Peace, Calm, Tranquility
Author’s note: After reading Fred’s death, I found myself
mourning the loss of not simply Fred, but Fred and George. I used this fanfic as a way to explain how I
felt about this death and hope I did the characters justice. Thanks to Zsenya for being my beta and to my
flist for the help.
Alone. So utterly alone. Empty, helpless, incompletely alone. Standing in an empty, dark cavern, the sound of the silence
bearing down on him as he walked, a child in the void, the silence louder than
his faltering footsteps, which echoed horribly into the emptiness.
“…can’t be gone, feel his pulse, you can’t have checked it
right…”
“…wouldn’t have actually done it, they couldn’t have killed
Fred, not our Fred…”
“…didn’t even realize it was happening…”
“…died laughing…”
The waves of the ocean crashed against the walls of the
cave, the water washing up against his feet and soothing the pain that he
hadn’t even realized was there. His
hands moved up and down his body as he felt the cuts and bruises that covered
every inch of his skin. The darkness of
the cave seemed to crush in on him as the continuing sound of the waves echoed
through his mind.
*
“Fred, you’re next.”
“I’m not Fred, I’m
George. Honestly, woman, you call
yourself our mother? Can’t you tell I’m George?”
“Sorry, George, dear.”
“Only joking, I am Fred.”
*
Empty. Like a hunger pain, but one that could not
be cured with a shot of firewhisky and a loaf of bread. Something in him growled for comfort, but
nothing would comfort him, not the weak smiles of his siblings, or the pained
sobs of his mother. Nothing, nothing
would comfort him but for the boy next to him to jump up and laugh at them for
believing his silly joke. But it wasn’t
a silly joke, for the boy was not moving, he was not even smiling. He always smiled, except in Potions exams…
“…have to get the others
to St. Mungo’s…”
“…Harry’s gone, can’t find
him…”
“…leave Fred here, we just
can’t!”
“…George…”
There was a light somewhere nearby. He turned to follow it, and the sounds of
the crashing waves grew quieter. The
water was warmer here, almost pleasant.
But the raw, gnawing feeling of emptiness continued in him even as he
followed the light that was to make him lose all sense of reality…
*
“Make way for the Heir of
Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through…”
“It is not a laughing matter.”
“Oh, get out of the way,
Percy. Harry’s in a hurry.”
“Yeah, he’s off to the
Chamber of Secrets for a cup of tea with his fanged servant.”
*
Couldn’t go on like this,
couldn’t continue. How to breathe,
even, how to exist without the other half, without the half that knew all the
answers and gave all the laughs?
Without the other half, he was an incomplete set: a Bludger without a
Beater; a Keeper without hoops. How to
live, how to move on from this moment, to stand even was too painful, to leave
this body, this face that was so familiar it was as if he was looking in a
mirror.
“…got to go, can’t stay…”
“…George, have to leave…”
“…isn’t safe, they’ll be
here any minute…”
“…do with the body…”
The light grew stronger, and the water grew warmer, until
it was almost too hot to stand. But the
light fascinated him, like the light of a wand that could never be put out, a Lumos that had no Nox. He’d have to speak
to George about that, how to make a light stay that bright…except George
wouldn’t understand this light…George couldn’t know this light…not yet…
*
“What’s that supposed to
be?”
“This, Harry, is the
secret of our success.”
“It’s a wrench, giving it
to you, but we decided last night your need’s greater than ours.”
“Anyway, we know it by
heart. We bequeath it to you. We don’t need it anymore.”
*
Standing up, picking up
his feet, leaving the body there for just a moment. He’d be back, be back to stare into the empty face and wonder why
they had been touched. But now was not
the moment for that; now was the moment to fight, to find an answer in revenge
for his brother, partner, best friend’s unfair death. He stood and followed his family from the bodies, toward the
Death Eaters, toward battle, not caring if he lived or died, if he followed the
living or the dead.
“…that Harry?”
