Notes: We realize this is really odd. We realize you won't
all of our absurd references. We don't mind. We think it's fun
Disclaimer: There's no way we'd ever be able to name
we stole, so we won't try. Nothing is ours, a lot is Disney's or J.
Rowling's, and we're not making any money anyway. What a cruel
However, we will say that Ariadne Rutherford is Hallie's character,
as we may love her. The Mary Poppins idea really is original,
the fic recently posted at The Sugar Quill (Would somebody please
me what that's called so I can read it? - L.A.). The Yahoo chat that
the madness is testimony to the fact- it will be provided upon
We also shamelessly stole the title- Magical Mystery Tour- from the
(to which there are many obscure references). There are also a good
of out-of-context X-Files quotes.
Apologies: We're sorry we're subjecting you to this. Walter
if you weren't rolling over in your grave, we'd be sorry for causing
death. Lone Astronomer would like to apologize especially to Mother
and whoever performs Little Red Riding Hood (the song). Our
apologies to J. K. Rowling.
Rating: PG-13 for mild swearing and shirtless Oliver
Harry regarded Hermione with the most disbelieving of glances,
if he were dreaming. "You want me to what?" he said, completely
"Not I want, Harry," Hermione reminded him, still holding
the form he was supposed to fill out. "The Commonwealth for Magical
They want you to fly in the charity Quidditch match on Saturday. And
quite sure you heard me the first time and we both know you won't
so you might as well just take the signup sheet already and fill in
Harry took it from her, grumbling, and signed his name on the form.
I at least get to choose my team?"
Perking up a bit, Hermione said, "Oh, I suppose so. Three of the
council want to play, but you can choose your Beaters and a
At the mention of his Keeper, Harry felt his face warm. Out of
he looked over his shoulder.
"For goodness sake, Harry," Hermione chided. "You'd know if
was in the room."
His blush deepened. He held up the contract. "I guess I'd better go
some Weasleys," he said, shaking his head.
She put out a hand to stop him. "Not so fast." She had yet another
of parchment in her hand now, quite a bit longer. "There's still the
"Sponsors?" said Harry weakly.
"I'm sending this letter to Witch Weekly." Hermione
"It's the easiest way and probably the most responsive. All you have
do is look it over and make any corrections you feel are
This was new. Hermione was making him the final copy editor?
had all the grammatical grace of a flying cow. He gave it a
glance, then nodded in apparent satisfaction. "Perfect as always,
She shook off his dry tone and snatched her letter back. "That's
she said. "Hermione Granger, practically perfect in every way."
Something about the way she laughed after saying this should have
Harry on alert. But he really had no idea…
ONE WEEK LATER, the Muggle Studies classroom. Due to the absence
the Muggle Studies teacher, Hermione is substituting the class. Ron,
he has neglected to inform Hermione that he has Divination, has been
to tag along.
Ron surveyed the class, impressed. It hadn't even been five minutes
Hermione had announced her hostile takeover of the Muggle Studies
and already the students respected her. He figured that it was
because Hermione was very intimidating. Someone had dared speak out
turn and had ended up utterly humiliated by a series of
Muggle trivia questions. In teacher mode, he discovered, she was
like Professor McGonagall. She was also very fond of chalk; she had
her name in huge block letters on the blackboard so that the
wouldn't have to say, 'hey, you,' and the dust was starting to
Luckily, she hadn't set too high a mark for the class that day.
were to be going over Muggle scripts and photography in preparation
watching a Muggle film the following class, Smarmy Bobbins or
Ron flipped through his copy halfheartedly, then stopped. Around the
of the page, there was a very long word. He decided to ask Hermione
Hermione was in the middle of explaining the Muggle film-developing
to a third year. She had chalk on the sleeve of her robe. Ron could
the dust getting up his nose. "Hermione," he asked when she was done
explanation, "what is a supercalibrat-"
"A what?" she said with a slight smile.
Ron ignored the queasiness this induced in his stomach. "That word,
he said, trading papers with her. He noticed that the photograph
had been explaining was of Harry, remembering when he'd taken it
Hermione's camera the summer before. "What's this mean?
Ron paused, bracing for a sneeze, but the tickle passed.
he finished, relieved. And sneezed all over the photograph.
Ginny Weasley dipped her toes into the lake and hummed as she made
few more marks in her sketchbook. It was a lovely time to be
had been cancelled due to Professor Flitwick’s fifth year
accidentally putting an Elevator Music Charm on the
"Looks just like him, except…I’ve seen him without a shirt and it’s
Ginny jumped and clutched her sketchbook to her chest. "Myrtle!"
glowered at the ghost hovering over the lake trying to peer at her
"What are you doing out here?"
Myrtle looked very sour at this comment, well, more sour than usual
"I am not confined to the castle like most of the ghosts," she gave
an offended look, as if she were to guess this offhandedly. "I can
on the grounds…I just have to stay around the lake. I only came out
because I was tired of listening to Eloise Midgen cry about some
boy never noticing her."
"Eloise likes Neville?" asked Ginny, interested. "I didn’t know
Myrtle pushed a piece of mousy-silvery hair out of her mouth and
sulkily at Ginny. "I don’t like her. She flushed my loo when I told
she should wear robes that fit her. When…"—Myrtle’s eyes filled with
I was simply making suggestions to help her! She doesn’t bother to
suggestions to me… I’m just dead … she doesn’t care…."
Ginny refrained from rolling her eyes. "How very helpful of you,
Myrtle’s attention snapped back to Ginny. "Can I see your
Ginny frowned. Myrtle had a huge mouth; surely she would blab to
that Ginny had drawn a picture of her Quidditch Captain. Plus, she
was quite fond of this one. Why would a ghost show such an interest
a sketch of Harry?
"Why?" Ginny asked flatly.
"I liked it. When I was—," Myrtle gave a liquidy sniffle," alive. I
Ginny wasn’t convinced. There were loads of paintings and drawings
the castle that Myrtle could look at. "You fancy Harry, don’t
She half expected and half wanted Myrtle to go into wild hysterics
being reminded she was dead, and there was no plausible way she
have Harry, but Myrtle remained floating over the lake…much to
surprise, placidly. Like a horrible silver colored buoy.
"You do," confirmed Ginny, smirking at her. It was very refreshing
torment Myrtle about this for some reason. "But you’re dead."
was sure to annunciate every word, especially dead.
Myrtle crossed her arms and Ginny could tell she was putting up an
fight to keep from sniveling about being dead. She supposed Myrtle
really like Harry a lot then.
"You’re one to taunt me," Myrtle said, in what Ginny guessed, her
of a high and mighty voice. "You’re sketching him. He wouldn’t like
at all. Even ghosts aren’t that scary."
Ginny blushed. Ouch. She looked up at Myrtle. "But you’re
she repeated cheerfully. Being mean on purpose to Moaning Myrtle
was deliciously entertaining, and Ginny decided that she should
do it more often.
"Harry is nearly killed every year," Myrtle said floating closer to
"I’ve only got to wait until he’s a ghost like me. Then we can spend
"Shut up," said Ginny hotly. That was going too far. No wonder
wanted Harry, she thought he was going to die at any second…and he
be with her. "He’s not going to die! And he wouldn’t be a ghost
"How do you know?" Myrtle wiped her nose on the corner of her
"I’m not showing you the picture!" Ginny slapped the sketchbook
down on the grass.
Myrtle looked at Ginny appraisingly. "What makes you think you
him more than me?"
Ginny snorted. She really had to repeat herself? "You’re dead."
"And what if you were also?"
Ginny frowned and felt a little uncomfortable after Myrtle’s
"Even then," she responded shakily, "I wouldn’t want him to die just
Myrtle gave her a patronizing look. "Mortals," she said rolling her
"Some mortals," Ginny said snappily, "aren’t selfish, like ghosts.
if the ghosts weren’t selfish mortals in their lifetime, they very
wouldn’t be stuck as ghosts, now would they?"
If Myrtle had had the ability to be another color other than bleary
Ginny expected she would be bright red at this moment. "You can be
high minded as you like—," Myrtle’s voice was becoming very
"but you still want him."
"I don’t see why that is any of your concern."
"I want that drawing."
"I want that drawing," Myrtle repeated tonelessly.
"No!" said Ginny angrily. "Leave me alone! I’m going to report you
Dumbledore if you don’t cut it out!" She scooped up her sketchpad
began stalking off towards the castle.
Myrtle stomped her foot soundlessly and began shrieking. "If I
have that drawing, I’ll…I’ll…."
"You’ll die?" commented Ginny, turning around to smirk at Myrtle.
"How dare you! I hate you!" screeched Myrtle, beating the air with
Ginny was almost pleased with herself. Myrtle was throwing a
fit. And after all this time, she had thought that Myrtle was only
of whiny tears. Ginny pushed her ponytail behind her and tried to
where she could go sit in peace.
What would Myrtle do with her drawing?
"If," Ginny said loudly, "I gave it to you, what would you do with
Myrtle stopped crying so suddenly that Ginny was quite impressed. A
like that had to have been practiced for quite awhile. "Keep it of
she said thickly, wiping the tears from her glasses.
"Don’t be stupid, Myrtle." Ginny signed her name to the drawing and
it off the sketchpad. "This--" she waved it enticingly under
nose-- "this is a real, solid, mortal object. You are a
you couldn’t hold it if you wanted to!"
"You’re the one being stupid," sniffed Myrtle. "I can have that."
"How?" demanded Ginny. This was ridiculous. Why was she humoring a
"Simple. You have to willingly give it to me. Then it becomes mine
I can touch it."
Ginny had to admit she had never heard of that before. Of course,
never made it a habit to regularly converse with ghosts.
