A/N: I have to admit this chapter was a little weird...just know the others aren't like this at all! I would really like to thank my beta reader: Pirate.Queen. Thank you so much! Your edits made a world of difference and made the story sound so much better! I would also like to thank my friend, Ainslee, the first to read it. Thank you so much Pirate.Queen and Ainslee! Your help is greatly appreciated.

Trapped in Mind’s Prison-

Chapter 1 Fabric of the Guilt

“"If you made a better rat than a human, that's not much to boast about."-Sirius Black- POA; talking to Pettigrew (Quote gotten from www.)mugglenet.com

Her smile. A magnificent aura of warmth and kindness that lights the Earth with a single touch. Or it did, but not any more. Now she was gone, taking his best friend and literally his life with her. Gone and never coming back. They both were; he would never see them again.

A million questions fought for domination. His mind was struggling to hold on, his grief encircling him in fog that was ever so slowly choking him. He was never safe. The night brought him terrors that most don’t face in a lifetime; the sun brought him realization, and when it struck it hit him with such force that made him sick. This was his entire fault.

No, he hadn’t pointed a wand at them, or told Voldemort where they were hiding, no nothing like that, but he was as much to blame as Voldemort for their deaths. It was he who convinced them, no, begged, them to change Secret-Keepers.

“Less obvious” he had said “No-one would ever have to know”, it would be their secret. A secret. The secret that landed him here in this god-forsaken place, turned his friends against him, and lost so many lives. In reality, many would say only two people had died, but they were wrong, how wrong they were. Remus was dead, he had lost all his friends and had no where to go. Harry. He gripped his knees tighter. He had killed Harry; denied him his parents, his bright future, a chance at a normal life with a normal family. And Peter. A dog-like snarl escaped his lips. Truth be told, Peter no longer was a friend to Sirius, nor did he seem much like a person. “A better rat than a person.” Sirius thought with vengeance. It was painful to think of Peter, so it was better to think of Peter as dead.  

It was a nightmare, a true night terror, the things that dance in his sleepless nights and haunting his days. Yes it seemed like a nightmare, but it was real. As real as the trickling of the rain outside the cold stone walls, as real as the tears forming in the corners of his eyes and slipping, hardly noticed, down his dirt caked cheek. This was as real as the pain that was coming and that had been. It was as real as the confusion and blinding pain that was the present. It was as real as the air he breathed, and it was also as real as the hysterical laugh that now escaped his lips.

At first, it was a mere chuckle, quiet and barely audible, then it grew with ease into a full rasping laugh, the kind he used to laugh when James showed off in front of Lily and failed miserably. Though this wasn’t like those times, those times were gone, dead in the past. With this thought, it grew louder and louder, until the walls taunted his pain back at him.

 “SHUT UP, YOU CRACKPOT! WE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!” a bellow echoed from a cell, not far from his own.

Yes, they would call him insane, but if they knew anything, anything at all, of the pain that owned him, they would-still call him insane. But a new thought came to Sirius. He didn’t care anymore if they thought he was insane. He didn’t care anymore that they thought he was insane for shoving some of the grief out through laughter. Their thoughts on his mind didn’t touch him, nothing could, all that mattered was that James and Lily were dead, and it was his fault.

A cold feeling spread through the interior of his mind and made his laughter cease. Thoughts of his past rolled their way back into him. The terrors of his past life ran into a jumble, screaming out for attention, all leading up to the deaths of two of his best friends. The pain consumed him, and he knew no more.

Her smile. A magnificent aura of warmth and kindness that lights the Earth with a single touch that would now light the Heavens.

A/N: I got the quote "If you made a better rat than a human, that's not much to boast about.” from Mugglenet.com although originally it came from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban