The Sugar Quill
Author: Hermione M  Story: Thoughts  Chapter: Default
The distribution of this story is for personal use only. Any other form of distribution is prohibited without the consent of the author.

A/N- Ok, this story takes place in the seventh year. It's just a bit of fluff between Ron and Hermione. After flirting for a long time now, Hermione is getting tired.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

 

Great. He's walking toward me. He's going to sit down, look at me in this weird way, and ask me if I'm all right, I'll tell him I'm fine. He's going to shoot me an odd look, then ask me about his homework. Just as always.

"Hi, Hermione," he says.

He has this look in his eyes that tells me that the circle is going to repeat once more.

"Hey," I mutter.

.

I'm not really in the mood today. I guess that by now I should be used to the pain it causes, that he causes, and I am... well, sort of. I mean, some days I act as if nothing happens, and so does he, but some days I just feel like crying. Today is one of those days. He is giving me the weird look now. I hate it when he does that. I guess he sensed my bad mood, because he is giving me the look first.

"What?" I ask - it sounds almost aggressive. He looks hurt. I hate it. "Sorry," I say hastily.

"It's okay," he says, smiling.

Why in hell does he have to smile? "Can I sit?" What is he doing? He never asks.

"Uh, sure," I say, making a space.

He sits. Silence. I hate silence. Especially between him and me. It makes me feel so uncomfortable.

"So..." What is he trying to do? He's supposed to ask if I'm okay. Even if he knows I'm not. Okay, I'm getting tired of waiting for him to say his line. I'll have to ask, even if I know that is going to cause a fight.

"What is it now?" I ask. Why does it sound so rude? I don't mean it. He gives me a look. "Potions? Transfiguration? Charms?"

It keeps sounding rude. Now he's going to be mad. I'm glad. Okay, I'm not.

"What?" He sounds offended.

"Oh, c'mon, Ron. What do you need help with this time?" Rude, again.

"Why do you assume I want help with my homework?" Offended, again.

"Well, that is what you always want."

It doesn't sound that rude this time, but he still looks offended. Is he trying to make me feel guilty? Well, it won't work.

"It's not always about homework, you know?"

"Then, what is it?" I say, sounding daring. I know what it is about. And he knows that I know. But neither of us dares to talk about it.

He shakes his head. Silence, again. The atmosphere is tense. Great. Just what I wanted.

"You know, this is ridiculous. We are friends. We're supposed to be able to talk about everything." Friends, right. We're not friends. He knows that. He is daring me now. I dared him, now he dares me. Fair. But not for me.

"Yeah, I guess." That's my reply. I stand up and walk out of the common room. He stares at me while I walk away. I can't see him, but I feel it.

I hate this situation. It's been months like this. It all started when I broke up with Krum. I broke up with him because of Ron. He kept teasing me, and it was really annoying. I got tired of telling him to stop, and telling Viktor that Ron was a bit brainless. So I ended that relationship. Ron knows that, even if I didn't tell him. He's not stupid. That time he almost kissed me. But he didn't. He didn't have the guts. I don't think he has them now. It's been all weird between us since then. I like him, he knows that. And I know he likes me too. It's more that physical attraction, though. Something deeper. But he won't admit it. I'm not a patient person, so started seeing this guy from Ravenclaw, Derek. I met him in my Arithmancy class. He was really nice. And it was fun, because it was a secret. But Ron found out, I don't know how. We had this huge fight. But that didn't stop Derek and I from seeing each other. Ron was so mad at me. We didn't speak to each other for about a month. Harry tried to act as if nothing was happening, but it's not that easy when your two best friends aren't talking. He told me about a million times that I should talk to Ron, solve our problems. And I kept telling him that I couldn't do anything. I know he is sick and tired about this. Then, Derek and I broke up, and Ron and I made up. Well, actually, he started talking to me again. Strange boy, that Ron. I still had feelings for him, I still do. Derek knew it, and he didn't care. But Ron is so hesitant. And I'm not going to wait him forever.

