I give thanks to no one for helping me with this work.  I fully shoulder all blame.  I do credit St. Margarets for inspiring this, for lack of a better word, song, with her story on the Anthology thread.  Specifically, this comes from her version of Labour 6, where Ron must help rid the Hogwarts grounds of a plague of Diricawls.  If you have not read it, do.  If you have not visited the Anthology, do that, too.  There are loads of great stories there.  And we welcome new writers, whether they’re  accepted SQ authors or not.

This song was mentioned in passing by St. Margarets.  Unfortunately I couldn’t let it pass.  With apologies to Pa, Adam, Hoss and Little Joe.

Sung to the tune of the Theme from Bonanza. (For those less musically fortunate, that can be found here as sung by Old Man Cartwright himself.)

The Ballad of Brocklehurst and the Diricawls

Here we stand as McGonagall demands: “Get rid of the Dodos!”
With a compass and a broom and a whole lotta room
They'll be gone real soon!
We're on a quest.  But it's anybody's guess: where's the Dodos!
It's a bugger of a struggle, but we're not Muggles!
We're gonna sweep them clean!

We're first rate, if a bit late.
Those birds have to go!
We can fly, but they don't try.
They Disapparate.

Where'd they go?  I don't know!  Damn the Dodos!
With a Pop or a Crack, they leave no tracks.
Look behind that tree!
Has anybody seen a flock on the wing of Dodos?
Fly kinda slow, keep it pretty low
But Chipolata Derek, keep your flags real keen.

We're first rate, if a bit late.
Those birds have to go!
We can fly, but they don't try.
They Disapparate.