(A/N: I don’t own
them, else they’d have to live in my messy house and Petunia could never abide
by that. This is one of those ‘haven’t
you ever wondered’ stories…enjoy!)
admired himself in the mirror above his bathroom sink. “My, Vern,” he thought to himself, “what a
splendid figure you cut there.” He had to admit, the pale blue of his polyester
coat did set off the reddish glint to his hair and the sparkling blue of his
eyes. And the cut accentuated his broad
shoulders and broad chest, making him look every inch the rather sturdy, barrel
chested rugby player he had been first at Smelting, then at university. Yes, he did look rather splendid. He hoped that this blind date he was going on
would admire him half as much.
frowned at the thought. He hoped this one
wasn’t another loony like his last girlfriend, Essie had been. Essie, or Esmeralda as her God given name
was-who on earth would name their child such a horrid and impractical name-had
been one of those free thinking, ‘hippy’ types.
Not his usual flavor at all. He
had met her at university in one of those silly modern sociology courses that
were all the rage now. He didn’t see
what it had to do with a degree in business, to be honest, but he had taken it
in order to graduate, and she had helped him through it. He had believed he was paying back the favor
taking her out. Instead, she had been
nothing but a headache, always demanding to be treated fairly, discussing the
rights of women and how men always trampled on them. She would carry on and on about things like
the rich getting richer, and down with unnecessary warfare. It had all gotten to Vernon
in the end, and while his time with her had been all right, he had been
pleasantly relieved when she had declared him an ‘unenlightened brute’ and had
summarily left to join an artist commune somewhere in Cornwall.
been a year ago, and while Vernon
hadn’t wanted for company, as the local girls at the pub often found him
amusing enough, he had recently had a complaint from his mother. Aged and ailing, she lived in the country on
an estate left to her from a wealthy aunt, and kept with her his only sibling,
Marge, who tended to her every whim. As
far as Vernon was concerned, Marge
was a saint for doing it. Mother was
insufferable in her demands at times, and this letter was no different. “Why haven’t you come to see me, you never
write? Look at your sister; she’s so
attentive, gives up her hopes of happiness to perform her filial duty! And where is your duty, then, Vernon,
if you aren’t here to see me? Where are
a wife and a grandchild to make my last days more pleasant?”
children, he hadn’t wanted to saddle himself with that nonsense right off. Vernon
had only left university two years before, and he was not even that long at
Grunnings, the drill company he had been hired by. He was just starting to get comfortable in
his position as ‘part quality supervisor’, and with the paperwork and detail
involved in ensuring that their factory up north gained even the smallest
screws necessary was quite consuming. He
had just this week had to call someone in Japan
and threaten them with all manner of ghastly bodily harm in order to ensure the
right electronic bits were shipped. But
then again, he supposed the man wasn’t all that frightened, as he didn’t seem
to speak much English.
to work on that a bit.
mother had always been a rather persistent and nagging presence, and even in
his silence he could hear her needling him about ‘wife and grandchildren’. It was rather annoying every time he left his
flat to the train and caught sight of a pretty, youngish thing with her
squalling brat, wandering down the street in front of him as if to taunt
him. It was almost vulgar how they
persisted in reminding him of his affront of not providing for his mother’s
happiness. How rude they all were. Still, it had bothered him enough for him to
say something to his flat mate, Roger about it.
boy, time for you to meet a nice girl then, wouldn’t you think?” Roger said.
had snorted at the idea. “What? I meet plenty enough nice girls’ down at
Jerry’s is a pub, mate, and the girls there are nice, but they go there to have
fun and have a good time, not to marry for life. No, you need a good girl, a nice one, one who
will keep a good house for you and not fuss too much. Nothing like a nagging wife to make a gent
feel miserable…you know, I’ll talk to Andi.”
Andrea was Roger’s girlfriend, and Vernon
suspected he wanted to marry the girl, but was rather disinclined in leaving
his mate alone and unfixed. “I bet she
knows a nice girl from her university days.
I bet she could fix you up right!”
tonight, Vernon was going on this
dubious date. He didn’t know a thing
about her. Questioning Roger’s
girlfriend was like trying to pump information out of brick, she would only
giggle and shake her head.
