The Sugar Quill
Author: Doctor Aicha (Professors' Bookshelf)  Story: R/H Songfics  Chapter: Chapter One: All or Nothing
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A/N: This is the first in a series of songfics set around songs I have been listening to in my car on my daily commute. This one is set to O-Town's All or Nothing. Don't diss my taste in music. *giggle*.


I know when he's been on your mind

That distant look is in your eyes

Viktor sat in his room in the north tower of his parents' drafty old house. Some people would call it a castle, but it never served any protective purpose and didn't deserve that title. He was supposed to be packing - the Bulgarian national team was leaving in only a few hours for a publicity tour of Southeastern Asia, and he wasn't exactly ready to leave.

He sighed. He'd have to do it now, or wait a month. His teammates wouldn't leave him alone long enough to write this kind of letter, and he had to do it. It had to be done.

Dear Hermione, he began in his tidy script.

I hope you are doing very well. We have had no news from England in a few days and I hope you are alright. The Dark Lord's supporters are very active in this part of the world. I am almost glad that I am leaving for the tour soon as I feel very threatened here. But then it will take me a week to get an owl from you, rather than only two days.

But this is not why I am writing. I am writing because I must ask you a question. Since your visit in July,

Here he paused, remembering. Hermione had come to Bulgaria with her parents, but only for three days during their journey to Moscow on holiday. Her parents were very nice, butů he sighed. He'd not been able to get her alone, even for a moment, and he had realized then that he loved her. It had taken more than two months to get up the courage to write this letter. He continued,

I have been wondering how to ask you this. I have to know. Sometimes when you look at me you make me feel like I am the only man in the world. And there are other times, when I see a look in your eyes that I do not like. Please tell me, me Hermione, is there someone else? I know it is not Harry Potter. Could there be another?

He paused again. Viktor was certain that he'd seen the same look in Hermione's eyes that he had worn himself, thinking of her. Who was she thinking of? He'd driven himself nearly mad, wondering. Him? Or someone else?

There are time it seems to me

I'm sharing you with memories

I feel it in my heart but I don't show it

Then there's times you look at me

As though I'm all that you could see

Those times I don't believe it's right I know it

But I love you. I do not want to share your love. I have had half your attention this year. I can't imagine what it would be like to have it all. Our relationship is very important to me.

You know I'd fight for you

but how could I fight someone who isn't even there?

I've had the rest of you

now I want the best of you

I don't care if that's not fair

Cuz I want it all

Or nothing at all

There's nowhere left to fall

When you reach the bottom it's now or never

What I am asking you is whether you love me like I love you. I cannot bear to love you like this if you love another. And if you do I would like us to be friends. I cannot be your boyfriend in name only. I want your love as well. If that is not fair, I am sorry. I cannot continue as we have begun.

I must leave this letter here as I must pack and leave for the national team field before I am late for the Portkey to Japan. I will be in Japan for five days, and so by the time you might wish to send a reply I will be in China. I will be in China for one week, and then I will go to Vietnam, Thailand, and Korea for three days each. Finally we will go to Taiwan for one week to practice for the Cup qualifier we play against them in one month's time. Please send your reply with Ivor.

I love you.



Viktor gave the letter over to his Sooty Owl, an Australian bird he'd been given when he made the Bulgarian team. He wondered whether Hermione would even answer his letter. He'd never poured his heart out like that, not to anyone, but he certainly trusted her with it. She wouldn't deliberately hurt anyone.

Viktor opened his window, and Ivor flew high into the sky before circling around to fly westward, toward Scotland.

Is it all

Or are we just friends

Is this how it ends

With a simple telephone call

You leave me here with nothing at all

He closed the window, picked up his wand, and began to direct his things into his traveling trunk.

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