The Sugar Quill
Author: Starsea (Professors' Bookshelf)  Story: Azkaban Prison  Chapter: Default
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Azkaban Prison (to the tune of “Sunset Boulevard”)

Azkaban Prison (to the tune of “Sunset Boulevard”)


Scene: Sirius stands in a white spotlight, hands clenched. Other prisoners lurk in the shadows, watching him. He lifts his head.



Sure, I was crazy when I came,

I was innocent, I’d been framed,

Yes, I was one of the Potters’ mourners!

And after all these years – the same old hell,

That dirty bed, that rancid smell,

Dementors lurking in the corners!!



Azkaban Prison, maze-like prison,



Secretive, so dark, and more than scary!



Azkaban Prison – nightmare prison,



Waiting here to swallow the unwary!


(Some prisoners step forward: the Lestranges are among them)



Dreams were not enough to win that war,



And we were always keeping score,

The Ministry had no idea!


SIRUS (glaring at them):

That, beneath the smiles, the cost was great,

A generation lost to hate, our whole world

Plunged in mindless fear!



Azkaban Prison – headline prison!



Getting here was only the beginning!



Azkaban Prison – lifetime prison!



Once you’re here, you have to go on living!


(begins to pace, his voice growing bitter)

They thought I’d sold out – Peter had sold out!

He’s still alive – and he’s enjoying

Comfortable quarters, regular rations,

24 hour, 5 star room service!



Oh but dear cousin, it was all your fault,

You were the one who told them to change it!

Now you’re in prison –



Clinging on grimly to my sanity!

(tossed over his shoulder to Bellatrix)

Well, I’m a Black!


(Bellatrix sneers and steps back into the shadows)



Our world’s hardly changed over the years

Since those great wizard pioneers

Founded their famous school of magic.

Seemed a great idea – but not for long,

Eventually it all went wrong,

No unity, it’s all so tragic!



Azkaban Prison, lifeless prison,



Devoid of any positive emotion



Azkaban Prison, brutal prison,



Hell on earth, surrounded by an ocean!


They placed my cousin next to me – what a joke!


It’s not like we have the slightest thing in common!


SIRIUS (softer):

But now I can escape, cause they don’t know

That I’m a dog – he’s gotta go!

I won’t let him hurt my godson…



Azkaban Prison, ruthless prison,



Destination for the stony-hearted;



Azkaban Prison, lethal prison!



I have not forgotten how this started!

Farewell to Azkaban!


(He transforms into a dog and disappears into the shadows)

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