The Sugar Quill
Author: Durayan (Professors' Bookshelf)  Story: Magical Hair Police  Chapter: Default
The distribution of this story is for personal use only. Any other form of distribution is prohibited without the consent of the author.


Disclaimer: This is the result of discussion with
Thing1, the author of several excellent Lupinfics,
over the length of Lupin's hair, and much of what
little sense there is to this piece requires reading
her stuff first.

Remus: Is this really necessary?

Xtine: Absolutely. You read my character file on you.

Remus: Yes, but-there's really no reason you couldn't change it if you wanted, is there?

Xtine: Why on earth would I change it? It's consistent with the character as a whole. You know, the whole "tightly controlled" persona-the tragic character that totally loses himself once a month to the wolf and compensates by being in ultra-control the rest of the time. It's a very dynamic psychological process in your character and shows up all through-you know-the utter cool you project, your neat hand writing, the way you fold your socks in the drawers....

Remus: You've been in my drawers?????

Xtine: Turn around. Sit up straight. You don't want this to turn out crooked, do you?

Remus: I really wish you wouldn't do this. It makes my ears look too big...especially close to the full moon.

Xtine: Nonsense. Your ears look fine. You are just too self-conscious.

Remus: Does Katie know you are doing this?

Xtine: Who do you think provided my the pictures out of "Witch Weekly" of what she wanted this haircut to look like? Of course she knows.

Remus: (wistfully) I always thought she liked the long hair.

Xtine: Well, yes, and you probably think she likes the way you leave your chew toys all around the house.

Remus: OW!!! Careful!!!

Xtine: Sorry-it's just that your ears are so big, they are a bit hard to cut around.

Remus: Are you sure you know what you are doing?

Xtine: Of course! I've seen this done loads of times!

Remus: Can't you leave it long in the back? You know how I hate to have scars showing...

Xtine: Certainly not! That style went out in the eighties. But I see what you mean-that's a rather vicious scar there, on the back of your neck. Is that from the wolf?

Remus: No, that one is Sirius' fault. I got that scar and my first ever detention that night. And my first howler the next day, as I recall-it would not do to remind Sirius of that night. Katie doesn't know, and I am not sure Padfoot could resist filling her in on the sordid details. So, if you wouldn't mind, leave the hair a bit long back there? Please?

Xtine: Too late. You could wear a scarf for a couple of weeks until your hair is long enough to cover it.

Remus: But it's summer.

Xtine: Yes. Well. You shouldn't be keeping things from Katie anyway.

Remus: I really wish you would reconsider the hair thing. I've worn it long for most of my adult life.

Xtine: Look, Buddy: I have been really REALLY good to you-I've given you Katie, the love of your life (and one of the best characters I've ever invented if I do say so myself). I've given you three wonderful children. I've even given you back your best friend. I don't think I am asking way too much her for you to have "short hair cut neatly, with soft bangs falling on your forehead which can end up sticking out in all directions after a long day of work as you tend to slump over the desk with your head in your hand, especially if you are tired".

Remus: Well, of course I am grateful for all you have done for's just that I really rather like having my hair down around my shoulders. I like the way Katie plays with it...

Xtine: Look. The hair is cut. Period. If you give me any more grief about it, you will be sorry. Do the words "Slash" and "Severus Snape" have any meaning for you?

Remus: You wouldn't...

Xtine: Don't tempt me.



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