Vern, not this time. Don’t want you
going making up excuses as to why you can’t see her. She’s a perfectly nice girl, and I’ve known
her for years, and I won’t have you go messing things up by being a man.”
man! Well what else did she think he
was? She was sometimes disturbingly like
Essie in her use of those ‘free thinking ideas’. He wasn’t so sure he approved of her for
Roger, or her friend for himself. But,
Roger was his mate, and he had never led him astray so far.
you plan on leaving the loo anytime soon? Man’s got to look nice for his lady
you know!” Roger called. Vern took one
last chance to smooth out the newly grown mustache with a fine little
comb. Not that it was much at the
moment, it was rather new. He though it
would make his rather round face a little more adult with it on. Besides such splendid mustaches were all the rage now.
ready.” He left his preening and allowed his roommate the chance to fix himself
up. What would this night hold in store
for him, he wondered?
Evans yanked on her pale blonde hair viciously with a comb as she tried yet
again to un-rat the fifth hair style she had tried that evening. Oh this was never going to work; this man
would think she was horrible, absolutely horrible.
darling, it will be all right, and you look lovely. Stop fretting on you hair,” Andi called from her seat in Petunia’s bedroom, where she
was idly flipping through the channels on the telly. Petunia could hear her impatience to leave,
but she would just have to wait. Andi
was always the impatient one. She had
been since they met at university, and Petunia felt she was constantly bringing
the girl back down to earth.
Andi, if you have nothing better to say at the moment than platitudes, then
kindly find out what the news of the day is, would you?”
Petunia.” came the response, and Petunia returned to managing her hair.
If you were
Lily, a nasty voice whispered in her head, you wouldn’t be fussing with all
this. Of course not, she responded
mentally, because it was always easy for Lily.
She was a freak, she could just whip out a wand and make this all go
right, her with her strange powers. And
besides, it wasn’t like SHE had insipid, pale locks, no she had glorious auburn
tresses, deep russet ones that always seemed to fall just into place. And she never had to worry about looking too
peaked and pallid, as she always looked…perfect. Perfect, perfect, Lily in her perfect little
freakish world, always getting it her way, the good and wonderful things in
life always happened to Lily. Petunia
glared at her reflection in disgust.
Ever since she was born Lily had gotten it all, and Petunia was left to
suffice. The looks, the friends, the
attention…and even magic, she had gotten that as well. Petunia had thought it horrible that her
parents would be so delighted that all the strange things Lily did were a
gift! Why, with powers like that, Lily
could do any number of things…even horrible, cruel things Didn’t they see that? Of course, they never saw the wrong in Lily.
And now she
even had the boy too. Petunia had met this
Potter boy she had brought home from school last Christmas. She couldn’t see what Lily saw in him,
really. OK, well he was attractive, if
you liked those sort of wiry, devil-may-care sorts of boys, and he did have a
rather charming smile. But he was a
freak, like all the rest of them. And to
think, when her parents had asked him how he planned on supporting her sister,
he had said he would play that silly game of theirs. What was it, Quick Ditch? Whatever it was, he wanted to be one of those
players someday. Hardly a fitting way to
support a wife, as far as Petunia was concerned, and her parents had voiced
some reservations as well. But Lily
insisted he had his own means in the world, and that he would inherit a great
deal when he came of age. Ahhh, inherited money to squander, so there was wealth amongst
those freaks even if they seem to have no normal or even reputable jobs. Petunia didn’t want to know what they did to
get it. But she was certain those two
would spend it all before they even had a chance, and she’d be sure to see them
penniless on her parents’ doorstep at some point.
a rather independent sort. She didn’t
want to be beholden on her parents.
That’s why she had gone to university, received a teaching credential, and
took to primary education. She was a
firm teacher, who had an impeccably neat classroom, an immaculate student body,
who all remembered their manners, behaved properly, and above all were blessed
normal. Not a freak or a weirdo in the
bunch. Petunia kept her eyes out for them While she may be
bound by that silly law on secrecy those other freaks kept, she would take
action while she could to cultivate that child, turn it away from flights of
fancy and too much imagination. Yes,
those only made it worse. Perhaps she
could force the magic out of them before it was too late.
hadn’t realized she was holding the tube of lotion so tight till it squirted
the cap off and covered her in cream.
She grumbled, refusing to stoop to swearing.
