DISCLAIMER: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter series or its characters.
They belong to J.K. Rowling, a person I would love to know (despite the
fact that we would have nothing to say to one another ^^;). All comments
are welcome, as always.
I hate shadows. Not in the sense that I hate their existence (that would
be stupid), but in the sense that I hate what they do. Shadows shadow.
That's it; there's nothing else to it. It's a pointless and a predictable
cycle. Shadows are dispensable and recyclable - just turn on a light and
they disappear. Want it back? No problem; even with the light on you're
bound to find one somewhere.
Shadows echo the form of their owner and are always with them, yet they're
never noticed unless you're looking for one. In a way, shadows are the
ideal companions: you're rarely without one; you can't get into arguments
with one - hell, they don't even have mouths; you don't have to worry
about them finding a better companion than you do. Better yet, they won't
move unless you do, and they don't get upset about the fact that you're
always walking over them.
I'm not a shadow. But I know what it feels like to be one. I know what
it's like to feel as though you're constantly being stepped on, always
having to follow someone else's lead. I know what it's like to be wishing
that suddenly one day the shade of someone's shadow will not fall onto
me and hide me.
I know I'm nowhere near as brilliant as Hermione - probably because I
gave up on the idea of being the Academic One in the family after Bill
and then Percy made Head Boy - and I'm not the star Quidditch player like
Charlie. Nor am I famous like Harry, unless you count being pointed out
as so-and-so's little brother and Arthur Weasley's son, which I don't.
Bill was Head Boy, Charlie was a Quidditch player, Percy was (unfortunately)
also Head Boy - so that scene's totally played out - and Fred and George
are comedic geniuses. There's absolutely nothing I can excel at that someone
else hasn't done first.
I worry about Ginny, because if I'm having a rough time with this, how
on earth is she going to manage? But maybe her position as the only girl
in the family is her niche. I certainly can't compete in that department.
None of it is any of their faults, I know, and deep down I don't blame
them. What would I blame them for? They haven't done anything wrong. No
matter how guilty I feel, this is the silly, idiotic truth: I'm resentful
of people who are genuinely good at something, worse yet, my own brothers
and my best friends. I hate the feeling and I try to clear it out of my
head, even though I know it haunts the corners of my mind.
Maybe if I find something I can do, my own thing I can be good at, I
can finally stop feeling as though everyone got a talent when they were
born, yet somehow it skipped me.
So what have I got to offer?
I'm no World Cup Seeker for Bulgaria, like some qualified loser I know,
who is famous and rich and a slimy overgrown rat. I am just myself, Ronald
Weasley, an average student at Hogwarts School who is overly tall, with
too many freckles but not enough cash.
"Person who hides under a shadow" does not fit into that description.
Maybe I'll be a world-famous chess player someday. Maybe I'll join a
Quidditch team and tour worldwide. Or maybe I'll even become an Auror
(as impossible as that may sound).
Whichever way I turn up in the future, maybe I'll have made some of my
own choices for my life, my own decisions I can be proud of. And then
I'll be able to step out of the shade to join my friends in the sunshine.
~ End ~
Yes, it's short. Yes, it doesn't require much thought. But then again,
I don't think Ron's everyday thoughts are too complex. ^_^ And I kind
of like the simplicity of it.
This was my first Harry Potter fanfic and my first attempt at a vignette,
which is funny since I've heard that some people begin with vignettes
and then work their way from there
Began: June 21, 2001
Completed: July 17, 2001