A/N: All characters and places not original are the property of JK Rowling. This is the story of the Marauders from Remus Lupin's point of view.
Through The Eyes of A Wolf: The Marauders Tales
Book One: Year One
Chapter 1: How I Got From Here to There
"He can't be a wizard!"
Those were the worst words I'd ever heard in my life. And to think, my own father uttered them. It was like I was even more a disgrace to them for being a wizard.
"I saw it with my own eyes, do you doubt me?" That was my mother. She always tried to defend me, even when I was a handful.
"Elizabeth, he's not even human. How could he be a wizard?"
Ouch. That stung. Here I am, nine years old, and trying to impress my parents by lighting the lamps in the dining room with my mother's wand. What do I get for it? The usual, being told I'm not human. That was something I really couldn't help. I was just a small child and had no idea there was a werewolf wandering around near the house.
I will never in my entire life forget that night. I was five years old. It was winter. The ground was covered in snow. I've always loved the snow. Mother had bundled me up to go play for the afternoon with the other children in the neighborhood.
It had been snowing, so none of us realized how late it was until the clouds parted and the full moon shone down. Little did I know that after that night, that moon would haunt me for the rest of my days. I started running home as fast as my little legs would carry me. It really wasn't that late, only about six thirty, but I knew Mother would be quite upset.
I don't even remember where it was hiding. I went around the bushes into our yard when this huge gray dog-like creature tackled me and began to bite me. Being five, the only thing I knew to do was scream. Mother and Father were outside quickly. Father raised his wand and fired a bolt at the creature. It let me go and ran off into the woods.
Mother cried. Father picked me up and carried me inside. He quickly summoned the healer. I only know this because I was told later. Much later. The healer patched me up as best he could and suggested they take me to St. Mungo's as soon as they could.
That's where I woke up. St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, First Floor, Creature Induced Injuries. There was another healer poking me all over. Well, it hurt, so I told him in my five-year-old language to stop poking me. Basically, I screamed.
After all the prodding and poking was over, the healer told my parents I should be "put down." Oh yes, quite the best thing for a five-year-old to overhear. He said I would be a menace if left alive. Right, like any five-year-old wasn't already a menace.
My mother, on the other hand, would hear nothing of it. She was bound and determined to figure out how to help me. I loved my mother. She always fought for me when I couldn't defend myself.
My father, however, agreed with the healer. I wasn't turning out at all how he hoped. First, I hadn't shown any magical ability at all. Second, I had just been bitten by a werewolf and was destined to be a "creature of the night" for the rest of my life. Not his idea of the perfect son.
I wanted to put in my two Sickles as well. Even at the age of five, I was well advanced. I looked at all three of them and said, "This is my life and I will live it how I choose."
To say they were shocked was an understatement. I remember my mother's words. "Well, you heard it from the horse's mouth, gentlemen." She had the biggest grin on her face as she hugged me tightly.
And so I did live my life. After a while, my father became somewhat used to the idea of what I had become. My mother did all she could to make me comfortable at those times of the month. They had a shed built in the back yard. It was reinforced with magical barriers. Admittedly, the change was painful, but at least I was comfortable when I woke up.
That brings me back to when I was nine. Exposing my aptitude with magic wasn't exactly the best thing in the world to do. Especially to my father. He now was harping on what a menace I would be, being a wizard and a "creature of the night."
"Creature of the night." Oh, how I hate those words. They haunt me constantly. My father could never say I was a werewolf. He just couldn't stomach the word.
My mother, as always, God rest her soul, defended me. "John, he's just a boy. Remus wouldn't hurt a fly!"
"Remus wouldn't, but what about the creature? He's even more dangerous now. There is no school that would take a child like him. Not even Hogwarts." Father was pacing the kitchen.
I watched through the partly open doorway. Mother was sitting at the table trying to reason with my father. Dinner sat on the stove getting cold. I was hungry, but I wasn't about to interrupt their discussion.
