JKR's characters and world. Sorry for what I'm doing to them, but
it was all written for fun andI hope you have a good giggle J
It'd never happen in real life ~ no one could be so unlucky! Note: This
fic is rated "R" for adult themes.
A/N: This is the first real collaborative effort between Imogen and Firebolt909.
It came about through many IMs, much giggling, a bit of tweaking
here and there, in between Imogen asking Firebolt909 what exactly she
planned to do with the rest of the story and Firebolt909 replying Ill
know when I write it! Rons voices appear courtesy of Firebolt909
and the naughty poems appear courtesy of Imogen and the world and characters
are JKR's. Thanks to Thing1 for the idea of sweating books and to D.H
Lawrence for inspiring the sex scene. No socks were stolen during the
making of this story.
Continued from Socks,
Sex and Snape
They went up the astronomy tower
For some solitude, more than an hour.
A passionate kiss
Leads to sheer bliss
When a young maiden's deflowered.
Harry circled the goalposts, the wind whipping through his hair making
him feel alive once more, despite a distinct lack of sleep the previous
night. The weather was becoming warmer now, leaves shooting forth as far
as the eye could see and covering the greyish boughs of winter with new
life. He glanced briefly over at Ron, who caught his eye and then looked
quickly away. Harry sighed, and with a heavy heart descended to discuss
the new manoeuvre with his Chasers. Ron had barely spoken to him since
Snape had discovered his socks in one of the library study rooms a few
nights before. To a large extent, Harry couldn’t blame him for feeling
like this. Ron’s detention was to be served this evening, in fact, and
Harry knew without a doubt that Snape would make it as unpleasant as humanly
possible. Ginny had tried to talk to Snape, to admit that it was her fault,
but this had only made matters worse.
Over the past two years, Ron had become very used to seeing his little
sister with Harry, and after the initial shock had worn off, he was actually
quite relaxed about the whole thing. There was always the odd comment
to tease, mainly telling Harry to put her down or to watch where his hands
were going, but it was all done in good humour. This was different, though.
Ron was clearly bothered about why Harry and Ginny were down in the library
study rooms in the dead of night, and also what they had been doing for
Ginny to have the socks off her feet in the first place. It didn’t take
a genius to put the two together, and Harry was pretty certain that Ron
had worked out that they were actually now sleeping together. Or, to put
it more accurately, they were trying to.
Hogwarts, as they had discovered, seemed to be the most difficult place
in the world to be alone together. Their first time had been remarkably
easy, mainly because it was Christmas and Ginny had her dormitory to herself.
Despite his initial fears of hurting her, it had been perfect. He could
remember the sheer pleasure of waking up early, feeling her nestled contentedly
in his arms, the warmth of her body pressed against his. The night before
had been beyond anything he could have ever imagined, a sharing of everything
that they were, a giving, as the last barrier between them was removed
with both tenderness and passion. Subsequent efforts, however, had met
with various excruciatingly embarrassing interruptions, which had left
them both bright red, in fits of laughter, and totally frustrated by the
whole thing. Ginny still got the giggles at the very mention of House
Elves, and Harry still couldn’t bring himself to look Snape in the eye
after he’d almost caught them devoid of clothing in the library.
Looking back over the past few weeks, he had to admit they had been remarkably
unlucky, especially that worst time of all when…. Harry blushed fiercely
just thinking about that. Hogwarts was as busy as King’s
Cross Station in the middle of the night, and Harry was starting to think
that they might have a better chance of not being disturbed if they just
went for it right in the middle of the marble staircase. Trying to be
discreet, just didn’t seem to be working. Not that they even had a chance
to do that at the moment. Ron was behaving like one of those nesting mother
dragons at the Triwizard Tournament, desperate to protect Ginny, whatever
the cost. The fact that she didn’t want protecting hadn’t occurred to
him. Every time Harry attempted to go anywhere near her, or slid out of
bed to see her, Ron was there, barricading his way. Various charms were
cast over the dormitory door to stop him leaving during the night, and
more than once he’d been soaked to the skin by cold water magically drenching
him as he reached the doorway. It had certainly cooled his ardour most
effectively, but had definitely not improved his mood.