“…no, no, not Harry…”
“…can’t be true, can’t be
real, can’t have died…”
“…no hope…”
An echo. He
stopped for a moment, the silence overwhelming. A whisper, a call? But
who? The light faded in his eyes for a
moment, and the sound of the water was too distant to hear. Who had called? He stayed still for a moment, wondering, hoping, dreading, but
hearing nothing, continued on his way.
*
“-that’s blackmail, that
is, we could get into a lot of trouble for that-”
“-we’ve tried being
polite; it’s time to play dirty, like him.
He wouldn’t like the Ministry of Magic knowing what he did-”
“I’m telling you, if you
put that in writing, it’s blackmail!”
“Yeah, and you won’t be
complaining if we get a nice fat payoff, will you?”
*
Defeat Voldemort. Defend Harry. Fight. Revenge. Blood pounding in the brain, words running
through the head, Fred, Fred gone.
People running, scattering, curses, killing. Screaming, someone was screaming. Death Eaters, giants, spiders everywhere, humans running in all
directions. Wand out, ready to
fight. Friends at his side, shooting
spells at anything that glared at him, anyone who turned a wand in his
direction.
“…out of my way!”
“…move, Ginny, move!”
“…AVADA…”
“NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU
BITCH!”
There were voices in the distance, murmurs in the back,
but they disappeared quickly, choosing a different way, not wanting his
way. The light grew stronger still, and
the water seemed to whisper to him, go on, move on, keep moving. Too late to go back; too late to change
course. The whisper from above had long
vanished, and so he continued to walk, his feet bare on the bottom of the cave,
following the light that had no end.
*
“George, I think we’ve
outgrown full-time education.”
“Yeah, I’ve been feeling
that way myself.”
“Time to test our talents
in the real world, d’you reckon?”
“Definitely.”
*
Not knowing what to do,
running, running, running. Shouting at
others, his mind back with Fred, needing to fight for him, wanting to fight
with him. Curses shouted, blocked,
avoided. Confusion everywhere,
chaos. Battle ending, people
running. A voice in the distance, a
familiar voice shouting to them.
“…don’t want anyone to try
to help…”
“…can he say that, course
we’ll help…”
“…not want us to get hurt,
but it’s too late…”
“…he survive it again?”
A ripple in the water this time, a ripple from far
above. But no time to stop, no time to
wonder who it was. The silence, the warmth,
they called him, as if his name was in them somehow. This place was where he had always been destined to visit, to
pass through. This place had waited for
centuries for this moment, and there was no time to stop and wait. Not now, not here.
*
“…meanwhile, we can enjoy
watching you demonstrate the correct use of a – whoops-a-daisy!”
“You made me do that! You wait, when I’m seventeen-”
“I’m sure you’ll dazzle us
all with hitherto unsuspected skills, Ronald.”
*
Harry, Harry not
dead. Harry alive and running, running
toward Voldemort, toward certain death.
Or certain life. Talking,
yelling, confusion. Hissing at him,
mocking him. Curses shouted, lights and
bangs. Spells colliding, eyes
watching. Then…dead, dead at last. You-Know-Who, The Dark Lord, Voldemort, Tom
Riddle, dead in all certainty, dead like a human, dead like Fred. Fred, who still lay in the Great Hall, his
eyes unseeing, mouth open in a grin for a joke unfinished. Fred, who would never know the end of it
all, who would walk beyond and never return.
Fred, his brother whom he had loved and would miss, but would learn to
live without, survive without, be
without. Fred.
“…over, finally over…”
“…rest, go home, have some
tea…”
“…Lupin and Tonks, can’t
believe it…”
“…Fred, too. And George, poor George…”
White taking over as he left the cave behind, the warm
water flowing over his body as the silence wrapped around him like one of Mum’s
warm blankets.
“Hello, Minister! Did I mention I’m resigning?”
“You’re joking, Perce! You are joking,
Percy….I don’t think I’ve heard you joke since you were-”
Peace, calm, tranquility, and everlasting satisfaction as
a smile crossed his face for one last time.