Disclaimer: I don't own anything but this fic; I'm just an
overly-obsessed adult Harry Potter fan. (And yes, nineteen counts as adult).
I suppose that in every family,
there's a huge rift. No matter how tight the family is, they will always be torn
apart by one person, the one family member that decides which ones are worthy,
and which ones are scum. The "scum" often ends up on the ground,
repeatedly being hurt until they can't take anymore, thrown into nothingness,
just because of the fact that they didn't do what was expected of them. And the
"worthy" go on, laughing while the people they should love fall down
deep into bottomless pits.
But then, you never know when
someone you love will, in fact, commit the dreaded sin of murder, the dreaded
sin of taking a life. And it is shocking when you find out that the life taken
was the one person from your past that you ever had even a hint of respect for.
Even a Seer could not tell you exactly when and how such a thing would happen.
My story begins the evening of
June 20th. I was washing my clothes, when I heard a loud knock on my door. It
was one of those times where somehow, all you have to do is move towards the
door, and you realize that the knock was almost too firm and frantic to be a
simple visitor coming to share good news, or to say hello.
I opened the door anxiously,
and I looked to see a man at my door. Though he was young, somehow he looked so
old; his robes were shabby, and his hair had gray in it. Then I realized at once
who it was-it was Remus Lupin. How could I have not known? I'd known him some
time ago, when we both went to Hogwarts, and Nymphadora, my daughter, had shown
me some new pictures over Christmas. I remembered she'd told me how much she'd
"Remus?" I said. Why
was he here?
said, nodding in my direction. There was a look on his face that I could not
really understand; it was almost as if he wasn't sure of his own feelings.
Starting to get panicked, I asked
"It's Nymphadora. There
was an attack at the Ministry this evening, and she was attacked by a
"Oh. God." I gasped,
my hand flying to my mouth. "Is she going to be okay?"
"She'll make a full
recovery, but for now she is at St. Mungo's." Remus replied.
I nodded. "I'll go there
at once." I would have notified Ted, but he was out of town for work.
"Gosh, what happened? And why isn't Sirius with you?"
I could have sworn I saw Remus
flinch. "That will be explained there.. I think Tonks should tell you
herself." He said. Those were not the words I'd wanted to hear, but I
nodded, and followed.
Soon, I found myself rushing
through the crowd at St. Mungo's. I ran up to the desk, panting. Remus was
behind me, trying to catch up.
"Nymphadora Tonks." I
told the lady. She nodded, and told me the direction.
I repeated the direction to
myself, rushing into her room. It seemed that I couldn't say anything else-as
if knowledge of other words had been taken from my brain.
"Nymphie?" I said,
walking over to the bed of my daughter. My daughter opened her eyes; she seemed
to be semi-conscious.
"Mum?" She asked, looking
at me closely. I nodded.
"Good." She said, her
voice faint and tired. I gave her a hug, trying not to cry. I'd realized this
could happen, but why on her first year as an Auror? Why?
"Mum, he's gone." Nymphadora
said. "They tried to save him."
"Who?" I asked.
Nymphadora stared at me.
"Remus didn't tell you?"
"No, I wanted you
to." Remus said. I noticed he seemed to be lingering, and he was concentrating
very hard on the window.
said, sounding unnaturally sad for her, "It's Sirius. A-Aunt Bella killed him,
they told me what happened when I woke up. He was cursed, and fell through an
archway of some sort. He's gone."
The word "dead"
started to echo in my head; my second youngest cousin, whom I'd regarded as a
brother, was gone. The only one who hadn't turned against me for marrying Ted;
the only one who understood why I cared about Muggles. I'd just gotten him back
again, even if I wasn't allowed to see him-we couldn't take any risks-and now
he was, once again, gone from me and everyone else.
"No." I whispered.
"He can't be gone. Not now."
My daughter sat up, struggling
quite a bit, and gave me a hug. Remus watched us, obviously unsure of what to
do. Finally, he spoke.
"He spoke well of you,
Andromeda." His voice seemed to be breaking. "He told me that you'd
once told him you knew he was innocent, before anyone else did."
It was true that I had known;
in fact, I had tried to get him a trial, but naturally his parents had
persuaded Crouch not to allow him one, saying they knew he was evil and that
they knew he would kill them. The only one who'd kept her mouth shut was Bellatrix,
and that was just so she wouldn't have to deny working for You-Know-Who.
"Does the Ministry
know?" I asked. I supposed they'd all throw a triumphant celebration if
they knew; after all, who'd want a loyal, loving guy like Sirius to be given a
trial, and not assumed a cold-blooded murderer? God forbid they wonder if there
are any decent people left in this world.
"No." Remus said, his
voice cold and bitter. "They have no idea, they didn't see a body, did
they? And we weren't about to say anything. The only thing we told them was
that Voldemort was back, and proved it by showing them the Death Eaters.
