entered the room. Miki
was doing a bit studying before dinner (they had their First Quarter Transfiguration
test in a few days), and Elaine had apparently just come back from her
day excursion with her mother. "You look happy!"
Elaine nodded, almost smiling. "For the first time in your life, you're
right, Miki," she replied, her voice lacking its usual coldness.
Miki took this in, impressed. Elaine, she thought to herself, must really
be a good mood. Elaine hadn't called Miki by her first name since Draco's
parents had decided to switch Draco to another school. Elaine had never
liked Draco. She had cried for two days when his parents had changed their
minds. "Why are you so happy?" Miki asked curiously, though she doubted
Elaine would tell her.
"Pansy turned down that Gryffindor bloke," responded Elaine, putting
aside her unspoken vow Never to Tell Miki Anything in her excitement.
"Ah," said Miki. "I was pretty sure that would happen. But how did you
know? Can you read each other's minds when you want to? Oh, wow, I wish
I had a friend like that!"
"Don't be stupid," replied Elaine. "Obviously I wouldn't have worried
if I could read her mind. But since seem so eager know, I'm certain you
must remember how I had you get me a thimble of her blood last year."
Miki did. "But you said that wasn't for a Spying Charm!" she objected.
This time Elaine actually did smile. Miki wished she had a camera. "Honesty,"
Elaine informed her, "is hardly a Slytherin trait."
"I'm bored," exclaimed Pansy loudly. It was the First Quarter Transfiguration
test, and so far, the rest of the class, with the exception of Miki, Elaine,
and herself, had yet to be finished. Students were called one by one,
and it had only taken Elaine, Pansy, and Miki a few minutes to do the
animal transfigurations they had been instructed to do. Unfortunately,
the fourth student to be tested was Gregory Goyle, and he had already
been up at the professor's desk for forty minutes. Professor McGonagall
glared at Pansy, put her finger to her lips, and turned back to Gregory.
"I'm bored," Pansy said again, this time in a whisper. "I wish Gregory
would hurry! How could it possibly take someone so long?"
"I know!" agreed Elaine. "I wish he would just tell McGonagall that
he's forgotten the spell and let the next person go! If he didn't know
the spell twenty minutes ago, he's not going to remember any time soon."
Pansy agreed that this was true. There was a long, boring lapse of silence.
At least McGonagall would be happy. "I've got an idea!" Pansy said finally.
"Why don't we write a letter to the Gryffindors from the 'Anti-Gryffindor?"
"Good idea!" agreed Elaine. "And they have Transfiguration next, so
we can leave it here!"
"Oh, I know, Elaine!" exclaimed Pansy in an excited whisper. "Let's
have the 'Anti-Gryffindor' challenge them to a duel!"
Elaine shook her head. "They would never fall for it," she objected.
Pansy considered this. "Yeah, I reckon they wouldn't," she agreed.
"We can still do it though!" Elaine replied. "It's not as if we have
anything better to do..."
"Dear Gryffindors," read Parvati, "I don't imagine that any of you small-brained
sort of people have heard of me, but I'm the Anti-Gryffindor. I am fierce,
shrewd, and would delight in smushing you like bugs. I challenge you to
a duel tomorrow at 8:14 in front of the Astronomy Tower. Send your bravest
house members. Love, The Anti-Gryffindor."
There were gasps. Multiple gasps. Four gasps. Belonging to Parvati,
Lavender, Seamus, and Dean. Well, Neville also gasped, but that because
he had just remembered that they had their First Quarter Transfiguration
test today. But the other class members looked decidedly indifferent and
Hermione even rolled her eyes.
Fortunately, the four students who had gasped, besides Neville, were
too enthralled to notice their classmates' indifference. They stammered
out expressions like "Oh my gosh!," "We'll show him, then!," and "Wow,
he must big if he's going to smush us like bugs!"
Parvati, Lavender, and Dean turned to look at Seamus. "I mean, if he
has the *ability* to smush us like bugs," Seamus amended quickly. "What
are we going to do, though?"
"The only thing we can do," Parvati insisted. "Take them on. And as
Team Chocolate Frog, Lavender and I are the ones to do it!"
"Er, yes!" agreed Lavender, slightly less enthusiastic. "We'd, er, be
the perfect ones!"
"That's not fair!" objected Dean. "Dean and I are brave, too! We should
come with you, shouldn't we, Seamus?"
"Well," said Seamus, "you see, er... Well, actually... I mean, yes!
We sure should! I would personally be, ah, very upset if not allowed to
go." Only an indifferent Hermione saw Dean step on Seamus' foot with his
"Well, okay," relented Parvati. "But no one else, okay, everyone?" None
of their other classmates had the slightest objection to this.
"Hi, everyone!" exclaimed Niamh, addressing the fifth year Slytherins
who sat eating their lunch innocently. (Well, as innocently as possible
for fifth year Slytherins.) "Mind if I sit here?"
"Er," said Elaine and Pansy.
"Sure!" exclaimed Miki.
Niamh smiled and took seat across from Miki and next to Pansy. "I heard
something interesting about the Gryffindors and I thought all of you would
be interested!" she exclaimed. Obviously the rumor that most of Liamh's
statements could be answered with "Not bloody likely!" wasn't unfounded.
Everyone moved towards the other side of the table, except for Miki,
and Elaine and Pansy, who were conveniently trapped between Miki and Niamh
and the end of the table.
"They got this note from someone called the 'Anti-Gryffindor,'" continued
Niamh, "and it said to meet him or her for a duel at the Astronomy tower
tonight! They've gone insane with worry, well, some of them at least!
Hermione says that some of them had nightmares last night! I guess it's
pretty scary... I don't know what I'd do if I had to duel an Anti-Ravenclaw.
And they think that the Anti-Gryffindor's rather powerful..."
"Wow!" exclaimed Miki. "That's terrible! I can't believe..."
"How did you do on your Transfiguration test, Niamh?" Elaine asked quickly.
"I don't know, I haven't had it yet," replied Niamh. "It's my first
class after lunch, though. Was it hard, Elaine? I've been thinking about
spending the rest of lunch studying..."
"Oh, yes!" replied Elaine, smiling at Pansy. "I think you better. Maybe
Miki will help you! She did really well!"
"Okay," answered Niamh. "Would you help me, Miki?"
Miki nodded. "Of course, Niamh! Come on, if we go now, we'll have a
Miki and Niamh grabbed a basket of sandwiches and rushed off.
Pansy and Elaine burst into laughter. "Wow!" exclaimed Pansy. "Those
Gryffindors are even dumber than we thought!"
"They certainly are dense," agreed Elaine. "I can't believe they're
so upset over that note we made up! I wasn't even planning on going.."
There was a lapse of silence as "reminiscent" of the lapse of silence
during Transfiguration as the second Harry Potter movie trailer was supposedly
of the first.
"Hey, Elaine?" asked Pansy.
"Yes?" replied Elaine.
"Maybe we did was... was wrong.."
They exchanged glances.
Lavender drew her sword out of its sheath, flashing it through the air
and someone managing not to knock over more than a couple objects in her
dorm ("Lavender, that was my collectible copy of Hogwarts: A History!").
"Is that a real sword?" Parvati asked, impressed.
Lavender shook her head. "No," she replied, sadly, "it's just plastic.
But I was thinking that I could transfigure it into metal..." Lavender
glanced down at the rather blunt point. "Well, maybe..."
"What do you need a sword for, Lavender?" asked Hermione, clutching
Hogwarts: A History. It didn't seem damaged to Lavender, but Hermione
was cradling it gently, and, if Lavender didn't know better, she would
have thought that Hermione was whispering to it. But her down-to-earth
roommate surely wouldn't indulge in such behavior.
"For the duel, obviously!" replied Lavender, flipping through one of
their textbooks for Transfiguration.
Possibly for the first time in their lives, Hermione and Parvati exchanged
glances. "It's called using a wand to duel, Lavender," Parvati said. Hermione
"No, way!" came a voice from the corner. "Wands are for sissies. Way
to go, Lavender! You're a real woman!"
Hermione, Lavender, and Parvati gasped and turned around.
"Er, I'll be going now!" said Colin Creevey quickly, and dashed out
of the room, not even stopping to pat Suklaa on the head.
"Honesty!" exclaimed Hermione. "What is wrong with Colin this year,
anyway? Did we go around spying on older boys when we were in fourth year?"
Obviously, Hermione too had caught Colin spying on her before.
"Er, why, no!" responded Lavender, perhaps too quickly. Lee and his
friends had been livid...
"I think we better get dressed now," said Parvati, interrupting Lavender's
recollections. "It's 7:14; the duel starts in an hour!"
"Eight o'clock is rather early for a duel," remarked Hermione.
"It's not at eight, Hermione," Lavender replied patiently, "it's at
Hermione left the room in disgust.
By 8:00, Lavender and Parvati were ready to go. They had gotten some information
out of Ron and had blackmailed Alicia Spinnet into making them identical
and "rather cool" costumes that consisted of white trousers, a sleeveless
white shirt, and a open white overshirt with "Team Chocolate Frog" embroidered
on the back....
Flashback, the day before:
"Hi, Alicia!" exclaimed Parvati cheerfully.
Alicia stared at her. "Get out of my dorm, Patil," she said finally.
Parvati grinned, and looked around. The dorm of the seventh year girls
was rather boring, especially, Parvati thought, if one wasn't found of
Quidditch. Besides Quidditch posters, there were Quidditch books, various
broom polishing tools, and dozens of Quidditch player figures scatted
all around the room. "SPEW" would have been a better name for this room
than for Hermione's noble organization. "That's no way to talk to one's
customers!" replied Parvati.
"Customer?" asked Alicia. Surely the rumors weren't getting that bad...
Parvati nodded. "My, er, friend Niamh said you were good at making clothes..."
"Oh!" replied Alicia. "Okay, then! What do you want?"
"I have the plans right here," Parvati replied, handing Alicia a folder.
"Lavender wants the same thing. And we'll pay half a galleon each."
"Alright," answered Alicia, looking through the pictures in the folder.
"When you need it ready by?"
Parvati smiled at her. "Tomorrow."
Alicia gasped. "Tomorrow?" she sputtered. "Are you mad? It will take
me at least two weeks to get this done! There's no way I could finish
this by tomorrow."
"Really?" asked Parvati, her smile growing even larger. "Because I was
certain that you didn't want the rest of the school to know what Ron told
....Over that, each wore a dark sash with an attached sheath. Parvati
didn't have a sword, but she had found a thin board on the way to Herbology
that sort of looked like one.
They joined the slightly less excited Seamus and Dean and proceeded
to the Astronomy Tower.
They did not like what they saw.
"Here to cheer for the Anti-Gryffindor, are you?" Seamus asked Pansy
Parkinson and Elaine Mosvepres.
Pansy and Elaine burst into giggles and were glared at by the four Gryffindors.
Those stupid, giggling Slytherins were completely ruining the mood!
"It's obvious why you weren't put Ravenclaw, Finnigan," Elaine said
The Gryffindors stared at her, confused.
"There is no Anti-Gryffindor," explained Pansy, finally. "We sent you
Parvati and Lavender exchanged glances of devastation. "We spent a half
a galleon each on these outfits!" exclaimed Lavender.
"What about the prophecy, though?" asked Seamus.
"What prophecy?" asked Elaine. She turned to Pansy. "What are they babbling
about, Pansy?" she asked.
"The prophecy about the Anti-Gryffindor!" replied Dean. "One who lurks
among you soon whose last name really isn't Moon who'll wreak havoc and
"So that's what happened to our poem!" interrupted Pansy. "They do have
Transfiguration after us..."
Elaine nodded. "Do you still have a copy of it?" she asked the Gryffindors.
"I wanted to show it to some people... Not that I'd touch it after you've
had it so long, but we could probably get Niamh to copy it, couldn't we,
"How did you it?" Parvati burst out, unable to contain herself any longer.
"How did you steal Snape's beer and break into my dorm?"
"What on earth are you talking about, Patil?" replied Elaine.
"Snape was in a really awful mood a while ago," explained Seamus, "and
we've reckoned it's because the Anti-Gryffindor, well, you, I suppose,
stole his beer. My da gets really foul tempered when he doesn't have his
"And the Anti-Gryffindor broke into the Fifth Year Gryffindor Girls'
Dorm!" added Parvati. "All of Lavender and me's candy was stolen, and
my Cotton Candy Bubble Gum Light Rose Sparkle Glamour Witch Lipgloss!"
"I don't know who stole your stuff," objected Pansy, "but it wasn't
us. Some of have enough money to buy our own candy! And Professor Snape
is never nice to stupid, stuck up Gryffindors like you!"
"We are not stupid and stuck up!" snapped Parvati. "We're not the ones
who hate Muggle-borns and beat up Hufflepuffs in the bathroom!"
"I have never beaten up a Hufflepuff in my life, Patil!" Elaine replied
"Me neither!" agreed Pansy. "In fact, only Millicent, Draco, Vincent,
"Er, are we still going to duel?" asked Lavender.
"I hope not!!" said Elaine, glaring darkly at everyone but Pansy. "I
don't want to duel..."
"Me neither!" added Pansy. "I don't know why I even decided to come
in the first place; I have better things to do!"
