I don’t wanna close my eyes!

Don’t wanna fall asleep!

‘Cause I miss you babe, and I don’t wanna miss a thing

                   ~Aerosmith

 

 

The voice was low and humming, the monotonous tones of Professor Binns’ voice constant as the Goblin Revolution of 1493 continued its rocky development. The quiet scratching of a quill was the only thing that could be heard in the classroom, and when Professor Binns turned around the brown-haired boy who owned that particular quill looked quickly to his left, a slight frown of concern grazing his normally graceful features.

 

“Lily?” he asked the red-headed girl sitting next to him, even as the quill continued to copy down name after name. “Are you all right?”

 

Bright green eyes clouded with sleep gazed back at him, and she jumped slightly, a little disoriented. “Oh, yes …Remus. Goodness, did I fall asleep?”

 

A merry laugh escaped the boy’s lips, and his eyes twinkled slightly before answering. “Yes, you did. For a moment there, I was the only person awake in this class.” He pointed to the snoring mop of messy black hair and the more subdued but still very much asleep plump-looking boy by his side. “And if Sirius weren’t too sick to come to class…” He twitched and dropped his voice conspiratorially -- “And don’t you believe for a moment he’s really sick,” he added before reassuming his normal tone of voice. “Then he’d be here snoring as well.”

 

She smiled warmly then, one of those rare smiles that caused James to walk around with a goofy grin whenever she directed one at him, and shrugged almost imperceptibly. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she tried to excuse herself. “I don’t think I’ve ever fallen asleep in class before. I must be coming down with something.”

 

The concerned frown returned instantly, and he examined the girl attentively, taking note of the paleness of her features, in sharp contrast with her fiery red hair. The quill continued to move, even as his eyes focused on her, and his writing suffered a bit for it, but it seemed he was accustomed to doing this sort of thing, because he kept writing the names down with almost no difficulty.

 

“You should take a nap, like the rest of the class,” the boy said softly. “I’ll lend you my notes later so you can catch up.”

 

“Oh, no …I wouldn’t dream of abandoning you with Professor Binns,” she responded with smirk, but he could see that her usually bright green eyes were a bit dull. “Especially not today, when all your friends are … indisposed.” She finished, with a look at James that betrayed some tenderness, even as she tried to appear stern.

 

“Lily, they are always indisposed. In fact, I think the only time Sirius got through a class awake was that time when I made him promise to take notes for me. It’s all right, really. I’m used to it.”

 

“Well, James did take notes last week, when you came down with the flu,” she reasoned. “You’re sick often enough, Remus, but if you only knew the little angels your friends become when you’re not here, you wouldn’t push yourself so hard to return when you’re obviously not well.”

 

He smiled, and the smile now held a hint of sadness. “All the more reason to listen to me, don’t you think? There’s no need to sit through this class, I’ll lend you my notes later. You do it often enough for me, Lily. We’re even. Now, switch seats with me and rest a bit with your good-for-nothing boyfriend.”

 

He was out of the chair and pushing Lily towards James immediately, and she mouthed “thanks” as she traded seats with him and placed her head next to James, but he was so focused on the class now, she didn’t think he saw her.

 

She would tell him later. After all, she had time.

 

She slipped into darkness, and dark thoughts assaulted her again, just as they had assaulted her when she was awake. There was a war going on outside the walls of Hogwarts, and who was to say if they were prepared for what they were about to face? Maybe they wouldn’t survive. Maybe she wouldn’t survive.

 

Was it really a show of good judgment to tie herself to James when there were so many other things that seemed more important?  Did she really deserve the happiness she found in his arms when so many people who’d do much more than she were alone and desperate? Was it really fair?

 

Darkness enveloped her completely, and when she opened her eyes again she was sitting in a dimly lit room, the only light the tenuous beams of moonlight that filtered through the closed curtains.  The sky outside was clear, and the stars shone brightly in the sky, blinking dots that turned the black space into a breathtaking view.

 

And then she noticed the room, the light green of the soft curtains, the darker shade of the walls, by far the prettiest she’d ever seen, and the wooden crib near the corner, green sheets curled up in a tiny hand.

 

A strange feeling came over her as she stared at the tiny hand, and she stood rooted to the spot as a tiny flame of hope began to burn inside her. Looking around wildly, she spotted a couple of fluffy teddy bears, and she idly wondered if she would have bought them. A toy broom rested against the corner, and when she turned her eyes to the ceiling, certainty hit her so hard she had to grab onto the chair to keep her balance.

 

The ceiling was enchanted, much like the Great Hall at Hogwarts, she supposed, but it wasn’t enchanted to look like the sky outside. Instead, it was enchanted to look like a Quidditch pitch, the players moving around as if a game was going on.

 

Only James, she thought as she walked towards the crib slowly, heart beating wildly. A few seconds later she stood dumfounded in front of a small boy, not even a year old, with jet black hair as messy as James’, and a serene expression on his face.  

 

He was beautiful, perfect, and he was hers. She couldn’t explain the strange certainty that had taken hold of her heart, and she didn’t even want to. All she knew was that …this was her future, and her future looked much brighter than she had envisioned. Her future had James, and a baby boy in it. A family, her family.

 

A soft gurgling noise came from the crib, and Lily’s eyes met their equal, a pair of eyes as green as her own. Filled with tenderness, she scooped the boy up in her arms, marveling at the feel of him, the soft baby skin, the incoherent mumble, and the way he clung to her red hair with possessiveness, but without hurting her.

