The Sugar Quill
Author: Arabella (Professors' Bookshelf)  Story: Ron Rants, Year Four  Chapter: Chapter Three
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Ron Rants

A purely supplemental fanfiction

Which corresponds to HQoW, Year Four

By Arabella

Which is based entirely on " Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire"

By JK Rowling

Disclaimer: Hers, not mine.

September 1

I’ll kill him – that’s my dream. I’ll take him apart, one arm, then the other, then his legs – I won’t even use magic, I don’t care. I can’t say this stuff to anybody – Harry hates him but it’s different, and Hermione never lets me fight him. "You’ll be just as bad as he is if you give in to it." I notice SHE didn’t quite hold herself back last year. Sometimes it’s worth it to dig into somebody like Malfoy – it’d feel so great to rip him up – he’s a lousy, stinking bastard and I wish he’d gone to Durmstrang and fallen off a glacier or been chewed alive by a bear. One more word about my Dad – or my brothers, even Percy – or Hermione... he said Mud – that word – again. I heard him in there. Hermione shut the door on him and pretended not to hear it. I don’t know how she does that. How can she just sit above it? I can’t. I want to see him cry, and before we’re done at Hogwarts, I swear, I’ll see that bloody prat sob like a girl.

I am also going to kill the following people: Mum, Dad, Bill, Charlie and Percy, all of whom are now officially my ex-family members, since they wouldn’t tell me the secret, and made me look like an idiot. I am also going to strangle my owl.

God, Pig, shut up. I threw my robes over him, and he’s hooting again – what is his PROBLEM? Those bloody robes probably smell or something – can’t believe I took them out of my trunk. At least Hermione didn’t laugh – I guess I knew she wouldn’t. But I wish I’d left them in the trunk, where Malfoy couldn’t.... oh, screw him anyway. I’m not hiding anything from him. He’s a – no. I’m not going to keep on wasting my hand muscles writing about it.

PIG. SHUT THAT BEAK. I’m not in the mood for this noise, I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to talk to anybody. I just want to kick something. SomeONE would be my preference. Why can’t I get over thi—


Crazy woman – scared me half to death, thought she was reading over my shoulder – crept up behind me on the seat and tapped me, and when I turned around she was right in my face! Invasion of privacy – she’d kill if I looked in that diary of hers. I’d do it, though, if I knew how. I want to know what she said about me. I know I’m in there, she said so last year. Bet it’s all the speeches she wishes I’d let her give me. I wonder.

Damn it, this noise is really getting annoying. I can’t take this train anymore, I just want to be in the Great Hall, seeing which first years we’ll get in Gryffindor, and having dinner. I’m so hungry I could eat a hippogriff.


Return to HQOW, Year Four



September 2

If Mad-Eye-Moody wanted me to jump off a building, I reckon I’d do it. He’s done me the best favor anyone ever could – and he did it so perfectly – it was beautiful – I’ll never, ever forget it – I only wish it could happen every morning. If I could wake up every single day to the sounds of Malfoy the Magical Ferret getting smacked into the hallway floor, I think my life would be perfect. It was amazing. And Mad-Eye didn’t even care when McGonagall caught him at it – she pitched into him, but he just kept bouncing that snippy little ferret with his wand. He’s the coolest teacher here. Besides Dumbledore. But even Dumbledore’s never done anything that made me that happy. I’ve never been this excited about any class before. Defense Against the Dark Arts is going to be great. I wish we didn’t have to wait till Thursday.

Well, here’s Hermione, back from the library again. I don’t know why she looks so self-important, I know she hasn’t been studying anything. Let’s see what she’ll do if I curse a little bit.

Heh heh. She’s so easy. I said damn this morning and she nearly spat out her toast. I think my favorite thing, next to watching Malfoy get transfigured and tortured, is seeing how mad I can get Hermione before she’ll rise to it. This time she gave me her "You’re a child and I’m a grown up" look, and went upstairs. But if I’d have done one more thing, like said, "You know, you really caved on those house-elves–couldn’t even hold out for two meals!" then she’d’ve completely lost it. I don’t think she knows I’ve got it all calculated.