"Why should I give it to you? I don’t get anything."
"I haven’t had anything new in decades," whined Myrtle.
one picture to a mortal? You can draw another whenever you want to."
"But I don’t owe it to you," Ginny argued. If she had learned
from living with her brothers it was never to bargain for
quickly. "You don’t even like me!"
"You don’t like me either."
Myrtle floated up right next to Ginny and kept up with her as she
across the grounds. Ginny realized that Myrtle was still shorter
her, even hovering a bit off the ground.
"You’re a Gryffindor," Myrtle said slowly, as if she had just
"Duh. It’s only written on my robes."
"Then we’ll have a contest."
Ginny made a face. Oh brother. "What sort of contest?"
"If you win, you get Harry. If I win, I get the drawing."
"Why do I not believe you?" Ginny snorted.
"It’s not even a real contest, you’d just be competing against
If you win, you get Harry, if you don’t win, you’ll be exactly where
Ginny narrowed her eyes. That was rude of Myrtle to say. "Tell me
Myrtle picked the spot on her chin and looked quite pleased with
Ginny had never seen Myrtle look so happy and it bothered her
Myrtle had plotted something.
"I’ll give you three days to get Harry to kiss you. If he does, you
and you’ll know he likes you back…."
"And if he doesn’t, you get my drawing," finished Ginny.
"Right," said Myrtle.
"I suppose it’s an okay idea…." Ginny blushed. This might be the
she needed to get closer to Harry. "Sounds fair."
"It’s not fair at all," said Myrtle.
"What? You just made up the rules!"
"Not all of them. You have an unfair advantage of winning."
"Yeah well, I’m not dead," added Ginny.
Myrtle clenched her fists and Ginny saw her silver fingernails were
down to the quick. "You could just ask him to kiss you," she said
"You’re pretty, he’d say yes."
Ginny was flattered for a moment, but then she realized that Myrtle
her to drop this advantage. "Excuse me! I am NOT going to
another eye or something on my forehead! Forget it!"
Myrtle stuck out her tongue. "I didn’t say that."
"Then what do you want from me?"
"What I want from you is--" Myrtle’s face was now inches away from
and she lowered her voice into a deep rumbly growl –"your VOICE."
"Would you please not do that?" Ginny stepped back quickly
made a face at Myrtle. "Do you know how weird that was?"
"Sorry," said Myrtle as she resumed picking at her chin again. "I
"And no!" Ginny exclaimed. "I am NOT giving you my voice? Are you
Myrtle rolled her eyes. "Just for three days. I’m just making it
"Skewing the odds is more like it!"
"Some Gryffindor you are. Can’t even accept something halfway
You’ll never get Harry if you just sit around and wait for him to do
Ginny paused. "I could do it, stop patronizing me! I wouldn’t even
how to give you my voice for three days!"
Myrtle gave Ginny another exasperated look that Ginny was certain
Myrtle had ever had any friends they must have wanted to kill
just because of that look. "I can do magic you know."
"I was a witch before I died," interrupted Myrtle. "Ghosts
still do spells if a mortal permits it."
Ginny hadn’t known that either. "It must really be annoying having
get this mortal permission stuff."
"Ghosts don’t have strong magic," sighed Myrtle. "But I know I can
your voice." She crossed her arms and floated just in front of
obviously waiting for permission.
"Back off, Toilet Duck," Ginny held up her hands irritably. "I
said yes. I have classes to go to. I can’t just prance around
"Don’t you know the castle is under an enchantment?" Myrtle looked
Ginny as if she were quite stupid. Ginny reminded herself that she
strangle her. "You haven’t noticed the students and teachers walking
"Well, there’s some sort of enchantment over it, I’m not sure if
of them have noticed it yet…. Plus, I don’t think anyone can reverse
in three days."
"Is it a bad enchantment?"
Myrtle shrugged. "If someone keels over, you’ll know."
"What? More company for me!"
"And what if they figure it out?"
"If they break the enchantment in before the third day is up, we
just call off the contest."
Ginny thought about this. "Well…."
"You want Harry, don’t you? You’re mortal, you haven’t got
the time in the world…."
Ginny narrowed her eyes. "You’re on."
Myrtle rubbed her hands together. "I need permission."
"Er, you have my permission," said Ginny nervously. Something about
entire thing seemed to scream an owl home to her parents. Oh well.
Mrytle steepled her fingers and smiled wickedly. "Ex-cellent."
Ginny rolled her eyes. "Have you finished being creepy?"
"All I need for you to do is to sing," Myrtle said excitedly. "You
do that, can’t you?"
"Yes," Ginny was becoming quite annoyed. "Yes, I can SING."
"Then do it!"
Ginny cleared her throat and smiled confidently. "I’d like to be
the sea, in an octopus’s garden in the shade."
"That’s terrible!" Myrtle interrupted wrinkling her nose.
Ginny glared at her. "I’ll just hum a few bars then."
"I bet you will," muttered Myrtle.
Ginny began humming while still managing to make a sour face at
Suddenly she couldn’t hum anymore… But she hadn’t felt anything!
Ginny lifted her hand to her throat and tried to speak. Her nose
Her voice really was gone.
Sybil Trewlaney poured a cup of tea for the red-headed woman
on the pouf in front of her. The woman clearly didn’t possess any
abilities worth speaking of, and Sybil had just began to ponder why
woman had been sent to her…appearing out of nowhere.
"No, thank you," said the woman waving her hand at the tea. She was
angrily with a small black object with rows of numbers on it.
"You’re foreign," said Sybil, setting a crystal ball in front of
"We should consult the misty depths of the orb to discover the
we have crossed stellar pathways."
"We should not," said the woman impatiently. "I know why. Because
showed up with a plane ticket to Scotland and as damned usual I
know what is going on."
"Ask the tea leaves your fate, my child." Sybil pushed the teacup
"I don’t drink tea," said the woman, "and judging from this
you have set up here, I doubt those are just tea leaves in that
The red head turned her attention to Sybil, and raised an eyebrow.
phone battery would be far more helpful, thank you."
"Cell phone?" said Sybil, gazing at the black object. "Is this Dark
you speak of?"
"Dark magic? Listen, Madam Cleo, I don’t know where the hell I am
I don’t really have time for your games. This is a cell
she held up the black object to illustrate her point. "You know…ring
"You’re at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," said Sybil.
this Ministry business?"
The woman looked slightly relieved at this phrase. "You know about
then. I’m from America. F.B.I., Special Agent Dana Scully." The red
flashed a slip of paper at her, with a picture on it.
"Fellowship of Broom Inspectors? I’m afraid you’re going to want to
with Madam Hooch."
"I’m sorry, did you say school of Witchcraft and Wizardry,
Sybil nodded, calmly stirring her tea. "Of course."
"Mulder," she swore under her breath, "has outdone himself this
"This Mulder you speak of…."
"He’s my partner," she said, absentmindedly pacing the floor. "We
following a man who Mulder assumed to be a werewolf…and somehow I
up here…I can’t figure it out."
"My dear, shall I do a short crystal gaze to help you remember?"
"Listen, I haven’t got any cash on me, nor the time for this."
"Don’t you belong under some carnival tent somewhere?" said the
glaring at her.
"Closing yourself from your inner-eye can only cause you more
about your situation," said Sybil, waving her wand towards the
and drawing her spidery purple shawl around her tighter.
"Neat trick," said the woman, rolling her eyes, "but I’m not giving
my credit card. The F.B.I. doesn’t exactly have a space for
on its expense reports."
Scully gave an exasperated sigh. "You know, money…surely
makes sense to you."
"Money!" exclaimed Sybil in spite of herself. She glared at the
and adjusted herself on her pouf. "A true diviner does not ask for
for helping confused and lost souls!"
"Great, a fortune-teller with morals. How lucky of me."
"Diviner," said Sybil coldly. She was really becoming irritated
"Diviner, whatever you say. What if I let you read my palm…will you
me how to get out of this place?"
"Most certainly," said Sybil.
The woman thrust her palm out and rolled her eyes. "No funny
I’ve got a gun."
Sybil studied her palm. "You have a very odd love line, my dear."
"You’re telling me," said Scully dryly.
The fortune teller ignored her. "Interesting... do you often cross
with a tall, dark, desirable man?"
In spite of herself, a smile tugged at the corner of Scully's
"If you mean Mulder, then yes, we work together."
"And you're... friends?"
Scully shook her head. The woman had it all wrong. "We're more than
We're partners." Her brain finally caught up with her mouth and she
somewhat horrified, "Not like that!"
The other woman raised an eyebrow. "How, then?"
Scully shrugged, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. "When he's
I feed his fish."
"And is he often gone?"
Something about the question set off warning bells in Scully's
She was sure she must be spending too much time in an
haze; she had no precognitive ability; that sort of thing was
department. Still, she felt that she had to answer honestly. "You
I think about our future, and I wonder if he's even there."
"He loves you," said Sybil prophetically.
Scully's eyebrows nearly disappeared into her hairline. "He
She was seriously regretting allowing this woman to even read her
and was now very glad that she hadn't let her do a Tarot reading, as
Finally she laughed. "Good joke. Where's my partner hiding?"
Sybil leaned back a bit. "I don't know." And then, as if to make up
the fact that she had just admitted that she wasn't omniscient,
looking for you."
"And how would I go about finding him?"
"I sense," the Diviner answered, moving aside a rug and exposing a
door, "that you need to go down."
Ginny was annoyed. Couldn’t anyone see what was going on? Even
didn’t seem away that she was behaving oddly. In fact, she had made
a show at the dinner table by pulling at least twenty books out of
bag. Harry just seemed very bewildered about it all.