Lavender wondered if Elaine and Pansy had ever disagreed in their lives.
"Me neither, actually," Lavender admitted. "This outfit cost me a half
a galleon, and if we duel it will likely get dirty and then Mum will be
mad at me for wasting my money, and the..."
"Me neither!" Seamus put in. "We haven't had dueling lessons since second
year, and I, for one, have forgotten how to do it..."
The others nodded.
"Maybe we should just have a thumb war or something," Dean said, grinning.
"Ouuu, good idea!" said Lavender. She approached Seamus. "One, two,
three, four, I declare a thumb..."
"Come on!" exclaimed Seamus, grabbing Lavender's arm. "Let's have a
Thumb War tournament in the common room!" They raced off.
"This is stupid!" remarked Pansy. "I'm leaving!"
"Me too!" agreed Dean, though perhaps only to indulge in following Pansy
at an extremely close distance. They exited.
Elaine and Parvati exchanged an awkward glance. Then Elaine drew out
her wand. "Petrificus Totalus!"
The morning after the supposed duel happened to be a Saturday, and so
Lavender was sitting in the common room with an ice pack on her thumb
[Madame Pomfrey had claimed it was a "magical" ice pack, but Lavender
couldn't help but think that the nurse was too busy (there were several
students there, but Lavender didn't get a chance to see who they were)
to do a healing spell on her much bruised thumb], finally reading Victoria's
Secret, when Parvati walked in through the Fat Lady's portrait. "Parvati!"
exclaimed Lavender. "Where have you been?"
Parvati joined Lavender on the large chair she was sitting in. "The
Infirmary," she replied. "Elaine cast Petrificus Totalus on me after you
left, and I wasn't found until a couple hours later. I was nearly frozen!"
"I'm sorry," said Lavender, "I should gone to check if you were still
there when you didn't come back to the common room after..."
"It's okay," replied Parvati, wondering briefly if Lavender even got
tired of always being interrupted. Well, it was her fault... "You couldn't
have guessed Elaine would do that. But, guess what, Elaine lost fifty
points from Slytherin!"
"That's wonderful!" exclaimed Lavender. Again, there were a certain
group of Gryffindors who would have said "Aw, that's too bad for Slytherin!"
or "Poor Elaine, she deserved it, but she must feel awful!," but Lavender
was not, and would probably never be, numbered among that group. "Let's
go get some candy to celebrate!"
They skipped up to the dorm. Until they fell. They then settled for
limping up to the dorm, and hugging anyone they came upon. They finally
reached their dorm and entered. Being shouted rude names after by a group
of second year boys for hugging them didn't dampen their mood, though
what they found inside did.
A dark haired girl of about eight was kneeling by the chest that contained
their candy. She was currently stuffing the candy into her pockets. She
didn't hear Parvati and Lavender walk in, but their rather high pitched
screams alerted her and she turned around.
"What are you doing?" shrieked Parvati. "That's our candy!"
"Er, sorry!" the little girl replied.
"Who are you?" demanded Lavender. "How did you get in here?"
The little girl stood up, shifting her feet guility. "My name's Kissa,"
she told them, "and you two brought me here. Sorry for eating your candy,
but the kitty food you give me tastes yucky."
Parvati and Lavender now looked both outraged and confused. "What do
you mean?" asked Parvati.
In what seemed to the answer to Parvati's question, the little girl
, Kissa, turned into a cat. Suklaa.
"Our mascot!" Parvati exclaimed. "How can you turn into our mascot?"
Lavender considered this. "Maybe she is our mascot, Parvati!" Lavender
suggested. She turned to Kissa. "Are you an Animagi?"
"Yep!" replied Kissa. She seemed far more cheerful now, but perhaps
that was because she opened several packages of sugar quills and was eating
them. "I can turn into a kitty!"
"But you're too young to be an Animagi!" objected Parvati. Parvati's
sister, Padma, and her friends had tried to make an Animagi potion and
had botched it terribly. They had spent weeks in the infirmary and Professor
McGonagall had pressed it on them that they weren't to try such advanced
magic until they were at least in seventh year.
Kissa shrugged. "Mummy gave me a potion that made me one just in case
she was taken away by... by..." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "Death
Eaters. 'Cause she's an auror. And they did come and I turned into a kitty
when they came, so they couldn't me away. Mummy said to!"
"Wasn't your mum an Animagi, too?" asked Parvati.
Kissa shook her head. "No. There wasn't enough potion. Dad gave it to
her when he died, so she said that she wanted me to be saved, at least.
