Disclaimer: I don't own JKR's characters and never will. I'm sure that
Ms Rowling would never treat her characters in the same manner I've treated
them. Eve is a bastard of original character and real life person and
I try to deny any responsibility for her.
Author's note: All my thanks to my beta-reader, Zsenya and my friend,
Miss Pince. Their advice was most beneficial.
Chapter 1
A door crashed against a wall somewhere in the Burrow. Ron and Ginny
looked up from their game of wizard chess; Ron was close to check-mate
when they had heard the crashing sound.
"As from now, I no longer consider you my brother!" George's voice echoed
through out the house. Ron caught Ginny's eyes. They heard a.door smashing
in its frame and hurried footsteps down the stair. Seconds later Fred
shouted:
"Fine by me, you bastard!"
Ron and Ginny sighed, the fight had escalated to new heights and they
turned their heads after George who stormed out the front door.
"Should we go after him?" asked Ginny nervously. Ron shook his head.
"It is best we try to stay out of this, it's their fight."
They both knew exactly when this had started. It had been on the sunny
afternoon at the beach in Brighton where they had met Eve.
Only days after they had arrived home from Hogwarts, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley
had told their four youngest children that they would accompany their
mother to Brighton while their father attended to some business at home.
Ron had been suspicious that his father planned to strenghten the wards
at the Burrow and probably wanted to send the family away so that he could
carry out some experiments. Bill was supposed to come and help him for
a couple of days. The kids spent most of their stay in Brighton at the
beach while Mrs. Weasley went shopping, although once or twice she Apparated
to the Burrow to help her husband.
Ron and Ginny had been quick to retreat underneath a sunshade when the
sun hadn't agreed with their red hair and pale complexion. Fred and George
had defied that on the grounds they were too interested in the birdlife
to let the sun bother them. Yeah, birds in bikinis, Ron had thought,
glaring after his brothers where they had been chatting to two girls in
pink bikinis. He had just been glad that his sister didn't wear one of
those bikinis, her one-piece swimsuit was skimpy enough. Why did he have
to worry about that too? He hadn't liked the fast rate his sister was
growing up, there should be laws against little sisters growing breasts.
Soon there would be worries about guys chasing after her and he knew for
a fact that no matter how smart girls were, they could just as well get
involved with some shady guys. Hermione was the perfect example, allowing
that Bulgarian oaf near her. What would Ginny do, snog Draco Malfoy?
His own thoughts had scared him, so he had turned to check if his brothers
had gotten themselves in trouble with those girls, but they were nowhere
to be seen. Ginny had been engrossed in some magazine and he had been
starting to curse himself for forgetting to bring at least one comic book
with him when the twins had come into view. They had been in deep conversation
with a girl, actually they had seemed to be gaping at her like she was
a veela. Ron had never seen them act like this, not even at the Quidditch
World Cup where they had just about laughed their pants off when Ron and
Harry had been ready to jump out of the top box. But this girl was everything
but a veela, her face was not special in any way and she had ash-blonde
hair which had a peculiar glitter about it. Ron told himself that the
sunshine reflecting on the sand was causing that affect, and he hadn't
thought that she had been any more impressive than many of the other girls
at Hogwarts.She hadn't even been wearing a bikini so Ron was oblivious
as to what could fascinate his brothers so much.
"Eve, meet our kid brother, Ron. Ron, this is our... friend, Eve," Fred
had said with a stupid grin on his face. Ron had not been happy about
the kid brother remark and had scrambled to his feet to show them who
was indeed was the kid brother, he being several inches taller then the
twins. Eve had looked him up and down and said quite sarcastically,"You
look remarkably like a giraffe."
The twins had howled with laughter while Ron had scowled. This was an
exceptionally bad joke by the Weasley standards. Even George's joke about
Ron's shoes being the missing lifeboat of the Titanic was had been much
funnier. Ron hadn't been able to think of anything to say and had sat
down again on his towel, his ears crimson red. Ginny had stopped reading
her magazine and now looked with concern at Eve who hadn't seemed seem
to notice her. Ron hadn't liked this new friend of the twins. When they
had walked away, Ginny had turned to Ron and said, "What was that, Malfoy's
cousin or something?"
"Doubt it but equally as nasty," Ron had said in a muffled voice. He
was somewhat sensitive about his height and this remark had certainly
not made him feel any better.