"How do you know Dumbledore won't accept him? He is the most understanding Headmaster the school has ever had. I'm sure Remus will be accepted. His marks are more than adequate to get him in."
Father walked to the back door and grabbed his cloak. "I'm going out. Don't wait up." He threw open the door and disappeared outside.
Mother began to cry. I hated to see her cry. I ran to her. "Mother, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset Father. I promise I won't use magic again."
She grasped me tightly. "Do not ever promise such a thing, Remus. Magic is a gift. I know you will use it wisely. I have every bit of faith in you." We cried for nearly an hour before either of us realized how much time had passed.
Father eventually returned and began accepting my magical abilities. Mother had convinced him I was not a danger. He agreed. However, he was very surprised the day an owl arrived for me when I was but ten and a half.
Mother gasped when she saw the seal on the envelope. I picked it up since it had my name on it. It was very odd. It said "Mr. R. J. Lupin, Bedroom at the top of the stairs, Second floor, 833 Wilshire Road, Rothes, Scotland."
Turning it over, I carefully broke the wax seal. Inside was a folded piece of parchment. On the top was an elaborate crest with a stylized H in the middle. I unfolded the parchment and began to read.
Dear Mr. Lupin,
I am pleased to inform you of your acceptance into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Due to your unusual circumstances, Headmaster Dumbledore and I will visit with your parents and you very soon. You will find a list of equipment you will need when you arrive at the school.
Until we meet,
Professor Minerva McGonagall
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
I looked at Mother. She was positively beaming. "I'm so proud of you," she said.
"So this is where you went to school?" I asked. I had no idea. This was all very new to me. I read over the equipment list, all things typical for a new wizard, cauldron, robes, wand, etc.
"Yes, dear. Hogwarts is where I met your father. I knew Dumbledore would accept you. I just knew it!"
Father walked into the room and did a double take when he saw the letter. "He was accepted?" That was all he said, in shock, I might add.
Mother looked up and nodded. "Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall will be coming by to speak with us about it. Isn't this wonderful?"
He was totally dumfounded. I had never seen him like this before. I wondered if he'd ever speak again. But he did, of course, though it was quite a few minutes later before he found his voice. "Well, this is unexpected."
Mother was about to reply when there was a knock at the back door. I went over and opened it. A tall wizard with a pointed hat, robes and a long, snow-white beard stood with a witch who was wearing wine colored robes and a hat that matched. "May I help you?" I asked cordially. If I learned one thing from my mother, it was my manners.
"You must be young Remus," the wizard said. "I am Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This is Professor McGonagall. We have come to speak with your parents. You did receive your letter, correct?"
I didn't move. I was too afraid to move. Luckily, Mother arrived behind me and pulled me from the doorway. "Please come in Professors," she said with a sweep of her arm. The sweep also caused a teapot to fill itself with water and begin warming on the stove. "How good of you both to come see us."
"Elizabeth, dear. You are as beautiful as ever." Dumbledore gave her a quick peck on the cheek.
Mother blushed. I had finally regained my senses and went to hold a chair out at the table for Professor McGonagall. I watched the wizened wizard approach my father. They shook hands cordially. Professor McGonagall thanked me for holding the chair and I sat down beside her.
My parents sat on the opposite side from the Professors. I watched my father stare down Dumbledore. Though it was the first time we had met, I felt a strange bond with the old wizard. The way he was looking back at my father was curious. His eyes were sparkling with mischief and he smiled.
"I know both of you must be quite excited that Remus will be attending Hogwarts," he said as he watched the teapot pour him some tea.
Mother returned his smile, yet Father spoke first. "How do you plan on protecting the students?" He stared into the Headmaster's eyes, my father's eyes quite hard.
Professor McGonagall was the one to answer. "We know of Remus' special condition. We have made arrangements and have a place for him on those nights. Our nurse, Poppy Pomfrey, has been briefed and is studying his condition. You may remember her John, she was in your class."
Father nodded. "I remember she had an affinity for healing."
"She's the best," Dumbledore said. "That's why she is now at Hogwarts. Everything is well under control, John. You needn't worry about Remus."