He swerved to avoid a Bludger, which whistled past his ear, and then
caught sight of a familiar slight figure on the ground heading their way.
Her masses of red hair, glinted in the evening sunlight, and Harry could
only grin as he watched her. Ron, or no Ron, he loved her, they were going
to find an opportunity to be together, and he could definitely kiss her
now. He plunged into a steep dive, heading towards the ground, the crispness
of the air filling his lungs, and clearing his mind. He hurtled further
still, and drew up to a standstill right beside her. Abandoning his Firebolt,
he enveloped her in a massive hug.
"Thought I’d come and see you," she smiled up at him. "I’ve
been missing you."
"Don’t hold your breath," Harry groaned, nodding towards the
place where Ron was descending steadily in their direction. "I still
think he’s about ready to murder us."
"Well, let’s give him good reason to," she giggled impishly,
stretching up to kiss him. The blissful darkness of oblivion swept over
him as their lips met; nothing existed but her. Even Quidditch lay forgotten
in another world.
"Ginny!" Ron’s voice shattered the dream-like state, and they
quickly broke apart.
"Yes?" she said, smiling up at him with a very innocent expression.
"Is there a problem?"
"Yes! Well…no! I mean…yes…" Ron stammered, turning slowly purple.
"What do you mean, Ron," she said icily, her eyes beginning
to narrow dangerously and glitter. "Do you have a problem with Harry
being my boyfriend now? You’re behaving like a complete prat, you know."
"It’s not Harry, it’s just…" he spluttered, clearly out of
"Well, if you don’t have a problem with Harry, leave us alone,"
her voice was steely.
"Fine, then!" he snapped. "Do what you want."
"Oh I will," she grinned wickedly. Then she stretched up to
whisper in Harry’s ear. "Astronomy tower at midnight?"
"Definitely," he said, knowing that it would be the perfect
time for them to abscond, with Ron securely out of the picture.
Ron was up to something, that much was obvious to Harry. He’d been very
quiet all evening, and Harry noticed on several occasions that Ron was
almost smiling in a not-so-friendly sort of way in his direction. This
did not bode well for one who was once again trying to be alone with his
Hermione was sitting next to Ron, her long bushy hair flying about madly
as she ploughed through her homework. She hadn’t been very pleased with
Harry and Ginny herself, and had acted very coolly towards them since
the incident. As the large grandfather clock chimed nine, she looked up
from her History of Magic essay and said, "Ron, you’d better be heading
down to the dungeons. You know what he’ll be like if you’re late."
Snape had made Ron’s detention start at 9:13, using the odd number to
keep Ron on his toes.
"Yeah, I suppose so." Ron glowered at Harry one last time,
before he reluctantly rose from his chair and with a heavy sigh, slouched
off out of the portrait hole to face his doom.
Harry felt awful, he really did, but just the same, he couldn’t help
the little lurch that his heart gave when Ginny came flying down the stairs
in her normal fashion, nothing but a whirlwind of red hair and laughter.
"Hi there!" she said, as she flopped down beside him, and gave
him a quick kiss. She smiled up at him and Harry felt his insides melt
instantly into a puddle on the floor. "Where’s Ron?" It was
the worst thing she could have possibly asked.
"He’s just had to go to detention—the detention that you got him
into!" Hermione snapped, her hazel eyes flashing furiously as she
jabbed her eagle feather quill in Ginny’s direction.
Ginny’s face fell. "I’m really sorry about that and I tried to explain
"Sorry? For nearly getting caught doing—"
"What you and Ron have been doing since last summer," Ginny
retorted, her flaming red hair swirling furiously around her and her eyes
glittering in the candlelight, revealing her to be just as angry as Hermione.
Harry swiftly shuffled back in his seat, not wanting to get involved in
what was promising to be quite a row between the two girls, but yet also
wanting to jump to Ginny’s defense. He blinked suddenly. What had Ginny
just said? Had he heard her right? Surely not.
Hermione flushed a bright red. "Yes," she admitted. "But
we don’t get caught, do we?"
"Only because you have that nice, big bedroom all to yourself as
Head Girl," Ginny shot back, making Hermione turn even redder.
"You’ve been doing what?" Harry stammered, feeling completely
at sea with this new twist in events. He was looking at Hermione like
he’d never seen her before. "With Ron?" he asked in disbelief.
