Disclaimer. J. K. Rowling owns everything, including copyright. I own nothing and have most shamelessly borrowed without asking.
Author’s Note. This story was not beta-read because Dennis Creevey does not believe in beta-reading. Most Sugar Quillers would disagree with his judgment on this point.
Prof McGonagalls Office
The British Isles
Saturday 5 October 1995
Dear Mum and Dad,
I hope you are very well. Colin and I are v. well. I hope Rover and Tibbles are v. well. I hope Grandma & Grandpa and Granny & Grandad are v. well.
This letter is my punnishment.
It was quite warm today for the time of year, but this evening it is raining.
Prof McGonagall is making me write this
The food at Hogwarts is v. good, but it doesnt do diary like were used to at home. The house-elfs dont make black cherry yoggurt. But they say that if you can kindly send some starter-culture from home they will make me some. So can you please please owl me a pot of black cherry yoggurt and then the elfs will start culturing the yoggurt and –
Prof McGonagall just looked over my shoulder and said thats not what I’m supposed to be writing. She says it would be a good start if I admit that I’m writing this letter in detenshun. All right.
I am sitting in detenshun in Prof McG’s office because I have been a very bad boy. And she said if I dont write this letter I will be in even worse trubble with even more detenshuns. But if I write this letter proply that will be the end of my punnishment, and it will be up to you weather I should
have to leave Hogwarts or not have a worse punnishment or not.
I broke a serious rule this morning. Colin was going to Hogsmeade, like you said he could. You signed his permishun, and he goes quite often. Hogsmeade is a v. safe place and Colin never does anything bad there. He just buys things that you cant buy at school, and looks at the intresting ejucashonal historick buildings. You are probably v. glad that Colin has the oppporpotunity to do a healthy holesome activity like visiting Hogsmeade with his nice pollite friends.
Prof Dumbles dosent let second-years go to Hogsmeade. This is because Prof D is v. cawshus and he wants Hogwarts to be a very very safe place. Nothing dangrous ever happens to anyone at Hogwarts. Or at Hogsmeade. So even though Hogsmeade is a v. safe place, Prof D is cawshus and says second-years cant ever go there.
But this morning I was board. And my friends were doing stuff without me and I wanted to be with my big brother. (You must be glad that your son Colin is just like best friend to your other son me.) Anyway, thats the rule I broke.
Today I went to Hogsmeade.
I had quite a smart stratejy.
Colin and all the big students had to sign a register for Mr Filtch. They did this at nine o’ clock. But I didnt sign because I’m only in second year. Prof McG says thats part of why my behavyour was so bad. It means nobody knew where I was all day long. The teachers thought I was at school but I wasnt.
Anyway, after Colin and his friends had gone, I was playing on the Quidditch pitch. And I waited until about ten o’ clock and then I just walked on past the lake and out thru the school entrance. No-one was looking because they thought everyone who was going to Hogsmeade had already gone. So I just walked out, I was going to say I was looking for a Quaffle that was thrown over the hedge, but no-one asked.
And I walked down the path, across the stashun, and into Hogsmeade. The sweet shop is called Honeydukes and Colin was in there with his friends Jinny and Nevil. And they werent supprised to see me, so they must have forgotten the rule about second years, so it isnt there fault. I stayed with Colin and his friends all day so you can see I was very very safe.
And we did safe things all day. After we had bort lots of sweets we went to the P.O. so Jinny and Nevil could send letters to their parents because they allways like there parents to know what they are doing. Lots of owls in the P.O. I’d like one of the white snowy ones but we didnt see one of that type. And we met a girl called Loona in the P.O. who was writing to her Dad and so Loona came with us for the rest of the day.
Then we went to look at the hunted house I know that sounds dangrous but it isnt really once youve been at Hogwarts for a while you understand that ghosts arent dangrous. The hunted house is called the Shreeking Shack but we didnt hear the shreeking. Loona says the shreeking is the spirit of a murder that was done there a hundred years ago (its a bit like a video, the way it keeps on showing something that isnt really there, only its done by the spirit of what happened instead of by tecknology. Magic is what wizards have instead of tecknology, we get used to that idea after weve been at Hogwarts for a wile) anyway I was disappointed not to hear the shreeking because that made it just a rickety old house and not really hunted at all. We looked in every room and the stairs creaked and the furniture was bashed but we didnt see blood or weppons or a ghost or anything intresting.
Prof McG says I am missing the point of why I am telling you all this and I need to watch my speling and punchashon. She says its not supposed to sound too much like a tourists travel gide its supposed to confess my Bad Behavyour.
