Getting into bed, Arthur Weasley gave a deep sigh of
relief.
He was dead tired and what he wanted most right now was a good
night’s
sleep. He bent over his wife’s side and kissed her on the cheek.
"Good
night, Molly Dear."
"You know, Arthur, it’s so nice to have them all
home
again." She said, sounding wide awake.
"Umm humm," he replied sleepily.
"The house is so quite while they are all away. It
gives
me little to do."
"Well, now that Fred and George have graduated, I
suppose
you’ll have lots to do, keeping after them." He had hoped that that
would
end the conversation and he could get some sleep. He knew how upset
Molly
was that Fred and George weren’t as determined to get ‘respectable’
jobs
as Bill, Charlie, or Percy. No, the twins were dead set on opening
that
joke shop!
"Yes, I’ll keep after them," she said softly. "And I
suppose
we’ll be seeing a great deal of Hermione this summer, too. I’ll have
to
keep after her and Ron."
Not really hearing his wife, Arthur said, "Hermione
has
never caused trouble. She won’t be a bother if she
visits."
"No, but she’s never been dating our son,
either."
This woke him up. "What? She’s dating our
son?"
Smiling at her husband, Molly said, "Of course she
is!
Didn’t you see how sweet Ron was to her? I even spotted him giving
her
a little kiss!"
That made him nervous. "Er, Molly dear, how long do
you
suppose this has been going on?"
"Not long," she yawned. "I asked Harry, and he said
it
started around Christmas time. And I also noticed that Harry has
been
paying an awful lot of attention to Ginny lately."
Sitting up in bed, Arthur said, "Hold on. Molly, one
kid
at a time! Have you talked to Ron?"
"Heaven’s no, that’s your job dear." She thought
about
it a minute and said, "You did talk to the other boys didn’t
you?"
"Yes…but…"
"But what? Then this should be easy for you. And you
should
savor it, dear. Ron is your last chance to have the
‘father/son’
chat with."
Nodding and lying back down, Arthur said, "Yes,
Molly
dear, but you get the honors of speaking to Ginny."
"Agreed." She kissed him and they both fell
asleep.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Standing in front of Ron’s closed bedroom door the
next
day, Arthur paused and quickly went over his speech in his head. He
put
his hand to the door and knocked lightly. "Ron, you in
there?"
His son’s voice came from within. "Yeah? You need
something?"
"May I come in?"
"Sure…but don’t complain about the mess!"
Arthur opened the door to his son’s very orange
bedroom
and glanced around. It was indeed messy, but then, Ron had just
gotten
back from his fifth year at Hogwarts yesterday and was in the middle
of
unpacking.
Actually, he wasn’t unpacking. He was sitting on his
bed
reading what appeared to be a letter, and a very lengthy one at
that.
Ron quickly put it away, as if he didn’t want Arthur to see it.
"What
do you want?" Ron asked.
"Oh…er…just to chat. Mind if I sit down?" He
signaled
towards the end of the bed.
"Ok…" Ron sounded hesitant.
Arthur gave a quick look at Ron’s bedside table and
saw
a photo of him, Harry, and Hermione taken just after the O.W.L.s had
been
completed. Ron was holding Hermione’s hand in the picture. Arthur
felt
his head start to bead up with sweat.
"What did you want to talk about, dad?"
Arthur pointed a finger at the photo. "I need to
talk
to you about this, son?"
Ron looked at the picture, too. "Oh come on! I did
my
best! I got more O.W.L.s then Fred or George got! I know I didn’t do
as
well Percy, but then I…"
"Oh no! That’s not what I meant!" Arthur gave a
slight
laugh. "Your mother and I are very pleased about that."
"Then what? What did I do?" Ron was very
confused.
"Nothing…well I hope you haven’t done
anything…yet."
He looked at his son who was wrinkling his freckled nose at him.
"You
see, Ron, I need to tell you about plugs
and…well…outlets."
"What? Why would I care about…"
"Please, let me finish. Boys are plugs…and
well…girls
are outlets. Both have the necessary…er…hardware to create
eceltricity.
