Getting into bed, Arthur Weasley gave a deep sigh of
He was dead tired and what he wanted most right now was a good
sleep. He bent over his wife’s side and kissed her on the cheek.
night, Molly Dear."
"You know, Arthur, it’s so nice to have them all
again." She said, sounding wide awake.
"Umm humm," he replied sleepily.
"The house is so quite while they are all away. It
me little to do."
"Well, now that Fred and George have graduated, I
you’ll have lots to do, keeping after them." He had hoped that that
end the conversation and he could get some sleep. He knew how upset
was that Fred and George weren’t as determined to get ‘respectable’
as Bill, Charlie, or Percy. No, the twins were dead set on opening
"Yes, I’ll keep after them," she said softly. "And I
we’ll be seeing a great deal of Hermione this summer, too. I’ll have
keep after her and Ron."
Not really hearing his wife, Arthur said, "Hermione
never caused trouble. She won’t be a bother if she
"No, but she’s never been dating our son,
This woke him up. "What? She’s dating our
Smiling at her husband, Molly said, "Of course she
Didn’t you see how sweet Ron was to her? I even spotted him giving
a little kiss!"
That made him nervous. "Er, Molly dear, how long do
suppose this has been going on?"
"Not long," she yawned. "I asked Harry, and he said
started around Christmas time. And I also noticed that Harry has
paying an awful lot of attention to Ginny lately."
Sitting up in bed, Arthur said, "Hold on. Molly, one
at a time! Have you talked to Ron?"
"Heaven’s no, that’s your job dear." She thought
it a minute and said, "You did talk to the other boys didn’t
"But what? Then this should be easy for you. And you
savor it, dear. Ron is your last chance to have the
Nodding and lying back down, Arthur said, "Yes,
dear, but you get the honors of speaking to Ginny."
"Agreed." She kissed him and they both fell
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Standing in front of Ron’s closed bedroom door the
day, Arthur paused and quickly went over his speech in his head. He
his hand to the door and knocked lightly. "Ron, you in
His son’s voice came from within. "Yeah? You need
"May I come in?"
"Sure…but don’t complain about the mess!"
Arthur opened the door to his son’s very orange
and glanced around. It was indeed messy, but then, Ron had just
back from his fifth year at Hogwarts yesterday and was in the middle
Actually, he wasn’t unpacking. He was sitting on his
reading what appeared to be a letter, and a very lengthy one at
Ron quickly put it away, as if he didn’t want Arthur to see it.
do you want?" Ron asked.
"Oh…er…just to chat. Mind if I sit down?" He
towards the end of the bed.
"Ok…" Ron sounded hesitant.
Arthur gave a quick look at Ron’s bedside table and
a photo of him, Harry, and Hermione taken just after the O.W.L.s had
completed. Ron was holding Hermione’s hand in the picture. Arthur
his head start to bead up with sweat.
"What did you want to talk about, dad?"
Arthur pointed a finger at the photo. "I need to
to you about this, son?"
Ron looked at the picture, too. "Oh come on! I did
best! I got more O.W.L.s then Fred or George got! I know I didn’t do
well Percy, but then I…"
"Oh no! That’s not what I meant!" Arthur gave a
laugh. "Your mother and I are very pleased about that."
"Then what? What did I do?" Ron was very
"Nothing…well I hope you haven’t done
He looked at his son who was wrinkling his freckled nose at him.
see, Ron, I need to tell you about plugs
"What? Why would I care about…"
"Please, let me finish. Boys are plugs…and
are outlets. Both have the necessary…er…hardware to create
The eceltricity can only be created when the plug is inserted into
outlet. And this should be done ONLY WHEN BOTH THE PLUG AND THE
"DAD!" Ron was thunderstruck. "Are you talking
Arthur felt his face flush.
Ron covered his face with his hands. "Ugh…I don’t
this!" He turned to face his father. "Dad, we’ve already had
Stunned, Arthur said, "What?
"You did?" He was shocked at how open his son was
"Sure, we all did. It’s mandatory for all fifth year
"Mandatory? Since when are all students required to
"Not sex, dad…sex education." Ron raised his
at his dad.
"Oh…of course." Arthur felt a bit foolish.
is the key to safety."
"You didn’t think that….Hermione…and I…"
"Well, son, I was hoping that you would be
and wait for a while, but I can’t force you. And speaking of
sure you never force a plug into an outlet. You may end up with bent
Ron starred at his father. "What?"
"And sometimes when the plug just won’t fit, we can
the lubricaderm spell. Works wonders!"
Eyes wide, Ron said, "Huh?"
"And most importantly, when all the eceltricity is
and the plug is removed, make sure you don’t ignore the outlet. Let
outlet know how wonderful and beautiful it is. We don’t want our
to feel neglected!"
"DAD! STOP! You don’t need to go on…I get
Arthur patted his son on the shoulder. "All right.
remember to be responsible." He stood up and left the room, leaving
door open as he left.
When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he heaved
great sigh of relief. It went well, he thought. The boys had each
so differently to the speech. Fred and George had laughed at him.
had sat very quietly and didn’t say a word. Charlie had kept him
for an hour, asking all sorts of questions. And Bill…well Bill had
experienced it by the time they talked. He shrugged and set off to
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Ron sat motionless on his bed. What had just
Had his dad really just compared sex to plugs and outlets? Fred and
popped their heads into his room.
"You wanna play some Quidditch?"
Not even responding to the question, Ron placed his
on his knees and asked, "Has dad ever had…a talk with
The twins looked at each other. "Dad talks all the
"No, I mean…a really weird sex talk."
Wide grins spread across the twin’s faces. "Oh! You
the ol’ Plug and Outlet talk!" George said.
"Yeah, gave it to us when we started dating," Fred
He pointed a finger at Ron with sudden amusement, "That’s
got yourself an outlet now!"
"Ron and Hermione…making electricity!" George
Ron stood up, "She is not an outlet!"
"Well, she’s not a plug!" Fred said.
"Hey, did dad explain that if you stick your finger
an outlet, your hair will stand on end?" George said.
Ron’s jaw dropped! He was speechless.
"It’s true." Fred agreed.
After a long pause Ron stammered, "So, does that
that you…have you…"
"It’s not polite to plug in and tell about it!" Fred
Ron rolled his eyes and headed over to his broom. "I
I will join you for a game."
As they headed down the stairs, George couldn’t help
say, "Makes you reevaluate dad’s fascination with plugs, doesn’t
They went out to the vacant hill and began their
not aware of the conversation Molly was having with Ginny up in
"Ginny dear, boys and girls are like Quills and Ink
****Ok…so I have to admit…I had help on this one! My
(also a big HP fan) and I were talking about all the sex stories on
and we just sort of…came up with this! In fact, the whole
thing was his idea. We must have laughed out loud for an hour coming
with some of this dialogue. I hope it amused you as much as it did
Continued in Quills and Ink