Hermione, who was now almost crimson with embarrassment, sighed and gave
him an exasperated look.
"Of course with Ron," she hissed beneath her breath. "Who
else did you think it was likely to be? The entire Slytherin Quidditch
Harry opened his mouth to say something, but couldn’t. He stared in amazement
at Hermione, not even knowing how to go about registering something as
earth shattering as that news. She tutted angrily and submerged herself
in her essay once more. Ginny immediately sprang up out of her squashy
armchair, grabbed Harry’s arm and pulled him across the room with a force
he’d not thought possible from such a small creature. Crookshanks simply
yawned and stretched in his seat beside his owner, watching their every
move through his intelligent amber eyes.
"It’s not fair," Ginny grumbled, as Harry sat down on the small
sofa behind the dormitory stairs and she wriggled beside him. "We
didn’t mean to get anyone in trouble!"
"They’ve been doing it for how long?" Harry stuttered, his
mind still incredulous about the previous conversation.
"About eight months," Ginny giggled suddenly, twisting in the
seat so that her back was leaning up against Harry. He buried his nose
into the sweet, clean hair that clung to his shoulder. "I bet it
must be nice to not have to worry about house-elves, or teachers, or…or…"
She stopped, and Harry could feel the heat rushing to her cheeks. She
was obviously thinking about that…
Ron Weasley glowered at the mountainous pile of slugs before him, glistening
repulsively in the candlelight. The dungeon was chilly at that time in
the evening, and Ron’s mood deteriorated further with the sight of Snape
leaning back in his chair, reading an essay, with a satisfied smile on
his face. Ron grasped another slug, feeling it squelch and slide beneath
his fingers. Silently, he cursed Ginny and Harry. Detentions with Snape
were bad enough at the best of times, when you’d done something to deserve
it, but to be here because he’d got the blame for them sneaking out to...
to do that... in the library of all places! He shook his
head, in disbelief, and squeezed the slug forcibly, making the eyes shoot
out of their sockets with a satisfying popping noise. He made a mental
note to kill Harry when he got the chance; Harry should have told him
what he was planning with Ginny, and then he could have murdered him earlier
and saved them from all this bother.
Ron heaved a sigh, and seized another slug. Admittedly, his own relationship
with Hermione had developed to a similar point over the summer, but that
was different. They were both eighteen now, and had discussed it through
like the mature adults they were. Ginny, on the other hand, was his little
sister. How could Harry even think about doing anything like that
with her? Ron shuddered.
He was just going to have to stop them, that was all. The water charm
cast over the dormitory door seemed to be doing the trick and preventing
further nocturnal wanderings, although Seamus had been less than impressed
when he had been drenched by it. All Ron needed to do was ensure that
Harry and Ginny didn’t get the opportunity to do anything like that again,
and that shouldn’t be too difficult. Ron suddenly paused, and nodded thoughtfully.
They were going to be up to something tonight whilst he was stuck in detention;
he was certain of it. He knew that mischievous expression on his little
sister’s face all too well, and it had been there when she was talking
to Harry on the Quidditch pitch earlier. There was no question, Ginny
was up to no good, and Harry was involved. Thankfully he had a plan.
"Ginny, will you stop that!" Harry hissed into the starlit
darkness of the Astronomy Tower. The journey from the Gryffindor common
room to the tower had been relatively uneventful, if not completely silent,
due to Ginny’s giggles when they had passed a house-elf who was busy checking
inside a broom cupboard.
"I’m so sorry, Harry," she chuckled, as she pulled him towards
the window and wrapped her arms around him. "But it’s just so funny!
Who would have thought we’d have been reduced to doing this?"
Harry suppressed a smile as he kissed the top of her head. Yes, it was
rather funny, everything they had been through these past few weeks, and
had he felt less frustrated, he probably would have joined in laughing
along with Ginny. However, Harry was getting sick and tired of these near
misses, especially when he had a sneaking suspicion that Ron was now joining
the fates against them. Harry’s mind was also still reeling over Hermione’s
revelation, and it had gradually dawned on him that Ron was acting like
a complete hypocrite. It was enough to make Harry wish that Hermione had
an older brother, preferably one the size of Crabbe and Goyle.