Ginny wanted to tell everyone what was going on, but of course…she
speak. How was it that she seemed to get herself into situations
"This soup is too hot!" wailed Lavender Brown.
Ginny slapped her forehead. She was so stupid…she could just write
out to Harry! She yanked parchment out of her bag and started to
"Try mine, Lav." Parvati switched bowls with her.
Lavender took a sip. "Too cold!"
Parvati adjusted the blue headband in her hair and shook her head.
"Hey, Ginny," said Harry. "I’ve got a question."
Ginny looked up sharply. She nodded, hoping this would be enough
Harry to continue talking.
"I’ve been signed up for some charity Quidditch thing and Hermione
I should do it…and I get to choose most of my teammates. So, I was
of hoping you wouldn’t mind being Keeper for it…you know…since we’re
to being on the same team…."
Ginny nodded reverently. And you could kiss me after the game,
you wouldn’t mind….
"Great!" Harry said, "I’ll owl them after dinner."
"Hey, look," said Ron, pointing at the ceiling, "there’s a really
owl coming towards us right now."
"It’s a bird!" cried Parvati.
"Of course it’s a bird," said Hermione, rolling her eyes.
"It’s a plane!" exclaimed Dean Thomas.
"A what?" Half the table turned to look at him.
"What’s a plane?" asked Neville.
"No," said Hermione, "it’s…duck!"
"A duck?" Ron looked at her. "You’re crazy."
Just then a small pachyderm crash-landed in the middle of the
Goblets, plates, and food showered everywhere.
"It’s…an elephant," said Lavender.
A baby elephant with very large, comical ears sat happily on the
house table, which was bowing in the middle because of his weight.
Harry was wiping pumpkin juice off his face. "Why is there an
on the table?"
"Curiouser and curiouser," said Parvati.
The elephant waved the letter in his trunk like a flag.
"Thanks," said Harry, taking the letter. "I think…."
"Maybe Hedwig’s gone on vacation to the Tiki Bird Room," suggested
This time everyone stared.
"What are you talking about?" asked Hermione.
"I dunno, it just popped into my head," said Ron.
"Things have been sort of weird lately," said Harry.
Ginny thrust the parchment into Harry’s hand and waited for him to
He smiled warmly at her. "Thanks, my robes are sopping and I think
sitting on my napkin." He blotted the front of his robes with the
and crumpled it up.
Ginny put her hands on her face. Harry might have defeated
a handful of times, but he certainly was a bit slow sometimes.
"Who’s the letter from?" asked Ron.
Harry was writing a reply on the back of the elephant’s letter. "I
it’s from Sirius. I think the letter is a joke. The name sounds fake
"What did it say?"
"Something about some sort of land this guy owns and he wants to
a section of it about me…in America." Harry snorted. "Imagine
"It’s easy if you try," sang Ron. When the attention of the entire
turned to him again, he just shrugged and said, "What?" They went
to their dinner. He looked down at his plate, suddenly realizing
he wanted breakfast. "Scrambled eggs…"
"Ron, why are you singing to your meal?" asked Hermione.
"I don't rightly know," he answered ruefully.
MEANWHILE, two tables over…..
Draco Malfoy was cutting up his roast moodily. "Of course Potter is
to show off…."
Goyle grunted in his goblet. Crabbe continued to shovel food in his
"Trying to impress, her no doubt," scoffed Draco. "He
Crabbe stopped stuffing his mouth full of rice long enough to see
Draco had waved his hand.
"She’s the one," Draco said grandly, "the girl I’m going to marry."
Crabbe swallowed his mouthful of rice. "But she’s…."
"The most beautiful girl here," Draco finished.
Crabbe and Goyle stared at him. Goyle scratched his head.
"She’s the most beautiful and that makes her the best! And don’t I
"Yeah," said Crabbe slowly. "Is this a trick, Draco?"
"No Lafou, it isn’t!" said Draco leaping up from his seat.
Crabbe scratched his head again. "Lafou?"
Draco was too preoccupied with singing with his arm thrown out
the Gryffindor house table.
"Right from the moment when I met her, saw her….
I said she's gorgeous and I fell.
Here in town there's only she
Who is beautiful as me.
So I'm making plans to woo and marry Belle!"
"Who’s Belle?" asked Goyle blankly.
"I don’t know," said Draco now admiring his reflection in a goblet.
didn’t have time to think of a rhyme for Ginny."
"Isn’t he dreamy?" sighed Pansy Parkinson.
"He’s gorgeous," sighed the rest of the Slytherin girls together.
"Lafou! To the common room! We must think of a plan to woo Ginny!"
smiled brightly at himself in the goblet once more and strode away
Crabbe and Goyle looked at each other blankly and both followed.
MEANWHILE, walking along a path on the outskirts of
It was a good thing to be back out in the open again, Sirius
practically skipping. And it was definitely nice to be out without a
He wasn't exactly sure it was a good idea, but he figured that he
look much like his wanted poster anymore. He had flesh and muscle as
as skin and bones now. And he'd had to cut his hair. And shave his
Sirius shuddered. He did not want to think about what he'd
in his beard.
In short, no one would notice him. He was too fat to be an escaped
So Sirius skipped happily along, swinging the basket of goodies that
didn't remember getting. But he was happy. Even if someone
him, he could transform into Padfoot and run off before they could
anything. Besides, everyone knew Sirius Black wouldn't be caught
in a red cloak.
Having reached his destination, Sirius stepped up to the Shrieking
and rapped on the door. "Anybody home? I've brought a basket full of
He paused and considered his words. That was ridiculous. Why was he
like that? Besides, it was just Moony. He opened the door. "Hello?"
closed quietly behind him.
Sirius found Remus upstairs in bed, covered from neck to toe with a
and wearing a strange lacy, frilly thing on his head. He seemed to
a little under the weather. He would have to be, if he were wearing
"Hey there, Little Red Riding Hood."
"Remus. You're looking hairier than normal." He opened the basket.
Sachertorte and champagne. Hungry?"
"Wrong time of the month for chocolate," Moony grouched, wrinkling
nose at the Viennese cake. "But lay on the bubbly stuff."
Sirius Summoned two glasses from the small kitchen and poured the
Someone had been very considerate, he noted, glancing at the basket.
small tag on the side said, 'To S and R with love from J, C and
He shrugged and toasted them mentally. At the same time, he wondered
giving a werewolf alcohol the day before the full moon was going to
good for Remus' self-control. It didn't occur to him that that might
the entire point of the exercise.
Several glasses later, Remus said, "Where's that music coming
Sirius blinked. He'd noticed it, too. "Dunno. It's really hokey,
Remus nodded, then stopped and clutched at his head. "Maybe we
stop drinking this stuff. On the other hand, it could be the
Sirius fingered his wand thoughtfully, then pointed it at the
"One more note and you're toothpicks!" he growled at them. The noise
Remus regarded him curiously. "I saw it in a movie once," he
Sirius shrugged. "I don't know. It just sort of came out."
They regarded each other blearily for a few moments. Then, out of
"What big eyes you have."
They continued looking at each other. "What's going on, exactly?"
Sirius after a while. "Don't tell me that was a normal, in-character
for either of us to say."
Remus shrugged. "Maybe J, C and K drugged the champagne?"
"Maybe," Sirius agreed. "Maybe it's a conspiracy that started at
when Ron accidentally sneezed and cast a Muggle Media Charm on
photograph, resulting in everyone he knows acting like someone from
They watched each other in perfect horror for a moment before
out laughing. "That's a good one, Padfoot, but maybe you should lay
the booze." He gently removed Sirius' champagne flute from his hand.
"I agree," Sirius said. "I mean, how far-fetched can you get?"
"Muggle Media Charm," Remus said with a snort. "Honestly. Did you
make that up?"
"I don't know. I opened my mouth and the words were just
"That kind of thing can be dangerous. We should put something else
your mouth to prevent such mishaps." They watched each other for a
Finally, "You'll get the cake knife, then?"
A dark spot was growing on the wall of the castle. It started out
a tiny little point no wider than the tip of a very fine sugar
but quickly extended into a line that ran a full two meters up the
of the wall, over to the left, and down again. The bricks between
aside, opening for two young women with pen-wands and notebooks.
"Where'd you say they'd be, Cait?" the taller one asked, glancing
and looking all too eager for someone who was at a school.
"Astronomy Tower, I thought," came the answer. "But didn't you say
about the library?"
She shook her head. "I didn't write it in- should have, though.
mind- I think we have to go this way." They set off around the
Then- "Wait a second." She pulled out her quill, scribbled a few
in her notebook, and looked up again. They were suddenly right in
of the Astronomy Tower.
"Oh my," said Cait.
At the base of the Astronomy Tower stood a half a dozen
They looked as if they were waiting for something to happen.
Something did- that is, something besides the amazed staring of the
women. Harry, Ron and Hermione walked by on their way back from Care
"Hey, that's good," said Cait. "Did you just make that up?"
"No," the other said with a pout. "They're getting away from me
Something about that spell I made him use- I haven't got complete
anymore." She said all this with a very distracted air about her,
she wasn't paying much attention. Indeed, she was still watching the
Although Ron seemed to have problems discerning girls, he seemed to
no such problems when it came to boys. Either that, or he had gotten
lot better at reading Hermione's expression since Goblet of
He stepped in front of her, as if he were acting as a human wall
her and the firemen. "Hey!" he said to the two trespassers. "You're
allowed to be here! You're supposed to be writing the story!"
The blonde one crossed her arms and regarded him skeptically. "Who
She started reaching for her wand.
"Woah, Kait," said the other, "this is not the time. Hello?
