The Sugar Quill
Author: Hermione L. Granger  Story: Deepest Fears  Chapter: Default
The distribution of this story is for personal use only. Any other form of distribution is prohibited without the consent of the author.


Disclaimer: I only own the voices inside their heads.

A/N: a little weird, thought it up during church.

Ron leaned back into the living room chair, stretching his long legs in front of him. As he snuggled into the couch he began to wonder how his mother was going to explain it all. His family had been left in the dark for a whole year now. And at the ripe old age of 16, Ron, being by Harry's side through the whole thing, had gone through more hell than the rest of them. Watching Neville Longbottom die wasn't something everyone had done.

On his left, the twins were both whispering to one another, a solemn look covering both of their faces. It was disheartening seeing those two like that. Sighing, Ron looked around the room, watching Ginny for a moment as she rocked back and forth staring at her hands. She hadn't been the same since Diggory's death.

Percy was sitting rigidly on the couch with his two older brothers reading through reports. If Ron had thought Percy had been passionate about his work before, it was nothing compared to now. Since the general panic that had swept the wizarding world after Ron's fourth year, Percy had thrown himself into his work, almost as if he worked harder it'd all go away.

Charlie was lounging in-between Bill and Percy flipping through a magazine without really reading it. Ron knew it had been frustrating for Charlie...not being at Hogwarts on the night of the third task, much less not being in the country. Since then he had pretty much continually popped into the Burrow every week, something Ron knew must've been tiring to him, more mentally than physically.

Bill, on the other hand, had completely moved back to England. He was willing to take on whatever Dumbledore threw at him. But was now sitting next to Ron biting his cuticles off.

The whole clan was settled in the living room to hear from Mrs. Weasley what exactly had gone on...Ron realized for the first time that his siblings were all going to know about Sirius in a minute. With another sigh, Ron picked up Standard Book of Spells Year 6, and began on chapter four. With a smirk he thought of how proud Hermione would be knowing he was actually studying for the year ahead. One did have to be prepared.

"I suppose I should talk to you lot now," Mrs. Weasley said as she walked into the living room. Nervously, she pressed down her apron and looked around at her children as she took a seat, completing the circle of seats around the room.

"As you know, Fudge will killed last night," she continued. Ginny stopped twitching but still stared at her hands. Both twins looked at their mother, their conversation stopping instantly. Percy gently placed his work down as Charlie dropped the magazine on the floor. Bill folded his hands and stared at his mother. Ron continued to read. No one noticed.

"I think it's important now, for you kids to know the truth, with Fudge gone, many things are going to change, everything will be much more open. So, let's start with the small stuff. Sirius Black," she said with a small tremble, meeting her children's eyes, "He's innocent. Dumbledore trusts him, Harry trusts him, so-"

"What do you mean he's innocent?" Charlie demanded sitting up. The others wore similar looks of alarm.

"Well, he apparently didn't kill those Muggles and his other friend Peter did. I'm not really sure why, Dumbldore hasn't had the time to explain-"

Ron interrupted, "Peter Pettigrew. It turns out he was the Potter's secret keeper, not Sirius."

"How do you know that?" Percy asked forcefully, "Pettigrew is dead."

"No, he's not," Ron replied calmly looking up from his book, resigned to these facts by now, "He's alive. It's a long story. Basically-James Potter, Sirius Black, Pettigrew, and Professor Lupin were all friends when they were in Hogwarts. Lupin's a werewolf-" here he paused for a moment as Ginny and his mother both gasped and George dropped the pen he was holding- "So his three best friends became Animagus so they could hang out with him during the full moon. Pettigrew was a rat. Scabbers to be exact-" this time he paused for the women to shriek and for Percy to jump up- "and he was the traitor. When Black 'blew up' the street, it was actually Pettigrew who did it, and just as it happened, he cut off his finger to be found and escaped as a rat. And only Sirius, Pettigrew, and the Potters knew he was the secret keeper. With no one to speak for Sirius, he was locked up." With that, Ron went back to his book.

"So- Harry trusts Black?" Bill asked after a moment.

"We all do," Ron replied, "He was living in a cave outside of Hogsmeade. To keep on eye on Harry all through our fourth year and part of the last one. We visited him up there every Hogsmeade trip, he's living off of rats so we were sending him food after that."

"Where's he now?" Bill asked.

"At Professor Lupin's."

"The werewolf's?" Fred asked.

"He's at Professor Lupin's," Ron repeated a little more testily that time. The matter was dropped.

"Well," Mrs. Weasley continued more than a little shaken now, "I suppose that was the little stuff. Now-well-most of you know, but-"she closed her eyes, not wanting to hurt her children like this. She took a deep breath to spit it out.

"Voldemort killed Neville." There was a gasp around the room as all heads turned to stare at Ron, who was still involved with his book, "You heard me," he repeated, "Voldemort killed him. Not some animal from from Hagrid's class."

"You-you said his name," Ginny whispered, the first noise she had made all day.

"Yeah, I got over the big fear thing about the time I realized he's probably going to be the one to kill me," Ron replied sarcastically.

"Ron!" his mother exclaimed.

"What Mum?" he asked standing up, "What? You don't want me to say something that's probably true? I'm Harry Potter's best friend, and if he's fighting, I'm fighting right there with him, and if he's not fighting, then I'm fighting to protect him anyway. Voldemort hates us-me, Harry, and Hermione-to think even one of us is going to get through this alive is nothing short of a lie. And if one of them dies, or even worse, both of them, there's not going to be much of a point in me sticking around anyway."

With that, Ron picked up his book and stormed up to his room. His family could hear the door slam all the ways downstairs.

For a while Ron laid on his bed and listened. After a moment he could hear Ginny began to cry. The twins began to whisper again, Charlie was asking Bill more details about what had just happened, Percy's quill could be heard scratching against his work.

But Ron was restless now. His speech to his family just made him realize what had been gnawing at the back of his mind for the past four weeks. He moved over to his dresser and began.

Dear Hermione- (that seemed like a good start)

How's your summer been? Mine's been kind of - (to peppy)

Dear Hermione-

So have you gone to visit Vick -
(don't bring that up again you idiot)

(Just write what you feel)

Dear Hermione-

I miss you. (Good Weasley) The summer's not the same without you here to bug me about homework. (Keep it light but not too light) It's weird not having anyone to talk to about this-you know, Voldemort situation.

Mum told the rest of the family about Sirius. It's strange having other people know after so long. She tried to tell them about Voldemort but I beat her to it. I kind of-I kind of freaked out on them,
(Don't tell her that.)

I went into this speech about how I'm going to fight, and we'll probably die (oh right, this is a cheery note, start over again you big prat) and it just made me realize that one of us-me you and Harry-we can't all make it out of this alive. (stop it. you don't let Hermione know your biggest fears. What do you think you're-) And it also made me realize that I couldn't stand it if you weren't there with me, I mean, with you being Muggle-born, I just don't know what I'd do without you-(smooth Weasley, why don't you just tell her you like her?)

Hermione, I like you, I mean I really like you. Like, as more than as a friend. And I understand if you don't care about me, or if you just don't want me, of if you're still with Vicke-Victor, and you can just feel free to ignore this whole letter in general, I just really wanted to let you know how I feel.

(At least apologize for spilling your guts to her.)



Before he could think about it too much, Ron sealed the note, addressed it, and sent it off with Pig. Sighing, he laid face first onto his bed.


"Shut up," he mumbled to the annoying voice inside his head. He had just told his family he expected to die, and he had just told his best friend he was in love with her. And those were the least of his problems.

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