No, proper ladies don’t swear. She reached for a tissue and wiped it off
furiously. Look at her, all worked up
over a silly date. You would think she
hadn’t had one before.
be told, she hadn’t really ever been on that many dates. There was a handful, mostly friends of boys
her friends had dated. Just like this
one, she thought ruefully. Boys never
seemed to want to ask her out. She was
too thin; too pale, too, ‘practical’, in other words not one of ‘those types of
girls’. Boys didn’t like Petunia with
her prim manners and her obsessive neatness, her formalities and distaste of
vulgarities. As one boy said, Petunia
was like, “dating your maiden aunt, only better looking.”
Petunia had heard all the stories of that boy later, and if rumor had it, he
got himself in a spot of trouble with a pretty young American girl studying
overseas. Oh, well she had hoped he had
gotten in a right proper mess.
didn’t want one of THOSE sorts of boys, the ones who wanted to have a girl and
then laugh about her behind her back, and she didn’t want anyone like that boy
that Lily brought home, a dashing, dangerous fellow who could lead to no
good. Rather, she wanted a down to earth
fellow, rugged, someone who could hold a steady job, who could do his work and
know his place, provide a good home for her and their children, and who would
be above all things, normal. She needed
that, craved it. She wanted normal.
wondered if this boy would be like that.
Andi hadn’t said a thing about him, not even his name. She only said he was a friend of Roger’s and
would ‘suit her’. Petunia didn’t think
she liked the sound of that. Roger was
one of those hopeless romantics, a bit like Potter in that he had big ideas and
thought he could carry them off. Well,
he could fall flat on his face too, and Petunia hoped this friend of his wasn’t
one of that sort. Really, she couldn’t
be bothered with it.
how awful!” Andi cried from the front room, “Petunia, a family in Kent,
all killed, a full twenty of them, in some sort of explosion. Seems they were there for a birthday party
and something went on with the gas.”
poked her head around the door of the bath and glanced at the telly. “Well, serves them right for not checking those
things, she said firmly. Not that she
didn’t feel bad for such a tragedy, but really, she didn’t know these people,
and it was no use getting worked up.
Probably someone forgot to turn off the gas and then lit a match for the
cake or something.
don’t be so harsh. It’s truly sad; it
was one grandmother’s 80th birthday.
Well, I hope they investigate. There
have been an awful lot of these funny accidents happening. Remember two weeks ago in Surrey?
Bet there is something wrong with all that old piping and no one is fessing
to get worked up, especially over politics.
Perhaps it was good then that Roger wanted to go into Parliament. “Yes, well Andi, I’m sure it will figure
itself out. Want to zip me up then?”
that Roger and Andi had chosen was a simple, quaint, Italian one. It was impossibly predictable for first blind
date settings. It was just the sort of
place Vernon hated, he disliked
kitch. Found it silly, sentimental. Of course, this was supposed to be about
‘wooing’, which in and of itself was silly and sentimental when you thought
about it, and he supposed there was a proper time and place for it. He hated ostentation, and as he eyed the man
with the violin in the corner with a dubious eye, he leaned over to Roger who
sat beside him at the dimly lit table.
who is this girl anyway?” Vernon
muttered for the fiftieth time.
grinned at him. Roger was one of these
pretty boys, the kind that made girl’s heart a’flutter,
and Vernon was always a bit annoyed
with him whenever he smiled. “Don’t know
which one, Vern, Andi has
quite a few friends. She didn’t even
tell ME who she was supposed to be bringing.”
let’s just hope she isn’t, well…too free spirited,” Vernon
mumbled and turned to watch the door quietly.
appeared, he felt his heart quicken. Vernon
rarely got nervous, except when he was in a situation he couldn’t explain. Those always made him feel nervous. And this seemed to be very much one of those nerve
wracking situations where he couldn’t explain it and he couldn’t just make it
up to the table alone, and Vernon
looked at her questioningly. She laughed
at the look on his face. “Oh, Vern,
don’t worry, she didn’t leave, she’s outside checking her appearance. She’s rather nervous you know. She
spent two hours getting ready.”
wasn’t so sure he liked this idea of a woman preening herself. Might be some self-absorbed twit. “Oh, she look as bad as all that?” he grumbled.
her eyes. “Of COURSE not, she’s just
nervous.” She glanced back out the door,
“oh, look, there she comes now!”
glanced back out the way Andi had come in searching for the mystery woman. He felt his pulse race inexplicably, and his
blood pressure rise. How silly! It was just a girl! He had known many since he was old enough to
realize they were good for something other than taunting and teasing.
bad looking for a girl at that, either.
