(A/N: I would like to thank
all my beta-readers: LoneAstronomer, Katinka, Alistria, and Kelley! To my
readers, I really hope you like this!)
Have you ever
felt alone? Ignored? Betrayed? I have...too often. I am only 14 years old,but
I feel like I'm a hundred. Somehow I feel like my life is not the way it should
be. At my age, I should be giggling about boys, skiving off classes, even
getting into some good-natured trouble.
Instead, I find
myself alone on a dark night, with a heavy heart. You see, tonight You
received someone. Someone I cared about. Someone who was very remarkable.
Though my heart bleeds for him, my heart bleeds even more for the boy who loved
him...now the man who lost him. I bleed for Harry Potter.
Every impulse I
have had over the years to grab him and hold him until his wounds are healed is
amplified, reaching a greater intensity now than it ever has before. Yes, I
know what I have told people. And I know You see the truth. Looking back, I
think I might have had a crush on Harry when I first met him. But after he
saved my life, my heart has never stopped loving him.
To see him in so
much pain...so much torment...it tears my very heart out. This is not an
accusation. I am not trying to bargain with You. I'm not even going to ask why
You took Sirius from Harry when Harry needed him most. I am only going to ask
You to watch over Harry. A pang in my gut urges me to yell at You for allowing
this to happen. Then I see that everyone else is blaming Dumbledore, and since
I am the only one who seems to think he is not to blame, I can't help but feel
maybe You are not to blame either.
In this, I am
both relieved and terrified. Everyone thought Dumbledore was indestructible,
that he had all the answers, and enough strength to bear their burdens as well
as his own. I never did. He is a great man, but he is a man. No matter how
wonderful a job You did in creating him, he has flaws and weaknesses just like
the rest of us.
Maybe so do You.
I don't know. I search every inch of my heart for some reasoning behind all
this, and admittedly...I come up short. I must find promise in my own
ignorance, in the hope that You really do have control; that You see the big
picture when no one else can see anything at all.
I am scared, yes,
but I trust You completely. And I trust Dumbledore to help us in the best way
he can. And I trust my Mum and Dad and brothers to be there. I trust Hermione
to keep my secrets. And I trust the Order to fight a tireless battle until the
day Voldemort is finally defeated.
But most of all,
I trust Harry. I trust him to always be strong. I trust him to always be
valiant. I trust him to always be caring. And when everyone else gives up, I
trust him to always have faith.
My Friend. My
Love. My Rock. Harry Potter.