They had stayed three more days in Brighton and the twins had seemed
to spend every waking hour with Eve. On the way home, they had boasted
about having her telephone number and address. "She might even be able
to come to the Burrow for a visit." Ron and Ginny were a bit worried about
that since that she was a Muggle and the Burrow was quite a magical place
though it might not be grand. When they were home and the twins had run
out to the nearest pay phone, Ron voiced his concern to Ginny, "Is she
a girlfriend to them both?"
"Ron! That's absurd. I'm sure they are all just friends, maybe she will
choose one of them, I don't know," Ginny had shrugged.
"But it seems they both like her, isn't one going to get hurt?" Ron had
replied then in a low voice. Ginny had furrowed her brow.
"I don't know, I hope not. They never fight or anything, always happy
for one another if one gets something, you know..."
This time though, one wasn't happy for the other. A week after they had
returned home, tension had started to mount. Fred had discovered that
George had called Eve without him knowing and that had resulted in a quarrel.
But it was nothing compared to the fight they had when Fred had returned
home after having spent the whole day out. George had been livid; especially
when he learned that Fred had not only been meeting Eve but they had come
to a certain understanding. George had sulked for a week but then he confronted
his brother. It would either be him or Eve and that had resulted in them
disowning each other.
~~~~
George sat on Percy's neatly made up bed. He still felt the rage in his
whole body and deep inside he was glad because the rage made him forget
how torn he really was. It was a pain like no other. He had never felt
this way about a girl like he felt about Eve, he thought about her every
second and dreamt constantly about her. Then, there was his brother, his
twin. They had never been apart, they had never fought, and they were
as close as one could get to another person. Now all was changed, they
had both wanted Eve for themselves and neither of them was ready to give
in.
George grasped tightly around his head. He felt so bad, it could only
be compared to what he went through when he thought the Slythering monster
had killed Ginny, and back then he and Fred had supported each other.
This was a double broken heart, he had lost the first girl he had loved
and he wasn't speaking to his twin, his other self. He wanted to get away
from it all but for now he settled for Percy's room while its owner was
on a mission for the Ministry in France. He couldn't see how he could
ever again share the bunk bed with Fred. They had fallen out for good.
Was he supposed to cry now? He didn't know, he just felt this terrible
pain and he knew nothing could ease it. His parents had tried, they had
come after him after he ran out of the house. They had made attempts to
get him to talk but he refused. This wasn't really any of their business,
this was between him and Fred. Finally they had left him and his mother
hadmentioned that he could sleep in Percy's room.
Why had they fallen for the same girl? Their taste in women was usually
different, George knew that Fred had fancied Angelina Johnson while he
himself had had more eyes for a Hufflepuff girl in their year. Angelina
was dark, tall and quite exotic looking while the Hufflepuff girl, whose
name was Anne, was blonde with wavy hair. Then again, Eve was very unlike
them both. Smart looking with her ash-blonde hair and sharp cheekbones
whereas Anne was rather roundfaced. Obviously looks didn't matter or Eve
would have had more trouble deciding between them. It was uncanny how
alike in appearance they were, the best way to indentify them was the
tiny mole George had on the right side of his chin and Fred's cow-lick.
It was usually better to tell them apart by their posture, George had
a tendency to fold his arms a lot while Fred was more into shoving his
hand into his pockets. Was that how Eve had made her choice? Did she like
boys who had their hands in their pockets better? He knew that wasn't
the case, this was a matter of personalities, Fred was more outgoing,
the leader and always the smart-mouth while he was the care-taker, the
sensible one and one might say the boring one. That could be the reason,
thought George, while he stared down at the floor, deep in his thoughts.
He quickly pushed out the thought that he had never seen his future without
Fred by his side, it was like imagining how it would be like to cast oneself
into black abyss. He knew his thoughts were heading that way but there
was no need to accelerate the process.
~~~~
Harry rested his head in his hands, looking down at the pieces of parchment
that were scattered over his desk. These were all notes on Quidditch,
both written notes and drawings, showing diagrams of various tactics and
tricks. This was his way to keep himself occupied so he would not think
too much about the events of last June. It had all happened six weeks
ago, Voldemort's resurrection, the ghost images of his parents and Cedric's
death. No, he was not going to think about it, the pain was still too
much to bear. Concentrate on the Quidditch diagram here, think about those
Beater tactics, Fred and George would benefit from them.