He snorted. "I'm not worried about him. I am worried about the rest of your students."
I began to shake in anger and fear. My father was about to release all his aggression about me to the headmaster of a school I now wanted to go to. Did he truly hate me?
The smile had disappeared from Dumbledore's face and his eyes had hardened. "He is not a monster, John," he replied in a very soft, yet commanding voice. "He is a child. A magical child who deserves to learn how to control his abilities. He also deserves to be around other children his own age who have the same abilities as he does."
My father paled, I'd never seen him look so nervous. I guess he realized just what he had said and to whom. Unfortunately, it didn't last long. All he had to do was look at me. I met his gaze steadily. He was the one person I had wanted my entire life to accept me as I am. I had hoped that going to Hogwarts would help.
The silence in the room was deafening. I didn't dare breathe for fear of disturbing it. Father was the one to break our staring contest. He finally turned his attention back to Headmaster Dumbledore. "One year," he said shortly. "If he causes any trouble at all, he will be removed from the school."
I could see Professor McGonagall's eyes narrow, but Dumbledore smiled. "That is quite acceptable, John. I assure you and Elizabeth that Remus will be no trouble at all. Isn't that right, Remus?"
I looked up in shock. Had he just addressed me? "Er, yes sir," I sputtered out. How was I going to get into trouble? Ever since the accident, I'd never had friends again. As if I would have friends at a big school for wizards and witches.
"No trouble whatsoever. I hear of one thing and that's it." Father was looking straight at me now. I swallowed hard and nodded.
Professor McGonagall patted my shoulder. "I am sure you will do just fine." She smiled and stood from the table. "Come along, Albus. We have lots to do before the children arrive. Thank you for the tea, Elizabeth."
Dumbledore stood and gave me a wink. The mischief was back in his eyes. I couldn't help but smile. "Yes, Minerva. I tell you, Professor McGonagall certainly likes to keep me on my toes."
Mother giggled as she and Father stood to show the two professors out. I opened the letter again and began to go over the items I was going to need. I knew money was fairly tight, but I was sure we could get some of the things used, like books and the cauldron. I summoned some parchment and a quill and ink to make notes of all I would need. Yes, I was excited. This was the most important thing to ever happen to me.
Several weeks later, Mother took me to Diagon Alley to shop. I was overwhelmed at all the storefronts and people wandering about. The first place we went was Olivander's, the wand shop. That was the most important item and Mother told me that we would spend whatever it would cost on the perfect wand.
The shop was slightly musty smelling and the walls were covered in boxes. Mr. Olivander, an older man with graying hair, looked up as we entered. He must have been through this many times. Looking at me, the measuring tape leapt off his desk and began to check me. I was flabbergasted at how quickly Mr. Olivander worked.
Within moments he'd gone to a shelf near the back and carefully pulled out a box. "Birch with a dragon heartstring," he said as he handed me the white colored wand.
I took it. Instantly, I could tell it wasn't going to work and frowned. He urged me to wave it, and I did, with disastrous results. An entire wall of boxes collapsed.
"No, that one won't do." He searched several other shelves, climbing a rolling ladder to get to higher points. "Ah. Willow with kneazle hair."
This wand felt fragile in my hand. I felt that if I even gripped it, it would snap in two. Mr. Olivander could tell that immediately and took it away. He stroked his chin and looked at me. It felt like he was looking <i>through</i> me. After a few moments, he snapped his fingers. "I was going the wrong way." He strode to a shelf in the middle of the store. Taking the box from the very middle, he gingerly pulled it out.
I watched him with curiosity. This man seemed very intelligent, yet acted rather absently. He brought me the box. "This one is made of walnut with dragonbone."
It was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid my eyes upon. The wood was thick and sturdy. There was no way I was going to break this. I took it in my hand and felt a sudden bond with it. I waved it and was pleased when it released a trail of sparkles behind it.
