A FEW NOTES: This takes place during the seventh year,
making Harry and company age 17. Ron and Hermione are an offical couple, but
still bicker like before. The exact ages of Bill and Charlie are unknown, but
I'm assuming that Bill is 9-10 years older than Ron. This fic is inspired by
the band Social Distortion and two bottles of Budweiser. Enjoy.
"I really blew it this time..."
Ron Weasley looked down at his bottle of Butterbeer Extra. He and his partners
that night (his older brothers Bill and Charlie, and his longtime friend Harry
Potter) moved on from the standard Butterbeer to something a little more...
potent. The four of them got together at Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade to have
a "guys night out". "Guys night" activities apparently involved belching, getting
quite inebriated, loud cussing, stupid jokes, and deep discussions of the greatest
mystery of all time: women.
"Ron, Ron, Ron, what did you do to Hermione now?" Charlie asked.
"It's...it's stupid. I'm stupid," Ron sighed.
"Yes, stupid stupid Ron!" Harry laughed. He was only on his second bottle, and
he was already starting to slur his words. For all his talents as a wizard,
he was a bit of a lightweight when it came to drinking.
"Heh, haaa!! Ron! You jes can't seem to do things right wit her..." Bill slurred.
Bill, who was 26 years old and also a great wizard in his own right...wasn't
much better than Harry.
"Shut up, you two!" Ron glared at his oldest brother and friend.
"Okay, so Ron what exactly happened?" Charlie asked. Charlie was the notorious
ladies man of the Weasley boys. Though currently single, he had much experience
dealing with the opposite sex. In fact, even his elder brother Bill sought his
advice from time to time.
"We fought...we fought over what we were going to do tonight. She asked me what
activities I wanted to do, and I just told her `Whatever you want to do is fine.'
For some reason, she got mad and said `You always say that. You know, we don't
have to always do what I want.' So I said, `No really, we'll do whatever makes
you happy.' And she said `What about you, Ron. What about your happiness?' And
I said, `It doesn't matter about what will make me happy, what will make -you-
happy?' Then she
gets real mad and says `So you're saying I don't make you happy.' And it just
escalated from there...." Ron looked really depressed.
"Well," said Charlie. "Well that doesn't sound too bad. It really doesn't sound
any worse than any other time you two start bickering."
"It gets worse," Ron sadly replied. "Well, I don't quite remember exactly what
was said, but she said something about Krum..."
"Uh oh," said Bill while popping the cap off another bottle.
"...and I said...oh God, this was so stupid...I said...no I shouted...'Well,
I know Fleur Delacour would make me happy!'" Ron winced while he briefly re-lived
"Oh, man...." Harry said. Bill just shook his head in disbelief.
"I know, I know! It's over....I don't think there's any way to salvage it..."
Ron looked physically ill.
"Well, that is pretty bad," Charlie said. "But I've actually seen worse. It's
not over, Ron."
"Yeah it is. I think I give up. I'm an idiot and she deserves better than me.
Maybe I should just move on..."
Charlie looked at his brother dead in the eye. "Listen. Hermione is a great
girl. And all last year, before you had the sack to properly ask her out, you've
done nothing but complain to me about how much this girl means to you and how
remote your chances were with her. Well Ron, you finally got the girl. And when
you two aren't arguing like a pair of dolts, I can tell that she makes you happier
anything in the world. Look at me Ron. She is perfect for you and you damn well
know it. If you decide to foolishly give up on her, I will take this bottle
and bash it over your head until I beat some bloody sense into you."
"Do it! Do it!!" Harry gleefully shouted.
"Shut up before I knock you out!" Ron hissed.
Suddenly, Harry grabbed the collar of Ron's shirt and made a fist with his free
hand. "You don't have the g..gg..gg..gutssssss!!!!" In his butterbeer induced
state, Harry had trouble saying the word "guts" which made Bill howl with laughter.
Harry then slung his arm around Ron's shoulder and said, "Awww...you know I
luv ya buddy! An Hermione luves ya too! Man I gotta pee!"
Ron took Harry by the shoulders and walked him to the Men's room where he sort
of threw him in. Ron walked back to the table and mumbled something about obnoxious
Charlie looked at his brother. "You know, the drunk fool is right. You may not
think it right now, but Hermione does love you back. It's just that the both
of you can't seem to think before opening your mout - Bill?"
Bill had passed out onto the table. Charlie tried to revive him by slapping
him across the face. "Bill. Bill! Wake up!" *smack*smack*
"Do you need to go home? I can hail the Knight Bus for you."