I guess if I hadn't been born she would have taken the potion herself."
She lowered her head, guiltily. "I guess it's my fault they took her away,
"Probably," replied Parvati.
Lavender glared at her.
"I mean, er, of course not, sweetie!"
"Come on, Kissa," said Lavender, taking Kissa's hand. "We're going to
take you to Professor Dumbledore. You'll like him, I promise. And he'll
find something better for you to eat." Lavender was used to managing children,
at least. She had a little sister named Violet who was about Kissa's age.
"Okay!" replied Kissa. "What are your names, anyway?"
"I'm Parvati," replied Parvati. "And she's Lavender."
"Oh," said Kissa. There was a pause. "Lavender," she asked, "which magazine
*should* a witch buy weekly?"
"Er, Witch Weekly," said Lavender.
"Oh," replied Kissa. She sounded slightly disappointed.
After taking Kissa to Professor Dumbledore, they told Seamus and Dean
what had happened.
"Oh!" replied Dean. "Well that wraps everything up all Scooby-Doo like
now, doesn't it?"
Parvati and Seamus stared him as if he gone mad.
"Purebloods!" Dean and Lavender said with a sigh, shaking their heads.
"That does wrap up everything though," said Lavender.
"Yes," agreed Parvati, "I suppose you're right... Except one thing...
Who stole my Cotton Candy Bubble Gum Light Rose Sparkle Glamour Witch
Lavender looked down at the ground. "Er," she said.
"Lavender!" exclaimed Parvati. "How... You... Argh!"
That afternoon, Seamus approached Lavender. He was wearing leather trousers.
"Er, Seamus?" asked Lavender. "Why are you wearing leather trousers?"
"So that this will be a gratuitous leather trousers story and annoy
people like Frog Fad and Gillenoen who probably aren't reading this story
anyway," answered Seamus.
Lavender stared at him. "Er, go change, Seamus," she told him.
"Right!" replied Seamus.
A few minutes later, Seamus reappeared. Well he didn't exactly reappear,
as he hadn't learned to Apparate yet, but he came down from his dorm,
at least. "Will you go out with me, Lavender?" he asked.
Lavender looked up, surprised. Then she grinned. "Oh, Seamus!" she answered.
"Of course not!"
Seamus' face fell. It was hurt very badly from falling, but the only
thing Madame Pomfrey would do was give it an ice pack. "Why not?" he asked.
Lavender took a breath. "Okay, well Parvati said that when she was younger
she asked out Fred Weasley and I've been thinking and he's really cute,
and besides, my mum said I can't get married until I'm twenty, and I don't
want to go out with you for five years! That would be... weird..."
Suddenly Seamus understood. It wasn't Dean who had gone mad. It was
Everything sort of wound down after that. Team Chocolate Frog was disbanded
in favor of getting a reasonable number of OWLs. Nobody really seemed
really any better for Team Chocolate Frog's efforts. But twenty years
later, two pairs of best friends looked back on it with amusement, the
only difference in their reaction being whether they said 'Stupid Slytherins!'
or 'Stupid Gryffindors!'
Three years later...
"Oh, your new house is so cute!" gushed Parvati, giving her friend Lavender
a hug. Parvati hadn't visited the Browns since they had lived in Liverpool.
The Browns had moved to Gloucester a couple years ago.
Lavender blushed. "Thanks... I know it's not much... My family's never
had that much money; at least won't be shock for me when Seamus and I
get married. Divination Studies researcher doesn't pay much, nor does
his job as Wizard Culture researcher."
"Still planning on marrying him, huh?" asked Parvati.
Lavender grinned. "Of course! Now, come on, you have to say hallo to
Violet. She's gotten so much older, you wouldn't believe it!"
Lavender led Parvati, who didn't think she'd have trouble believing
that someone had aged, into the living room, where Violet was watching
"Hallo, Violet!" said Parvati.
"Hi, Parvati!" replied Violet, running over to hug Parvati and Lavender
and then going back to the floor to continue watching Pokemon.
Suddenly a red haired woman and a blue haired man appeared on screen.
"Prepare for trouble!" shouted the red haired woman.
"Make it double!" shouted the blue haired man.
To protect the world from devastation,
To unite all people within our nation,
To denounce the evils of truth and love,
To extend our reach to the stars above!
Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!
Surrender now, or prepare to fight!
Meowth! Dat's right!
Parvati and Lavender stared at each other, wide mouthed.
"Hey!" exclaimed Parvati. "They nicked our motto!"