READING, WRITING, AND WIGGING
A Wizarding Parents’
Guide to Billywig Abuse in Children
A Free Publication brought
to you by Wizards and Witches for a Drug Free Britain
Since the counterculture revolution that
took place in the early 1970’s, coupled with the nation’s infatuation
with all things Australian in the 1980’s, Billywig abuse has been on the
rise in Wizarding society. Billywig use is up 45 percent among young people
between the ages of 11 and 17. Even more alarming is the rise in Billywig
use among young witches between the ages of 12 and 15. For this group,
Billywig use has risen 75 percent since 1985, with almost four out of
every five witches between the ages of 12 and 15 having reported using
Billywig Description and History
Billywigs are insects native to Australia
whose sting causes giddiness and levitation in the user. (For more information
on the Billywig’s appearance and habitat, see Fantastic Beasts &
Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander, Obscurus Books) Australian witches
and wizards first learned of the Billywig’s magical properties from the
Aboriginal peoples, who, as of today, still use them in ancient tribal
ceremonies and rituals. The Aborigines also claim that Billywigs are effective
in cures against kidney stones and headaches, and they have been known
to use them in remedies for these and other ailments. However, the medicinal
value of the Billywig has never been proven, and it is assumed among leading
wizard-medical researchers that the only benefit derived is that of extreme
muscle relaxation, which, in turn leads to some pain relief.
Terminology to become familiar with
regarding Billywig usage:
- Billywig usage is often referred
to as stinging or wigging.
- When a user refers to being stung,
they are referring to the physical and mental state they enter after
- Someone that is all stung up
is said to be feeling the full effects of a sting.
- Slang terms for Billywigs include:
bills, bw’s, stings, and wigs.
Myths surrounding Billywigs and their
Myth: Billywig use is safe.
Fact: Billywig use can in fact
be extremely dangerous. Users that overdose on Billywig stings will
hover uncontrollably for days or even weeks. Victims that have had
a severe allergic reaction to Billywig stings are left floating permanently
as well as suffering from sporadic, yet often violent, giggle fits.
Myth: Long-term use of Billywigs
is not harmful.
Fact: To this day, the physical
and mental effects of long-term Billywig usage are unknown. Wizard-medical
studies are inconclusive on the subject. However, there are many studies
that do conclude that long-term users suffer irreparable memory loss
and are more likely to wear outlandish tie-dyed robes.
Myth: Dried Billywig stings
are the key ingredient in Fizzing Whizbees®.
Fact: Although at one time
during the early 19th century Billywig stings were used
in the invention and production of the popular sweet Fizzing Whizbees®,
they have not been used as an ingredient since the early 1900’s.
Signs that your child may be abusing
- Constant levitation and/or floating.
- Extreme cheerfulness and the apparent
lack of any teen angst.
- Bloodshot eyes and increased appetite
especially when coupled with cheerfulness and levitation.
If you notice one or more of these signs
in your child they could be abusing Billywigs. Remember that you are the
most important factor in whether or not your child will abuse drugs. Talk
to your kids, they will listen.
For more information or additional pamphlets
and resources, please contact Wizards and Witches for a Drug Free Britain.