"No, no. You just continue your little conversation with Ronniekins. I'll be
f...*yawn*...I'll be fine....." With that, Bill's head slumped onto the table
again with a loud THUD.
"Anyway, as I was saying, you've known Hermione for what, seven years? I mean,
you should have a pretty good idea of what she's like. By now, you've noticed
that she's a strong willed person. She also wants to take care of you. But by
doing that, she subconsciously feels the need to control you. She's probably
not doing it on purpose, but she cares so much for your well-being that it just
seems to happen that way."
Ron looked at Charlie with a bit of admiration. He was speechless. Charlie continued.
"You are a hot tempered git. You need to work on that. You always feel the need
to get the last word in, without regard. You can't walk away from a conversation
without having the final say, no matter how nasty. I mean, look how you act
around Malfoy. Well, that kinda transfers over to Hermione in an argument. The
next time you get into an argument with Hermione, just shut up. I know it will
probably kill you not to get that final nasty comment in, but do her and yourself
a favor and keep quiet! And you know what? It might not hurt to just let her
win the argument."
Ron contemplated what Charlie said. He wasn't sure he agreed with all that he
said, but it was still sound advice.
"But then again, what do I know. I'm pretty drunk. Well, what do you have to
Ron thought for a while. "I....I think....I think I need another butterbeer."
The night went on longer. Harry came back to the table with a big bag of assorted
sweets. Apparently, after his trip to the bathroom he felt the need to get some
candy, so he ran down the street to Honeyduke's and purchased as many sweets
as he could buy. As soon has he came back with his bag, he emptied out all of
its contents onto the table, spilling some of them onto the floor (and all over
Bill's sleeping head).
"Help yourself!" Harry said and he ordered another beer.
An hour and a couple of beers later, Charlie had even more advice for his brother.
"See Ron, a woman is like a Chocolate Frog," Charlie said with his arm around
Ron and holding the aforementioned sweet. "They're so sweeeeeeet....and...they...uh....they're
wrapped in foil and have a wizard card inside them....."
"Herrrmionnne!! We...we was jes talkin' `bout you!!!" Charlie slurred.
Ron turned around to see Hermione and Ginny standing behind him.
"Ginny darling!! Come sit with us!!!" Harry said, mouth full of pumpkin pasties.
Ron glared at him. With a puzzled look on her face, Ginny
walked over to Harry and asked "Harry? Are you okay?"
"Virgina dear, now that you're here I couldn't be better!" Harry said with a
smile and put his arm around her shoulder and leaned into her. This earned him
another dirty look from Ron, an amused look from Charlie, and a sleepy look
from Bill who was just starting to wake up.
Ron stood up. "Hermione, let's talk in private." He took her hand led her to
a booth in the corner.
"Have you been drinking?" Hermione asked.
"What? No!" Ron replied, but Hermione took a good look at the guy's table with
Bill fading in and out of consciousness, Harry stuffing his face with his purchased
snacks (and Ginny looking at him with amusement) and Charlie singing the Hogwart's
theme song to himself.
"Well, okay yes, but I stopped a while ago. I assure you I have all my mental
Hermione took a good look at Ron and decided that if he was drinking, at least
he wasn't as drunk as the three goons at the other table.
"Okay. Ron I-"
"Hermione, I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have said...what I said earlier. It
was cruel and totally uncalled for. Please accept my apology. But if you don't
and decide to move on....then...I'd understand...."
"Ron, it was cruel, but it wasn't uncalled for. I....well....I acted like a
bitch. I shouldn't have have gotten frustrated so easily. I know I tend to be
a bit.... controlling at times. But I really love you and I just want to be
happy. I'm sorry."
Ron smiled. "Heh, and you complain about -my- language..."
Hermione playfully punched him in the shoulder. "Oh shut up, you!" She then
slid her arms around his neck and kissed him lightly on the lips. "So....what
do you want to do tonight, Ron?"
Ron slid his hands around her waist and said, "Well....I want to make up with
you, and I'm pretty sure we did that. Then, I want to kiss you some more. And
then, I would like to pass out in your arms in front of the fire. Is that okay
Hermione smiled. "That sounds great! But first..."
Ron looked at her. "First what?"
Hermione had a mischievous grin. "First, I want a drink!"
Author's notes: That's it. Thanks to everyone at fanfiction.net for the kind
words, and special thanks to Zsenya for editing tips and catching my mistakes.