Perhaps a bit on the thin side, but coming from a family of healthy,
robust people, thin wasn’t all together bad.
She had rather lovely hair though, and a shy, pleasant smile. No, Vernon
thought she wasn’t as bad as all that. In
fact he sort of rather liked her.
met his eyes and blushed. Yes, a rather
fetching thing that, he hated it with these modern women, bold as brass. And neat too, her appearance was spotless. Yes, an all together well put together
women. He was sure that mother would
was thinking that far. The idea sort of
surprised him. He hadn’t even gotten her
name yet and he was considering mother.
name’s Vernon Dursley, you are?” He held out his beefy, rugby scarred hand out
to her delicate palm.
Evans, thank you. It’s a pleasure to
meet you.” She had such a melodious quality to her voice. Yes, he rather thought he liked her.
pleased, grinning at Roger. “Yes, shall
we eat then? I’m starving!”
pleasant enough, and Petunia felt herself quite enjoying it when she overlooked
the worn tablecloths and dust on the floor.
Roger and Andi were a bother, continually bringing up trite topics, like
politics and economics, something that Petunia cared little for, but which
seemed to interest Vernon, as he made very clear and bold hisopinions
on each topic they brought up. He’d
glance at Petunia every so often as if to see if she approved. Petunia would smile demurely, would make a
vague comment, and Vernon would
return to his commentaries with Roger, arguing till he was practically red in
the face on the idea of mayoral elections in London,
of which he was against. Petunia
couldn’t care really, she had no interest in politics, well at least nothing
that one couldn’t read in those tabloids she was always picking up at the
newsstand, and nasty things that she couldn’t help but purchase. But she couldn’t fault Vernon
in his interest in it; in fact she found it strangely comforting. A man who was involved in normal activities, who liked normal news, and normal issues, and was passionate
about how he felt about them. She
never been the outgoing sort; Lily had inherited all of that, much to the
chagrin of Petunia. Lily had never been
unable to make friends, to talk to strangers, or to have firm opinions. Petunia had only known one thing in her life,
and that was that Lily and her kind were strange, a danger, a threat to all the
normality Petunia craved. She didn’t
want to change the world; Petunia only wanted her world in a happy little
place. This man seemed to be the type
who liked that too, and under no uncertain terms told everyone how he wanted it
so bad looking as all that. Athletic at
least, but not in the thin and rakish way of that Potter fellow Lily was
bringing home. No, he was stout, toughly
built like a bulldog, and must have been a rugby player. That was a normal sport, not like that silly
game Lily’s kind played. And while
Vernon didn’t have the looks of Potter or that one friend of his, the other
dark haired one with the impish manners and deep blue eyes…lord, that boy would
have charmed the Queen if he wasn’t a freak…Vernon was rugged in his
features. Not a pretty boy, but not awful
either. And that mustache, she had this
urge to touch it just then. She had
never dated a boy with one; she wondered what it would be like to kiss…
heavens, what thoughts! She blushed
furiously and Vernon, who had
turned to her, seemed to notice.
wrong then, Ms. Evans?” he asked, frowning.
“Oh no, Mr.
Dursley, it’s a bit warm in here, don’t you think?” She picked up her napkin then and fanned
herself briefly, trying hard not to smile.
He had noticed. Perhaps he liked
her as well.
“And so you
see, Roger, with all these Labour Party changes,
we’ll just fall into economic ruin soon.
Fiscal responsibility is what’s needed, I say, and soon, before this
country falls into a…”
Vern, I know it’s getting late, and Petunia looks as if she might fall over
there in a bit,” Andi piped up, casting him a
blinked at her in surprise, he hated being interrupted, and didn’t get her
pointed look right away. “Well, Andi,
I’m sure if Ms. Evans is tired, she would…”
seeing Vernon wasn’t getting the hint,
nodded at Andi. “Yes, I bet she could
use an escort home then, Vern, I know Andi could. You want to see to that then, while I make
sure Andi gets home safe and sound.” He jerked his
head towards Petunia, who seemed rather muddled by the proceedings herself.
cottoning on, Vernon turned
crimson. “Ooooohhhh….yes, well. Errr, Ms. Evans?” He turned to Petunia
abashedly. “Could I do you the honor
Petunia said breathlessly, and then turned her eyes down to her clasped hands
sitting in her lap. “I mean…if you don’t
have anything better to do…”
up. “No, he doesn’t, now get along old
boy, make sure the lady gets home in one piece.” Grinning madly at his
roommate, he grabbed his own date, and the two hurried towards the restaurant
door, tossing a handful of notes down on the table as they went.”
thought, they probably forgot the tip besides.