 

She’d had so little time with him, was barely getting used to his weight against her and the feel of his soft hair against her cheek, when a pair of strong arms surrounded her from behind and she came face to face with the smirking face of James Potter.

 

“James,” she muttered disbelievingly, almost as if she couldn’t believe he was here, even though it made sense, considering the baby boy she held in her arms, and the thoughts that were running through her head just moments ago.

 

“You’re …”

“Yes, yes …I know,” he sighed as his lips pressed a soft kiss against her brow. “I’m late. I swear I couldn’t get away before, and this time it wasn’t my fault. Sirius had good news to share, so you can imagine the ruckus. Moody wasn’t pleased,” he finished with a dramatic sigh. “But since I figured you’d want to hear the good news yourself, they’re all down there …yes, including Remus.”

 

She smiled uncertainly as she held the baby closer. “Eh, but he …”

 

“Bloody h—eh, I mean …bring the baby down, dear. You know they’d all love to see him. But do try to keep him away from Sirius today. He’s a little more ….er, energetic than usual.” He winked at her before grabbing a hold of her hand to lead her downstairs.

 

The rest of the house came into view as Lily walked down the mahogany stairs and came to a brightly illuminated living room, soft-looking armchairs surrounding a plump sofa, while on the corner a long polished table held a vase of scarlet geraniums that gave the room a bright note of color.

 

Three familiar-looking men stood in the middle of the room, light brown hair with a tiny glint of grey falling against the smooth and smiling face of one Remus Lupin, looking tired and a bit haggard, but exuding the same warmth and companionship Lily had come to associate with him. In the corner near the flowers, stood a still plump-looking Peter, rosy cheeks and dazzling smile in contrast with the mischievous glint in his eyes that Lily could swear was a direct result of the years spent in the company of Sirius and James. And close to the stairs, staring at Harry like he were a new toy he couldn’t wait to get his hands on, stood Sirius Black, all long hair and sparkling eyes.

 

“Lily!” he was the first to exclaim as he advanced towards her open-armed, waiting for her to hand over baby over. But she couldn’t let go of him, his tiny hands still clutched her hair like a lifeline, even as he tried to wave to the three smiling men.

 

“Oh, you stop trying to monopolize his time, Padfoot,” Remus said as he hunched over so he could come face to face with the baby and then disrupted his serious image by sticking out his tongue at the boy.

 

Just as the baby giggled, Sirius huffed as he threw himself into a chair, staring at Remus with something akin to annoyance. “Yes, yes, whatever Mr. I-lose-my-dignity-every-time-I step-into-this-house,” he said mockingly.

 

“Oh, stop being a baby and tell Lily your big news, Padfoot,” James urged as he plopped down besides Sirius, only to look behind and stare at Peter. “Are you trying to grow roots or what, mate?  Sit down!”

 

Startled, Peter walked to the armchair in the corner as he muttered something about the innocent one always ending up in the middle of everything. But he was smiling, and Lily could clearly see he was only joking.

 

“So, what’s the big news?” she asked.

 

Sirius’s face light up and he sat down straight before proclaiming. “You’re looking at the new Beater for the Falmouth Falcons!”

 

“Oh,” she said as she smiled brightly. “That’s …great news, Sirius!”

 

“Yes, it is,” Remus proclaimed from his position, still amusing Harry with funny faces. “Especially for Peter and I, as we won’t have to put up with him complaining he’s bored every …eh, what is it Peter?”

 

“Hmm …about five seconds, last time we checked.”

 

“Right, every five seconds.”

 

“That’s not true!” Sirius had to respond, for argument’s sake, as James tried to contain his laughter and Peter nodded at Lily that it was.

 

She believed it. Sirius could be many things, a great friend among them, and extremely annoying at times was definitively on the list. And as he tried to argue and his friends continued with their teasing remarks, Lily smiled. This future …it was perfect. Everything she’d ever wanted.

 

And, it was only the start.

 

“Oooouch!” A piercing scream right in her ear brought her out of her dream state in a hurry as James jumped in the chair, glasses askew and looked wildly around.

 

“Class is over,” Remus announced with a smile as he finished gathering his things. “Are you feeling better, Lily?” he asked, noticing the subtle change in her eyes.

 

“Yes,” she responded, valiantly trying to grasp the last remains of her dream that were slowly fading away. “I had a pleasant dream.”

 

“See, I told you,” he said as they headed for the door. “And James, would you please wake up Peter? You know he doesn’t wake up that easily, and it’s terribly dreadful of you to leave him there.”

 

“Yes, Mum!” James stuck his tongue out at Remus as he went to wake up their slumbering friend, and Remus took the chance to ask again. “You sure you’re all right?”

 

“Yes,” she said smiling softly at him. The upcoming war and the dark days that would indeed come for them the moment they got out of school were still an unshakable part of her future. But in between those bright days, there was hope, and joy, and laughter. And maybe this tale would have a happy ending after all, even if it was not a fairy tale.

 

The End

 

A/N: So, here it is …my first shot at L/J. Though I must admit I’m liking this young Remus thing. (Anne: Because young Remus is sure not to have a mustache!) *giggles* He ended up having a larger role than he was supposed to have, but you know me …I couldn’t help it. This one is for Carissa…now, please be nice and go write. :p (Anne: Yes, Carissa needs to write!)