A/N: This is the first in a series of songfics set around songs I
have been listening to in my car on my daily commute. This one is set
to O-Town's All or Nothing. Don't diss my taste in music. *giggle*.
I know when he's been on your mind
That distant look is in your eyes
Viktor sat in his room in the north tower of his parents' drafty old
house. Some people would call it a castle, but it never served any protective
purpose and didn't deserve that title. He was supposed to be packing -
the Bulgarian national team was leaving in only a few hours for a publicity
tour of Southeastern Asia, and he wasn't exactly ready to leave.
He sighed. He'd have to do it now, or wait a month. His teammates wouldn't
leave him alone long enough to write this kind of letter, and he had to
do it. It had to be done.
Dear Hermione,
he began in his tidy script.
I hope you are doing very well.
We have had no news from England in a few days and I hope you are alright.
The Dark Lord's supporters are very active in this part of the world.
I am almost glad that I am leaving for the tour soon as I feel very threatened
here. But then it will take me a week to get an owl from you, rather than
only two days.
But this is not why I am writing.
I am writing because I must ask you a question. Since your visit in July,
Here he paused, remembering. Hermione had come to Bulgaria with her parents,
but only for three days during their journey to Moscow on holiday. Her
parents were very nice, but… he sighed. He'd not been able to get her
alone, even for a moment, and he had realized then that he loved her.
It had taken more than two months to get up the courage to write this
letter. He continued,
I have been wondering how to
ask you this. I have to know. Sometimes when you look at me you make me
feel like I am the only man in the world. And there are other times, when
I see a look in your eyes that I do not like. Please tell me, me Hermione,
is there someone else? I know it is not Harry Potter. Could there be another?
He paused again. Viktor was certain that he'd seen the same look in Hermione's
eyes that he had worn himself, thinking of her. Who was she thinking of?
He'd driven himself nearly mad, wondering. Him? Or someone else?
There are time it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart but I don't show
it
Then there's times you look at me
As though I'm all that you could see
Those times I don't believe it's right
I know it
But
I love you. I do not want to share your love. I have had half your attention
this year. I can't imagine what it would be like to have it all. Our relationship
is very important to me.
You know I'd fight for you
but how could I fight someone who isn't
even there?
I've had the rest of you
now I want the best of you
I don't care if that's not fair
Cuz I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
What I am asking you is whether
you love me like I love you. I cannot bear to love you like this if you
love another. And if you do I would like us to be friends. I cannot be
your boyfriend in name only. I want your love as well. If that is not
fair, I am sorry. I cannot continue as we have begun.
I must leave this letter here
as I must pack and leave for the national team field before I am late
for the Portkey to Japan. I will be in Japan for five days, and so by
the time you might wish to send a reply I will be in China. I will be
in China for one week, and then I will go to Vietnam, Thailand, and Korea
for three days each. Finally we will go to Taiwan for one week to practice
for the Cup qualifier we play against them in one month's time. Please
send your reply with Ivor.
I love you.
Viktor
Viktor gave the letter over to his Sooty Owl, an Australian bird he'd
been given when he made the Bulgarian team. He wondered whether Hermione
would even answer his letter. He'd never poured his heart out like that,
not to anyone, but he certainly trusted her with it. She wouldn't deliberately
hurt anyone.
Viktor opened his window, and Ivor flew high into the sky before circling
around to fly westward, toward Scotland.
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all
He closed the window, picked up his wand, and began to direct his things
into his traveling trunk.