The eceltricity can only be created when the plug is inserted into
the
outlet. And this should be done ONLY WHEN BOTH THE PLUG AND THE
OUTLET
ARE READY!"
"DAD!" Ron was thunderstruck. "Are you talking
about…sex?!?!"
Arthur felt his face flush.
"Well…figuratively…yes."
Ron covered his face with his hands. "Ugh…I don’t
believe
this!" He turned to face his father. "Dad, we’ve already had
that."
Stunned, Arthur said, "What?
"Yeah…at Hogwarts."
"You did?" He was shocked at how open his son was
being.
"Sure, we all did. It’s mandatory for all fifth year
students."
"Mandatory? Since when are all students required to
have
sex?"
"Not sex, dad…sex education." Ron raised his
eyebrows
at his dad.
"Oh…of course." Arthur felt a bit foolish.
"Education
is the key to safety."
"You didn’t think that….Hermione…and I…"
"Well, son, I was hoping that you would be
responsible
and wait for a while, but I can’t force you. And speaking of
forcing…make
sure you never force a plug into an outlet. You may end up with bent
prongs."
Ron starred at his father. "What?"
"And sometimes when the plug just won’t fit, we can
use
the lubricaderm spell. Works wonders!"
Eyes wide, Ron said, "Huh?"
"And most importantly, when all the eceltricity is
spent
and the plug is removed, make sure you don’t ignore the outlet. Let
the
outlet know how wonderful and beautiful it is. We don’t want our
outlets
to feel neglected!"
"DAD! STOP! You don’t need to go on…I get
it."
Arthur patted his son on the shoulder. "All right.
Just
remember to be responsible." He stood up and left the room, leaving
the
door open as he left.
When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he heaved
a
great sigh of relief. It went well, he thought. The boys had each
responded
so differently to the speech. Fred and George had laughed at him.
Percy
had sat very quietly and didn’t say a word. Charlie had kept him
talking
for an hour, asking all sorts of questions. And Bill…well Bill had
already
experienced it by the time they talked. He shrugged and set off to
his
shed outback.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Ron sat motionless on his bed. What had just
happened?
Had his dad really just compared sex to plugs and outlets? Fred and
George
popped their heads into his room.
"You wanna play some Quidditch?"
Not even responding to the question, Ron placed his
hands
on his knees and asked, "Has dad ever had…a talk with
you?"
The twins looked at each other. "Dad talks all the
time."
Fred said.
"No, I mean…a really weird sex talk."
Wide grins spread across the twin’s faces. "Oh! You
mean
the ol’ Plug and Outlet talk!" George said.
"Yeah, gave it to us when we started dating," Fred
added.
He pointed a finger at Ron with sudden amusement, "That’s
right…you’ve
got yourself an outlet now!"
"Ron and Hermione…making electricity!" George
teased.
Ron stood up, "She is not an outlet!"
"Well, she’s not a plug!" Fred said.
"Hey, did dad explain that if you stick your finger
in
an outlet, your hair will stand on end?" George said.
Ron’s jaw dropped! He was speechless.
"It’s true." Fred agreed.
After a long pause Ron stammered, "So, does that
mean
that you…have you…"
"It’s not polite to plug in and tell about it!" Fred
said.
Ron rolled his eyes and headed over to his broom. "I
think
I will join you for a game."
As they headed down the stairs, George couldn’t help
but
say, "Makes you reevaluate dad’s fascination with plugs, doesn’t
it?"
They went out to the vacant hill and began their
game,
not aware of the conversation Molly was having with Ginny up in
Ginny’s
room.
"Ginny dear, boys and girls are like Quills and Ink
Bottles…."
****Ok…so I have to admit…I had help on this one! My
husband
(also a big HP fan) and I were talking about all the sex stories on
here
and we just sort of…came up with this! In fact, the whole
Plug/Outlet
thing was his idea. We must have laughed out loud for an hour coming
up
with some of this dialogue. I hope it amused you as much as it did
us!
Continued in Quills and Ink
Bottles...