Suddenly Harry's thoughts were interrupted by a light tapping on his
window. A tiny, grey owl fluttered outside, it was Pig bearing a letter
from Ron, without a doubt. Harry was quick to let him in so the Dursleys
might not notice. Pig hooted as he flew around Harry's head.
"Ron hasn't been able to train you any better?" Harry said as he snapped
Pig out of the air to get to the letter the owl was carrying. Harry spread
out the roll of parchment that had been attached to the owl's leg. It
read:
"Hi Harry,
It is great that you liked your birthday presents. I was surprised that
Hermione was able to find a fun book to give you."
Harry looked at the book, which lay on his desk, Penalties, Poor
Play and Plenty of Points. Quidditch Techniques and Tactics. Ron
wouldn't mind a look at it since he was going for the unmanned Keeper's
position on the Gryffindor team.
"Anyway, I'm writing to tell you that Dumbledore has finally agreed to
let you come to the Burrow. After a heated discussion about how we would
go about picking you up, no Floo powder this time, and we agreed that
it might not be wise for anyone who came last year to come this time.
It might put the Dursleys off or that's what Dad reckons. I admit he's
kind of right, besides if the same envoy would arrive now, I suspect number
four, Privet Drive would be destroyed. Let's say that some members of
the family aren't on the best of terms and it is a miracle that the Burrow
still stands."
These words made Harry ponder, who was fighting? Had Ron had some disagreement
with the twins? He thought about this for a moment and kept on reading.
"Percy is going to pick you up, he's borrowing a car and we thought it
would be best if he arrived alone. I hope you don't mind, at least he's
stopped going on about Mr Crouch. His son did us a favour. You can expect
Percy around noon next Saturday.
Well, until then, bye,
Ron"
Harry folded the letter, grinning at Ron's sarcastic remark about Mr
Crouch. Percy would undoubtedly leave a better impression on the Dursleys
than his younger brothers and father. But they would regard him with suspicion
nevertheless.
Harry didn't dare tell the Dursleys that there would be a wizard picking
him up. He only stated that somebody, driving a car, would come to pick
him up the next day. The Dursleys were less than pleased.
"Is this somebody of your sort, boy?" said Uncle Vernon angrily.
"What do you think?" answered Harry.
"Don't be cheeky, boy. You will answer my question. I would appreciate
that a scene like last year wouldn't occur this time." This sounded more
like a threat than a request.
"I think I'm safe to say that will not happen again. There will be a
car coming to pick me up." Uncle Vernon answered this with a grunt and
seemed to sound relieved.
Harry knew it would be better to be ready well before noon on Saturday
because Percy would probably be punctual and he was. At 11.51 a.m. a car
pulled up outside the house. The Dursleys all looked out the living room
window to see who was coming.
"Harry! Looks like your chauffeur is here," shouted Uncle Vernon, attempting
to be funny. "Well, he doesn't seemed to be unnatural even thought he
is driving an Italian car. Fiat Uno, give me Japanese cars any day." Harry
didn't hear more of Uncle Vernon's ranting about cars because he had just
opened the front door. He had to suppress a little yelp of surprise. It
was Percy, dressed as a Muggle but his hair wasn't fiery red anymore,
it was chestnut brown with some strange shimmer.
"Hi, Harry. Sorry about the hair. Mum's idea, she was sure that your
family would feel better if I didn't look too much like my father and
brothers. It's just a simple glamour." Percy smiled awkwardly. "I gathered
that it would be best that we had a quick getaway."
"Yeah," said Harry, "the natives get restless very quickly." They went
in and found Uncle Vernon in the hall. Percy couldn't help but being polite.
"Hello, you must be Harry's uncle. I'm Percy W... ugh... Weatherby."
Percy stuck out his hand and Uncle Vernon stared at it as if he would
meet certain death if he would dare touch it. When Percy realised that
his greeting was not welcome, he put his hand in the pocket and turned
to Harry.
"Shall we get your trunk?" Harry just smiled nervously.
They left the house without bothering to say goodbye to the Dursleys.
Percy didn't seem at least offended by their behaviour and whistled merrily
while he tried to close the trunk of the car.
