Author’s Note: I came up with this quickly for my own
amusement. Aren’t you lucky I
share? Harry Potter et al. Belong to J. K. Rowling. The Grinch
belongs to the
Dr. Seuss. This dumb poem belongs to me.
Could The Snape Save Hogwarts?
An HP Fanfiction by Moey
Every professor at Hogwarts liked Harry a lot…
But the potions master,
Who dwelled in the dungeons,
The Snape hated Harry and all the Potter legions!
Now, please don’t ask why, JKR has not stated the reason.
It could be, perhaps, the scar gave the Snape a fright.
It could be that Harry’s green eyes were too bright.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May be that the Snape is setting himself up for a fall.
Whatever the reason,
The scar, eyes, or fall,
He stands at the front of class, despising them all.
Staring out at the Gryffindors with a sour, Snapey
At the hope, faith, and trust that seem to abound.
For he knows every student he is about to teach
Is very certain that passing grades (and adulthood)
they will reach.
"And they’re thinking I’ll teach them," the Snape thought with a
"All about potions, year after year."
Now Harry could have sworn as the Snape was busy harassing,
That he was definitely thinking, “I MUST find some way to keep Potter from
But the Snape knows an evil that most people dread,
An evil that once lurked inside his head.
It’s this evil that’s after the young Harry Potter.
(Yes, the very same boy that Peeves called a rotter!)
You ask why does it seem that the Snape so hates Harry?
Why not another student like Ron, Draco,
Could it be he’s just worried about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?
Is his hatred toward Potter all part of the game?
It seems the Snape knows something
That the rest of us do not,
Something important to the whole HP plot.
So in the meantime the students go on in their daze,
Attending their classes in the whole Hogwarts’ haze.
Playing their Quidditch, exploding snap, and chess
The Weasley twins armed with dungbombs, making a
And then there are the feasts,
Oh the feasts!
The very best of all!
They take place at Hogwarts in the Great Hall.
Trifle and treacle (what exactly are those?),
Yorkshire pudding and lamb chops (sorry, this Yank looks down her nose!)
The students attend with their robes rather loose
And leave with them tight, full of food and pumpkin
His eyes always twinkling.
The Snape is there too, his looks give Harry an
The Snape does not like him from these looks he is sure.
In class the Snape’s relentless, his hatred is pure.
Harry can not win even saving the world as he did,
The Snape just sneers at him looking morosely morbid.
The Snape’s character has been in question since the
(Or Sorcerer, if like me, the other side of the pond is your home.)
But after the first three we all found we were awry,
It was never, ever the Snape, but some other bad guy.
Then in book four, he was again in some doubt,
That Dark Mark on his arm practically wanted to shout!
But it really does seem that somewhere on the way
The Snape has come over to the good side to stay.
What will the Snape do?
Will we ever know?
Calm down, you’ll find out,
There’s still three books to go!
But for now the Snape’s still miserable, depressed it
Will he ever be happy? (Maybe in his fans’ dreams!)
This Snape-Hating-Potter and Potter-Hating-Snape
Will go on for a while as will the debate.
Could the Snape help save Hogwarts? Is he up to the test?
Soon enough, my friend, we'll shall put this matter to
When we get OoP we’ll learn what
the Snape’s gone to do
But alas fellow Potterites, not ‘til two-thousand and
I know, I know, like me you can’t wait!
At this rate it could be two-thousand and eight!
So keep yourself busy with fanfiction and chat,
Learn some Brit. slang, like ‘gerroff’ and ‘prat’.
Then hopefully some day I’ll finish this rhyme,
And much like the Grinch, the Snape will be fine.
But I still say he’s going to take a bad fall,
It will happen when he joins Harry to help save them all.
I can’t be quite certain, but it could come true,
That a Harry-Snape team defeats evil Lord You-Know-Who!
And the students of Hogwarts will be singing the praises
Of fellows like Harry and the Snape through the ages.
Then perhaps, just maybe, in book number seven,
The Snape fans will get a bit of old Snapey Heaven.
For it is possible (but not certain) that at the very last feast,
That the Snape will still be around to carve the roast beast!