 

I'm walking down the corridors. I have no idea where I'm going. Before I realize it, I'm out of the castle.

I hate it. Why did I have to fall in love with my best friend? It's a strange feeling, though. Some days I'm so happy he's my friend. That way I have his attention before the other girls. But I know that it has nothing to do with him being my friend.

Friend. Stupid word. He is not my friend. He knows that, I know that. But neither of us accepts it. Well, it won't be me. I've given him enough clues. But that's the problem with boys. You never know what they are thinking. They freak me out sometimes. Well, not all of them, really. Just Ron. Stupid Ron. Why does he have to be so charming?

I hear footsteps behind me. I turn my head. Great. It's Ron. He is coming after me. Is that a good or a bad thing? I know that he'll finally talk about it, about our situation. But do I want that? Am I ready for this? I've passed all day cursing him in my mind. Wouldn't that be hypocritical?

Damn. He saw me seeing him. Now I won't be able to keep walking as if I hadn't seen him.

But I can keep walking. There is no law against walking. Okay, that was stupid.

"Hermione!" He is calling me. Damn. Why am I so scared? Sometimes I really hate myself. Now is one of those times.

I try to stop, but I can't. What's wrong with me?!

"Hermione, hold on!" Okay, Hermione, you've got to stop. Stop! Stupid feet, they are stopping. But didn't I want that?! I'm going out of my mind.

"What?" I say, turning around. I sound exasperated. Well, I am, why shouldn't I sound like that? Because it hurts him, that's why. And why do I care if it hurts him? He hurts me everyday. I care because I love him. Stupid Hermione.

"Ok, Hermione, this is stupid. We really need to talk." There is something in his voice. Is it... desperation?

"No, we don't." I really don't want to talk. Well, I do. But I know that if I stay here any longer, with him, I'll start crying. And that is the last thing I want. I start walking away, again.

"Hermione, wait." He grabs my arm. I feel chills all over my body.

"What, Ron. What?" I say, my voice is shaking. Great. He lets my arm go. I fall on the ground. I feel all weak. He sits beside me.

"We need to stop this." He says. He sounds really serious. I don't know what to say. Luckily, he continues talking.

"It's driving me mad. It's not good. And I know it hurts you, too." I still don't know what to say.

"Hermione, it's crazy. Keep it going. Sitting there every day, pretending. Pretending I don't feel something I do. Watching you day by day without doing anything. It's really... not good." He sighs. "It's killing me. When you were with Krum and that other guy and I saw you and you just looked... happy. You were happy with someone that wasn't me. And I now it was stupid. Not telling you, just having those fights with you. It kills me, when we sit there, day by day, with the same routine that we always do, pretending that nothing's happening, when all I want to do is to be with you. It makes me want to scream. And I can't take it anymore."

I still don't know what to say. Stupid me. I just blush. A tear is coming out of my eye. But a small smile is forming in my mouth. But I remain quiet. I don't know what he's thinking. Maybe he thinks I'm an idiot, or stupid. I don't know.

"Hermione," He takes my chin in his hand, making me look into his eyes. I feel butterflies in my stomach. "Please tell me that it's not just me. Please tell me that you feel it too. I need to hear it, otherwise I'll go crazy."

This is the hardest thing I ever had to do. Even if I do feel it. Damn Ron. He knows how I feel, why do I have to say it? I look into his gray eyes. They are pleading me to say it. I breath.

"I do," I whisper. He smiles slowly.

"I feel as if my soul has been released," he says. It doesn't make much sense, but it's sweet. I smile.

We remain like that, looking at each other. I feel myself blush, again. I look down. Stupid me. I close my eyes, and sigh.

Suddenly, I feel him kissing me. Is he really doing it or am I imagining it? No, he is! Slowly, really slowly I kiss him back. It's weird. It's not my first kiss, but it feels like it. I guess that is what love does to you. As we kiss, all my doubts go away. All my fears go.

We break apart. Then, slowly, we kiss again.

Finally, the pain is gone.

The End.

//
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