The Sugar Quill
Author: Barbara the Wallpaper-er (Professors' Bookshelf)  Story: Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes  Chapter: Default
The distribution of this story is for personal use only. Any other form of distribution is prohibited without the consent of the author.

Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes

Many thanks to my beta reader Yolanda. Kudos for the ladies of Flights of Fancy for the encouragement. Warmest apologies for my ever-wandering vocal key to that master of transcription: CornedBee. (Bless you, bless you.)

 

Regarding the use of JK Rowling's characters, standard disclaimers apply.

 

Dedicated to ivy & Gracie who never asked for it, but got me thinking about the twins… just by being there.

 

As with all my pieces, the tune is also original. Author's notes continue at bottom.

 

Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes
Gred and Forge Take a Stand
from Hogwarts, A Musical

 

(sung)

Fred:                     The time has come

George:                The time is now

Fred:                     To draw the line

George:                To cross the line

 

 

(spoken)

Fred:                     Dear old Mum --

George:                -- is going to have our heads.

Both:                     Oh, well!

 

 

(sung)

Both:                     Harry was right and it’s our turn to fight!

 

Both:                     Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes

                              It's time to put them to the test

George:                What do you reckon?

Fred:                     Let's bring them all out

Both:                     We'll show her what Dumbledore's Army's about!

 

Both:                     Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes

                              There's no reason to be well-behaved

Fred:                     The old hag's a sadist

George:                That quill is no good

Both:                     The teachers won't stop her and somebody should!

 

Both:                     Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes

                              We've put on the ultimate show

Fred:                     The Slytherin squad

George:                Trapped us in the Hall

Both:                     It's finally over -- but we've had a ball!

 

Umbridge:             The time has come

Filch:                     The time is now

Umbridge:             To learn the price

Filch:                     To pay the price …

 

(spoken)

Fred:                     You know –

George:                -- we don't think so.

Both:                     Accio, brooms!

 

 

(sung)
Both:                     Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes

                              Come visit our new premises

Fred:                     We're running a sale

George:                This year’s been a farce

Both:                     So kick this old bloodsucker out on her --

 

 

(screamed)

Umbridge:             Stop them!

 

 

(sung)
Student Chorus:   Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes

Ravenclaws:         It's time to put them to the test

Hufflepuffs:          What do you reckon?

Gryffindors:          Let's bring them all out

Student Chorus:   We'll show her what Dumbledore's Army's about!

 

 

(spoken)

Fred:                     Give her hell from us, Peeves.

 

 

(sung)
Student Chorus:   Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes

Ravenclaws:         Let's try everything that we've bought

Hufflepuffs:          Let everyone know

Gryffindors:          Th' old bat's out of luck

Student Chorus:   We'll show her what happens when we run amok!

 

Student Chorus:   Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes

Ravenclaws:         It's time to put them to the test

Hufflepuffs:          What do you reckon?

Gryffindors:          Let's bring them all out

Student Chorus:   We'll show her what Dumbledore's Army's about!

                              Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes!

 

(spoken)

Student:                I’m sorry, Professor. I’m suffering from Umbridgitis.

 

*****************************************************

NOTES

For the musicians out there:

Harry is a tenor, Hermione a contralto, Ron a baritone.

Filch is a bass.

Gred and Forge are baritones.

Umbridge is a counter-tenor.

//
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