Does that ring a bell?"
"Right," replied Kait, following the gaze of the other two females.
that one remind you of Charlie?"
"Excuse me!" interrupted Ron loudly, in a voice that suggested he
pretty much anything but to be excused. "But they are not supposed
be here, either. Make them go away."
"Shut up, Ron," said Hermione distractedly, staring at the
in a way that was sure to make Ron very unhappy.
The authors snickered. "Kait, give Ron a jealousy complex."
"Way ahead of you," she answered, tucking her pen away.
"I do not have a jealousy complex!" ("Good job adding denial, too,
"And get those... man-Veela out of here!"
"Shut up," Hermione hissed. "They write R/H fluff!"
"Fine," said Ron moodily (looking like cute Weasleys always do when
sulking). "If you won't get rid of them, I will." He ran over to the
of firefighters, who despite being really brave, noble, sexy, grown
fled at the sight of an enraged, screaming redheaded teenage boy.
"Can he do that?" Cait asked, aghast.
"Apparently," answered Kait. "After them!" She started to run, but
laid a restraining hand on your arm.
"Are you crazy?" she asked. "They'll get all hot and sweaty!"
Kait paused, looking almost as if she were fighting an inner
"Is that..." she said slowly, "a bad thing?"
"Won't it... tire them out?"
Cait shrugged. "I guess we'll find out later." She sighed. "It's
a pity we don't have complete control anymore. I'd really like to
Ewan in... sort of just half done to only write hot
"Tell me about it. We're not forgetting anyone, are we?"
Cait thought for a moment. "Where did you leave Remus and
Harry's eyes grew to the size of saucers.
"Shh!" Kait hissed. "Not in front of the kids!" She looked wildly
side to side. "Oh, and speaking of firefighters..."
"We're going to need some in the Astronomy Tower in oh, say, an
"They'll be done by then," Kait assured her. "At least they should
But as I've lost control..."
"I don't want to hear this!" Harry said, covering his ears. He
to sing loudly. He did not realize that his song of choice had been
bad one until he reached, "In Penny Lane, there is a fireman with an
And in his pocket is a portrait of the queen. He likes to keep his
engine clean; it's a clean machine." By that time, the two strange
were already gone.
Belle, er, Ginny was heading up to the Gryffindor common room for
This is crazy, she thought to herself. Harry won’t
me. He barely even notices me…besides, he hasn’t got the slightest
everyone is under an enchantment. Why did I agree to give my voice
Luckily, right at that moment, a very conscious Oliver Wood fell
the roof. He was quickly followed by a stack of earth-toned sweaters
landed beside him with a soft ploomf.
Hel-lo, Ginny thought, stepping back in amazement.
"Bloody hell!" exclaimed Oliver coughing from the dust and brushing
out of his sexy, tousled hair.
Ginny raised an eyebrow. Harry who?
"Where’s my shirt?!" said Oliver looking down.
Who cares? Ginny thought to herself.
"And WHY am I at Hogwarts?" Oliver stood up and brushed more
off of himself.
Cait and Kait chose this as an opportune moment to skid around the
"Oh bravo," said Kait delightedly, "We’ve got an Oliver in this
Glad we wrote ourselves in this part."
Cait was giggling furiously behind her notebook. "I had to."
"Shirtless with khakis," snickered Kait, "I like the way you
"What am I doing here?" Oliver demanded. "I was in the middle of a
"I didn’t mean to take away your shirt," Cait said, sounding
but sincere. "I might have imagined it unconsciously."
Kait snorted with laughter. "Oh, is that what you’re calling it
"What am I doing here!?" said Oliver, putting his hands on his
He then realized he was still shirtless and made a dive for a
Ginny, who had a rather funny smile on her face, handed him a very
"Thanks, Ginny," said Oliver, glaring at the authors.
"You’re lucky she can’t speak," giggled Kait.
"And you cut that out," added Cait waving her pen at Ginny. "You’re
soul mate. Remember?"
Oh yeah. Harry. I like him. I could settle for Oliver though,
"Excuse me…I know I’m devastatingly handsome and all that…but could
explain exactly why I’m here?"
"Mmm," said Cait. "Drat. I wrote you in and now you’ve got to do
useful. Silly writing rules."
Oliver’s sweater vanished and the other Kait looked extremely
with herself. "That’s useful."
"You’re here to…umm tell Ginny that Harry deserves a great girl
her. Sort of…ummm be a fairy Godmother type." Cait began scribbling
her notebook. "Yeah. That’ll work."
"You’re the perfect match for Harry," Oliver said dully. "Can I go
I was in the middle of a great game."
But the authors were gone.
"Great!" howled Oliver, looking adorably putout. "I don’t know how
MEANWHILE, somewhere in Romania…
"Bill!" exclaimed Ariadne Rutherford, running up to the magic
Seeing as Bill lived in Egypt, she decided not to ask about it. The
and funny pants were really stretching it, though. And purple didn't
his hair color at all. Still, it was a good thing he was there. She
know how to handle Charlie when he got like this. "Thank goodness
"Where's Charlie?" Bill asked curiously, jumping gracefully off of
carpet. Ria watched it suspiciously. Even with no rider, it followed
around. The effect was rather creepy, especially considering the
on his shoulder. She definitely didn't trust the rug.
She sighed, exasperated. "Your brother is singing to his invisible
in the garden again."
Bill looked almost amused. "What, the real ones aren't enough?"
"Apparently not," Ria replied dryly. "Come on, I'll take you to
Sure enough, Charlie was right where she had left him- in the
under a shade tree, singing away. "Is it bad?" she asked, looking at
He shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't seen him like this before."
was quiet for a moment. "What's that he's singing?"
Ria rolled her eyes as they moved closer to better hear Charlie's
good tenor, passing under the nose of a large, sleeping dragon.
the same thing, over and over. 'Boo bop bopbop bop.'" The dragon
and, illogically, seemed as if it were raising an eyebrow at her. It
nothing. This was not unusual, as it was a dragon.
"… Bopbop bop, I love you, too," sang Charlie as they came into
Bill shot Ria a questioning glance, but she could only shrug.
"Charlie," she tried for what had to be the fifth time that day,
are you talking to?"
And Charlie replied just as he had the previous four times.
But you can't see him, he's invisible."
"I see," Ria said, deciding to humor him. She knew from experience
further questions would get her nowhere.
"No, you don't," Charlie insisted. "He's invisible. Aren't you,
Ria could have sworn she heard something go bop. Then again,
was probably just her imagination playing tricks on her like
seemed to be. Shaking her head, she decided that maybe Bill could
some sense into him and that she definitely couldn't handle the
of both of them at once. She left them in the garden and retreated
Ria glanced in the mirror, wanting to ensure that she didn’t leave
house looking like she had the last time she'd saved Charlie from a
Romanian Longhorn. However, when she did so, she noticed that while
in the mirror was rather familiar, it (thankfully) bore no
to her whatsoever. In the mirror was a woman with a very flat face
large, round bespectacled eyes. "Are you lost?" Ria asked her
"The butterfly convention's in Greece this year."
The mirror did not answer her directly, although it wasn't like Ria
expected it to. Instead, it merely blinked once slowly and said,
beware the big green dragon that sits on your doorstep."
Ria snorted. What was it with everyone and imaginary dragons
At least Charlie was the only one singing, she reflected. She didn't
that anyone with such a misty, weak voice as the bug-woman in her
could sing very well. Still, she glanced out the window out of
and was surprised to find that yes, there really was a large, green
with, yes, red hair, a true Weasley, sitting on the doorstep with
"How did you know?"
The mirror person blinked knowingly. "My Inner Eye," it said
Ria scoffed. "Your Inner Eye? You're two-dimensional!"
The mirror harumphed and vanished with a puff of smoke, leaving Ria
at her reflection. Well, really, she thought to herself. I
to take some security measures, that's what. Anyone could just pop
and peep at us while we're in the shower! She decided not to
that this implied she and Charlie were ever in the shower at the
time, which Hallie will tell you they weren't.
AN UNKNOWN CASTLE, SCOTLAND
(read: Mulder scene. Kait's attempts at humor: jabs at
lame X-Files plotlines, and men in general. Be forewarned.)
If Scully were here, Mulder thought absently, she would be really
Luckily, he'd lost Scully a few moments ago and didn't have to admit
he was completely lost. One minute they'd been tracking a
across Scotland. Somehow they'd ended up at the ruins of an old
on a hill. Ignoring the signs warning of danger, they'd gone inside
immediately gotten separated. It was like a rip in the time-space
Mulder assumed that he was inside the castle as it had been before
disaster had caused its collapse.
There was just one problem with this theory: the castle was
Well, maybe not the castle itself, Mulder reasoned, looking
sexy and feeling very out of place as he walked down the
halls in his standard-issue F.B.I. trench coat. It almost looked
a school- young people running about in very strange uniforms,
sticks and speaking in Latin as well as English. Also, he could have
the eyes on that photograph really were following him down
hall. He didn't like the lustful expression on her face, either.
was also the odd ghost drifting about, which didn't really surprise
Mulder decided that this had to be some sort of place of worship for
He was just about to reach for his cell phone and call Scully when
voice yelled from somewhere above him, "Excuse me, sir! Yes, you
the tastefully-cut Muggle clothes!"
Mulder turned around, looking for where the voice had come from.
young female occult members were staring at him now, giggling and
to each other.
"If you don't identify yourself, I shall have to take security
Sir, I'm up here."
Mulder tipped his head back, eyes searching the ceiling. By the
his eyes lit on the figure- another ghost?- a water-filled balloon
been lobbed at him. It exploded a few inches away, splashing the hem
his trousers. "Hello? I'm, ah, Agent Mulder. F.B.I.?" This had
become a question. Hopefully these people knew what the F.B.I.
