Many thanks to my beta reader Yolanda. Kudos for the ladies of Flights of Fancy for the encouragement. Regarding the use of JK Rowling's characters, standard disclaimers apply.

As with all my pieces, the tune is also original. Alas, I know nothing about writing down music. If I knew how to write it down, I'd share it.

I Just Can't Understand
A Duet for Gryffindors
from Hogwarts, A Musical

Ron:

She always knows the answers

She passes every test

When marks are handed out each June

She's always got the best.

She helps us with our homework

And I really think that's grand...
            But her obsession with the library
            I just can't understand.

Hermione:

He always wins our chess games
He stays ten steps ahead
When we’re in dire danger
He puts aside his dread
He swallows fear and follows through
And I really think that's grand. . .
            But his obsession over Quidditch
            I just can't understand.

Ron:
Does she think that every answer
Can be found inside a book?
When life is there for living
She won't lift her head and look!
She thinks people, just like textbooks,
Should give answers on demand.
            And her obsession with the library
            I just can't understand.

Hermione:

Does he think that life's a chess game
Where the rules are always clear?
When people teach him something
He forgets from year to year!
He thinks people, just like chessman,
Should have all their moves pre-planned.
            And his obsession over Quidditch
            I just can't understand.

Ron:

She's saved our necks a hundred times
I haven't done it twice
When Harry needs some answers
She's got them in a trice.
She's pretty and she's loyal
And too smart to withstand. . .
            But her obsession with the library
            I just can't understand.

Hermione:

He's made us laugh a hundred times
I haven't done it twice
When Harry needs some strategy
He's got one in a trice.
He's brilliant and he's loyal
And his heart is there at hand. . .
            But his obsession over Quidditch
            I just can't understand.

Ron:

She's brilliant, she's courageous
And she knows all the facts
And I really shouldn't tease her
When I know how she reacts.
While she's busy being brilliant
I just sit there, being bland. . .
            So, why she wouldn't want me?
            Well, that I understand.

Hermione:

He's patient, he's courageous,
And he cares too much to tell
And I really shouldn't nag him
When he blurts out, "Bloody hell!"
While he's being so supportive
I just nag and reprimand. . .
            So, why he wouldn't want me?
            Well, that I understand.

Harry (spoken to Ginny):
This is going to take a long time, isn't it?

Ginny (spoken to Harry):
Damn straight.