Divination. This homework is just a crime. It’s the first day of school, haven’t these teachers ever heard of easing into it? I’ll tell her what I predict. I predict that by the end of the year, I’ll have faked ninety percent of my assignments in that class. Trelawney’s class is a piece of cake – but she sure does pile on the homework. I guess maybe I shouldn’t have been so loud about the Uranus thing. But it was worth it. All the guys had to dive down and stick their faces in their poufs to stop from laughing – even Neville, who I wasn’t sure would get it. Dean actually couldn’t control himself for about ten minutes. Harry said that was my best one yet. True, I’ll have to work to top that one. Uranus. Brilliant. This was a good day.


Return to HQOW, Year Four


September 5

I hope she’s kidding. She doesn’t really expect me to go around Hogwarts wearing a badge that says "spew", does she? I mean, that’s like an invitation for people to puke on me, or something. For a smart girl, she can be really dense about people. Nobody’s going to wear those things, even if they think she’s right about those elves, which she isn’t. If they wanted to get free, they’d fight and get free. If they wanted to get paid, they’d ask to get paid. What the hell is the matter with the elves here at Hogwarts anyway? I mean, they’ve got a place to live, haven’t they? And they’ve got food, haven’t they? That’s room and board, isn’t it? That’s compensation – I know some jobs just pay room and board – Charlie’s first internship in Romania was just room and board, I remember him griping about it – nobody said he was a slave. I don’t know why this is even a problem for Hermione, I mean, why does she get so bottled up about everything? It’s like she just has to find a reason to be uptight. First year it was "rules, rules, rules". Second year.... second year she was Petrified half the time, so I’ll give her a free pass on that one. Third year it was that damn Time-Turner and all those classes. And now she’s got some free time in her life, so she’s scheduled a giant crusade. Who DOES that? She needs to RELAX. She spends her free time learning new Charms and saving the bloody planet. It’s my nightmare. And if I won’t wear that badge – which I WON’T – then she’s going to get all offended and act like I’m not really her friend...I hope Harry won’t wear it either, then at least I won’t have to put up with the guilt all alone.

Harry’s not well. He’s wishing he’d never told Sirius about his scar hurting – I’d be freaking out if I were him. Sirius is the only good thing that’s ever happened to Harry – family wise, anyway. If Sirius gets caught and Kissed by some dementor, Harry’d be devastated. I wish he’d stay out west, or down south, or wherever he is. Coming back to Hogsmeade is just asking for it. I’m sure he’ll be Padfoot, though. That helps, knowing he’s got that Animagus thing. You know, I wonder how hard that would be. I think I’d like to be a hippogriff. A rampaging hippogriff – which, by the way, I’ll be trampled by on September the..... sixteenth. Yes, it’s going to be a very sorry month, I have to say. Tut tut for me. Trelawney’s going to lap it up – Hermione was right about her. She’s a right old fraud. Reckon she’s never said anything nearing a prediction in her life – except maybe that one trance Harry saw. He said Dumbledore even believed that one. But she couldn’t have been right about that, I mean, could she? You-Know-Who coming back? That’s got to be wrong, I mean, that was all over thirteen years ago – he’s not "rising again", not in my lifetime. Weird to think I was just a little kid and all that was happening. I was too little – I don’t remember any of it. I don’t want to know what it was like, either, thanks. Trelawney’d better be wrong.

Well I think I’ll go up to bed. Done with the fake homework – Harry’s already up there keeping to himself about Sirius, doesn’t want to be talked to right now, I think. Don’t blame him. He’s feeling crappy. And Hermione’s just gone up, after a big wordy insult about my "inability to see anything outside my frame of reference," and my "selfish disdain for the feelings of others." She reads too much. So there’s nothing to do down here ‘cept write, and I’ll be hexed if I’m going to write for fun. Although Gred and Forge are doing something writey – what IS that? They’ve been two heads bent over parchment ever since the World Cup. They’re up to something. I bet they’re trying to bring back the Wheezes. Mum’ll kill, but I hope they do it. I’d like to feed Malfoy a Ton Tongue Toffee and see him choke on his big ugly licker.

Oh yeah, and I have to say, Moody gets big points for doing those curses right in front of us even though the Ministry says not to. They were incredible. I’ve never seen them before, and I’ve been hearing about the Imperius one all my life – he says he’s going to put it on us and let us try and fight it! I can’t wait! He loses a few of his points, though, for using giant spiders as his examples. Man, that was sick.

Return to HQOW, Year Four

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