"F.B.I.?" repeated what he now assumed (from the manipulation of
objects) was a very messed-up poltergeist. "Oh, you mean the
of Broom Inspectors. Well, that's no problem then, we'll just see if
Hooch has time to-"
"Do you need something?" a cool voice interrupted. The poltergeist
through the ceiling. Mulder lowered his gaze to meet this newcomer.
noticed peripherally that the students that had been watching the
Reaching for his badge, Mulder took in the sinister appearance of
other man- if that was what he was. He was roughly Mulder's height,
dark hair slicked back, a pronounced widow's peak, and disturbingly
skin. Hah! Thought Mulder. I knew Elvis wasn't dead.
decided to go for the innocuous. "I work for the F.B.I." He flashed
badge. "Just looking for my partner."
The other man regarded him coolly. "You did not, by any chance,
him at the broom shed?"
Broom shed? thought Mulder warily. "Her, actually. And no,
haven't been out to the broom shed just yet..." Fellowship of
Inspectors. I'll have to remember that one.
"Why are you dressed like that, anyway?" he appeared to be
what was, in some areas, very tasteful clothing. Something else
to Mulder and he made a mental note to find out what a 'Muggle'
"Been traveling," he replied evasively.
"Ah," the other man appeared to understand. Mulder thought he heard
mutter something under his breath about Americans and sports
He held out his hand. "Professor Severus Snape."
Although at first he looked at the hand as if it were about to bite
Mulder accepted it. "Special Agent Fox Mulder."
"What an unexpected pleasure. It's so kind of you to want to visit
in my loneliness."
Mulder snatched his hand back. He had met some genuine creeps in
life, but this guy was giving him the heebie-jeebies. "Right." He
wanted nothing more than to find Scully and get the heck out of...
they were. "Look, if you'll just help me find my partner-"
Snape interrupted impatiently, "Yes, yes. What does she look
Mulder held out his hand at just below shoulder height, "About so
redhead, short fuse, probably wants to kill me about now..." He
he heard the other man mutter something about a surplus of redheads,
ignored it, continuing, "Answers to Scully."
"Haven't seen her," Snape replied shortly.
"Okay," Mulder said. His patience was really starting to wear thin.
these days. You go off on a perfectly normal X-File and end up one
short in a Monty Python sketch. "You don't happen to have a
Snape fixed him with a cold stare. "We do not." He sighed
"You'd better come with me to the dungeons. I can't help you search
her, I've got a class, but with any luck I'll be rid of you before
even get there."
It occurred to Mulder that the last place he wanted to follow this
character was to the dungeons. "You know, you're just the type of
that gives perversion a bad name."
"How very flattering," Snape sneered. "This way."
The dungeons were many stairs away, Mulder found, and true to
they were underground. It was rather dark, and the floors were
with who-knew-what. It also reeked somewhat of decomposing
"I'll help you look for your wayward partner later. Right now, you
to stay out of my way. I have a class to teach."
So Mulder sat back in the shadows, trying very hard not to lean
the wall, and watched the scary wraith-man drill facts into his
heads. When he started going on about the Draught of Living Death,
finally couldn't restrain himself any longer.
"Who can tell me what ingredients one needs to brew the Draught of
Mulder jumped out from the shadows. "The Draught of Living Death,
have I heard that before..."
Snape glared at him from the front of the classroom. Mulder didn't
to notice that he had also captured the attention of a few select
"Would you kindly take your seat? You are interrupting a
Mulder quirked an eyebrow. "Yeah, because you're telling them
much about this particular potion. What kind of a teacher are you,
making your students do all the work?"
"I don't know how it works in America, Mr. Mulder, but here at
it is customary that the students do work!"
He crossed his arms. "You can talk to my government about the
state of the education system. And that's Agent Mulder to
"Oh, I beg your pardon. I certainly didn't mean to offend
Right. "And I didn't mean to interrupt your lesson. By all
Snape spitted him with a dark glare before continuing to quiz his
mercilessly. Well, maybe not quite mercilessly. Mulder
that he seemed to be giving one side of the class a much easier time
the others; he wondered if those were the slow learners. After
ten minutes of indoctrination, he again felt the need to
"Are you going to tell them that the 'Potions Master' who invented
was an American Hippie from the 1960s that had one too many magic
"Silence!" roared Snape, throwing both hands in the air in a very
gesture. "You will not make a mockery of this class!"
Mulder kept perfectly calm. "Hey, don't look at me, buddy. You’re
one who is a vampire."
Snape strode to the back of the classroom and began talking in a
"You're not supposed to know that!" he hissed. "That's highly
This time, Mulder allowed himself to laugh outright. "It's a highly
lie." He poked Snape in the chest. "The truth, my dear
is out there."
Snape looked at the same time threatened and angry. "Detention!" he
He added, quieter, "And see me after class."
This guy needs a vacation, Mulder thought amusedly. He sat
in the shadows and propped his feet up on an empty desk to wait.
He didn't have to wait long. A cauldron exploded near the front of
classroom. Something tells me this experiment isn't going to be
Beakman's World. Eventually the students cleared out and he was
alone in the room with the nutty professor.
"Who are you," said the professor coldly, adding some ingredients
a foul-looking potion, "How did you get here," it began to fizzle,
why are you still maintaining the pretense of being a Muggle?"
That word again, thought Mulder. "I already told you- my
is Fox Mulder and I work for the American F.B.I. I would appreciate
if you could tell me how I got here, and what the hell is a
The expression on Snape's face was quite priceless. "You mean you
A GINNY/FAIRY GODMOTHER INTERLUDE...
Harry was being really stupid again. Ginny fought the urge to
a good thing, as she didn't have a voice- and instead resumed her
pacing. She was down by the lake again, luckily alone this time,
to figure out how on earth she would get the message across to Harry
he kept insisting on ignoring clues like he did. She must have been
very loudly about how her mind needed a release from Harry, because
Oliver fell from the sky again.
Thanks, she thought to no one in particular, taking in his
"Oh, fine, just send me out here with no warning!" Oliver shouted,
head tilted backwards. "It's not like we were involved in a game or
Can't I at least have a shirt? It is cold in Scotland, you
Giving a frustrated sigh, he turned his attention to Ginny. "Oh, hi
You must be the reason they sent me here."
Lucky me, Ginny said. Hey, wait a second. I don't get it.
can I talk to you if I have no voice?
Oliver shrugged. "I'm not really sure. I'm no physicist, but I
that technically, you can't. Technically, I'm not even here.
technically doesn't count for much."
Okay, fairy godmother. I want answers. Not this
"Alright, alright. I suppose I'm reading your mind or something."
caught the alarmed expression on her face and continued, "No too
And- would you stop imagining me with wings and leotards? You'll
Ginny had to make a conscious effort not to drool.
Oliver, now with fairy wings and dressed in a one-piece lycra suit,
doing his best to look angry. "No! I thought you cast someone else
Peter Pan! You said I could be done with this onstage business!"
Ginny watched contently as Oliver proceeded to get very indignant.
get these fairy wings off me right now or I will get violent!"
Is that a promise?
"Aargh!" shouted Oliver in frustration.
The voice seemed to laugh at him. Ginny chose this moment to ask
very tactful question. Oliver.
"Yes?" he replied, slightly distracted.
Why weren't you wearing a shirt?
Oliver flushed slightly. "That's actually a very personal
Ginny crossed her arms and tapped her foot. This took a lot of
when faced with a lycra-clad Oliver.
"Which I have to answer because they're making me!" he shouted the
part skyward. Unhappily, he turned back to Ginny. "I wasn't wearing
shirt because technically, where they come from, I don't exist. But
believe I do, so I can stay there. And," he smiled slightly in spite
himself, "they don't believe in shirts."
Just pretend you’re Oberon. Ginny politely suggested, hoping
pacify poor, handsome, shirtless Oliver.
"Who?" Oliver stared at her blankly.
He was the king of the fairies.
"Great. Not only do I look like an insect, I am king of a
community of insects."
Perfectly on cue, a large golden crown came hurtling out of the sky
conked Oliver on the head.
Ginny winced as he clutched the side of his head and shook his fist
the sky. Uh oh. I don’t think the authors are pleased with you at
"I don’t rightly care!" Oliver howled. "They can throw all the
tea in China for all I care! I’m not doing this anymore! Mwhissi!!!"
Look out! Ginny covered her head with her hands and ran for
under a tree.
Oliver narrowly dodged another metal object that whizzed by faster
a Firebolt. When it landed in the grass, it gave a reverberating
Before he could examine the sceptre further, he luckily noticed yet
thing falling from the sky.
"CUT IT OUT! I’M SORRY!"
The large, flat, and rectangular thing suddenly stopped plummeting
at him and began floating gently like a feather. When it had landed
on the grass, (with a rather heavy thud) Oliver and Ginny examined
engravings on it. Ginny was admiring the finely drawn socks when
interrupted her thoughts.
"KoHG?" Oliver said thoughtfully. "What is that supposed to mean?
this a fairy king nameplate?"
If Ginny had had her voice, she would have laughed when lettering
under the KoHG. Someone was writing it very irritably, for they
Harry stepped into the dressing room, his team behind him. It
of most of the Gryffindor Quidditch team- that is, Fred and George
acting as Beaters, Ginny as Keeper, and he was Seeker- but he hadn't
met the Chasers. He looked around suspiciously. There were no
which wouldn't normally have been a problem, except that Ginny had
on the Quidditch team who would beat the Seeker to a bloody pulp if
so much as looked at her sideways, let alone when she was changing.
that he could change his robes without perfect vision, Harry removed
Just then, the door burst open. Harry squinted, not really
of the fact that his robes were only half-buttoned. In the doorway
three blurry shapes he assumed were the Chasers. The pink one said,
Are we in the right place?"
