Many thanks to my beta reader Yolanda, Queen of Grooviness, for her assistance and recommendations; to the ladies of Flights of Fancy for the encouragement; and to the ever-patient CornedBee for providing musical transcription as he gets to it.

 

Regarding the use of JK Rowling's characters, standard disclaimers apply.

 

As with all my pieces, the tune is also original. For the musically minded, Harry is a tenor.

 

Nothing
or, Being Kept in the Dark
from Hogwarts, A Musical

 

At Privet Drive:

I’m hiding in the garden

To listen to the news.

The Dursleys like their ignorance

But that’s not what I choose.

I want to know what’s going on

What will come my way

But bloody Muggle newsmen have

No bloody news today.

 

Chorus:     They’ve got nothing!

Nothing!

Nothing new at all.

There’s nothing

But waiting

For the other shoe to fall.

There’s nothing

Nothing

I’m so tired of just nothing

Nothing

Not a bit of news at all.

 

I’m taking out the garbage

To read up on the news.

I nick the papers from the bins

I’ve got no pride to lose.

I want to know what’s going on

Where to leave my mark

But my friends all have their orders

To keep me in the dark.

 

 

Chorus:     So I learn nothing!

Nothing!

Nothing new at all.

There’s nothing

But waiting

For the other shoe to fall.

There’s nothing

Nothing

I’m so tired of just nothing

Nothing

Not a bit of news at all.

 

At Grimmauld Place:

Who cut off Voldemort from

The Philosopher’s Stone?

Who got rid of Riddle in

The Chamber, all alone?

I want to know what’s going on

Can’t you understand?

What’s Voldemort out doing now?

Has he tipped his hand?

 

Chorus:     But you know nothing!

Nothing!

Nothing new at all.

There’s nothing

But waiting

For the other shoe to fall.

There’s nothing

Nothing

I’m so tired of just nothing

Nothing

But waiting

Without any news at all.