The Sugar Quill
Author: Squin (Professors' Bookshelf)  Story: Magical Magic  Chapter: Default
The distribution of this story is for personal use only. Any other form of distribution is prohibited without the consent of the author.

All characters and events you recognise from Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling (aka "The Goddess")
I own nothing.  Cheers :o)

Rating: G

Author's Note: (warning, this is a tediously long ramble, but I felt this needed some -- ok, a lot of -- explaining)
The practical component of the Tertiary Entrance Exam for the West Australian Year 12 TEE subject Drama Studies requires students to create, devise, write, rehearse produce and perform an original solo dramatic production of 5-7 minutes in length.  It can be based on anything and about anything, as long as it is a piece of effective theatre.
Well, when I first started this task, I was totally freaked out.  I had no idea where to begin, it could literally be about anything and those 7 minutes end up counting for 25% of my entire grade for the subject... GAAAH!  Then I was brainstorming with my teacher one afternoon, and we started thinking about maybe basing the piece on a book... so what books did I read?  Well, the night before I had just finished reading The Prisoner of Azkaban, and The Goblet of Fire was in my school bag waiting for me to start.  "Uh, well, I'm reading Harry Potter at the moment, actually, and I just love those books," I said.  What followed that sentance was just one of those quirky moments when you can actually imagine light-bulbs flashing above people's heads... heh heh.  Another teacher poked her head out of the office window (my teacher and I had been sitting on the verandah outside) and goes, "Did someone say Harry Potter?"  It was so amusing to see a thirty-year-old's eyes light up like she was seven. ;o)
So, realising that my terribly frizzy hair could actually come into use for something, I ran home to finish GoF and then began writing my little theatrical exploration of Hermione, my favourite character.  A couple of my friends who read HP laughed and said it looked an awful lot like typecasting and I sort of agreed (I'm a bit bossy, sort of a know-it-all and I'm one of those prefects at school that kids who don't wear their uniform properly run away from in fear of getting detentions... Plus my dad used to call me a witch when he yelled at me, but stopped a couple of months ago when I started taking it as a compliment... ah heck, my teacher even made a Freudian slip and called me "Hermione" a few weeks after I'd done this -- a moment I will proudly remember for as long as I live -- and after seeing the movie everyone went, "wow, your characterisation was spot on"). Typecasting or not, I seriously liked the idea of becoming my role-model on stage ;o)
The first draft I wrote ended up being this whole R/Hr thing, because it is set during GoF, after the Yule Ball, and Hermione's having this deep-and-meaningful with Ginny about stuff, but the final version doesn't really go into it.  I had to make sure that people who haven't read Harry Potter would understand and enjoy it, and they wouldn't get half the references I had made.
I totally loved doing this task, it was so much fun.  I had this awesome purple velvet cloak and a wand and spell books and parchment and quills and funky lighting and sound effects for the magic bits and I even perfected an English accent.
After a month of hard work creating and rehearsing it (although it was hardly 'hard' and I was enjoying it so much it didn't seem like 'work' at all) I performed my piece with the rest of my class at the Year 12 One Woman Show night for an audience of 100 and 3 assessors.  I was so stoked when I got nearly perfect marks (well, really, what else could I expect, I was playing Hermione!!) but the best thing had to be the audience's response.  They laughed like mad and some of the comments I heard of were things like, "Wow, I stopped reading Harry Potter after the second one because it was too scary but I want to read the others now," and, "I thought Harry Potter was for little kids but it looks like so much fun! Are the books in the library?"  I was so happy!!  I'd done my bit to spread the Magic!!!  Mission: Accomplished. :o)
This is a play script, and should be read as such.  The ellipses ("...") that come following a space indicate where Ginny would be saying something, those coming directly after a word means Hermione is pondering.
And I've rambled for way too long, so without further ado, on with the show...


Magical Magic
A One Woman Show based on the characters & events in
Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire by JK Rowling

Notes from the Program:
Magic is wonderful, of course it is, but what does Hermione, one of the best students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, really think about it? And what's it like to be the best friend of the most famous boy in the Wizarding world?
The action in this scene takes place behind-the-scenes of Chapter 30 in Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire.  Hermione was supposed to be helping Harry with hex practicing for the Third Task, but got a bit held up.  When she arrives in the common room, Harry and Ron are nowhere to be found – Harry's hanging out in Dumbledore's Pensieve, and Ron's trying to find him after Harry ran out of Divination – but Ginny's around, willing to avoid doing her Potions homework by having a chat with everyone's favorite bushy-haired know-it-all.

Gryffindor Common Room, late afternoon. Stage wash comes up to reveal the stage. There is a desk with books, parchment and a quill on it DSL, a chair CSR and stairs leading to the boys' dorms DSR. GINNY WEASLEY is sitting at the desk, hard at work. HERMIONE GRANGER enters USL, looking a bit flustered, as if she has been running. She is wearing a plum-coloured hooded cloak and carrying a backpack as well as a large pile of books in her arms.

Sorry I'm late, I just completl–

[She stops, realizing that she is too late and that HARRY POTTER and RON WEASLEY are not in the common room. She drops the backpack on the floor and sighs loudly. GINNY starts to speak to her]

Oh, hi Ginny … uh, just a moment.