The green one said, "I think so, Fauna. Look, they've all got
and gloves! What do you suppose they're going to do with those?"
"They fly on them," said the pink, Fauna, proudly. "I saw the last
"Fly?" asked the green. "On those?" She tittered with laughter.
"Oh dear," said the third, looking dolefully at the other members
the team, now clothed in their uniforms. "This simply can't be
It just won't do. Red, black, and white? The color we should be, is
Is that a spell? Harry wondered. It reminded him of
he'd heard before… Sunshine, something, butter mellow… Something
a stupid, fat rat… He grinned maliciously. Fumbling for his
he soon found that his uniform had, in fact, changed colors. He
at Ginny and found that she was looking at him appreciatively. He
"Blue!" said Fauna, snatching Harry's attention again. "Don't be
We'll play in pink, of course."
He closed his eyes. He had no desire whatsoever to see himself in
"Um, excuse me," he said, feeling somewhat silly. "Er… don't you
we ought to be warming up rather than um… whatever it is we're
The woman (if she could be called that) dressed in green put a hand
Fauna's shoulder. "He's right, you know. We really ought to get used
our brooms before we play."
"You mean you've never played before?" asked Fred, horrified.
"It's for charity," Harry reminded him. "If we lose,
not going to get any bonus points." He wondered he could sound so
when he felt exactly the opposite. He had never played in front of
many people before. "Let's go."
The other team was already on the field warming up when Harry led
team onto the pitch. He felt his eyes widen. They were huge, even
than the Slytherins, or at least it seemed that way at first. He
that they were probably wearing a lot of padding under their
which were white, red, and black and had names written across the
Guess it's a good thing we changed our colors, after all. All
of the other team's broomsticks lie on the ground beside them. They
arranged in a semicircle with one, presumably the captain, in the
leading them in stretches. They were scarred, and all looked
bewildered. The scene was familiar somehow, but Harry couldn't quite
"Alright, everyone, listen up." The other six of his team gathered
He took in their somewhat wary appraising glances and winced. It was
to him to give them the confidence they needed. "They might be
than we are… and they might be stronger than we are… and they may
like they've seen more combat than Alastor Moody. But there's one
we've got that they haven't got!"
"Fear?" said Fred.
"Pink uniforms?" supplied his twin, poking himself in the nose. It
a strange honking sound.
Fred bounced, producing an identical noise. "Women?"
"No!" Harry practically shouted. "Speed! Look at the size of them!
fast can they be? We may not be able to outplay them physically, but
can outmaneuver them, certainly." He held his broomstick aloft.
for some airtime?" He winced as the three Chasers made as if to sit
on their brooms. "Let's go!"
They took off. Harry was surprised to see that the sprightly old
were in fact in perfect control of themselves, even if they did seem
be holding on to their brooms with their legs and achieving altitude
some other means. Harry flew a couple of loop-de-loops to let off
then heard a whistle being blown and headed down to the ground.
A voice from all around boomed, "Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to
five-hundredth annual Quidditch-a-Thon for Charity!" There was a
sense of halfhearted cheering. "This year's lucky recipient is the
of Magical Orphans! And now, all the way from the Great White North,
introduce the Men with Brooms! We've got, let's see…" Harry could
the man in the announcer's box shuffling through a stack of papers.
three Chasers, Fleury, Kariya, and Iginla!" The crowd went wild as
men flew onto the field. Someone shouted, "Marry me, Jerome!"
"The Beaters, Shanahan and Gagne!" More cheering as the two of them
a lap around the pitch. "Seeker Steve Yzerman!" The announcer,
to get more involved in what he was saying, called out, "And Captain
Keeper Marioooo Lemieux!"
Harry thought his ears might fall off if the crowd made much more
"And the opposition, a team put together by our very own Charity
please welcome the opposition, the Team Which Wins!" Harry winced at
name. "TWW Chasers are Flora, Fauna, aaaannd Merriweather!"
If Harry thought the applause for the previous team was loud, he
heard anything yet. The green, pink, and blue women waved jauntily
smiled at the crowd. "Hello, dears! Oh, you're a doll! How sweet!
"And on defense, the Beaters, the Terrible Twosome, Fred and George
Someone in the audience was throwing roses. Fred and George rose in
the air and took several deep bows. "Playing Keeper for the Team
Wins is Ginny Weasley, the youngest Quidditch-a-Thon player ever!"
in the cheeks as well as in the uniform, Ginny Weasley flew up to
among her brothers. As soon as she got there, however, her robes
switched from pink to blue. Harry blinked, wondering if he'd missed
"And finally, Captain and Seeker of the Team Which Wins… ladies and
it is an honor to present to you the youngest, possibly
Seeker since Charlie Weasley, as well as the Boy Who Lived… Harry
The applause was deafening. Harry felt his face burn as he joined
rest of his team in the air. The whistle blew again and both teams
back on the ground. "Adjudicating the match will be Canada's own
An evil-looking old man with a bushy white beard dressed in a very
Muggle suit appeared at center-pitch. The crowd jeered. Harry
Fauna say, "Isn't that the lovely boy that dated Cupid?"
Fred and George looked at each other with disgust. "He's
George wrinkled his nose. "We want someone impartial!"
Suddenly, a bolt of lightning shot through the clear blue sky. It
Don Cherry right on the head and fried him to a crisp. Then, out of
Well, Harry wasn't sure what it was at first, because it looked
a superheated bit of rock, or something. It landed on top of the
Don Cherry and began brushing itself off. Harry could now see that
was in fact Oliver Wood, dressed in form-fitting leather and with
protruding from his back. One of the fairies tittered with laughter.
like to try on his glass slipper!"
"Are you single as well as devilishly handsome?"
Oliver turned a very flattering shade of red. "To your brooms!" he
Harry faced Lemieux as best as he could- the older man was a good
inches taller than he was. "On your marks," Oliver called out. Harry
down the line at his team. Beside him, Ginny was looking absolutely
She stood directly across from the man who had been introduced as
and Harry was amused to notice that she was almost as tall as he
However, after his gaze fell on Oliver, he had a hard time focusing
Lemieux again. Oliver was looking very curiously at Ginny, and Harry
like it at all. He didn't much like the way Ginny was staring
at the referee, either. He didn’t have time to do anything about it,
because Oliver blew the whistle and they all rose into the air.
tossed up the Quaffle and released the other three balls.
The first thing Harry found that he had to do once he was in the
was get out of the way. The players from the other team were faster
he'd expected. They also didn't seem to have any qualms about
down players- one Beater, Shanahan, lobbed a Bludger at Ginny right
She dodged it just fine, as she was at the other end of the field,
Harry felt himself tense up. So they were going to play like that,
they? He was just about to give Fred and George instructions not to
Shanahan get anywhere near any of the players when something massive
him from the side and sent him reeling. When he got his glasses back
straight he saw the retreating backside of Simon Gagne and his
Merriweather had the Quaffle. She didn't look as if she knew what
do with it. Harry did notice that it seemed rather more blue around
than red, as it should have been. She tossed it disinterestedly to
who dropped it. It was picked up by Jerome Iginla, who passed it to
who passed it back to Iginla-
He threw it at the center hoop, but he didn't have a chance against
fireball that Harry had playing for him. She intercepted the Quaffle
any difficulty at all and passed it back to Fauna. The game was
"Hey watch it!" Harry shouted, as Yzerman, the other Seeker nearly
"Sorry, pal," said Yzerman. "Getting used to this thing. Okay, I'm
to get the Snitch before you do?"
"Yes," said Harry irritated. "You don't know that?"
"Small gold ball?"
"Okay." Yzerman saluted Harry briefly and then swerved directly
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Harry shouted, going into a dive to escape
"Checking!" shouted Yzerman. "You said I had to get the Snitch
"There's no checking in Quiddich!" Harry yelled back. "That's a
Yzerman struggled to pull his broom out of the dive. "Oh. Well,
is a worthless sport, isn't it? I don't even remember how I got
"It's not worthless!" growled Harry.
Harry’s team didn’t have much to do since the hockey players were
interested in getting a handle on their brooms, so after Flora,
and Merriweather scored two more goals, they turned their attention
"Hello," giggled Fauna smiling at George.
"Hi," said George distractedly watching the other Beaters smacking
each other trying to avoid the Bludgers he and Fred had been pelting
"Shouldn’t you lovely ladies be scoring points?" Fred suggested.
Merriweather glanced down at the other Chasers fumbling around with
"But we did. We don’t want to make the poor boys too depressed, now
Flora nodded. "You two are doing a splendid job."
"We know," said George smarmily. "We’re very splendid players."
"And very handsome," Fauna added. "What part of the magical world
you from again?"
"Never Never Land," Fred said sarcastically. "Look, you ladies are
and all, but my brother and I prefer to stay in our species. Do you
what a Weasley with wings would look like?"
The three fairies exchanged glances and tittered with laughter.
threw the Quaffle at them, but they disregarded it entirely,
interestedly as Jarome Iginla sped through their midst.
"I don't think they're getting the message," George said ruefully,
a Bludger in Iginla's direction. "This calls for desperate
"I don't think Harry would appreciate it if we lobbed the Bludgers
our own team," Fred replied moodily.
"How about a nice little limerick for them?" George said raising
"What did you have in mind?" Fred grinned as George quickly recited
"I do believe you perfected the sky-writing last summer, care to do
honors?" asked George.