Ginny was trying desperately to choke back her giggles, but was failing
dismally. A single tear of laughter trailed down her cheek as she spluttered
something incoherently about books sweating in fear and paint cans blushing.
"Will you shush!" Harry breathed into her ear, grinning when
he felt her shiver from the sensation. "Or you’ll get us caught this
"Sorry," she whispered, sobering quickly and caressing his
cheek. "I do love you, you know."
"You must," he chuckled, running his fingers gently down her
spine, and feeling her back arch towards him in pleasure. "I can’t
imagine anyone else putting up with all this, just to be with me."
"Well, let’s just make the most of the time we’ve got now,"
she smiled, stretching up to kiss him with her eyes sparkling. "Before
we get interrupted by a tap dancing tribe of goblins."
The kiss drew him in, melting him into her, into blissful darkness. The
warm moisture of her mouth, and her roving hands sparked a tingling fire,
which spread rapidly throughout his body and mind. He was hers: totally
Stars twinkled knowingly beyond the window, and the night air sighed,
stroking the leaves of the Forbidden Forest and making them quiver. The
wind teased at the branches, swirling lightly, then retreating, before
breathing on them once more. Blossom tumbled gently to the earth beneath,
where it lay unnoticed. An owl hooted, breaking the stillness of the night,
the long quavering cry of the manticore responded, echoing across the
grounds. And then there was silence.
Ron grabbed a final handful of slugs and started removing their eyes
into the copper bowl before him, as quickly as he possibly could. When
the last one was taken care of, he looked down at his watch in relief.
Quarter to one in the morning. Sweaty, smelly, and covered in remnants
of slug, Ron crept out into the dungeon hallway, where the single flaming
torch cast eerie light across the stone floor. A pair of lamplight yellow
eyes stopped him dead in his path.
"Hello there, Crookshanks," he said quietly, reaching his hand out to
give Hermione's bandy-legged ginger cat a good scratch behind the ear.
Crookshanks leaned into his hand and purred. Ron and Crookshanks may have
started off on the wrong foot years ago, but they both seemed to get along
much better now, and Ron had a sneaking suspicion that this may well have
to do with their mutual admiration of Hermione.
"How did you get on with your little assignment?" he whispered. Crookshanks
let out what Ron thought of as his version of a meow and circled once
on the spot before hurrying back down the hallway, his bottle-brush tail
held proudly in the air. He led Ron towards the main hallway, up the marble
staircase, and through a maze of shadowy passages, twisting and turning
through the school. Ron followed stealthily, taking care to keep out of
the moonlight and skirted the edges of darkness. His heart beat nervously
against his ribs for fear of coming across Filch or Mrs Norris. Neither,
however, were to be seen.
The final corridor led to the Astronomy Tower, and he suddenly paused
at the foot of the stairs. For the first time, he actually wondered what
he would find when he went up there and it made him blanch slightly. Although
he really wanted revenge, the concept of catching them in flagrante
delicto caused his stomach to churn. He couldn’t imagine anything
worse. Through the heavy silence of the night, he listened in trepidation
for any sound that might give him a hint of what sort of activity was
going on inside before he went any further.
Harry lay on his back, his breathing steadily returning to normal, as
he stared up at the ceiling of the Astronomy tower, watching the bewitched
image of the starry night outside. Constellations glittered clearly through
the infinite ebony depths of the sky, and his eyes wandered idly over
them, and then to Ginny, who was curled up tightly beside him, her head
buried somewhere between his shoulder and the crook of his neck. She made
a tiny snuffling noise, which caused his heart to skip a beat, and a laugh
of sheer delight threatened to explode from within him, for no reason
whatsoever. It was ridiculous the effect she had on him, but he adored
it. A feeling of happiness trickled pleasurably through him, increasing
until it was cascading like a waterfall. Ginny brushed against his cheek,
with a tiny fluttering touch, and he hugged her tightly in his arms loving
the feel of her, her scent, and even the taste of her kisses which seemed
to be indelibly imprinted upon his lips.
"I could just lie here forever," she whispered, staring up
at the stars above their heads. "This is wonderful."