[She moves down to the staircase to the boys' dorms and calls upstairs]

Harry? Ron? Are you up there?

[No answer. She looks around, disappointed with herself]

Have you seen the boys, Ginny? … Twenty minutes ago? Oh no … Just Ron? You mean Harry wasn't with him? … Oh, I wonder where he is … Um, we were going to go over some spells … Look, did Ron tell where he was going, or say when he'd be back? … Oh.

[Pause. She picks up her backpack]

Did he seem at all... annoyed that I wasn't here?

[Sarcastically] Ah, Fantastic.

[She sits down on the chair and stares into space, then looks up a GINNY who is speaking to her]

Mmm? Oh, I was just in the library, I got a bit pre-occupied and lost track of time … Viktor and I were just talking about things [pause] Don't tell Ron, alright? He'll get narky at me … Oh yes, he's still being completely stupid about this whole thing… I just don't get it. [She shrugs, and continues reading, then looks at GINNY]

Ginny, why is it so dark in here? … Well, it's very bad to study in this light, you can't concentrate, and with that huge Potions assignment, you'll need all the concentrating you can get. [She lifts her wand]


[Sfx, Lx, Stage wash becomes brighter]

That's better.

[HERMIONE looks at her wand admiringly]

It's amazing isn't it, us being what we are … oh, you know, magical… I've been at Hogwarts for nearly four years now and I know I should just be used to it … oh yes, it's normal, of course it is [pause] But sometimes I think about it and I find it so hard to believe [pause] I'm actually a witch! [pause]

What would my life be like if I hadn't got the letter to come to Hogwarts? If I'd stayed a Muggle? … Oh, I've just been thinking about it the last couple of days … It's what I was talking to Viktor about, although he didn't quite get it. He's been riding around on broomsticks since before he could even walk [pause] I guess it's the same for you … Maybe, Harry might understand [pause] but I doubt it, I mean, he's Harry Potter. He's got books written about him, every kid in our world knows his name, you can't get much more magical than he is, and my parents are dentists!

Here I am with my cloak and my wand and my spell books and, well, I suppose I'm just wondering how different things would have been if I wasn't here… [Pause]

Oh no, it's not that I'm unhappy! Not at all! I love it here! I've got such good friends, you, Harry and Ron and we have such a good time, I mean, we're learning magic! [pause] Plus, with Harry around we're pretty much guaranteed at least one adventure every year… Otherwise they couldn't write books about him! [Pause]

Oh, did I tell you? Professor Moody told me that I could be an Auror! I could be having adventures for the rest of my life! Just think, [pulls out wand and points it at audience Dana Scully-style] "Special Agent Hermione Granger, Ministry Bureau of Dark Wizard Investigations. Get off your broomstick and DROP – YOUR – WAND." [pause] It has a nice ring to it, don't you think? Maybe I could arrest Malfoy one day!!

And speaking of Dark Wizards, you really should get back to your Potions homework, or Professor Snape will have your neck… [To herself] I wonder where the boys are … Oh Ginny! I'm not going to do your assignment for you! … Well you'll never learn! … Oh all right, I'll have a look over it. [She walks over to GINNY at the table and reads over her shoulder, then starts scribbling on the parchment]

Oh I can't believe Snape's making you do this! He must be making his curriculum harder; we didn't cover Dream Potions until this year, of course I could have done it all last year. [Thinks for a moment] Ok, well don't forget the Bezoar, but it says eleven key ingredients… mmm, what's the last one? Oh, it might be in my Ordinary Wizarding Level Potions book. I'll just get it for you. [She starts to go to her books, then stops to explain to GINNY]

Yes, I know I'm not sitting my OWL's until next year, but I've already got my 5th Year books so I'll be well prepared. It's always better to stay ahead that try to catch up! [Pause]

I might just practice my Summoning Charm; it's good exam revision.

[She points her wand to her pile of books]

Accio Potions Book!

[Sfx, Lx. The book does not move, she stares the pile of books, completely confused, and tries again]

Accio Potions Book!

[Sfx, Lx. Nothing happens again, pause]

Oh dear… [very embarrassed] Yes I know it's such a simple spell, I can't understand why it's - Oh! That's right, I put an Anti-Mischief Protection Charm on my backpack this morning, I forgot that. [Walks back over to her books on the sofa, then points the wand at her backpack]


[Sfx, lx]

[Explaining to GINNY] Well, that slimy Slytherin Pansy Parkinson was looking very suspicious yesterday, and you know how much she doesn't like me. I didn't want to take any chances.

[She takes a large book out of the backpack, and walks back to GINNY, flicking through it]

I guess the Charm protects it from other spells too… interesting… I'll have to have a chat with Professor Flitwick about that. Ah, here we are, Antidotes for Nightmares -

[She stops as RON walks in]

Ron! And where have you been? … – Well you should have waited; I must have got here... two minutes after you'd left, isn't that right Ginn –

[She notices the worried expression on RON's face and pauses abruptly]

What's wrong? And where's Harry?


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