Fred tapped his wand on the tail of his broom and muttered a spell.
I’d love to!"
In blue smoke coming from the tail of his broom, Fred artistically
Ode To the Chasers
In shades of blue, pink, and
Three ladies looked into their
One said to the
"Let's get those two
They sure are fine pieces
"FRED!" shouted Oliver. "What do you think you are doing!?"
The crowd was roaring with laughter and all three of the Fairy
had their hands covering their mouths in horror.
"WELL!" huffed Merriweather. "I’ll never!"
"The nerve!" chimed in Flora
"Hooligans!" added Fauna.
"Oh, get over yourselves," said Fred contemptuously. He took a
at a Bludger and was rewarded with Mario Lemieux wobbling
on his broomstick. Unfortunately, as the Quaffle was with Paul
at the other end of the pitch and the three Chasers were still
at him in indignation, this did nothing to aid their score.
Suddenly- "Oof!" Fred whirled around just in time to see Simon
speeding away from Harry. Harry looked pale- he was wobbling
Fred could see that the Seeker was clutching at his side with both
Even as he watched, Harry was toppling from his broom and plummeting
towards the earth.
Steve Yzerman saw it, too. He must have thought that Harry was
for the Snitch, because he pointed his broom towards the ground, as
Now that he and the other hockey players had a better grasp of their
Fred almost worried that he had seen the Snitch- and it soon
apparent that he had. The entire crowd was on its feet, cheering
Before he was even halfway to the ground, Harry yelped, "Ouch!" and
up to his face just as Fauna and Merriweather, having abandoned
brooms, grabbed hold of his sneakers. He held his hand up- or rather
The sunlight reflected off of a small, winged golden ball.
The team landed roughly, Flora with Harry's Firebolt in her left
Harry, standing up to let the blood flow away from his face, turned
smiled. "Good call, Oliver," he said with a grin. "Nice uniform, by
Oliver shrugged. It was a very odd shrug. He almost seemed to be
to someone behind Harry.
Harry turned around to see who was there. Oh, he thought. It
only Ginny. "Uh," he said, feeling like he should be saying
"That was, um…" He panicked. "Good flying," he finished lamely.
She smiled slightly and turned very red before suddenly and
flinging her arms around him.
Crap, thought Harry. Now what do I do? He was spared
to answer his own question, however- Fred and George, with identical
noises, hoisted him on their shoulders, thus breaking his contact
Ginny. He was both grateful and annoyed, but he understood- they
her brothers. They didn't want him anywhere near her if there was
to be physical contact involved.
He didn't know exactly why, but this saddened him.
"Scully, where are you going?" He had just found her again, and
she was pissed off at him. Story of my life, Mulder thought
She turned sharply around as he caught at her wrist. "Mulder, what
we doing here?"
A fine time to ponder the meaning of life, Mulder thought dryly. "I
hoping you could tell me. But what I really want to know is… where
She shook off his arm. "I'm finding a way out of here. My
phone won't even work, Mulder! We're in some kind of alternate
or something!" Scully paused, probably realizing that she sounded
as spooky as everyone always said Mulder was. "You can either come
me, or stay here and chase shadows!"
"Scully, I-" Well, damn. Now he was caught between actually
up a case for once and his loyalty to his partner. He was tempted to
for a little more time- a day, a week, a few hours, whatever she
give him, but Scully didn't even let him finish the thought.
"So are you coming with me? Or not?"
Mulder sighed, knowing he didn't have the willpower to do
and followed her out the door into the bright sunshine.
Immediately he felt better. There was something about the castle
didn’t sit right with him. He had a sudden epiphany that it wasn't
magic, or the potions, or the ghosts- it was the fact that it was
than the basement FBI office that was home to the X-Files.
Scully pointed behind him.
There was nothing there except for the dusty old ruins that they
investigated in the first place. Directly above his head was the
that warned of danger. "Well, I'll be damned. This has been the
She gave him a skeptical look. "Not even close."
"Yeah?" Mulder challenged. "Well, it's about to get a lot
And without further warning, he leaned over and kissed her on the
There was the vague sensation of being torn apart and reassembled
slowly. Then he opened his eyes. "Whoa, Scully," Mulder said,
around him. "We're not in Kansas anymore." All that he could see in
direction was rows upon rows of wheat. The sun was just peeking up
the horizon. "Where are we?"
His partner held a hand to her brow, gazing off into the distance.
She turned her head up at the perfect, clear blue sky. "The best I
do is an educated guess."
"Give it to me straight, Doc."
Scully kicked at the dirt. "We're in Kansas."
Mulder looked at her incredulously. "You're kidding."
"Oh. Only one thing to do, then." His mind still reeling a bit,
worse judgement got the better of him. He leaned over to kiss his
again. He was just getting rather involved when he heard a most
and unwelcome sound. Reluctantly, he pulled away. "Phone?"
"You know, ring ring?" She looked down at the small black device
"Yes," said Mulder. "Off switch. You know… click?"
Scully nodded and shut the wretched thing off. They were just
back to business when…
Mulder swore, took out his cell phone, saw the producer's number on
display, and answered the call, "DAMN YOU, CHRIS CARTER!" He then
the phone from the battery and flung it as far as he could.
His partner was watching him with a bemused expression. "Whatever
to the off button?"
"I don't have an off button," he informed her seriously. The two
down to do some more serious snogging without the interference of
"Could you go sha-la-la-la-la somewhere else?!" Harry finally
He slammed his Transfiguration book shut and whirled around to face
entourage of people and animals that had suddenly decided to follow
around. Everywhere. Harry didn't understand it. Was this part of a
culture he didn't know about? Was he supposed to give them candy and
Four ladies with tiaras and sceptres, two owls, and Neville’s toad,
stared at him, completely silent. Harry now felt extremely
Maybe it was a religious group and he had offended them.
"Sorry," Harry blushed. "I um. Well, I might have some candy." Not
what else to do, he pounced on his trunk and started rummaging
Harry turned a darker red when a pair of his tartan boxers fell out
One of the tiara women squeaked and pointed, her mouth agape.
Oh no, Harry thought. Now I’ve really offended them. "I think…I’m
of Every Flavour Beans. I’m really sorry…my pal Ron must have taken
Can I give you a few sickles for the singing? It wasn’t bad…."
More silence and staring. Harry thought he heard crickets, but he
probably just imagining it in his humiliation.
"Er," said Harry intelligently. He shyly turned away from them and
up his Transfiguration book again.
"SHA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA MY OH MY—."
Harry swung around and the singing ceased instantly. After another
seconds of awkward staring, Harry briefly considered making a break
it and running straight for Dumbledore’s office.
In fact…that sounded more and more like a fantastic idea the longer
stared at these people…and animals…singing animals to be exact.
Harry raced down a corridor, still in hot pursuit by his musically
fan club. Why? Why didn’t anyone ELSE have these problems? He had a
test to study for and he doubted Professor McGonagall would le—
Harry had rounded the corner and screeched to a halt. And what he
before him made him feel…
Ginny Weasley was standing with Draco Malfoy in the
Pretty Ginny Weasley…WAS STARING at Draco Malfoy, who was on bended
Harry found the collective gasp from his entourage entirely
They could certainly stay if they felt that way about this also.
Ginny backed against the wall, trying to find the most appropriate
to kick Draco Malfoy, while he yammered on about loving her. Of all
times not to have her voice… She had quite a few words to say to him
now. Almost every one the words would land her in detention.
"Hey!" shouted someone loudly. "STOP!"
Ginny’s head snapped up. Thank you! She could finally
Then Ginny bothered to notice that the person who had shouted was
other than Harry himself, striding over to her. Wow. Really,
"Ginny!" Harry was still trying to survey the scene and his green
were enormous. "Why?!"
Ginny opened her mouth to protest and was still trying to regain
hand back from Draco. Of course she couldn’t defend herself. It was
bad Myrtle was dead already, because Ginny was ready to kill her.
"Hey, let her go!" Harry shouted, approaching Draco.
"Back off, Potter!" Draco growled. "You’re too late!"
"I said let her go!" Harry pulled out his wand and pointed it at
Draco laughed. "Did you actually think she could ever love someone
you when she could have someone like me?"
Harry’s entourage unexpectedly started to boo. Yeah,
Harry agreed with them inwardly. These people weren’t so bad after
"If you don’t get away from her, I’m going to hex you so badly it’s
to take three surgeons and an iron six months to straighten you out
Harry was pleased to hear the smattering of clapping behind him.
he possibly be paying these people by the hour?
Draco stood up and pulled out his wand. "She’s mine. I told you to
His? Harry wished Ron was here to hear this….
"She’s not yours," Harry snarled. "She doesn’t even like you!"
"More mine than yours," smirked Draco.
"Why don’t we let Ginny de—."
Before Harry could even finish his sentence, a very small red-head
stepped between him and Draco and punched Draco directly in the
Draco staggered backwards, clutching his nose. Ginny swung around
face Harry, the expression on her face absolutely livid. Harry
away, thinking she was about to knock the daylights out of him also.
Ginny merely threw her hands towards Draco and gave Harry a very
"GET HIM!" look.
Harry understood. (A/N: For once.) Amidst cheers from his entourage
tossed his wand aside and punched Draco. Harry decided that this was
certainly not enough retribution everything Draco had done to him
the years, grabbed the front of his robes, and punched him again.
Draco had been thoroughly beaten to a pulp, Harry stood up and
off his robes. "Are you okay, Gin?" he asked concernedly.
Ginny nodded vigorously.
Harry looked quite embarrassed. "I don’t think you should really
involved with Malfoy. I mean… it just doesn’t seem right."