Mother paid for it while I stood near the door playing with my new wand. The bell on the door rang and I looked up. A boy with scraggly black hair and glasses entered with his father in tow. We locked eyes and he smiled broadly. "You starting at Hogwarts this year?" he asked.
I nodded. I've never been one for conversation, polite or otherwise. That just isn't me.
"I'm James," he said with enthusiasm as he shoved his hand towards me.
I put my wand in my pocket and shook his hand. "Remus," I replied. For some reason, I had the urge to smile. This boy's attitude was contagious.
"Nice to meet you, Remus. You're from northern Scotland, right? I can tell by your accent."
And he's darn impressive too. "Yes, I'm from Rothes."
"Wow, that's pretty far north." Now he seemed impressed with me. "Well, I better go get my wand. See you at the station next week!" He waved as he walked over to his father.
Mother smiled as she walked up. "Looks like you have a new friend," she said.
I shrugged. "Dunno. We just met. He seems rather nice."
"Let's get moving. We have a lot more things to get." She led the way out of the shop.
It was mid-afternoon when we finally took a break. We were nearly finished with shopping. My feet were sore from walking and being stepped on. Mother took me to Fortiscue's for some ice cream. I got the triple chocolate fudge sundae. It was delicious.
As I was trying to scrape the last remnants of chocolate from the bottom of the bowl, Mother asked, "Have you decided which animal you wish to have?"
I looked up. I must have had chocolate all over my face from the smirk on my mother's face. Quickly picking up my napkin, I wiped my face. Sure enough, there was a brown mark on the white material when I finished. "I don't know yet," I replied. "I thought I'd just go see what they have."
She nodded, knowing already what my answer was going to be. I could never get anything past my mother. "Why don't we try Eeylops' first. If you were to get an owl, it could bring me mail every week and I could send back your favorite chocolate biscuits." She grinned slyly.
"Sure," I said licking my spoon yet again. There certainly was nothing left on it by now, but I wasn't about to chance any chocolate getting stuck in a crevice.
Mother laughed. "They aren't going to have to wash that spoon now. You've cleaned it thoroughly!"
I grinned. "Aw, Mum. You know that I can't let any good chocolate go to waste."
"Aye, I know that very well." We stood and left the shop.
Outside Eeylops Owl Emporium were an assortment of owls of every shape and size. Some were large, like the great barn, and others were small, like the African pigmy. Others were of different colors, like the snowy white owl. I looked them over, weighing all the advantages and disadvantages of each.
When we entered, we were suddenly besieged as a flock moved down towards the door to greet us. I heard Mother speak to the shopkeeper as I wandered around. The birds all wanted my attention. I scanned the room and my eyes fell upon a small horned owl sitting by itself. It seemed to be ignoring us intentionally. She, as I came to find out it was a she, did look directly at me. That was all I needed.
I locked eyes with her and moved over to where she was roosting. Neither of us broke contact. "Hello," I addressed her from a few feet away.
She cocked her head and fluffed her feathers. I held out my arm and she flew over. Her head rotated from left to right before settling on my face. I was amazed by her intelligence.
"Ah, I see you've found our loner. She tends to stay by herself," the shopkeeper said. See, it's a she.
"She's beautiful," I breathed. And she was. Exceptionally so in my eyes. She approved by fluffing herself up and looking very proud.
"Isn't she rather small, Remus?" Mother asked.
She didn't like that one bit. Her head swiveled around to face my mother and looked at her indignantly. "Oh Mum, she's perfect."
"If that's what you want." I nodded energetically. "All right, then." She pulled out her purse and went off with the shopkeeper to pay for her.
The owl hopped up my arm and onto my shoulder. I began racking my brain trying to figure out a name for her. "Hm, what should I name you?" I said aloud.
"Who," she replied in a tone much lower than I expected from such a small animal.
"Why you, silly," I giggled at my little jest. She pecked at my ear affectionately. "I'll figure it out soon enough."
Mother walked up with a cage and a small box. "Ready to head home?" she asked.
I nodded. "Yes. This is going to be the best year ever."