people come into our life and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave
footprints in our hearts. And we are never, ever the same"
are up here!” the girl starts screaming all the sudden and I feel my legs
go numb with fear and my life flash before my eyes and I shudder to think
of what’s going to happen next.
am going to die.
I am going to die without achieving what I set out to do. They probably
have dementors outside waiting for me. They’ll make it fast, and suck
the life out of me, but the remorse will always be there. I failed James
& Lily and now I am going to fail Harry too.
is going to win.
won all those years ago. He not only killed James and Lily,
Harry without his family and forcing Dumbledore to give him to his Muggle
aunt, but he is also responsible for the time that I spent in Azkaban.
he is going to win again. Little Peter is going to come out on top. He
always wanted to be important, to be powerful, to be more than he was,
more than we were.
destroyed his friends. James is dead. I am going to die soon, and God
only knows what happened to Remus.
look up to see a shower of red sparks and the man I have been thinking
about standing in the doorway.
looks old and tired. His eyes have lost that mischievous glint they used
to have when we were at Hogwarts. They reflect loneliness and pain now
and I would give everything I have to take that pain away, to know that
at least one of my friends is happy.
looks around, checking on everyone before glancing at me and his eyes
take me back to a warm and sunny day many years ago, to the place where
I met the boys who would later become my greatest friends.
Hogwarts Express had been filled with people from all over the country
and three strange looking girls had entered the compartment James and
I shared, whispering things like “Oh! He’s so cute” while looking at James
with a mixture of excitement and longing.
I had done what any good friend would have done in a situation like that.
had been laughing and picturing James face when I spotted a compartment
that looked to be empty so I had entered, eager to be alone so I could
start planning a new prank.
that’s when I saw him for the first time, sitting alone and looking sad
I had said to him and he had looked surprised and delighted to have someone
talking to him. He had smiled and extended his hand to me.
name is Remus,” he had told me and I had shaken his hand and given him
a bright smile before replying.
had nodded and I had sat besides him and we had talked about everything
and anything until James came twenty minutes later looking for me.
how it had all begun. Simple enough. Just two boys meeting on their way
voice shocks me out of my thoughts and I look at him, seeing all the wands
fly to his hand as he finally enters the room. I suppose this place brings
him bad memories. Memories of me. The friend who betrayed him.
that I didn’t.
isn’t going to believe me, I know him well enough to know that. He is
going to listen to me if I choose to talk, because he believes everyone
deserves to be heard. Then he’ll consider my words, making a mental list
of facts and he’ll tell me in that calm but steady voice he always used
to get us out of detention.
“I don’t believe you” or “You are lying” but “It’s over Sirius” because
he is pleasant that way. Always trying to find the best possible way to
say bad things.
worrying about everyone else.
has taken care of him all this years with us gone? I’ve spent so many
days thinking about how I failed James and how much I hate Peter and not
enough time thinking about the only friend I have left.
should have know it wasn’t you, Moony’
my eyes tell him and I hope he can still read me as he could twelve years
eyes soften and for a moment I let myself hope. Could it be? Then I hear
his voice, but it’s not the calm and steady voice I had been expecting.
His voice is raw and full of emotion and I could swear I saw a tear glistening
in his eye.
is he Sirius?”
I moment I can’t speak. Is he talking about …does he know?
How could he? He must be talking about something else. I must have misunderstood
his eyes never leave mine and it seems like time hasn’t passed between
us. I can still read his expression as I could when we were at school.
And his expression tells me he believes me. He cares about me.
am almost tempted to ask why but the words James repeated so much in our
graduation speech are ringing in my ears now.
for now, friends forever. No matter what the world says. No matter what
people think. My friends come first.”
he believes me. He deserves a chance to believe what he wants to believe.
I didn’t give him that chance twelve years ago when I refused to see him
and I am not going to make the same mistake twice.
raise my hand slowly and point to Peter and I see a flash of recognition
in his eyes. He starts talking but I am barely listening to him. Happiness
is breaking over me like waves.
friend, once lost but now found.
continues talking, looking at me, or right through me, who knows. He always
had this annoying habit… You never knew if he was talking to you or the
boy behind you.
things never change.
am so glad. With him at my side I can take anything life throws at me.
stops talking and looks at me, his face open and vulnerable, waiting.
I can only nod.
hear Harry’s voice in the background but all I can see is Remus, who walks
up to me and extends his hand for me to take it. I do, and next thing
I know, I am standing up and Crookshanks slides off my chest to the floor.
choke back a sob as I stand there and I can’t help but think everything
will be okay. We are the Marauders after all. We may have lost a battle
but the war still rages on.
now, it’s not Sirius Black against the world.
Moony and Padfoot against the world.
that is quite enough.