Faster than a speeding Firebolt
More alarming than a steaming Howler
Able to read dull fics with nary a frown
Its Super Beta-Reader!!!
Once upon a workday weary, while I pondered HP theory
I took up steno pad and pen, my fanfic career to begin
While I wrote without stopping, I realized I needed
Something or someone to correct my fic
"'Tis a beta-reader," I muttered, "I need a beta-reader
to correct my fics,
Only this and nothing more."
O Beta-Reader! My Beta-Reader!
I thought my work was done
I spell checked my fic everywhere
I thought my prize was won
I polished the little errors, the ones that I could see
I sent it in, proud as punch, thought that I was daring
But o heart! heart! heart!
All the computers marks of red!
You sent it back for correction, "try again," you said.
I sat in a torrent of darkness in front of my computer
I wished I had a galleon for every mistake I hadn't seen
Husband and kid were whining, kept knocking at the door
And still I kept revising,
I, the fanfic writer, kept revising, 'till I couldn't anymore.
Listen my children and you shall hear
Of a Beta-Reader that I hold dear,
Corrects my fics without strife
Reminds me of details, points out my inconsistencies
She's saved my cyber life!
Fanfics are written by fools like me,
But only a true friend can beta-read.
Stanza 2 is Edgar Allen Poe, "The Raven"
Stanza 3 is Walt Whitman, "O Captain! My Captain!"
Stanza 4 is Alfred Noyes, "The Highway Man"
Stanza 5 is Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, "Paul Revere's Ride"
Stanza 6 is Joyce Kilmer, "Trees"
I don't know who to credit the first stanza to. Superman, maybe???