You can be mad in the morning

I’ll take back what I said

Just don’t leave me alone here

It’s cold, Baby, come back to bed

 

 

 

Come Back to Bed  by Muggle Molly

 

 

 

He awoke with a start, feeling slightly disoriented.  What was that noise?  Reaching out to the opposite side of the bed, he found it unoccupied; she wasn’t there. 

 

I guess she couldn’t sleep, he reasoned.  Must have been the door shutting.

 

He rolled over to the other side of the bed and hugged her pillow in a tight embrace, noticing that it felt slightly damp.  Well, now I’ve done it; I’ve made her cry, he thought in exasperation and he rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling.  The grandfather clock in the hallway chimed. 

 

Three in the morning… here we go again, he thought.  What did I do wrong this time?

 

 Did it really matter?  Lately, nothing he did seemed to please her.

 

 I don’t set out to be “an insensitive wart”… her words, not mine…never know I’ve done wrong until she points it out, so how can that be intentional?  You’d think that after all this time she would have developed a thicker skin!  This thought was punctuated by his fist pounding the mattress like a hammer.

 

 I mean, come on, she knew what I was like in school and a leopard does not change his spots...or is it a tiger and his stripes...it’s too bloody early in the morning to be witty.  The point is: doesn’t she know what to expect from me by now?  Really, it can’t be a surprise that I “must make a show in front of others”…again her words. 

 

He wished he could recall just what he had said or did this past evening that set her off this time.

 

Must have been my joking around at dinner, but when did making light of an uncomfortable situation turn into a bad thing?  She used to LOVE my sense of humor.  He could always bring a smile to that lovely face without much effort...armed with only my debonair charm.

 

Fine, so she could be right; maybe I’m not trying hard enough.   When you love someone, it shouldn’t be this much work.  He just wanted to keep her safe...now more than ever.   Why couldn’t she understand that?

 

 What a difference a couple of years had made.  Now she was constantly telling him he needed to act more grownup…more mature.

 

 I happen to think I’ve done quite well, thank you very much!  In my opinion, I’ve turned out much better than many of our schoolmates…a model wizard, in fact; well-respected in the community!

 

Why was she so sensitive?   He never had any complaints about her.  Not anything major anyway.  He accepted her just as she was… for the most part, and did not expect her to change for him.   

 

We had a pretty good idea what we were getting into; knew all we needed to about each other by the end of school, ready to make a lifetime commitment.  In the beginning, being with her was all he imagined it would be…maybe even more.  So, when did it start to go wrong?  Not wrong…different.

 

 So much in their world was changing; their lives were changing.   Most people in their community were on edge these days.  The political tension was so thick you could almost cut it with a knife; sides were being formed, lines drawn.

 

 We must all be on guard; these are dark times.  I realize that.  But we can’t let fear take hold of us and change who we truly are.   

 

 Bringing her pillow to his face, he breathed in deeply. 

 

Um… smells just like her.  I love that smell…I love her. 

 

For a long moment, he allowed random images to run through his mind as he continued to drink in her fragrance.  

 

 This isn’t a big deal, not really.  I know she’s not a quick forgive, but it will pass soon enough…always does.  She loves me; I’ve never doubted that for a minute.

 

 He let out a long sigh and continued to stare blankly at the ceiling, hugging the pillow tighter in the chilly darkness of the night.  

 

“Bugger this!  A pillow is no substitute for the real thing” he said resolutely.

 

Sitting up, he swung his legs over the side of the bed, his feet searching for his slippers as he pulled on his robe.  It’s too cold and lonely in here without her.   Time to suck it up and be the “mature man” she wants.  It won’t be so bad.  I can do this… just turn on the old charm

 

He paused and smiled at his reflection as he passed her dressing table mirror.

 

 “How can she resist?”

 

 

 

 

 

***********************************

 

 

She sat in the isolation of the cool dark room, wrapped in an afghan, staring into the dying embers in the fireplace, the chair creaking faintly as she rocked back and forth.  She did her best thinking in this rocking chair and she’d had ample time for that lately…maybe too much time.  Not being as involved as she used to be was affecting her more than she cared to admit.  Perhaps being temporarily sidelined had made her just a bit…jealous.  She hated not being as active in the Cause as he.  The overall situation was getting more dangerous with each passing week and she was in no condition to risk it all in a battle.