Surprisingly, they actually seemed to believe us, although according to
Dumbledore, Fudge almost had him arrested anyway. So we think the rest of the
world will now know the truth, at least.."
"And what good has that
done us?" I spat. "My sisters are Death Eaters, I don't know if my
parents are still rotting in Azkaban, or if they're dead, and the only other
person I really love besides Ted and Nymphie is under some stupid Ministry of
Magic building. And the Death Eater stuff is all the same- You Know Who could
attack any time, just as he could've before, except now Fudge just knows, but
I'm sure he'll just arrest more innocent people anyway."
Both Nymphadora and Remus
stared at me, shocked. I took a deep breath, and exhaled. I closed my eyes,
hoping I'd wake up, hoping that this was some horrible nightmare, and that when
I opened them, I would be ten again, and my family wouldn't be filled with
Death Eaters, but loving people who cared about me, and that we'd all be
But when I opened them, none of
that was happening. I was still in some ward at St. Mungo's, and my daughter
and her friend were looking at me as if I was going to explode any minute. I
suddenly felt a strange surge of hate for everything; I hated Cornelius Fudge,
I hated Peter Pettigrew, I hated my parents, I hated my stupid sisters and my
brother in laws, I hated my nephew, whom I'd never even met.. I even realized I
hated being a witch.
"It's only normal to feel that
way." Remus said. I stared at him.
"I have my ways of knowing
how you feel," he replied, seeing my confused expression. "Plus, it's
not as if I've never been in your place."
"You didn't lose
anyone." I snapped.
"I lost James, Lily and
Peter. And Sirius." Remus replied. "I don't even count Peter, but for
a long time I'd thought I did. And before, I did still miss the Sirius I
thought had changed-and now, I still feel like something's been taking out of
my body. So I've been through this twice now."
"Oh, yeah, you cared so
much about Sirius, you just never dared to wonder if he could be innocent, and
you never helped me try and get him a trial! Yeah, that's right!"
"Mum!" but she didn't need to; I already felt a horrible pang of
guilt for saying that. I never liked to insult people, but right now I had no
stammered, but Remus put his hand up.
"It's okay." He said.
"Remus, I'm sorry." I
“Really,” Remus said, “You’re right, I’ve never lost a
family member… but I know it must be hard on you.”
Nymphadora was looking back
and forth from him to me. Finally, she closed her eyes and laid back.
I felt completely lousy; I
turned back to Nymphadora. "I have to go now too, sweetie." I didn't
want to leave, but I knew I would have to, and I had a feeling that tonight, we
both should be alone. Sometimes being alone is terrible; but other times, it can
be the best state to be in.
Nymphadora nodded. "Are
you writing to Dad?"
"Yes, honey. I know he'll
be here as soon as possible." Then I realized something. "Next week's
She would be twenty-one. Twenty
one years ago, I had dreamed of my daughter growing up a wonderful life, going
to Hogwarts, and probably working for the Ministry of Magic later. I had hoped
that she'd be full of the innocence I never got to have, even if her relatives
were all murderers, I'd hoped that she'd never have to face her parents going
to Azkaban, never have to be disowned by her own family, just because she knew
what true love meant.
Yes, she'd gotten those things;
and yet, over the past year, my baby girl had had to face the chance of being
killed almost every day, and just a few hours before, had watched a 15 year old
being faced with a possible death sentence, being cursed to the point of
serious injury, and then reviving only to find out that one of her few relatives
had just been killed.
And she wasn't even a woman
Just then, a Healer came into
the room. "Ma'am, I'm sorry but you have to leave."
I wanted to say, "excuse
me, my daughter's been through shit in the past twelve hours, if I want to be
with her, I can." But I knew it'd do no good.
So instead, I gave my precious Nymphie
a hug. "Sweet dreams." I whispered.
I apparated back to my house,
ran upstairs, intending to write to Ted, and then fall onto the bed in tears.
But what could would that do? Tears wouldn't make Harry, who'd just lost yet
another parent figure, feel better. Tears wouldn't make Bella and Narcissa
better people. Tears wouldn't make Nymphadora's wounds go away. And tears
wouldn't bring back Sirius.
Slowly, I opened my drawer, and
took out a picture I kept in there. In it, Sirius and I are playing Tag together.
Suddenly, Sirius tags me from behind-and when I turn around, he jumps into my
arms, and we both laugh, our hair, a raven black, being shined by the sun, and
our smiles making the photo even more pleasant.
I smiled, and then felt the
urge to cry once more. But I knew that I couldn't.
Tears can't defeat evil; the
only thing strong enough to conquer evil is love.
"Sirius Black," I
whispered, "I can't believe you died, but I love you, you little