"Schedar’s bright tonight," Harry observed, agreeing with her
wholeheartedly. He kissed the top of her head gently. "Must mean
something good. I’ve not seen any house elves since we got here."
"That’s my constellation," she chuckled gently.
"Yours?" he asked in amusement, shifting a little so he could
see her face.
"Yeah," she smiled contentedly. "Cassiopeia. You know,
when I was little my dad used to show me those stars, and tell me the
‘W’ was for Weasley."
"Well isn’t it?" Harry teased her gently.
"Of course it is," she smiled. "Dad always told me the
story of those stars too. He used to tease me so much, saying I’d turn
out just like Cassiopeia did and be really proud of how I looked, thinking
I was even more beautiful than the Nereids." She paused and giggled.
"Hardly likely, is it? Not with this red hair and all my freckles.
Anyway, poor old Cassiopeia’s got her punishment. You can see her there
in her chair, hanging upside down for most of the year."
"Ginny Weasley," he said sternly, kissing the tip of her nose,
and reassuring the very same freckles she’d just offended. "Those
Nereids haven’t got a look in."
"Flatterer," she giggled, and stared thoughtfully back up at
the stars. "Which one’s Ursa Major again? I can never find it without
my text book."
Ron paused awkwardly beside the door to the Astronomy classroom, Crookshanks
winding in and out of his legs, threatening to trip him up with affection.
He frowned slightly wondering what it was that made him feel like he was
totally in the wrong by being here. Perhaps he was being a bit high-handed
where Ginny was concerned. Even a blind man could see how much in love
Harry and Ginny were, and Ron knew first hand how much it had cost them
to be together. Maybe he should just go back to the common room and let
Harry and Ginny owe him one for the detention. They could name their firstborn
after him. Ron felt himself reddening at the prospect, and sincerely hoped
that particular happy event was a good way off on the horizon.
He was about to leave the landing when he heard their voices, talking
quietly, and he edged anxiously back to the doorway, listening intently
to what they had to say.
"You know," he heard his sister’s soft voice say thoughtfully.
"I’ve never really thought about how these things fit together before."
Please don’t let my baby sister be talking about what I think she’s
"Look here," Harry’s voice responded to her. "See how
it goes up, right there. Try tracing it with your finger."
He’d better be showing her how to sketch or something. Yes,
I’ll just wrap that thought around me like a warm blanket.
"I’ve never looked at it like this before," she said, with
a little giggle. "Show me again."
"It’s easy when you know what you’re looking for," Harry replied.
"Use that point right there to guide your way. That’s it."
I’m going to murder Harry with my bare hands.
"Got it!" Ginny squealed with delight.
Ron didn’t stop to think; in fact, he was relying on gut instinct and
fury. He burst into the Astronomy Tower with his wand out, shouting, "WHAT
IN HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" It would have been funny to see Harry
and Ginny leap up, turn, and yelp in unison. However, Ron wasn’t laughing
at the moment. He surveyed the scene.
Harry went totally white, and needed only a ruff around his neck to look
like Nearly Headless Nick, the Gryffindor ghost. His hair, which was normally
so untidy, stuck out at even odder angles, and his glasses rested crookedly
on his nose. Ginny turned as white as Harry had, then slowly her skin
took on a very dark reddish hue, from the very tips of her ears, right
down to where her neck met the dark wool of her rather rumpled Hogwarts
Well, at least they’re clothed. Thank God for small things.
"Ron! What are you doing here?" she asked, in a deceptively
"Me?" Ron was far too furious to take any notice of her. "Me?
Don’t try and blame me for this. What are you doing here?"
"Is this because of the socks?" Harry asked, the whiteness
of his demeanour now mottled with splodges of angry red.
Socks?!? You are…doing…stuff with my sister and I’m supposed to be
mad about socks!
"It’s not just that," Ron snapped. "I knew you two would
be out tonight, doing something... something like this."
"Something like what, Ron?" said Ginny, her voice rising in
anger with each word she spoke. "We’re merely up in the Astronomy
Tower, discussing constellations. As if that’s any of your business!"
Yeah right. Is that what they’re calling it these days?
"Yeah, constellations. That’s right," Ron retorted scornfully.
"I heard you Gin."