"It is a bit small but it will do for now," said Percy as he sat in the
driver's seat and Harry sat in the passenger's seat.
"Is it a Ministry car?" Harry asked, remembering the much finer Ministry
cars they had sat in few years earlier.
"Oh, no! This belongs to my Penny. Her father gave it to her and it is
quite useful really, especially when travelling in Muggle neighbourhoods,"
said Percy as he took a slow, righthand turn.
"So you have a driver's license," said Harry and looked at Percy whose
ears turned red.
"Not really... It is of course vital for members of the Ministry to be
able to operate the basic Muggle machines and I had some practice driving
the Ford Anglia before it vanished." Percy seemed almost uncomfortable.
It was quite a drive to Ottery St Catchpole and after about two hours
Harry decided to risk asking Percy about what Ron might have been implying
in his letter.
"Is Ron having a fight with the twins?" asked Harry and looked at Percy
who looked startled.
"What gives you that idea?" he said in a strained voice and stared at
the road, not looking Harry in the eye.
"Just something I gather from Ron's letter, situations being explosive,"
Harry saw that there was something going on.
"Since you are coming to the Burrow, you might as well know about this
now. Fred and George have fallen out. They aren't on speaking terms."
It seemed like Percy didn't want to discuss this but after Harry got over
the initial shock, he demanded to know more. Percy told him what he knew,
which was preciously little. Fred had a girlfriend and George wasn't happy
about that and had set ultimatums which resulted in them disowning each
other. After hearing this, Harry's brain went into overdrive. His first
concern was the Quidditch team, would they have to find new Beaters this
year as well as a Keeper? Then what about his investment, what would become
of the joke shop if the twins weren't speaking? Harry, you idiot,
he thought then. What about the Weasley family? What is this doing to
them? They might be used to quarrels and the occasional fight but a longstanding
feud between family members? Harry much doubted that there had been such
a trouble before.
They arrived at the Burrow after dark and were greeted by an extremely
glad Mrs Weasley.
"You were a bit longer than I expected but I kept your dinner hot," she
said after having hugged and kissed a slightly embarrassed Harry.
"Mother! You know that I try to drive carefully," said Percy as he sat
at the table besides Penny, who was obviously staying at the Burrow. Driving
carefully, that's an understatement thought Harry. Percy had never gone
faster than five miles below the speed limit and had given turning signals
at least an half a mile before they had to turn.
"I knew you should have let me pick Harry up," said a cheery voice and
Harry didn't need to turn around to see that it was Ron. "Hi Harry, I
asked if I couldn't pick you up on Penny's car but apparently I'm too
young and not a Ministry employee. I mean, if it had been down to experience,
I would have been the obvious choice. I flew a car from London to Scotland,"
he said triumphantly.
"Don't be silly, dear. I recall you letting the car get away and getting
your father into trouble with the Ministry." Mrs. Weasley waggled a finger
at her youngest son.
While they squabbled about driving and cars running wild, Harry looked
around for the twins but neither of them could be seen. In fact, the house
seemed unnaturally quiet without the standard bangs and explosions that
generally erupted from the twins' room every fifteen minutes or so under
normal circumstances.
Ron took Harry upstairs to drop off his things and Harry took advantage
of the opportunity to question Ron about Fred and George.
"So, what is this about Fred and George not being on speaking terms?"
"Well, that is putting it mildly. I'm surprised they haven't resorted
to violence. George spends the whole day in Dad's shed or out in the garden
while Fred locks himself in his room. George sleeps on the couch in the
living room now. They avoid being in the kitchen at same time and when
it happens, you can cut the tension in the air with a knife." Ron looked
at Harry after his blunt speech.
"This is over some girl, right? We must be talking about quite the looker,
right?" said Harry. Ron frowned.
"Not really. I have met her and she isn't very pretty. Ok, better than
Pansy Parkinson or Eloise Midgen but we know girls many times prettier,
like Angelina, Lisa Turbin and Her ... Err, I could go on and she is nasty,
you know. If she was a witch, she would be in Slytherin, could be Malfoy's
cousin."
"She is a Muggle?"
"Yeah, Eve Flan or something."
"Flan like in the pudding?"