 

 Being confined to this house would make her feel so useless.  I know I must, but he was out of line to insist on it.  She would never deliberately put herself in harm’s way, but to bring it up in front of so many others…he made me so mad I could have hexed him right on the spot!

 

“Does he think I’m stupid?  That I have no common sense?” she said aloud to the quiet room.

 

 Calm down, she told herself.  Getting upset won’t fix anything.  

 

She took a few deep breaths, tilted her head back against the chair and continued to rock.

 

 I suppose I shouldn’t take it out on him.  It’s not his fault, she thought as she rubbed her slightly swollen belly.  What am I saying?  This is all his fault!

 

She let her mind wander for several moments and could not suppress the grin that burst across her face.  Well… not entirely his fault.  She felt the tense muscles in her back and shoulders begin to relax as a flood of happiness and contentment washed over her.  He just loves me and wants me safe.  “Wants us safe,” she said out loud as she patted her tummy. 

 

After a few minutes, her mood changed once again.  No!  I am going to stay mad this time, she thought with determination.  It will do him a world of good to realize he can’t charm his way out of this one!  

 

Again, moments passed and memories surfaced:  the two of them studying together in the common room…the long walks around the lake…that first awkward kiss… being aware that they would be separated after final term ended and not knowing how they would bear it.

 

Heaven help me, but I do love him, the insufferable git!  But why won’t he grow up just a little?

 

She could be satisfied with “just a little”.  After all, she never set out to turn him into the perfect husband. Oh, I suppose I would miss all those endearing little flaws, but honestly, he never knows when to back off!

 

“Well, little one,” she said softly, one hand patting her abdomen, “I’m sorry to say that your Dad can be a bit of an idiot.  You’d best learn that right from the start.”

 

Suddenly, she was startled by an unexpected voice from behind her chair. “Too right you are,” he said as he placed his hand over hers.  “But I promise to try harder.”  Now he was bent down in front of her and spoke in the direction of her stomach. “You and your Mum deserve that much.”  He slowly raised his eyes to meet hers and gave her that look she knew all too well.  The one he knew worked on her every time.

 

“Oh, no you don’t, James Potter!” she cried in a threatening tone.  “You are not going to charm your way out of this one.  I am mad at you and I am going to stay mad at you a while longer!  That’s just what you deserve.  I bet you don’t even know why I’m so mad, do you?  Well, do you?”

 

Before he could answer, Lily continued on.  “I am upset about your suggestion tonight to the Order that Alice Longbottom and I be relieved from all duties and…”  This time, James cut her off.

 

“Lily, you heard what Dumbledore said, and with Death Eater activities on the rise…”

 

“Albus Dumbledore is stuck in the Middle Ages!” she exclaimed.  ”Alice and I are pregnant, James, not invalids.”

 

 

Her husband tugged at the hand resting under his.  “It’s late, Lily,” he whispered as he pulled her to her feet.  “You and the baby need rest and you know I can’t sleep if you’re not there. You can be mad in the morning and I’ll take back what I said.  Just don’t leave me alone here…it’s cold.  Come back to bed.” 

 

James kissed his wife on the forehead and stared into those green eyes he loved so much, which soon began to glisten with tears. After a moment, Lily smiled and raised a hand to gently ruffle her husband’s already disheveled hair.  Arm in arm, they walked down the hallway in silence as the grandfather clock in the hallway chimed again.

 

 

 

***********************************

 

 

 

A/N:  Did you guess the correct couple?  This is my first James/Lily piece.  It started out to be Ron/Hermione but eventually evolved into this. 

The opening verse, as well as a few bits of dialog, came from a great Blues tune, ‘Come Back to Bed’, by John Mayer, songwriter extraordinaire.  I thank him for writing such inspiring lyrics.

 And, as always, Jo Rowling is responsible for creating these fantastic characters that keep running around inside my head.  I hope I got them right.

 My deepest appreciation goes out to my beta, Ara Kane; I am learning a great deal from you, thanks for your patience.

To all who have made it this far, I have one request…please review.