He looked at his shoes and added a muttered, "If you don’t mind me
Ginny smiled broadly and nodded her head again.
"…I just want you to be happy," Harry added. "You are my friend
all…and you and Malfoy. I-um. Are you going to say something?"
Ginny sighed and shook her head no. She would love to say
The entourage seemed to be singing that Sha-la-la-la song again.
was with that?" Harry wondered.
Harry looked disappointed. "Oh, okay. See you at practice then?" He
Harry jumped when his entourage groaned loudly and slapped their
They all looked very put out with him.
Then it clicked.
Harry turned around to face Ginny and grabbed her hands. "You
talk, can you?" He looked at her searchingly. "That’s it, isn’t
"YES!" Ginny mouthed. She clutched Harry’s hands and nodded.
"Then," Harry said slowly his eyes widening, "then… that’s why
has been acting so oddly! Is it an enchantment?!"
Ginny threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. Finally!
"Oh, you have no idea how much this clears up," Harry laughed as he
her back. He pulled away. "But how do I fix it? Are we the only ones
Ginny felt a blush rise to her cheeks. She could tell him how to
it, if he would just….
Harry paced. "Everyone keeps talking about… fairy tale stuff. How
they fix things in fairy tales? There’s no dragon to slay… Hagrid
Charlie’d kill me anyway… There’s no Princess that needs to be sa—."
Harry looked up sharply at Ginny. More realization.
"Gin," he said taking her hand again. "We’re really good friends,
Ginny was horribly tired of nodding, but this was important.
"But, do you ever sort of wish it could be a little more than
Harry asked, his eyes looked hopefully in hers.
Ginny squeezed Harry’s hand.
"Me too," Harry whispered as he leaned over to kiss her.
"HARRY!" screamed a voice, just before they were about to kiss.
Oliver Wood careened around the corner and tripped. Papers flew
and Oliver groaned on the stone floor as he picked himself up.
"She can’t talk!" Oliver shouted at Harry. He shook papers at him.
have proof! The authors gave me the beginning part of the story as
You have to- oh."
Oliver studied Harry and Ginny holding hands, very close to each
staring at him rather annoyed.
"Yes, I know, Oliver," said Harry.
Oliver sank to the floor again, still panting. "Well, all that
for nothing! At least they didn’t drop me from the ceiling this
Harry’s entourage rounded on Oliver. "SHHHH!" they said.
"Oh. Right," said Oliver. "Carry on, you two."
Harry leaned over and gently brushed his lips over Ginny’s. There
a loud crack and they were engulfed in purple smoke.
Harry and Ginny both started coughing.
"You figured it out!" Ginny exclaimed, waving the smoke away.
"Yeah," Harry grinned. "I wish I had figured it out a lot sooner!"
The smoke cleared and Oliver and the entourage were clapping and
"They’re still here?" Harry asked. "But, I thought…."
Two birds flew through the window and dropped two crowns made out
flowers on Ginny and Harry’s heads.
Ginny laughed at the sight of a wreath of flowers on Harry’s head.
Finite Incantatem," she said sweetly.
Moaning Myrtle glumly made another loop of the girl’s loo.
"Nine-hundred and ninety nine," she sighed and made another loop.
thousand. Typical that’d finish so quickly. Now what am I supposed
do for the rest of the day?"
She was very sour that things had turned back to normal around the
She didn’t even win the contest that she had made with that
Mortals always got what they wanted.
Myrtle stopped pouting. She thought she heard voices….
"Come on, Harry. She won’t bite. It was part of your idea anyway…"
"I know, but she’s creepy. I don’t like being around her, she
Myrtle listened curiously. Who could they be talking about? Whoever
was sounded highly unpleasant.
"But she won’t this time. Please?"
There was a pause.
"You had to make that face. Fine. I’ll go."
The door to the loo creaked open. Two students walked in, holding
Oh. It was them.
Myrtle felt very annoyed. What could they possibly want?
"Hi, Myrtle," said Ginny brightly.
"What do you want?" Myrtle sniffed. "I’m mad at you."
Harry gave Ginny a meaningful ‘I told you so’ look.
We’ve come to visit you," Ginny smiled. "And we brought you
"Brought me something?" Myrtle’s eyes narrowed. "Don’t taunt me.
rude. I’m only a ghost, but that doesn’t give you any—."
Ginny held up an object wrapped in shiny silver paper. "I willingly
this to Myrtle, ghost of the Hogwarts Girl’s Loo."
Myrtle gasped. "For me?" she squeaked. "A present?"
Harry and Ginny nodded. "Go on," said Ginny. "Take it."
Myrtle tentatively reached for the object and found that she could
it. She quickly grasped it with both hands and took it. There was a
flash and the present became as transparent as she was.
"Don’t rip the paper," Harry advised. "You might have it for
Ginny nudged him sharply in the ribs and he laughed quietly.
Myrtle was too preoccupied with trying to work the shiny paper off
to take notice of Harry’s comment. When she had finally taken it
she had uncovered a frame with—
"The picture!" Myrtle exclaimed happily. "But it was yours…you won
Ginny shrugged. "I wanted to give it to you. Sort of to say
Myrtle hugged the framed picture happily but then looked at Ginny
Ginny blushed and bit her lower lip. "Well… I have the real thing
It was sort of your doing that Harry and I are together now…."
Myrtle looked at her approvingly. "That’s fair."
"Thanks," Ginny smiled again and looked over at Harry. "Harry’s got
for you too."
"You’re the only other one who remembers anything," said Harry.
the enchantment, I mean. Everyone else just went back to normal and
noticed that they had been acting oddly."
Myrtle shrugged. "Well, I’m a bit more clever than everyone else."
"Uh huh," Harry said dryly. "That’s probably it." He refrained from
"You have a present?" Myrtle persisted.
"Yeah," said Harry. Ginny handed him two small packages and he
held them out to her.
"You have to say that you give them to me," Myrtle said
"Right," said Harry making a face. "I willingly give these to
Myrtle tore into the packages. "A sketchbook and drawing pencils!"
"Harry and I had been talking about what happened, and he suggested
we give them to you so that you could draw your own pictures too,"
"That was nice," Myrtle said looking at Harry.
"Sure," muttered Harry. "I think we’ll be going now…."
"Going?" Myrtle said her eyes filling with tears. "But you said
come to visit! I never get visitors!"
"Um," said Ginny backing towards the door with Harry. "See you
"That’s rude!" Myrtle shouted at the closing door. "Both of you are
Myrtle sighed grumpily and looked down at her new things.
Well. Maybe not that thoughtless.
UNDISCLOSED POOLSIDE IN TEXAS
"The end!" said Caitlyn, happily writing the words with her quill.
shut the book and sat back happily in her chair.
"We do write good endings, don’t we?" said Kaitlynn yawning and
the book. "Nice cover you chose, by the way."
"Thanks," said Cait taking a sip of her drink. "Gracious, we had to
it into a book after Oliver threw all those papers in the corridor.
was a mess!"
"Speaking of Oliver, where’d he go?" Kait asked, picking up her
from the table and settling herself by the pool to sunbathe.
"Dunno," Cait frowned. "He’s being quite slow."
"Oy!" Kait shouted. "CABANA BOY! Hurry it up! We need some
"Oh, don’t shout, Kaitie. He’s very fond of us now. We wouldn’t
to hurt his feelings!"
Kait smiled slyly and looked at Cait over her sunglasses. "I’m not
to hurt his feelings. He likes me being saucy."
Caitlyn quickly swallowed the Manhattan she had been drinking before
laughed at Kaitlynn. "Point taken."
"Who called for brie?" Oliver said coming out of the house.
was dressed only in a pair of red Hawaiian shorts with white
on them and flip-flops. He was balancing a silver tray on his hand
well for someone who usually only played Quidditch.
"Kaitie did," said Caitie pointing to Kait.
"Of course," said Oliver setting down a plate of brie and
in front of Kait. "And another drink for you, Caitie. With the
Caitie clapped. "He remembered!"
"Yes, it’s pink also," said Oliver proudly. "In half a mango. I
know why you two insist on having your drinks served in glasses made
"Thank you, Oliver," they said smiling at him.
"We finished the story," Kaitlynn announced, raising her pineapple
to toast Caitlyn.
"Really?" said Oliver, glancing at the familiar red book between
chairs. "How’d I turn out in it?"
"Quite well," said Cait. "Happy ending and everything."
"Almost as good as the real thing," added Kait with a laugh.
Oliver smiled almost a little smugly. "Yes, I was a favorite
"Yup," Cait yawned. "But where’s the sunblock? I don’t want to get
"Excellent idea!" Kait crowed. "Oliver, find the sunblock!"
After Oliver scampered off to find the sunblock, Caitlyn sat up and
"Wha?" said Kait opening one eye.
"We forgot something."
"No we didn’t," Kaitlynn laughed. "You’re just paranoid! Harry and
"Then where did you leave Remus and Sirius?" Cait asked quickly.
wasn’t my scene."
Kaitlynn bolted up and stared at her. "Oh-oh."
Just then, the red book burst into flames.
The girls shrieked and leapt from their chairs.
"Throw it in the pool!" Kait shouted. "We’ve still got a sequel and
got to refer back to it!"
"Eek!" squeaked Cait throwing a towel over the book and kicking it
The book hissed and steamed and floated placidly down to the bottom
"Harumph," said Kait. "I thought we put firemen in for a reason."
"Too hot for them to handle?" Cait suggested.
Kait giggled. "Sounds good to me."
"And here comes Oliver," Caitlyn said happily settling back into
"Cheers, Cait," said Kaitlynn raising her pineapple glass with a