The Sugar Quill
Author: Deborah Peters  Story: Because I'm Famous  Chapter: Default
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Because I'm Famous

Because I’m Famous

Deborah Peters

            Felix Balfour held a green Every Flavor Bean close to his face, carefully scrutinising it, trying to remember if this particular shade of green was green apple or spinach.  He considered the bean a while longer, then shrugged and popped it into his mouth.  He chewed it once and made a face.  Broccoli.

            The door of the office started to open.  Felix hastily swallowed the bean and stashed the box of Bertie Bott’s in a drawer in his desk, which, thanks to regular practice, he was able to do before the door opened.  He flipped through the large appointment book on his desk and recited, by habit, “Good afternoon, welcome to the Apparition Test Centre, may I have your name, please?”

            There was a slight pause, and then a tired voice said, “Harry Potter.”

            Felix’s head snapped up.  Standing in front of the desk, with messy black hair and a haggard appearance, was none other than the Boy Who Lived.  Felix swallowed hard.  “Er… do you have an appointment, Mr Potter?”

            Potter shook his head.

            “We usually don’t take walk-ins, I’m afraid, Mr Potter, but we can probably make an exception for you,” Felix stammered.

            Potter leveled him an even stare.  “I’m not asking for an exception because I’m famous.  If I could have my whereabouts known in advance, I’d be making appointments left and right.  It’s just I have this Dark wizard after me is all.”

            Felix blushed.  “Of course, Mr Potter, we all know of your efforts against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, of course.  If you’ll wait here, a tester will be free in about ten minutes.”

            Potter nodded.  “Thank you.”  Wearily, he walked over to the row of chairs and sat down.

            Felix got out a piece of parchment and wrote “Harry Potter here for Apparition test!”  Stealing only a couple of glances at the exhausted young man, Felix deftly folded the parchment into a paper airplane, tapped it with his wand, and watched it flap its way out of the room.

            Potter still sat silently on his chair.  Felix, feeling uncommonly embarrassed, cleared his throat and said, hesitantly, “Mr Potter?  I’m afraid you’ll have to fill out these forms.”  He paused, attempting to appraise Potter’s expression, then added, “I’m sorry, I really am, but I can’t completely ignore procedure.  If there are any questions you feel might be dangerous for you to answer, feel free to leave them blank.  I just need it on file that you filled one of these out—“

            Potter cut him off by raising his wand.  Felix flinched, but Potter just said, “Accio forms!”  The paperwork flew across the room into Potter’s hand, and for the next few minutes, all was silent except for the sound of Potter’s quill scratching on the parchment.

            Felix was at a loss for what to do.  He drilled his fingers on the edge of his desk, but even that small noise seemed obtrusive in the quiet room.  Felix, fighting a rather furious blush, cleared his throat and said, “So, Mr Potter, have you… read any good books lately?”

            Potter lifted his eyes from the forms and fixed Felix with a hard look that caused the secretary to cough rather forcedly into his hand and say, “Er, right then.  Carry on.”

            The paper airplane Felix had sent into the other room came zooming suddenly back.  He opened it and read, “If you’re lying, I’ll never forgive you.  Send him back!”

            Felix cleared his throat.  “Mr Potter, the testers are ready for you now.  If you’re not finished with those forms, you can fill them out later, while you’re waiting for your license to be made.”

            Potter stood, tucking the paperwork in his pocket, and let Felix guide him through the door to the testing rooms.

*          *          *

            “The photograph has finished developing, Mr Potter.  Your license is ready.”

            Potter stood from where he had been sitting once more in the waiting room.  He crossed the room to Felix’s desk, where the other man was offering a small card.  In addition to the necessary information like date of birth and citizenship, the license contained a black and white moving photograph of a very cautious and wary-looking Harry J. Potter.

            Potter took the license and tucked it in his pocket.  “Thank you.”

            Felix smiled nervously.  “Congratulations, Mr Potter.  Madam Margaret tells me you did quite well.”

            Potter nodded.  “Thank you,” he said again, and turned to leave.

            Felix cleared his throat.  “Mr Potter, the paperwork, if you don’t mind?”

            Potter reached into his pocket, pulled out the forms, and handed them to Felix.  Without a word, he Apparated out of the office.

            Felix dipped his quill in the inkwell and opened the papers, prepared to make an entry in the record-book.  What he saw on the form, however, made his eyes snap open.  After a moment of shocked silence, the young secretary giggled once, twice, then uncontrollably.  Delighted, he stood, grabbed the form, and ran through the door to show his good friend Margaret what had been written.

Name:  Fred Weasley

Age:  Old enough to have already taken this bloody test

Current Occupation:  Shop Owner and Undercover Agent for a Certain Organisation

Address:  Isn’t that the point of being an undercover agent?

Comments:  Thanks for being a sport, Felix, love.  We had to get Harry his license somehow, didn’t we?  Try and keep this under your shirt, if you could.  Don’t ever try this Polyjuice stuff, by the way.  Tastes like manure.

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