"Stupid name, right? You would think she was a veela, the way they act
around her. She made a really unfunny joke about my height when I met
her and they laughed like she was a bloody comedian. I give her giraffes,
that ash-headed b..."
"She called you a giraffe?" Ron nodded, red-eared.
"What about Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes?"
"Dunno. I don't think neither of them has touched any of the stuff that
they have already made since the big fight." Harry suddenly felt sick
to the stomach, the joke shop that the twins were planning had been one
of the straws that Harry had held onto so that he would not drown in depression.
He shuddered as he also remembered that the Quidditch team would be affected
too. Harry was starting to resent that Eve, even before meeting her.
The next morning Harry decided to have a talk with George and followed
him outside after breakfast. George was leaning against an old maple tree
with his arms folded and staring blankly into space.
"George, can we talk?" Harry didn't get a reply.
"Ron told me that you and Fred had fallen out. I'm not going to talk
about that as such but there are some things I need to know." George kept
silent but Harry knew he heard him.
"What is going to happen to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes? I gave you money,
what about that? I was investing, y'know," This felt like talking to a
brickwall. Harry sighed, he could try Fred. He waited for a minute and
turned around to go up to the house.
"Your money is in a vault at Gringotts. We put it there the same day
you gave it to us and as for the other request, I believe there are blue
dress robes in Ron's size somewhere in Fred's room. I suggest you talk
to the wanker, frankly I couldn't care less." George's voice was flat
and he had not turned around. Harry decided not to ask George about the
Quidditch team, maybe he could ask Fred about that.
~~~~
Fred sat at his desk and stared at the photo he had of Eve. He still
couldn't believe that she was his girlfriend. She had invoked such feelings
inside of him that the mere thought of her made him lose his breath. All
he wanted was to be near her but she lived in London. He had considered
running away to stay with her in London but he knew he would cause his
parents much grief and he only had one year left at Hogwarts. When he
became a fully fledged wizard, he could devote all his life to Eve.
He thought about their first meeting, everything was in a haze except
her. It was like he had acquired a new sight and she was the only thing
in his line of vision. She had walked straight up to them, introduced
herself and had put out her hand for them to shake. Fred remembered the
sensation when he had touched her hand, just like an electric shock. She
had been the most perfect thing he'd ever seen and he had known that she
was the one. Why had George butted in? He should have stayed out of it,
he didn't have a chance.
There was a knock on the door. Who was interrupting him?
"Who is it?" yelled Fred in a tone that was reminiscent of Percy's bustling
manner. Or something like that.
"Just me," said Harry as he walked into the room. Fred looked at him.
Hooray, another busybody who wanted to know what was up.
"I wanted to talk," said Harry hurriedly before Fred could say anything.
"Is it true that the gold I gave you, is now in Gringotts?" Fred just
nodded.
"So, do you have any plans to use it, for Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes or
anything else?" The question came as a shock to Fred, he hadn't given
one thought to any of this since he had that big fight with George. He
simply didn't care.
"No, if you want it back, you can get it yourself."
"Fred, don't be stupid. You know that is not what I meant. The gold can
rot away in Gringotts for all I care. I just can't see you and George
abandon Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes altogether. Maybe I'm being hopelessly
optimistic." Harry crossed his arms and looked Fred in the eye. Fred kept
silent, of course he still thought about the joke shop plans but without
George, it was impossible. It had been collaboration between them in every
little detail.
"Keep the faith, Harry," he said and waited for him to leave but Harry
obviously had unfinished business.
"Then there is the Quidditch team. I suppose we are at least one Beater
short," said Harry and sounded frighteningly like Oliver Wood. A hot jolt
went through Fred's stomach. He hadn't thought about the Quidditch team
at all since he and George had stopped talking. Suddenly he envisioned
himself mounted on his broom, the Beater bat in his hand and he realized
that the only one who was in serious danger of getting hit by his Bludger
was George.
"I suppose I'll resign from the team," said Fred. "I hope you get someone
who can smash up the smirking faces of the Slytherins." Harry gave him
a strange glance and walked out of the room.
~~~~
Angelina was having a quiet day reading. The rain was slamming against
the window and she wished it would stop soon, she really wanted to do
some flying. The novel she was reading didn't hold her attention better
than so that she was quick to look up when she heard a peculiar sound
outside the window. A large snowy owl was approaching. Who was sending
her an owl? Then she recognized the owl as the one belonging to Harry
Potter. Why was he sending her a letter? He had never done that before.
