Disclaimer: I am not JKR blah blah
blah… these are not my characters yadda
yadda yadda... if you
thought they were then you’ve probably been dropped on your head as a baby and
we won’t hold that kind of trauma against you. Enjoy the fic!
A Foray Into The Department of
Chapter 1: Lunacy
He was staring at the purple parchment, neatly folded into a
dragon, on his desk. He was still quite unsure what to make of it. For all he
knew it was another whimsical Weasley creation – a howler
perhaps. Fortunately the paper dragon didn’t seem to be spouting flames…so far.
Hedwig was precisely as thrilled as Harry about the new
arrival when she dropped it disdainfully from her beak onto the overrun desk.
She departed for hunting immediately without so much as her usual affectionate
nip on the ear; clearly conveying her contempt of the packet’s utter lunacy.
Harry had to give Hedwig a soft chuckle, “This from the bird that carries dead
things around in her mouth all day.”
Shaking his head Harry sighed and picked up the paper
dragon. Immediately the dragon’s paper wings folded smoothly down onto the palm
of his hand.
The parchment was blank.
Harry eyed the empty parchment quizzically for a moment. He
reached for a revealer and began to smudge it on the purple parchment in
various places. Nothing.
“Specialis Revalio,” he
tried. Still no good.
Harry sat back in his chair eyeing the flattened parchment
wondering what kind of lunatic would send him a paper dragon that didn’t say
He touched the tip of his wand to the center of the
parchment, “Luna Lovegood” he incanted. Slowly a
silver looped script spread across the page.
I know it’s not your birthday for another couple of weeks, but I’d like
to invite you on a very special expedition I’m sure you’ll love. Father has
agreed to let you tag along for the day so long as you swear the whereabouts
and activities of the expedition to secrecy. I assured him you were safer than
the Atlantic Gold guarded by the Tribera of Isantagua. We will be picking you up on the 24th
of July at precisely 5:13pm in the evening. Father is always punctual. Please
send your reply via dragon at your earliest convenience.
May Bouldewad Always Look Over You,
P.S. Wear comfortable shoes.
Leave it to Luna to ask for a reply ‘via dragon’. Harry
didn’t know if he wanted to spend an entire day with the Lovegoods
on their idea of a “special expedition”. He figured it would be awkward or
entail an Apparition to the Himalayas for a chance encounter
with whatever fantasy creature they were chasing this month. Then again, Luna
had always been kind to him, believed in him, and even risked her life for him
during fifth year. The least he could do was spend the day with her indulging
her foray into the fantastic. Besides, spending a week at a Malfoy
family reunion looked better than Privet Drive
right about now.
Harry shrugged his shoulders, “Well, I guess it couldn’t
Instantly the parchment folded itself into its previous
shape and flew out the window. Harry watched the ridiculous envelope flap away
and wondered, as always, what lay in store for him.
At precisely 5:13 on the evening of July 24th
Harry heard a crack in the living room followed by choking, shrieking, and what
he thought were inarticulate death threats.
“NO SENSE OF PROPRIETY-“
“Who do these freaks
think they are?”
“I WILL STRAP THAT BOY SO HARD HE WON’T BE ABLE TO SIT FOR A
“Yes, Uncle Vernon?”
Harry inquired politely, as if he hadn’t the faintest notion as to why he’d
“YOU HAVE TRIED MY PATIENCE FOR TOO LONG BOY. I AM COUNTING
THE MINUTES TIL I CAN THROW YOU OUT OF THE DOOR WITH MY BARE HANDS. HOW DO YOU
EXPLAIN-” Uncle Vernon’s face seemed to contort with the effort of choosing a word
strong enough to classify the objects before him. “THESE?” He gesticulated
violently towards the two figures in the living room.
“The Lovegoods?” Harry inquired
innocently “They’re among the most respected wizarding
families in England.
Mr. Lovegood is an editor who stops at nothing to
uncover truth and justice, and Luna was sorted into the smartest house in
Luna smiled, waving dreamily at Harry, unaware of the
commotion she had instigated. Harry returned her smile, privately relishing the
effects her butterbeer cork jewelry and ear-holstered
wand were creating on the Dursleys.
Aunt Petunia looked as if she highly doubted these
qualifications while Uncle Vernon gained confirmation of what he had suspected
all along: That this really was the epitome
of the wizarding world.
“Well, we must be off, Harry.” Mr. Lovegood
called tapping his watch with his wand.
“Right,” replied Harry, working hard to keep his features
composed while the man rolled up a checkered robe sleeve. “It’ll be side-along Apparition
for you and Luna this evening, just to be safe.” Harry nodded politely.
“Harry,” Luna interjected languorously, “Those shoes will do
With a genuinely cheerful grin and an enthusiastic wave
goodbye to the Dursleys, the three of them turned on
the spot and vanished into thin air.
“What kind of a name is Lovegood, anway?” Aunt Petunia spat at Uncle Vernon. “It isn’t even
proper grammar!” she sniffled, sticking her nose in the air.