But then he looked at Petunia, who was still blushing furiously at her
lap, and smiled.
I finish paying this up and we’ll be on our way then, shall we?”
shyly and nodded. Ahh, that was such a pretty
look on her.
settled the bill quickly, and then returned to Petunia, reaching for her
jacket. “Mind if I help you into this?”
he asked gallantly. She shook her head,
and waited patiently as he helped her into her jacket, then stared wide eyed as
he took her arm. Apparently she wasn’t
used to this sort of attention. Good, he
thought. Means she’s not the type who
normally runs around with boys.
reached the sidewalk, he looked both ways.
“Which way to your place then?”
right. “Oh, just five blocks or so this
way, it isn’t far. I don’t like roaming London
too, he liked that. London
wasn’t too safe of a place. “Good idea,
that. Good thing I’m here can make sure
you get home all right!” He puffed up
his chest ever so slightly to make himself appear bigger. Petunia noticed, and smiled. She at least admired his ability to fend off
those who intended them harm.
a bit about yourself then, Ms. Evans.
Where are you from, what do you do?” Vernon
thought these could be good conversation starters.
stiffened a bit at this. “Why?” She
asked a little too harshly.
faltered. “Err…well, because I know
nothing about you…and, well…I’m interested.”
reddened, and then stammered. “Oh, I’m
sorry, I didn’t mean to imply…it’s just…well, you see, I’m not used to going
out that much, you know.”
relaxed a bit. “Ahhh, yes, well it can
be a little nerve wracking.” He usually wasn’t this nervous but even his own
heart was beating fast. “So, where are
suburbs south of town, nice little comfortable houses, the you
know how those are. It’s very…normal.”
She giggled a bit at this. “My parents
moved there when I was little, from here in the city. They still live there…with my sister.” Her
voice tightened a bit at this.
“Well…most of the time without my sister. She attends boarding school up north, and
isn’t home much. But they are happy
there.” Petunia nodded firmly, as if confirming this to herself.
nodded. “Yes, I have a sister as well. She lives with Mother on an old country
estate some rich, batty aunt left to her eons ago. It’s convenient for Mother, she hated the
city, and when Father passed, it was a good place for her to retire. Marge, my sister, takes care of her and
raises dogs. Fine too.” He smiled. “Do you like dogs?”
Petunia said sharply, and then laughed nervously. “Uhhh…no, rather I am not fond of them. My sister has a pet…bird, but it goes to
school with her. I’m not an animal sort
thought, he rather liked dogs. But he
surmised he could get by for now with a woman who wasn’t so fond of them. At least she didn’t like cats.”
do you do then, Ms. Evans? I work at
Grunnings myself, in a managerial position.”
He wasn’t telling a lie, in fact he hoped to be up to a manager in a
year or two, it was just that part quality control didn’t sound nearly as
“Oh, I work
in education, I teach at a primary school just over there.” She smiled. “I rather like it for now; it’s not bad work,
again. “Well, I don’t see myself staying
in it forever. I rather plan on marrying
sometime, and would like to stay at home then.”
career minded woman than?” Vernon
was pleased. He wanted a wife who was
there to please him and take care of his children, not out to make a name for
herself in a man’s world.
“Oh, no, I
think the best place for me is at home.
I rather like homemaking, always did.
My mother was one, why shouldn’t I be?” She stated it so matter of
factly, Vernon couldn’t help but
agree with you more, Ms. Evans.” He
rather appreciated that in a woman, one who knew her place.
did you end up at…Grunnings, was it?” Petunia inquired politely.
went to university after I finished up at Smeltings. That’s a private school for boys, rather
distinguished.” Vernon puffed
himself up a bit. “My own father went
there. Anyway, I went to university,
took a business degree, and they discovered my natural born leadership
qualities and hired me on to management.
I’m hoping to be promoted in the next year or so.” He hoped that was sufficiently impressive.
it was, as she opened her eyes wide.
“Well, it seems you have a rather nice life then. How did you fall in with Roger then?” The
tone of Petunia’s voice hinted she didn’t think so much of Roger. Vernon
had his issues with Roger as well, he was a bit of a gad about, a hopeless
dreamer, liked to get lost in visions and schemes. But he liked Roger well enough,
he was going into politics, which Vernon
felt might come in useful to himself someday when he was climbing the corporate
ladder. Roger was a rugby mate, a rough
and tumble sort of fellow, not one of these namby, pamby
rich boys, pampered and groomed to take the reigns of office someday.
friend from university, he’s a straight sort of fellow. Played rugby with me there, rather a flighty
chap, but nice enough.” Vernon had
hoped that he talked up Roger enough to Petunia that she would at least
I didn’t say he wasn’t nice, just…well he is an awful sort of romantic
fellow. Given to all sorts of ridiculous
things for Andi. Why, I remember when we
were out to lunch, he arrived with a bouquet of balloons the size of a small
auto, and then presented them to her as if they were solid gold. I’d have been mortified by it, but Andi just
laughed.” Petunia wrinkled her nose as if such disgusting displays of affection
were so reprehensible, she wouldn’t be caught alive or dead in such.
made a mental note of this. “Oh, well,
Roger is a bit head over heels for the girl.
But Andi is nice enough, isn’t she?”
rather, she’s been a friend of mine since university as well. She’s madcap, I admit, but it’s nice to have
one of those types of friends, as long as they aren’t…”
finished. Oh, yes, Essie, his last
girlfriend had been that type. He was
glad to see Petunia had her head on her shoulders.
that’s it.” She smiled brightly at him.
He suddenly felt rather warm all the sudden.
is it.” She pointed at a brown, brick building, quaint, proper, and rather
bespeaking of Petunia Evans. Vernon
nodded and turned to her.
guess I’ll see you off here then.” This girl was far too proper to ever ask him
seemed to want to say something, but then closed her mouth and blushed. “I suppose I’ll see you around then?”
nodded, a little tongue tied. What to
say now? “Yes, I suppose.”
turned to go. “Well, good night then.”
He placed a
hand on her elbow. “Wait…”
back, surprised. “Yes.”
have your number then…you know, give you a ring. Perhaps just you and I could go out sometime
I?” Petunia let these words fall out between them with an air of
felt his face turn red then, and he quickly removed his hand.
mean, only if you want too…” he began.
TO!” she fairly shouted, then smiled.
“No, I want to…just…no boy has ever wanted to before.”
thought Vernon, how could they not.
reached into her purse, pulled out a pen and paper, and wrote a hurried number
down. She pressed it into Vernon’s
palm, and then leaned ever so slightly, and grazed his ruddy cheek with the
lightest of kisses.
shocked by her own boldness, Petunia stood straight up, stared at him and
without thinking, turn and ran for her own door. She was out of sight before Vernon
could stop her.
a silly fashion, he reached a hand up to his cheek. Ever so lightly he could feel the burn of her
lips against his skin. What daring it
had taken that girl to do that!
a light came on. He looked up to what he
surmised was Petunia’s flat. In the
window’s gauzy hangings he could see a shadow, and surmising it was her, he
waved, ever so slightly. Then, with a
happy smile, he turned, and began walking down the street, humming to
himself. Yes, what a lovely evening this
turned out to be, Vernon Dursley, and what a wonderful date you turned out to
his retreating figure, Petunia Evans stood just out of shot of her window
watching Vernon walk jauntily down
the street, her cheeks still burning with what she had done. She had never initiated a kiss with a boy,
let alone out in public. And yet, there
she had done it, right in front of her own house. My, she shocked herself.
man be the one then? She wondered. At last, she had someone in her life too, and
Lily couldn’t be the only one to claim she had a beau. Petunia had this mad desire to sing, to
shout…but that wasn’t the way Petunia acted.
No. Instead, she reached for her
phone, and without thinking, dialed the familiar number of her parent’s home.
Mother, I have some rather delightful news.
Yes, you see, I met this boy…”
(Thanks to Moey for being a great
Beta, even despite my errors, and to my mother who reads them all and tells me
they are wonderful. LOL)