Suddenly she felt sick to the stomach, there were rumours that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
had risen. Maybe something terrible had happened. With a shaking hand
she let the owl inside and unfastened the letter from its leg. It was
damp from the rain but the handwriting was bold with every capital much
larger then the lowercase.
"Hi Angelina,
I hope you have been enjoying the school holidays. I am writing about
matters that concern the Gryffindor Quidditch team. I have also written
Alicia and Katie about this. It looks like that we do not only have an
unmanned Keeper position but at least one Beater position too."
Angelina stared at this. Had something happen to the twins? No, she would
have heard something if it were serious.
"It is not a pleasant task, writing you about this. Fred and George have
stopped talking to each other and Fred has told me he will resign from
the team as soon as next term starts. I am not sure if I should tell you
the reason for this since it is personal but I think you have to know.
Fred has a girlfriend now, a Muggle girl called Eve Flan and George likes
her too. He demanded that Fred would choose between them and Fred chose
the girl and consequently they stopped talking."
She couldn't read more. Fred had a girlfriend; it was like someone had
hit her with a sledgehammer. She remembered the first time she had seen
Fred. It had been their first time on the Hogwarts Express where he and
George had run along the train causing as much racket as possible and
Percy after them, yelling at them to behave. Fred had never behaved; in
their very first class, a Transfiguration lesson, he had charmed the back
of her robes to read: "Kick me!" She'd never admitted it but she had fallen
in love with his pranks then, in fact she became jealous every time he
teased anyone else. When they both had been selected for the Quidditch
team in their second year, it had been one of her happiest days. Fred
and she were part of something together now. Of course she kept her liking
of Fred well hidden, it wasn't until their fifth year when she finally
admitted to Alica and Katie that she really liked Fred. They had assured
her that he seemed to be partial to her company, 'No wonder! You are very
pretty,' Katie had said.
The Yule Ball. It had been agony, was Fred going to ask someone else
or should she ask him instead? Somehow she couldn't ask him, it wouldn't
have felt right. It had been such satisfaction when he had yelled her
name across the common room and asked her to the Ball, she had wanted
to scream of happiness but had settled for a smile. After having stared
into his blue mischievous eyes all night, even when he'd engaged her in
few rather vivacious dances, she had fallen in love for good. Maybe that's
why she'd done what she did when they returned to the Gryffindor common
room after the dance. Fred had been bidding her good night when she'd
acted upon impulse, she had grabbed him by his shoulder and kissed him.
They broke apart quickly, her lips were all tingly and he'd had a mysterious
smile. They'd stared at each other for a moment and then she hadn't been
able to bear it any longer. She had turned up the stairs to the girls'
dormitory and vaguely remembering that she'd said good-night to him. Angelina
touched her lips, still remembering the feeling of the kiss.
She quickly pushed the thought out of her mind. Fred was taken, some
girl meant now so much to him that he had fallen out with his twin. This
all seemed so absurd, no two people were closer than Fred and George.
She knew that many seemed to be confused as to where one twin ended and
the other one began. That had never been a problem for her, she knew always
them apart and found the differences between them were more obvious than
the likenesses. Fred always buried his hands boyishly in his pockets while
George stood his defence with arms crossed over his chest. Fred usually
talked in more relaxed tone than George whose voice had more laughter
in it. The list was endless, Angelina could do a N.E.W.T. exam on them,
she had studied them ever since their first day at Hogwarts.
Who was this Muggle girl? Eve Flan, stupid name really. What did she
look like? It didn't matter if they were alike in appearance or not. Angelina
wanted to scream at the mere thought of that girl. There was no doubt
she had to be stunningly beautiful since she was able to come between
the twins. Did the girl care about that? Maybe she was the sort who liked
guys fighting over her. Angelina shook her head and finished reading the
letter.
"I do not think we can do anything about this until the term starts in
September. Hopefully I did you a favour by telling you this now.
See you soon,
Harry"
Big favour, Harry! Angelina threw the letter on her bed. At least she
didn't have to worry she would make a fool of herself flirting with Fred.
A big lump was building in her throat, there was a burning sensation in
her eyes. Broken heart, so that's how it felt.