Anyway. I cant rememember everything we did because we did so many things. We went to Zonkos and Colin bought
dungbombs a scary mask for Halloween because Halloween is always a big party at Hogwarts. The girls wanted to buy stuff in gladrags, hare ribbons I suppose, and then we went to Scrivenshafts because Nevil had broke his quills and needed some new ones. We saw a quick quotes quill but it was v. expensive I wish I had a QQQ now but Prof McG might say that was cheating when I’m supposed to be doing punnishment. And then we went to dervish & bangs and thats when disaster struck I got the just desserts for my crime.
Loona wanted to buy a talking clock as a present for her dad. It was a magic clock that tells him time to get up, time to cook dinner, time to go to his appopointment. And little men dance around and bells ring playing tunes. Nevil showed me and Colin the sneakyscopes, which buzz if anything sneaky is happening nearby, but the ones in the shop were all broken, they buzzed every time I touched one. While we were looking at the stuff the shop door opened and the sneakyscopes started howling like police sirens and we werent surprised because in walked Zabini.
You have to know that Zabini is a big boy and I dont like him he is always meen to the younger pupils. The sneakyscopes were deffening when Zabini came near and Mr Bang had to disable them. Zabini looked at me and his face had a v. supperior expression.
"Your name is Creevey, isnt it?" he said.
Colin said yes but Zabini wasnt talking to Colin.
"Creevey miner," he said. And I dont know why he thought I was a miner, unless he meant I was mining for sneakyscopes, but I knew he meant me. "Creevey miner, you are in second year," he said.
Jinny told him to mind his own bisness, and Loona started resiting a poem, but Zabini just kept staring at me like I had two heads.
"McGonagall will know about this," said Zabini, "and perhaps you Mudbluds will both be expelled." Mudblud is a rude word that people like Zabini use for
Muggleborns boys whose dads have jobs like milkman and Jinny told McG that Zabini had said it and McG took ten points from Slytherin for it.
Loona had payed for the clock so we just wanted to leave the shop quickly so we went across the street to a
pub shop called The Hogs Head. Colin was meeting some friends there, we went in and bort ourselves a wizards butter drink a bit like lemonade. And thats what we did for the rest of the afternoon we had this meeting with Colins friends.
The leader of the meeting was Harry Potter weve probly told you about him before hes a v. famous wizard because he defeeted an evil wiz when he was only a baby. And he knows a lot about defeeting evil wizards. Anyway we talked for a long time and there were some v. responsibble students at the Hogs Head, six of them are prefects, and lots of them are on school Quidditch teams, and five of them are seventh-years, already of age and adults. Harry Potter has promised to give me some extra help with my homework so you can expect to see an improovement in my exam marks.
And thats what we did in Hogsmeade. And I stayed with Colin and some of the prefects after the meeting and they walked with me back to school. And every body was v. safe and responsibble.
But just when I was safely back at school again, in the middle of the crowd of responsibble older students, the staff room door opened and there was Prof McG! And my blud froze and my hart dropped to my knees and I felt not safe at all because Prof was furious. And she saw me in the middle of that crowd and said in the Voice of Doom, "Creevey, would you like to explane yourself?"
That meen rotten
bast sneek Blaise Zabini had all ready told McGonagall about me going to Hogsmeade and I was deep in a coldrun of trubble!
But I remembered I’m a Gryff and musnt betray my friends no matter what. So I never said a word about
defence Harry Potter helping with my homework, I only said that I’d been to Hogsmeade and bort stuff there and I showed her the noogars and peppermint toads from Honeydukes and Prof McG consfus confiskit cofniscat took them off me. And that stinking liar Zabini had said I’d been to the Hogs Head and drunk fire wisky and no wonder Prof McG was worrid because I’d never do anything as bad as that. I said thats a lie I only drank butterbeer the lemonade stuff and Prof McG believed me because I’d owned up about everything else and anyway it was the truth. And I told her I’d been with my brothers friends but she didnt ask there names so I didnt have to say anything about the real reason anyone elses bizness.
So thats why I’m in detenshun. Plus I’ve had 50 points taken of Gryffindor for being out of bounds. And this letter is
my punnishment to explane myself to you. And I hope its long enough because its about as long as four normal essays. And I am very sorry I broke the rules but it was worth it because now I will be safe get v. high marks.
Colin likes the apricot yoggurt best, can you please send in also a pot of apricot yoggurt for him? And the house elfs say they will do there best to grow us some.
With love from your son,