"Heard what exactly?" Her voice cut through the air, sharp
as a knife. Ron knew that tone well, and flinched slightly. Ginny’s temper
was savage, and he’d been on the receiving end of it before. She took
no prisoners when she was in a mood like this.
Hmmm. Perhaps a different tactic would be wise.
"Er…" Ron faltered, heat flooding his face as he recollected
the conversation. "How…um…things fit together." He saw his sister
and his best friend exchange puzzled glances. "Oh for heavens sakes!"
he yelled at them. "I’m not stupid you know."
"You’re doing a pretty good impression of it from what I can see,"
Ginny retorted bitterly. "Harry was showing me Ursa Major."
"I’m sure that wasn’t all he was showing you," Ron spat back,
before he could stop himself.
"WHAT?" Ginny shrieked. Ron saw Harry put his arm around her
to calm her, but the sight of him holding her merely added fuel to the
fire. He was so comfortable in the way he touched her, seemed to know
his way around her body so easily.
"Tracing things with your finger, Ginny?" he reminded her,
of what he’d overheard. He watched her carefully, and was delighted to
see realisation slowly dawning across her face. She glanced up at Harry
and, to Ron’s amazement, both of them began to chuckle.
"It’s like this, Ron," she said, biting her lip to calm herself.
"If I start from Cassiopeia, and trace my way over here like this,"
she demonstrated with her finger as she spoke. "Then I find the lowest
star in Ursa Major."
"Well, what about the ‘point right there to guide your way’?"
he blustered, looking at Harry, who was now choking back the laughter
"Polaris," he spluttered, sinking onto the floor and burying
his head in his knees to muffle his hilarity.
"You mean you weren’t…?" Ron stammered incredulously. "Are
"Ron," Ginny giggled. "It’s really none of your business,
but I’m definitely sure there was nothing going on just before you barged
in. I think I’d have noticed if there was. Other times, I refuse to vouch
for. That’s entirely between me and Harry."
Ron felt his cheeks growing even hotter, and he found himself unable
to look at either Ginny or Harry. The embarrassment factor of what he’d
just done began to sink in, and he groaned to himself. How could he have
been so stupid? Neither of them were going to forgive him in a hurry for
this. What on earth had possessed him?
"Ron," Ginny said firmly, taking control of the situation.
"I suggest you go and have a nice hot bath or something. I think
Hermione might well object to the delightful smell of eau de bats livers,
or whatever that is."
"Slugs," Ron replied sheepishly, and gave them an apologetic
smile. "Sorry," he muttered. "I’ll…er… I’ll leave you to
The heavy oak door creaked to a close behind Ron, and Harry breathed
a sigh of relief. That had been almost as close as their encounter with
Snape. If Ron had arrived a mere fifteen minutes earlier, he would have
been greeted by a completely different scenario, and a good deal less
clothing. A broad grin spread across his face at the memory.
"Can you believe him?" Ginny said incredulously, still staring at
the space in the doorway Ron had just occupied. Harry pulled her
closer, his hands gently running up and down her back to soothe her.
"Thinks I'm still a baby or something, how dare he just barge in when
we…when we..," Ginny paused and giggled. "It was funny though, wasn't
"Yes, it was," he grinned, leaning over to kiss her deeply. He felt
her quiver beneath his fingers. "Although if he’d turned up a few
minutes earlier, it could have turned out like that again."
Ginny blushed, but grinned impishly up at him. "Oh, I’m sure I can
make Ron live to rue the day. I’m just glad he’s not observant at the
best of times."
"Why’s that?" wondered Harry. She pointed towards the window,
and when Harry saw what was there, he began to laugh. Due to a reduction
in sock stealing potential, Ginny had been forced in to wearing her own
stockings, and the ones she’d been wearing earlier were still hanging
where they’d been flung in the haste of the moment; delicately draped
over a telescope in full view of the entire room.
"He’d have had kittens if he’d seen them," she laughed.
"Well, you heard your brother," he said, grinning wickedly at her.
"He's leaving us to it. Be a shame to waste the opportunity."
Night disperses and the dawn starts breaking
The drama and laughter all are fading.
The moral is, when the earth is rocking
Never forget where you’ve put your stockings!